Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
October 21, 2016
October 13, 2016
October 7, 2016
October 1, 2016
September 29, 2016
Living in 2016
From the
archives.
archives.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2016 when...
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries...
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic, and you turn around to go and get it .
10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list .
1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries...
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic, and you turn around to go and get it .
10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list .
September 27, 2016
The Head of Bob
From the website:
The Ultimate Oracle: Over 1625038 Questions Answered
Of the many True Oracles, none are more profound than the Mystical Smoking Head of 'Bob'. Not even the Severed Head of Arnold Palmer can penetrate the veils of bulldada protecting the Norms from the Terrifying Truths and Puzzling Evidence.
Concentrate and ask a Yes or No Question
Oh By The Frop Of His Pipe, Grant Me Vision!
With the recent death of Arnold Palmer, I'm wondering if they'll change that particular gruesome reference. Probably not, though.
I asked Bob if I will win the lottery:
(click for larger view)
September 25, 2016
September 20, 2016
The Worm Didn't Turn
Cute 404 page on The Food Channel:
I was a little disappointed I wasn't able to find the recipe for Chicken Alfredo Soup right away, but I guess it's like real life; it's better to bite into an apple and find a worm than biting into one and finding half a worm.
September 14, 2016
Difficult to Prove
Man, these "prove you're a human" things are getting harder and harder. I had to go find my glucose meter for this one.
September 10, 2016
September 5, 2016
Instant Rimshot
From the site: If you need quick access to an ironically-placed rimshot sound to mock your friends, or a genuinely-placed rimshot to put your great joke over the top, you've come to the right place
July 19, 2016
Squidbillies Theme Song
While I've done a few reviews of movies and TV shows, I keep meaning to do more, but to be honest, they take a lot of time and especially if I want them to be truly original and worth reading.
I used to watch Squidbillies when I had cable, then thought the show had been cancelled, so I was surprised to see the newest episodes online. I've been d/l them to watch on my tablet and while it's not as funny now as it was when I first started watching it, it's still good for a grin now 'n then.
My favorite part is the theme song; this one is done by Billy Jo Shaver and is, IMHO, the best of all the renditions. The lyrics match how I feel much of the time these days.
While I'm WAY behind on writing reviews, it's given me an idea for an easier topic/label to start doing: Theme Songs.
I used to watch Squidbillies when I had cable, then thought the show had been cancelled, so I was surprised to see the newest episodes online. I've been d/l them to watch on my tablet and while it's not as funny now as it was when I first started watching it, it's still good for a grin now 'n then.
My favorite part is the theme song; this one is done by Billy Jo Shaver and is, IMHO, the best of all the renditions. The lyrics match how I feel much of the time these days.
While I'm WAY behind on writing reviews, it's given me an idea for an easier topic/label to start doing: Theme Songs.
July 15, 2016
The Big Hurt
I was looking for a specific bit of baseball trivia and a Google search lead me to Sports on Earth, but the link didn't work and I got this instead:
(click pic for larger view)
I DID manage to find an answer to my question. Tom Glavin.
(click pic for larger view)
I DID manage to find an answer to my question. Tom Glavin.
July 11, 2016
July 1, 2016
Sharknado 4
Sharknado 4: The 4th Awakens is set to open at the end of this month.
I'm thinkin' it's GOTTA be good.
Why do I think that, you ask?
It has Gary Busey in it, that's why.
I'm thinkin' it's GOTTA be good.
Why do I think that, you ask?
It has Gary Busey in it, that's why.
Jewish Drivers
I was just visiting a forum I frequent and while the purpose of the site is about lotteries and not cars, threads often get side-tracked. (OFTEN: just last night I was reading a thread in a Cowboys forum and for some reason the discussion turned to Free Will. Good Grief)
The topic was "What would be the first thing you'd buy after winning the lottery?" and when one member said he'd replace his old pickup that has 469,000 miles on it, some one asked him how he had managed that and after that, the thread was hijacked.
I didn't include all of the truck's various mechanical problems in the screen shot of the reply, but it was a typo/misspelling that made me laugh.
The topic was "What would be the first thing you'd buy after winning the lottery?" and when one member said he'd replace his old pickup that has 469,000 miles on it, some one asked him how he had managed that and after that, the thread was hijacked.
I didn't include all of the truck's various mechanical problems in the screen shot of the reply, but it was a typo/misspelling that made me laugh.
I've never known Jewish drivers to be all that reckless or hard on vehicles, but if you say so....
June 5, 2016
The McFarthest Spot
What's so special about this place in S. Dakota?
According to Atlas Obscura, it is the McFarthest Spot -the farthest you can be in the continental US from a McDonald's location.
According to Atlas Obscura, it is the McFarthest Spot -the farthest you can be in the continental US from a McDonald's location.
From the website:
Geographically speaking, in the lower 48 United States it is impossible to get farther away from a McDonald's restaurant than this location in South Dakota. From the McFarthest Spot it would take 145 miles driving (only 120 miles as the crow flies) before a visitor could devour their next two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.
June 1, 2016
Bottoms Up!
From the 
archives:
A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
9. "Hey, now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there?"
archives:A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before!"
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"
5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."
7. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
9. "Hey, now I know how a Muppet feels!"
10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"
11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"
And the best one of them all...
13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there?"
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