March 22, 2009
March 21, 2009
diatribe
diatribe \DAHY-uh-trahyb\, noun:
a bitter verbal attack or speech
I see diatribes all over the 'net these days; oh, I've seen them before, but not nearly as much as now. They're not verbal (unless they're on YouTube) but I think the term still applies to these posted rants.
I don't join in on them much these days...blood pressure, you see.
Easter Bunny Letters
Free letter from the Easter Bunny
Fill out the form, personalizing it with your child's name and other information and you'll receive a letter you can print out.
Here's a sample I made for myself:
Dear Mike,
Hi, and Happy Easter! Things are very busy here in our village. Some of the younger rabbits just finished learning how to decorate eggs. The hens are laying extra eggs so that we will have enough for everyone who has been good. As far as the candy makers, they are all working overtime! Soon, I will be ready to hop over to Pampa!
Are you getting ready to celebrate Easter? Are you friends ready to celebrate, too? I'll bet you are really looking forward to finding all the treats I leave. I see that you would like chocolate Easter bunnies. I will try my best to bring some, along with a basket of goodies for you and the rest of your family.
I love this time of year, because Spring is here! Soon the flowers will start to grow, baby animals will be born, and the weather will be just right for an Easter Egg Hunt. Do you like Easter Egg Hunts? I bet that you find lots of eggs this year, because the chickens are really working hard!
Well, I better go for now. The hens are making a lot of noise and I have to see who is bothering them. Remember to be extra good for BJ Katt, because I have to hop right past houses that have naughty children! I hope your house is one of those that stays on my list. Have a Hoppy Easter!!
Love,
The Easter Bunny
P.S. Don't forget to leave me a carrot or some lettuce--I can get very hungry making my rounds!!
Especially the 7th Inning Stretch
You Are Baseball Games |
 You like old fashioned things. You're one of those people who values tradition. You enjoy a slow pace of life. You believe that life is all about enjoying every moment. You love the changing of the seasons, and you look forward to what each season brings. You are smart and a bit obsessive. You become very immersed in your interests. |
March 20, 2009
florid
florid \FLOR-id\, adjective:
1. Flushed with red; of a lively reddish color.
2. Excessively ornate; flowery; as, "a florid style; florid eloquence."
Other than there being a few items posted that might make someone blush or my "flowery" overuse of adjectives most of the time, this word doesn't describe this blog at all.
It's very seldom red.
March 19, 2009
I Am Today
You Are Thursday |
 Like this day of the week, you are ruled by Jupiter. More than anything, you are generous. You are an extravagant person, but you also like to spread your wealth around. You love to give. But more importantly, you love to be adored for your big-heartedness. Though many people may see Thursday as “nothing special” - you are very special. You're so special that you can't help but be a little conceited! |
Doggie Devours Dough
NC woman hopes to cash in after dog's deposit
APEX, N.C. (AP) - A North Carolina family's dog didn't eat the children's homework, he ate mom's money. Kelley Davis said she had an extra $400 in cash to deposit after working extra hours as a physical therapist. She told the News & Observer of Raleigh that on Friday she planned to deposit the money, but it wasn't in her pocket.
She remembered leaving it in the bedroom and it occurred to her that the family's 2-year-old greater Swiss mountain dog, Augie, might have eaten it.
Davis, 42, said when she took Augie for a walk Saturday, she found parts of three $100 bills and five $20s in his leavings. She washed them with a garden hose and hopes to find enough pieces to exchange them for cash.
A professor at the North Carolina State University Veterinary School said the money shouldn't hurt the dog.
I was torn between the headline I used or:
"Canine Craps Cash"
Gives a whole new meaning to "money laundering", doesn't it?
The 10 Most Disgusting Delicacies
From the website
“Think” Fear Factor and Iron Chef combined and you have THE potentially most disgusting buffet of expertly prepared food delicacies on the planet. The world is truly a diverse place especially when you launch a gustatory exploration of what have become curious ick-factor foods for a modernized, watered-down, American palate. Truth is as “foreign” as most of these dishes can be, many have deep cultural underpinnings, some of them the side dishes of famous feasts and the tables of kings.
All the vital organs of just about any species have been consumed at one time or another and some of them are rich in the best dietary nutrients. Amazonian ants, half-cooked fetal eggs, wriggly worms of all kinds and stages of life, hoofs, beaks, ears, and eyeballs have all been efficiently put to good culinary use. Prep methods are just as enticing: fermenting, pickling, infusing, boiling, blowtorching, decomposing, and simply served live and wriggling.
Culinary Thrill-Seeking for Some, Time-Honored Traditions for Others
If you’re a gag-seeker, foodie adventurer, or looking for some tantalizing new ethnic dish to serve to guests that goes well beyond the ordinary dinner party fare, here are some of the notoriously “I hope I’m never served…” foods, and how they’re prepared, from around the globe.
The 10 Most Disgusting Delicacies to Try Before You Die - Would You Eat These?
March 18, 2009
Freaky Favicon
Quite a few hits on this blog come from image searches, such as the following:
Sometimes it's easy to see...as above...what the post was, but sometimes the Feedjit widget just shows someone came to this site from the Google image search. The result sometimes does not show what they were looking for and I have to click on the link in the frame from the Google image search to see what graphic they were wanting to see.
I noticed something unusual the other day when I clicked on the link; usually the favicon (the tiny image in front of the URL in the address window) will show the Picassa favicon:
But the following photo had a favicon that was the photo!
This is going to bother me until I figure it out.
I'm thinking of adding a favicon to this blog, BTW, but most images are not very clear when reduced to 16x16.
Cowboy's Ten Commandments
Posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas.
(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.
Fallen Angels
Maybe it's the angels that HAVEN'T noticed me I should be worried about catching their eye.
The only earthly angels that have noticed me lately are the fallen kind. (the Russian ones that show up in my spam folder... the angels that have an angle)
Earth Angel - The Temptations
March 17, 2009
libation
libation \ly-BAY-shun\, noun:
1. The act of pouring a liquid (usually wine) either on the ground or on a victim in sacrifice to some deity; also, the wine or liquid thus poured out.
2. A beverage, especially an alcoholic beverage.
3. An act or instance of drinking.
What an appropriate word for St. Patrick's Day!
You Might Be a Leprechaun
You might be a leprechaun if:
You snicker uncontrollably all the way through "Darby O'Gill And The Little People."
Your record collection is stocked only with very short artists, Paula Abdul, Sheena Easton, Prince, Phil Collins.
When you see a rainbow, you get a greedy little look in your eye. (Arrrr, there's me pot o' gold!)
In your cupboard there is nothing but Lucky Charms cereal.
Every time you get your paycheck, you convert it into gold coins and bury it somewhere.
You insist on dancing a jig on your way to work each morning to the embarrassment of all your friends.
You've been under a rock for the past few years.
You just despise fairies. ("Wing Envy" if you ask me!)
You try to pick up women by saying "Ah, lassie, you have dazzling kneecaps, you do."
When you eat good food, you say it is "magically delicious".
And the number one way you can tell you might be a Leprechaun:
You're three feet tall, Irish, have red hair, cuss, drink and wear green a lot!
Happy St. Patrick's Day! 
March 16, 2009
Felicity & Felines
Happiness is like a cat. If you try to coax it or call it, it will avoid you. It will never come. But if you pay no attention to it and go about your business, you'll find it rubbing up against your legs and jumping into your lap.
- William Bennett
I Am Stuporman!
You Would Be a Upstanding Superhero |
 You are alert and observant. You can see through people easily. You know who's evil and who's good. You need a lot of freedom in your life. You like to do your own thing, and you don't fit into any normal mold. You understand people quite well and often know what others are thinking. Because of this, you can get people to do what you want. You tend to feel apart from the rest of the world. You don't really fit in, and you don't try to! You are a true intellectual. You are thirsty for knowledge, and you are curious about the world. |
I hope I wouldn't have breasts like the superhero pictured above.
Can I Call You Nasty?
Hello!
I hope that I'm not mistaken and found a man who is really looking for serious relations. I would like to know more about you.
I'm looking for serious long relations, and may be create the family in the future. I want to tell you more about me. My name is Anastasiya but my friends call me Nastya, you can also call me in such a way.
I was born and I live in Russia,in Kazan city. I'm 27 years old. I live alone, and I don't have parents. My aunt brought me up from 12 years. I am lonely, never was married and I have no children. But I want when be to have them, with the loved person. (I'm romantic girl))I did not have any relations with the man for already 3 years.
I think that could be good friendship in the beginning, and we will see how it will result us. What do you think about it?
I also send you my photo.I wait for your letter and a photo soon!
please, write me on my personal email: vsesuperpuper@gmail.com
Have a good day!
I wait for your answer!
Nastya.
Dear Nasty,
I hope I can call you that; you said in "such a way", and that's the way I'd like to think of you.
Wow, no parents? Are you an orphan or did you hatch from some Russky cold war experiment? My dad used to tell me he peed on a cow patty and the next day he kicked it over and there I was.
Three years? Really? It's been longer than that for me, but I ain't braggin' about it.
By any chance was your aunt's title "Madam"?
I think I'll pass, even though you're prettier than most of the girls that write me. To be honest with you, I'm not fond of mass mailing marriages.
I really just wanted to post this so the spambots will pick up "your" address and the one from the jerk who really sent it.
denslowe@metatech.com.sg
Always,
Mike
March 15, 2009
My First LOL
The first time I literally laughed out loud after I got on the 'net was when I read this:
To be is to do- Socrates
To do is to be- Sartre
Do be do be do- Sinatra
Cursebird
From the website:
Cursebird is the real-time feed of people swearing on Twitter.
Several months ago I was chatting with an online "former friend" and was encouraged to join Twitter . He was offended when I told him "Thanks, but no thanks" mainly because of the language and that it seems to be for the "younger crowd" and that I didn't care for the immature posters and inane posts. He closed the chat window but not before he had cursed at me and said I was a "behind-the-times old &*^%#*&!". I bet he leads the Cursebird League if he's that thin-skinned and foul-mouthed. He's certainly one of those I was talking about, the "Twits who Twitter".
Sure, I've been known to have a potty-mouth at times, but it's almost always to accentuate my point or to show someone just how angry I am. I'm with the general consensus that excessive swearing is a sign of a limited vocabulary.
DO NOT GO TO THE SITE if you're offended by rude language!!!
I've got some cursing parrot jokes, but will leave them out.
March 14, 2009
esoteric
From this blog's Word of the Day feed:
esoteric \es-uh-TER-ik\, adjective:
1. understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge or interest; recondite
2. belonging to the select few
3. private; secret; confidential
4. (of a philosophical doctrine or the like) intended to be revealed only to the initiates of a group
For better or worse, that pretty much describes this blog.
Feathered Fried Fortune
This fortune is funny on several levels. I eat chicken several times a week and in fact, had it yesterday for lunch AND supper. There's a few pieces left over, so I'll probably have it again for my late lunch today.
Maybe this fortune is warning me that if I eat much more chicken I'll start sprouting pinfeathers.
It's certainly not fortunate to be a chicken when I'm around.
Ride the Chicken Train
Senior Citizen Humor
From the email archives:
Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said,
'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a dumbass. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus. We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.
March 13, 2009
4,550,285
That's this blog's ranking on Alexa.
That's the bad news.
The good news?
It was five million and sumpthin' a year ago.
At this rate, we'll be #1 in about ten years.
EDIT: Just checked and we've dropped to 4,787,069. At that rate, this blog will be in ten millionth place in ten years.
Funny False Fortune For a Fool
This isn't true; I'm not interested in public service, nor would I would make an outstanding statesman.
OTOH, I'd make a better president than the one we have now...or the last several, for that matter.
I'm still not sayin' I'd make an outstanding statesman, I'm just sayin'.
Andy Thomas
Please visit AndyThomas.com to see some fantastic paintings; he specializes in western art, but also has political and civil war art as well.
I'm particularly enamored of his two paintings of past presidents playing poker, both with convention bunting in the background: the True Blues with Democrat presidents such as JFK, FDR, LBJ and even Clinton. His Grand Old Gang painting features Republican presidents Reagan, Bush I and II, Lincoln and even Nixon.
I had seen the Grand Old Gang painting in a forum with the caption "And I told Obama: 'Sir, I know Abe Lincoln and you are no Abe Lincoln!"
The artist was on the Lars Larson radio show tonight and Mr. Larson commented that the original Grand Old Gang painting has been sold, but he noticed the True Blues had not. Mr. Thomas glibly replied that Democrats "normally don't spend money."
March 12, 2009
Emma? Sona? Sybil?
Hello. Please do not be surprised this message is not spam mailing.
You probably will be very surprised that I write you a letter. But yesterday, I was surprised, too, when my e-mail address, came a letter, which said about love, about the feelings among people. The main motto of this letter was the phrase «Looking for love and you will be happy». I liked the letter.
In the list of e-mail address, I saw your e-mail and decided to write to you. Perhaps you are looking for love? Maybe this letter - the fate? I do not know how the man who sent me the letter, hear my personal e-mail. But I think it is not important. The most important thing is that now I can write you a letter.
You know, I want you to learn more. But first, I want to tell a little about me. My name is Sona. I'm from Armenia. I am 27 years old. I have never been married and have no children. I am pretty, quiet, kind and sociable girl. I would be interested to talk with you and know you closer. I compose their communication with the primary objective - creating serious relationships. Relations without deception, without any games. I want to find this man who can love and respect me. I hope that you just want to find their love?
I believe in romantic relationships, appearance and age is not the most important thing. The most important thing is that people know how to love and respect on this! I have different hobbies and interests, among them -sports, cooking, reading, music. Of particular interest to me a matter of housekeeping, cleaning the house. I like to experiment in the kitchen. I love animals. I am leading a healthy lifestyle. I do not smoke nor drink alcohol.
My new friend, can you tell me about you? I want you to learn more. The following letters, I will tell you about me, in more detail.
Please reply only to my personal e-mail: emma6mura@gmail.com
Of course, I will send you a lot of my photos, of whom you know my life. In my photo showing all the moments of my life - joy, muse, and even in some sad moments. I eagerly await your response will be. I really want you to learn more. Please do not forget about me.
Your new friend,
Emma.
Dear Emma...or Sona,
I never sent you an email, but I appreciate yours because it allows me to post the email addy and the one from which it was sent.
Funny thing about these mails; they're nearly all the same. All of you women are around 27 years old and are pretty (and some of you flatter yourselves) and love to do housework.
If you saw my house you'd change your tune, lemme tell ya.
Now, if your daddy owns a liquor store, you'll get my interest.
I try to poke fun at these mails, but they're so identical I'm having problems finding new things to ridicule. Actually, I post them as an excuse to put the email addresses on the 'net in hope the spambots will nab 'em and deluge your inbox just as they do mine.
"You want me to learn more."??? Sorry dear heart, ya can't teach an old dog new tricks and this particular old dog is wise to yours.
Always,
Mike
P.S. The "Sybil" reference might've gone over your head, sorry.
Here's your pimp's address: a-hansen@acecomnet.com
OTOH, if you can dance like THIS, then I might be interested:
Water You?
You Are an Ocean |
 You are impressive and fascinating. People are drawn to your glory. You are a profound and passionate person. You are boundless in your power. You have a philosophical and poetic soul. You take a lot of time to reflect. You are mysterious and captivating. You are too deep for anyone to figure out. |
I think I'm more like a mud puddle.
Stopwatch
Stopwatch for websites
From the website:
Would you like to know how long it takes to load a webpage? This program will measure the time for you. Enter the URL to be measured and watch the top of the window.
I checked this blog just now and got a bit over 5 1/2 seconds.
However, I cleared the cache and it took a "lot" longer:
I say a "lot" because I've read most people won't wait much more than seven seconds for a site to load. (I'm one of those impatient people) I had the time down to around four seconds because got rid of some of the hosted feeds/stickies in the right-hand column ...but I've added more since, so that's the reason for the higher times.
I'd put in a poll asking folks what modules they think I should delete, but that would just drive up the load time, so....
March 11, 2009
Fortunate Son - Creedence Clearwater Revival
This is a bump.
I subscribe to a great website TopTenz and today they had a Top 10 Protest Songs of the 1960's. I didn't disagree with many on the list, but think they should've included this vid.
Fantastic video to go along with the tune
Hope
Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.
- Anonymous
That anonymous guy sure has a lotta quotes, doesn't he?
The Stars Get the Moon
I understand this is supposed to be some profound statement, something to the effect that the moon affects all of us here on God's Green Earth, that it's a symbol of romance or the like, but the first thing I thought of was how it applies to Hollywood.
In that context, it's certainly true. Here's to you, Hollywood, you bunch of leftist, America-hating, self-righteous azzwipes. (Penn, Sarandon, Baldwin, et al, ad nauseam)
Orange You Glad?
I put these silly quizzes in?
You Are an Orange |
 You have a zest for life, especially for anything colorful, wild, or dramatic. You have a unique take on the world, and you're not afraid to be a little funky. You are a bit reserved toward people who don't know you well. You have a thick skin, which can protect you from anything that goes wrong in your life. Once someone does get to know you, they totally get and appreciate you. Your friends see you as a bright person with a refreshing take on life. |
Trying Their Best
To bypass the spam filters:
I can think of several jokes about the subject line and how it's spelled, but none are appropriate for this semi-G-rated blog.
March 10, 2009
Great Amazon Deals
Was browsing through Amazon last night and saw there were some kitchen deals; I've been wanting an ice cream machine (even though I shouldn't eat ice cream) and have been wanting a nice mixer. I clicked on the "kitchen and dining" tab to peruse the bargains.
You'll need to click the pic to view the screenshot clearly...
...but I bet you'll be as puzzled as I was trying to figure out why a doggie comb and flea treatment would be classified under "kitchen and dining".
I mean, I've seen 'em at a table, but...
