To Google that for ya.
Want to make your own? Go to imgtfy.com
April 18, 2009
Conficker Eye Chart
Check to see if your computer has been infected with the conflicker virus using graphics linked to security websites (AT the website; these are only examples)
From the website:
Conficker (aka Downadup, Kido) is known to block access to over 100 anti-virus and security websites.
If you are blocked from loading the remote images in the first row of the top table above (AV/security sites) but not blocked from loading the remote images in the second row (websites of alternative operating systems) then your Windows PC may be infected by Conficker (or some other malicious software).
If you can see all six images in both rows of the top table, you are either not infected by Conficker, or you may be using a proxy server, in which case you will not be able to use this test to make an accurate determination, since Conficker will be unable to block you from viewing the AV/security sites.
April 17, 2009
Spamkämpfer
Over the last few weeks I've noticed several hits on my spam posts from a German anti-spam website. Every time I would try to see what they were saying (as if I could speak German) I was denied access. Got in last night, though.
There were no comments in the thread about what I had written that I could see. Just a mention of this blog. Not even a "stummer esel"
"zum seitenanfang" means "Back to the top of the page", I think.
"stummer esel" means ME, of course.
April 16, 2009
April 15, 2009
Strange Question #1
This is the first of a new category/label "Strange Questions"
A lady read a book, turned the light out and went to sleep. In the morning, when she saw in the newspaper that a ship had sunk drowning all on board, she committed suicide. Why?
The answer will be in the comments section, so no peeking until you're ready to verify your answer or give up!
What Happened?
From the 
archives:
What Happened?
At first I thought this was funny...
then I realized the awful truth of it.
Be sure to read all the way to the end!
Tax his land, Tax his bed, Tax the table at which he's fed.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule, Teach him taxes are the rule.
Tax his cow, Tax his goat, Tax his pants, Tax his coat.
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt, Tax his work, Tax his dirt.
Tax his tobacco, Tax his drink, Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his cigars, Tax his beers, If he cries, then Tax his tears.
Tax his car, Tax his gas, find other ways to tax his ass
Tax all he has then let him know that you won't be done till he has no dough.
When he screams and hollers, then tax him some more, tax him till he's good and sore.
Then tax his coffin, Tax his grave, Tax the sod in Which he's laid.
Put these words upon his tomb, "Taxes drove me to my doom..."
When he's gone, do not relax, it's time to apply the inheritance tax.
Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Dog License Tax
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax,
Fuel permit tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Interest expense
Inventory tax IRS
Interest Charges
IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License
Tax Medicare
Tax Property
Tax Real Estate
Tax Service charge taxes
Social Security Tax
Road usage taxes
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)
Telephone federal excise tax
Telephone federal universal service fee tax
Telephone federal, state and local surcharge taxes
Telephone minimum usage surcharge tax
Telephone recurring and non-recurring charges tax
Telephone state and local tax
Telephone usage charge tax Utility
Taxes Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft registration Tax
Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax
And many, many more.
COMMENTS: Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.
We had absolutely no national debt, had the largest middle class in the world, and Mom stayed home to raise the kids.
What happened?
And I still have to "press 1" for English
I hope this goes around world 10 times
No Pix to Nix
There aren't too many photos of me "out there" that I'd be ashamed of letting anyone see.
This is just about the most scandalous one I have ever have had taken of me.
Earth at Night
See the Earth at night from space at NightEarth.com
Compared to other places, the Texas Panhandle is still a sparsely lit area.
Pampa designated by red marker.
A Masterpiece
You Are a Painting |
 You are a passionate person. You see the emotional undertones that others miss. Compared to other people, you are sentimental. You allow yourself to feel everything. Believe that art should capture the beauty and mood of a moment. The best art speaks to your heart. It makes you smile, dream, or even cry. |
I sometimes feel like a painting
Hanging crooked upon a wall
And people keep adjusting me
To make sure that I don't fall.
To some, I'm a colorful masterpiece
Others see shades of gray
My friends are those who stop and look
The rest just walk away.
I may not be a masterpiece
Hanging in a golden frame
I might not be a Rembrandt
But I'm an original, all the same!
April 14, 2009
England is Getting Shorter!
Don't know why that comes up that way; the length is referring to an old US ship, the USS England (named after a man, not the country)
At that rate, there will not be room but for a couple of soccer fields!
Oh No!
MSN Groups are trying to haunt my blog!
Not for sure what caused it; it might have been because I visited an old Hotmail account and the icons in my Bookmarks got mixed up, but this blog was the only one affected.
It later went away, thank goodness.
Dueling Banjos
From the movie "Deliverance"
Please note: There's some offensive language at the end of the video.
Jesus Weeps
And so should we all.
Usually, I try to add some commentary or background information along with my photos.
These do not need it. Words will not, cannot do them justice.
This is a case where a picture is indeed better than a thousand words....but a thousand tears are not enough.
At The Cross of Our Lord, Groom, Texas.
Usually, I try to add some commentary or background information along with my photos.
These do not need it. Words will not, cannot do them justice.
This is a case where a picture is indeed better than a thousand words....but a thousand tears are not enough.
At The Cross of Our Lord, Groom, Texas.
April 13, 2009
No One Needs to Know - Shania Twain
A bump from nearly two years ago, just in time for tornado season.
Yuliya Coughalot
Greetings!
My name is Yuliya! I am 29 years old. I addressed in agency acquaintances. When I have specified, how I search for type of the man. Me have told to approach in 1 week. When I have again come to agency of acquaintances, to me have told yours email adress. I am a teacher and i like my work very much. I work with children and Now I have an opportunity to write to you I am an interesting, beautiful, kind and single young lady. I want to find my love, my half and want to marry him. I have started to look on the Internet because my girlfriend has found the husband in the Internet and consequently I also hope, that to a smog to have a happy family in the future. I am looking for a man who will fall in love with me and I will fall in love with him. I have never been married but I dream about it. I am fond of children and I dream about a happy family with the beloved man. I am interested in music, cooking, reading, travelling and others. I know English very good and can easily speak!!
If you are interested or have any questions in me please write me only to my personal e-mail: yulkapulka090@yahoo.com
Please write me and I will send you my photos.
I wait for your letter very much.
Yuliya.
Dear Yulia,
If you want "to a smog to have a happy family in the future", then I'd suggest writing to someone in Los Angeles. We have a lot of bad things here in the Texas Panhandle...rattlesnakes, tornadoes and more than our fair share of liberals, but the last thing you'll find here is smog. Oh, there might be some smog in places, such as around chemical plants and refineries, but, thanks to the wind and depending upon which way it's blowing, in a day or two the pollution will be in either New Mexico or Oklahoma.
You'd do well in California, especially in Hollywood, as all you will need is a big showing of skin and a pretty face: no talent required. Oh yeah, if you DO decide to write me again, send some pics with more skin showing.
Writing to me, if you don't mind me saying so, is barking up the wrong tree.
(such as the one you're in)
Sincerely,
Mike
P.S. Here's your "real" address: mervye@serialsys.com.sg
April 12, 2009
I Put My Trust
In these daily fortunes.
When I was a kid, it was "Don't trust anyone over 30."
Now that I'm over 30 (just by a little bit) I don't trust anyone under 30 OR over 30.
Heck, I don't even trust myself.
pulchritude
pulchritude \PUL-kruh-tood; -tyood\, noun:
That quality of appearance which pleases the eye; beauty; comeliness; grace; loveliness.
A nice meaning for such an ugly sounding word, huh?
April 11, 2009
Half the Questions Correct
For a half-assed blog
Well, You Know What a Blog Is... |
 You got 4/8 correct! But, truthfully, most blogs probably bore you. |
I don't know much about blogging, I will admit. Anyone who visits this pathetic excuse for one knows that.
April 10, 2009
Fourth Grade Fortune
OK, I did, and I'll tell you about a little bit of it.
It was a bad year; I was rushing into puberty head-over-heels and was embarrassed by the tendrils of hair popping up under my arms and down around....well, you get the idea. I was getting hair in places that even some of the fifth graders weren't, plus my voice was cracking up and down an octave every time I got excited and tried to talk...and it didn't help being teased about it by those same underdeveloped fifth graders. The bastards.
I also remember that the fourth grade was the worst I ever did in school. Like the rest of the boys, I sat in the back row and thanks to my body changing, particularly my eyes, I couldn't see the blackboard. My folks, particularly my dad, were annoyed because I was bringing home such poor grades. The only thing I wanted to do was read books and that was because that was one of the few things I COULD do. Dad took me out in the garage and decided a good whoopin' was what I needed. At least I couldn't see the 1x4 he picked up after he told me to bend over. The ass-blistering I got didn't hurt nearly as bad as his edict that I couldn't read anything other than my text books until my grades came back up.
It was nearly the end of the school year anyway, and somehow I managed to pass. The "spanking" motivated me, for sure, but I still resent it. (he should've noticed the wrinkles around my eyes from squinting, I think) I also saved up what little money I could scrounge, bought a flashlight and read books under the covers late at night. The next year I got glasses and my grades shot back up.
Another thing I remember about that year was one of those fifth grade boys asking me a math question: "What is 8 x 8?" I came back with the correct answer "64", pleased with myself that I had passed the test...until the boy said "Nope, that's wrong!"
I just stood there staring until he waited for a few seconds and announced:
"It's 65. It's a leap year!"
I ran into the guy's mother a few years back and told her that story; she got a laugh out of it. I didn't bring up my getting hairy that year, though.
It was also the year of my first girlfriend. Reckon my entrance into puberty had anything to do with that? I'm sure my cracking voice and emerging zits didn't attract her. Maybe she noticed the hair in my armpits.
Huh?
This just came in my email inbox:
Dear Groups User,
Your MSN Group, One-Trick Pony, has had no activity in the last 90 days. As a convenience to our users, we periodically delete groups that have become dormant. We hope you'll consider coming back. It's not too late!
If your group remains inactive for another 14 days, we'll go ahead and delete it. If you would like to keep your group, simply click on the link below and follow the instructions on the web page.
We hope your group is back in action soon,
If you'll click on any of the links in the above mail, you'll see why I say "Huh?"
The Bathtub Test
From the email archives
During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the director "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?"
"Well," said the director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug."
"Do you want a bed near the window?"
ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE??
April 9, 2009
The Nose Knows
What Your Nose Says About You |
 You are a nosey person and a bit of a snoop. You can't help but be curious! You are a realist. You aren't much of an optimist or a pessimist. |
April 8, 2009
Flatulent Fighter Faces Felony
Man accused of Waco stabbing in flatulence fight
WACO, Texas (AP) - Waco police say a fight over flatulence left one man stabbed and another facing an assault charge.
A statement Wednesday says police were called to a motel where several men from the Houston area were sharing a room.
Police say 35-year-old Juan Antonio Salano Castellano allegedly passed gas in the room Tuesday night.
Police say one of the other men became upset, picked up a knife and threw it at Castellano, who was cut in the leg. The suspect is accused of then stabbing Catellano in the chest.
Castellano was transported to Hillcrest Baptist Medical Center, where police say he was treated for non-life threatening wounds.
The alleged attacker was arrested and faces an aggravated assault charge.
Careful With the Tweezers, Katya
Hello My Friend! I hope you can this message without effort - and I will hope very much that I have executed all truly and you can read my message which I direct to you for the purpose of our personal acquaintance,
My name is Katya i'am 28 years old and now I very much would like to get acquainted with the Worthy and decent man for creation of a good fellowship, your personal email I have received by means from one of marriage agensy of my city and now I can hope only that it will be interesting to you and i hope that we can continue our dialogue and in this case I with impatience will look forward to hearing from you...
Please reply only to my personal e-mail: krisakatyshka@yahoo.com
Yours faithfully - your New Friend... Katya.
Dear Katya,
You're not a "real" blonde, are you? I'm just wonderin' why you're trying to act like one.
The only thing darker than your roots is your heart, I'm thinkin'.
Sincerely,
Mike
P.S. Here's an address for your "agensy"
telequest.mintz@attglobal.ne
P.P.S. A helpful hint: It's not good to be drunk when you're pluckin' yer eyebrows.
Fifty Bucks
$50
Check yours?
Check yours?
Hmmm, at first it was worth nothin'
Then it was worth $564
I should've sold out when I had the chance.
OTOH, I've been accused of selling out anyway, so....
UPDATE: Just checked this blog with the ValueMyWeb site (second link)
All is not lost; this blog has increased in value on that site by six bucks!
$570
April 7, 2009
nescience
nescience \NESH-uhn(t)s; NESH-ee-uhn(t)s\, noun:
Lack of knowledge or awareness; ignorance.
I think Dictionary.com is putting these words up just because they've come to this blog after seeing that I link to them.
Oh well, can't blame 'em when they describe it so well.
Old Farmer's Wisdom
From the email archives:
* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.
* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.
* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
* You cannot unsay a cruel word.
* Every path has a few puddles.
* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
* The best sermons are lived, not preached.
* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.
* Don't judge folks by their relatives.
* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.
* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.
* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.
* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.
* Always drink upstream from the herd.
* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.
* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.
Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Will Rogers Never Met Me
A fool and his money are soon elected.
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else.
Wiki on Will Rogers
Buzz Off Eva
Hi! My name is Eva.
I am a girl from Russia and want to find friend in USA. If you are interested in our acquaintence, please, write me on my e-mail address: preety1girla@googlemail.com I will tell you more about me and my life. I think you won’t be dissapointed because I am very cheerful and try to enjoy the life. I also like to get new friends and share my thought and ideas with them. I have many friends here in Russia. But I don’t have any friend abroad yet. I think it is just the time to get new experience. I hope you won’t deny such a sweet lady to become her friend. Sweet and warm kiss from Russia. I am looking forward to hearing from you soon. Eva
Dear Eva,
I'm sorry, but I don't like these letters without photos. I won't even make fun of yours and am only publishing it as so to make your email address available for the spambots.
Regards,
Mike
P.S. Here's the email it really came from: upsappy@maildropdirect.com
UPDATE: Got another letter from Eva, but this one is from a different spammer.
(surprise, surprise!)
igsatiric@domainsatretail.com
Two more identical ones while I slept
nlmainland@enexes.com
cscyanamid@lanset.com
Mint For Me
You Are Mint |
 You are a honest person with a strong personality. Your frank point of view is refreshing. You've been quite lucky in your life, though you have made more of your own luck than you realize. You are engaging and disarming. You definitely have the "gift of gab!" You live an edgy, dynamic life. Sometimes you get a little burned, but you always bounce back. |
You Were
April 6, 2009
Free Music From Barenaked Ladies
Courtesy of Ben and Jerry's
It says "Select One" but all three can be d/l.
I prefer "Wind it Up" out of the three.
BNL website
Morph Thing
Morph images of famous people together at MorphThing.com; register and you can upload your own images to morph.
This thing is addictive and the possibilities are endless. Some of the best combinations had already been done, such as Obama and Hitler:
Quite the contrast: George Bush and Einstein:
I was getting tired of doing political figures, thinking I might do some celebrities, then thought to bridge the two when I saw them next to each other on the "A" page:
Al Gore and Al Pacino
How 'bout Madonna and Mao Zedong
For some reason, I thought Jay Leno and Stalin might be funny.
I was right.
Then on the "O" page, I saw these two together, Osama Bin Laden and Oprah:
It got me to wondering what celebs kids would look like.
If Nicole Kidman and Tom Cruise had had a child together:
Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thorton's child:
I think while I was growing up I saw every Elvis movie ever made. After watching Viva Las Vegas, I fell madly in love with Ann Margaret. Here's what their kid would look like:
Wait, I think Elvis DID have a child that looks like that, didn't he? He must've had some dominant genes.
I started to get some silly and surreal ideas:
Marilyn Monroe and Marilyn Manson
I decided I'd best quit when I thought of this one:
Chewbacca and Vivian Leigh
MorphThing.com
April 5, 2009
She's Just My Style-Gary Lewis & The Playboys
EDIT: Had to put in another vid as the original one I posted was taken down by YouTube.
If THIS one goes down, I'm sorry.
(sorry that the publishing companies are so anal retentive)
grandiloquent
grandiloquent \gran-DIL-uh-kwuhnt\, adjective:
Lofty in style; pompous; bombastic.
There's nothing bombastic about this blog, nor could it be described as pompous because there's nothing lofty about its style.
It has no style at all.
April 4, 2009
This is why....
We in the Panhandle have a nasal twang...it's all the dust in the air.
Dust Storm Warning in Texas Panhandle
This is the radar return; the amount of precipitation is signified by progressive shades of green/yellow/orange/red/yellow, etc., but the dust shows up as earth tones.
How apt.
Here's the wind velocity; the green is wind going towards the radar (Amarillo) and the red is the wind going away.
The different shades of color signifies the kts or knots per hour. (1 knot = 1.15 mph) The shade of red where Pampa is equates to around 50 knots, or right around 58 mph.
Amarillo radar (composite view/loop)
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