Welcome to ToTG!



April 12, 2009

I Put My Trust

In these daily fortunes.

Trust no one fortune

When I was a kid, it was "Don't trust anyone over 30."

Now that I'm over 30 (just by a little bit) I don't trust anyone under 30 OR over 30.

Heck, I don't even trust myself.

pulchritude

pulchritude \PUL-kruh-tood; -tyood\, noun:
That quality of appearance which pleases the eye; beauty; comeliness; grace; loveliness.



A nice meaning for such an ugly sounding word, huh?

April 11, 2009

Cannibal Quiz

What would your body taste like to a cannibal?

What would you taste like to a cannibal?

Created by Recipe Star

Half the Questions Correct

For a half-assed blog




Well, You Know What a Blog Is...



You got 4/8 correct!

But, truthfully, most blogs probably bore you.



I don't know much about blogging, I will admit. Anyone who visits this pathetic excuse for one knows that.

April 10, 2009

frisson

frisson \free-SOHN\, noun:
A moment of intense excitement; a shudder; an emotional thrill.



Like being so scared it made your hair stand up on end?

"Man, that scared me so bad I got my frisson!"

Fourth Grade Fortune



OK, I did, and I'll tell you about a little bit of it.

It was a bad year; I was rushing into puberty head-over-heels and was embarrassed by the tendrils of hair popping up under my arms and down around....well, you get the idea. I was getting hair in places that even some of the fifth graders weren't, plus my voice was cracking up and down an octave every time I got excited and tried to talk...and it didn't help being teased about it by those same underdeveloped fifth graders. The bastards.

I also remember that the fourth grade was the worst I ever did in school. Like the rest of the boys, I sat in the back row and thanks to my body changing, particularly my eyes, I couldn't see the blackboard. My folks, particularly my dad, were annoyed because I was bringing home such poor grades. The only thing I wanted to do was read books and that was because that was one of the few things I COULD do. Dad took me out in the garage and decided a good whoopin' was what I needed. At least I couldn't see the 1x4 he picked up after he told me to bend over. The ass-blistering I got didn't hurt nearly as bad as his edict that I couldn't read anything other than my text books until my grades came back up.

It was nearly the end of the school year anyway, and somehow I managed to pass. The "spanking" motivated me, for sure, but I still resent it. (he should've noticed the wrinkles around my eyes from squinting, I think) I also saved up what little money I could scrounge, bought a flashlight and read books under the covers late at night. The next year I got glasses and my grades shot back up.

Another thing I remember about that year was one of those fifth grade boys asking me a math question: "What is 8 x 8?" I came back with the correct answer "64", pleased with myself that I had passed the test...until the boy said "Nope, that's wrong!"

I just stood there staring until he waited for a few seconds and announced:

"It's 65. It's a leap year!"

I ran into the guy's mother a few years back and told her that story; she got a laugh out of it. I didn't bring up my getting hairy that year, though.

It was also the year of my first girlfriend. Reckon my entrance into puberty had anything to do with that? I'm sure my cracking voice and emerging zits didn't attract her. Maybe she noticed the hair in my armpits.

Huh?

This just came in my email inbox:


Dear Groups User,

Your MSN Group, One-Trick Pony, has had no activity in the last 90 days. As a convenience to our users, we periodically delete groups that have become dormant. We hope you'll consider coming back. It's not too late!

If your group remains inactive for another 14 days, we'll go ahead and delete it. If you would like to keep your group, simply click on the link below and follow the instructions on the web page.

Keep my group

We hope your group is back in action soon,

MSN Groups



If you'll click on any of the links in the above mail, you'll see why I say "Huh?"