Tell me that didn't make a shiver go down your spine.
February 25, 2010
Punny Funnies
From the 
archives:
1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!"
3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies "Yes, I'm positive."
5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said," I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan. " Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close.
Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop.
Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.
9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
PHUN
Not so much a game, but instead a time-waster.
Run your cursor over the multi-colored balls and split them into more, all the way down to the pixel level. When you're done, an image will be revealed.
To be honest, I've not had much free time lately and haven't finished this to conclusion, so I don't know what sort of image is behind the balls.
(If it's a nude woman, someone tell me and I'll find the time to finish take it down.)
PHUN
February 24, 2010
letters to dead people
letters to dead people is a simple but brilliant idea: write a letter to the deceased and let them know how you feel. Most of the letters are written by the site's owner, but she also takes reader submissions. Some are silly, some are poignant and others are laugh-out-loud funny.
For example, one of the latest letters is to Princess Diana:
Dear Princess Diana,
Even in death we did not leave you alone.
Another recent entry:
Dear Marquis De Sade,
You won't find love in the crack of a whip, but I guess you were never looking for love in the first place.
One of my personal favorites:
Dear Isaac Newton,
Heavy, man, heavy.
My very favorite, however, is my own selected for publication.
Texas Unclaimed Property
From the site:
One in four Texans has unclaimed property from forgotten bank accounts, uncashed checks, security deposits and utility refunds. It’s your money, and we want you to get it back.
Texas is currently holding more than $2 billion in cash and other valuables waiting for the rightful owners to claim. It’s never too late to make a claim, and we are committed to ensuring hardworking Texans don’t lose a penny. Find out what you may have been missing by searching our unclaimed property database
Texas Unclaimed Property
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