Having a Ball

Professional Wrestler Sues Opponent After Losing Testicle From Match

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Ouch. At least he still has one. OTOH, he'll never be able to again say "Y'know, I'd give my right testicle to...."

Suing for the loss of a testicle - can't say as I blame him. I'd just hope the lost testicle wouldn't be introduced as evidence in court.

He's really lucky to have lost just the one. If he'd lost both, he would have to change his name to "Sue".

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I published this post, then remembered a joke. (What else is new?)

Two cannibals had ambushed a missionary and had sat down to eat him. One cannibal told the other that when they ate someone, he always got less because the other ate faster and always got to eat more. They agreed to start on opposite ends and finish off in the middle.

Munching along, the cannibal who started at the head said to the one who started at the feet: "Hey, how's it goin'?"

"I'm having a ball!" replied the other cannibal.

 "Slow down!" admonished the one cannibal. "You're still eating too fast!"

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Update: saw this article earlier: Crocodile bites off man's testes
Ouch.

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Wow, my internet has been going nuts here lately. Just saw this recommendation when I was shopping Amazon earlier.

3B Scientific W43014 Testicle Self Exam Form

Wonder if they know something I don't?

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Wow, too strange. Got this email earlier:

INTERESTING OBSERVATION

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

 And....

6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

It Sucks When It Blows

Got out to pay some bills earlier and driving back home, saw this stop sign; it looked like the scene from "Close Encounters" where the alien ship is making the mailboxes and signs shake. It's a little blurry because I took it looking through the windshield. (I didn't want to step outside!) The weatherman just said Amarillo had had gusts of 62mph.

Just up the street, heading into town, is a reduced speed zone down to 35 mph. I got off the gas, but had to use the brake to get under the speed limit!

Too bad I wasn't making a trip heading that direction...would've got the best gas mileage ever! The only people who love these sort of days are those who own wind turbines.

How Long - Ace

Was going through my mp3 jukebox and listened to this song I hadn't thought of in a long time. Always loved the melody and the lyrics which surely came from a heartbreak of the songwriter. I read a little about it while searching for the video; I was surprised to see it wasn't as big a hit in the UK as it was in the US.

Mystery Ingredient

One of my favorite recipe sites is Recipe Lion. It offers a newsletter, a recipe box to save your favorites in, specialty and holiday recipe collections in downloadable pdf format and many other features.

In today's newsletter, one recipe caught my eye: (because I'm a poor man) Poor Man's Steak. I clicked on the link in the email and went to the site, hoping that it would be a recipe worthy of saving. It seemed easy enough and sounded like it would be a tasty and inexpensive dish to prepare.  I saved the recipe, then had a closer look at the ingredients. Here's what I saw:


One of what? A can of some other soup? A diced onion? The finger you lopped off slicing up the loaf? A mystery ingredient, indeed.

I worry about "mystery ingredients" when I get fast food at places where it looks like just teenagers are working

Holidays for the Lonely

Laura Kightlinger: Holidays for the Lonely:

It goes: Christmas, New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? Those are all days when you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's -- boom! there's Valentine's Day for you. I think there should be just one more holiday after Valentine's Day, just for the stragglers -- and it should be called, Who Could Love You?

auscultation

From the Word of the Day:

auscultation - aus·cul·ta·tion [aw-skuhl-tey-shuhn];noun

Medicine/Medical .

1. the act of listening, either directly or through a stethoscope or other instrument, to sounds within the body as a method of diagnosis.

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I'm sure this would be a great technique for diagnosing heart or lung problems, perhaps even something to do with the circulatory system,  but since I'm no medical expert, I can't think of any other problems that could be figured out by sound. When my bones creak and pop, I know that's just a sign of old age.

I guess having a chronic gas problem could be diagnosed by sound, but I figure smelling it would be the first clue.

Vaguebooking

Since I'm ranting about Facebook.... (see post just below this one)

I ran across a great new word the other day: Vaguebooking

From Urban Dictionary: An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help.

Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it"


Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea"

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I used to get those from a couple of my younger family members who are Facebook friends. Even though I didn't know what they were talking about, I chalked it up to teenaged angst. I'd message them "What's wrong?" and usually get a vague reply. "Oh, just life isn't fair." or something similar.

Yep, teenaged angst.

I've got a Facebook friend, a grown woman only a couple years younger than me, who does it too, though. That's when it's annoying. Her vague Facebook posts almost always are something like: "Don't judge me! You don't know what I'm going through!" or variations on the same theme. At first, I and other of her Facebook friends would ask her what was wrong, tell her we were there for her, etc. I've quit responding and most others have, too.

Frankly, it pisses me off. If you're angry enough with someone to post something like that, name them! Hell, I'd enjoy some drama and dissension far more than I do these vague threats.

It's my humble opinion that she craves the attention.  Maybe she thinks a majority of her Facebook friends should reply to each and every one of her posts and this is the way to see who reads her wall.  She's one of those people, however, who shares a dozen or more things each and every day.  I share stuff, too, but try to keep it at a minimum - to share things I find really odd or funny. 

(I belong to a group whose owner posts at least two dozen times/day. It's almost overwhelming.  The worst thing is she constantly re-posts things.  She does change them up some, though.  Some weeks it's bluebonnets, others it's George Strait photos.  Enough! I enjoy the group otherwise. I just wish she'd focus more on quality than quantity)

Since finding the new word "vaguebooking", I've been trying to think of one for the posts people do far too often; the "if you're my friend" type, the ones that implore you to re-post and share that post.  I'm thinking something along the lines of "disgracebooking" because of the way they try to shame you into re-posting.