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December 23, 2013

12 Days of Christmas

December 22, 2013

fiddlesticks



fiddlesticks fid·dle·sticks [fid-l-stiks] interjection
(used to express impatience, dismissal, etc.)

fiddlestick fid·dle·stick [fid-l-stik] noun
anything; a bit: "I don't care a fiddlestick for what they say."

I had to laugh when I saw this as the World of the Day; just a couple of weeks ago, I was telling an employee of a store where I purchase the Beej's food that there hadn't been any on the shelf in over a month. "Oh, yeah." the young woman replied. "That's one of those things we didn't get on the truck.".

I didn't believe her.  "Fiddlesticks!" I said. "The office marks you out of the product?" I asked in a blustering manner, knowing how their inventory system worked. "Mmm-huh." the girl said with a surety I knew was feigned.

"Fiddlesticks!" I said again. I knew they had been having problems keeping employees, but it wasn't just cat food that wasn't being put out; I estimated that at least 10-15% of their shelving was empty.  "Why would they mark YOU out of the product when your other store always has it in stock?" I went on ranting: "That's where I've been having to go to get it.".

"What was that you said to me?" asked the young woman, acting offended. I repeated what I had said, that the other store had it and..."No, at first, that 'fiddle-something'?" I started to explain, but about that time the mgr. showed up and wanted to know what was wrong. I repeated my problem and the girl interrupted "He wants some sort of fiddle cat food."

The manager looked at me like I was nuts and I laughed and told her I had said "fiddlesticks", not believing they didn't have any of the cat food and that I bet it was in the back room. The manager, a woman not quite my age but quite a bit older than her employee, laughed too. "Fiddlesticks" said the mgr. to her employee. "It's an old-fashioned and polite way of saying 'Bullsh*t'!"

Anyway, long story short, the mgr. consulted her inventory sheets and the young woman was sent to the back room to dig though the mountainous pile of stock to find the cat food.  Sure 'nuff, they had loads of it. I bought a couple of cartons, enough to last the Beej for a few weeks.

From now on, maybe I shouldn't use such a polite term as "fiddlesticks".  I've got plenty of the regular curse words in stock.

Holiday Greetings


You Are Merry Christmas

You are a traditionalist when it comes to the holidays, and you aren't going to be politically correct about it.

You celebrate Christmas, and you don't think there's any reason to hide it. Most other people celebrate it too.

You are content to wish everyone a "Merry Christmas." It doesn't have to be a religious thing.


"Happy Holidays" is just too generic for your taste. You aren't going to tone down your greeting for anyone. 


 

Moonlighters

I'm sitting here waiting on the Cowboys/Redskins game that starts at noon and the host on the online radio show I'm listening to said it's raining in Washington, DC.  I decided I'd go look at the DC area weather radar to see if it looked like it would rain all through the game. (I'm thinking Dallas would benefit from good, dry weather because I think the offense will have to carry the day)

On the website header there is a graphic with two of the station's weather people;  I didn't pay them much mind at first, but after looking at the radar, my gaze was drawn back to them...they looked familiar:

The graphic says their names are Doug Hill and Jacqui Jeras, but I'm not so sure.


I think it's Joe Biden and Gwyneth Paltrow moonlighting at their second jobs.

December 21, 2013

Sober Santa


The object of the game is simple: Using the keyboard arrow keys, get Santa drunk by guiding him to the champagne bottles; after that, nab the gifts as they appear....all the while trying to keep him from falling off the roof.

Santa's pretty snockered, though, so you'll have to excuse his belching and passing gas.

December 20, 2013

My Letter to Santa

Dear Santa,

I've been good all year  most of the time   once in a while.

I'll just buy my own presents.

Love,
Mike