Boomhauer on The Net

This is dedicated to our late friend Brad in Kentucky. He said he loved the Mike Judge animated series "King of the Hill" (a sweet little satire about life in Texas) mainly because of Boomhauer.

Brad said he knew a LOT of people in Kentucky who spoke that way.

Yeah, but my bark's worse than my bite.

In keeping with the procrastination-as-usual theme of this blog (and most any other thing I do), here's a Blogstuff thing I had saved for Halloween.

---

You Are a Werewolf

You're unpredictable, moody, and downright freaky. You seem sweet and harmless, until you snap. Then you're a total monster. Very few people can predict if you're going to be Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde. But for you, all your transformations seem perfectly natural. Your greatest power: Your ability to tap into nature Your greatest weakness: Lack of self control You play well with: Vampires

What Kind of Monster Are You?

I'd cry, but...

I can't spare the water.

---

Vote on Pickens project a sure bet

By BETSY BLANEY Associated Press

LUBBOCK -- It won't take long to count the votes next week on a plan that would help billionaire T. Boone Pickens deliver Panhandle water to growing North Texas communities. There's even less doubt about the outcome.

Just two people -- Pickens' ranch manager and his wife -- will cast ballots Tuesday on whether to confirm the creation of the Fresh Water Supply District in Roberts County.

Alton Boone, who manages Pickens' vast Canadian River Valley ranch, and his wife, Lu, live within the 8-acre water district and are its only eligible voters.

The couple also will vote to seat a five-member board of supervisors -- which would include themselves and three Pickens employees -- and to approve $101 million in revenue bonds to acquire rights of way through as many as 12 counties for delivering water- and wind-generated electricity.

The bonds would be repaid from money collected from water and electricity customers who benefit from Pickens' energy projects.

The election is the next step in a five-year effort by Pickens' Mesa Water to market and ship water from the Ogallala Aquifer to thirsty cities.

Pickens also wants to install 2,700 large wind turbines in four Panhandle counties. Together, they would be capable of producing 4,000 megawatts of electricity, making it the world's largest wind farm.

Roberts County commissioners formed the water district in September at the request of landowners in the district -- all of whom had recently bought their acreage from Pickens. Under Texas law, voters living on the affected land must ratify the change before it becomes official.

Texas' 55 freshwater districts have been established since 1919, when the Legislature authorized them for the exclusive purpose of providing and distributing water for domestic and commercial use.

Local officials say the election has drawn more interest from afar than from within the county.

"Most of them say, 'I can't believe he can do that"' County Judge Vernon Cook said. "I say, 'Yes, that's the way our fearless leaders [in Austin] changed the statute.'

"There's no doubt in my mind it'll be formed."

Texas lawmakers say they made the changes this year in an effort to standardize the state's water laws and to give property owners a greater say on issues affecting their land.

"In the end, it's not any special Pickens law," said Rep. Brandon Creighton, R-Conroe. "Nothing to do with Pickens was even remotely part of my efforts at all."

Others, however, suggest that money played a part in the changes. Andrew Wheat of Texans for Public Justice, a nonprofit watchdog group that tracks money in politics, said Pickens spent about $2.2 million on lobbyists this year and campaign contributions in 2006.

"It could be coincidence. But if it is, it's a hell of a coincidence," Wheat said. "No sooner did this law take effect, and his lawyers were already working on this particular proposal that seems to be framed by the very legal changes made."

But Monty Humble, Pickens' attorney, denied that the oil tycoon was behind the legislation.

"We had absolutely nothing to do with" those changes, Humble said.

Sen. Kel Seliger, R-Amarillo, voiced other worries.

"What concerns me more is the potential to undermine the conservation of [Panhandle] groundwater that's facing some real challenges," he said. "Those changes [in the statutes] were not in anticipation of exportation of water" by Pickens or anyone else.

I've Got the Write Stuff

What Your Handwriting Says About You

You are a fairly energetic person. You know how do pace yourself, and you deal well with stress. You are very extroverted and outgoing. You are loving, friendly, and supportive. However, you are also manipulative and controlling at times. You are balanced and grounded. You know how to get along well with others. You need a bit of space in your life, but you're not a recluse. You expect people to give you a small amount of privacy, and you respect their privacy as well. You are conservative, old fashioned, and a little stubborn. You are resistant to change. You are a decent communicator. You eventually get your point across, but sometimes you leave things a bit ambiguous.

What Does Your Handwriting Say About You?

A Message from the Beej

Eye of newt, and toe of frog, Wool of bat, and tongue of dog, Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble. Witches in Macbeth William Shakespeare

Humorous Halloween Horrorscopes

Ascaryus (Jan 20-Feb 18): This Halloween looks to be a scary one for you. But before you go around crying, "Ooooh, I want my mummy! I want my mummy!" think about this: You want more lovin’, right? Well, if you run around like a scaredycat, you will, to quoth the raven, "Neverscore."

Pieces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Vampires are evil, hypnotic people who will emerge in the night and drain you. Sounds like someone I used to date. You need to be careful because you may have closed the metaphoric coffin lid on a relationship, only to find that this person will rise from the graveyard of your heart to worm their way back into your life. One word of advice from "Buffy The Vampire Slayer": A vampire can only come in if you invite them.

Scaries (Mar 21-Apr 19): You've got to pick up every stitch this Halloween because, unless I miss my guess, it must be the Season of the Witch. If only every holiday could be commemorated with a bad Donovan song. Wouldn't it be great, on Thanksgiving, to sit around the table, giving thanks for the bounty we are to receive by singing a rousing round of "Mellow Yellow"? That is truly the most horrifying thought you can be faced with this Halloween.

Tarot (Apr 20-May 20): Sure, you ladies have been looking for some lovin'. But you don't want to go for just any Tom Dick and Harry. And heaven forfend you go for any Jack you find, especially when that Jack is some hollow-headed grinning gap-toothed idiot. But then again, despite his weird exterior, if you look inside, you'll see a flame burning bright. This might be the season of the witch, but if you try not to act so witchy and look past the odd exterior, you'll find hidden depths in the ugliest places.

OnlyOneEye (May 21- Jun 20): Horror is in the eye of the beholder, whether that eye be bloodshot and yellow, peering at you from the shadows of the night, or whether the eye is a horrible dismembered giant radioactive eye. What is truly scary? A werewolf? A werewolf is not so much a horrible half-man half-beast as a chronic undershaver. A headless horseman is just the victim of a particularly bad hair day. In much the same way, you can find the brighter side of anything that comes your way, no matter how horrific or annoying.

Dancer (Jun 21-Jul 22): Scary is relative, and we don't just mean your crazy relatives who threaten to come visit for six weeks, but rather the idea that whereas a movie with monsters made out of cardboard boxes and paper mache may have been the scariest thing you'd ever seen when you were eight, it now looks like crap. You must get over your initial fears of a new project or relationship; although it seems insurmountable now, if you stick with it, you will eventually be able to overcome it.

Tao (Jul 23-Aug 22): Frankenstein's monster was, of course, made out of the parts of a couple dozen other people, which must have been hell when it came to custody hearings. Nothing's more awkward at a family reunion than having one-tenth of Cousin Harry show up at the buffet. You, too, feel like you're being pulled in twenty different directions, but you'll soon receive the jolt you'll need to get on your feet again.

Vertigo (Aug 23-Sep 22): Pity the poor skeleton who wanders around on Halloween, looking so unfashionable in all-white a full two months after Memorial Day. Of course, he can't help it, and he is actually successful in the love department; after all, he is "ribbed" for her pleasure. This week you'll find that you attract more flies with honey than even dead zombie flesh, and being inherently nice to the opposite sex will make them flock to you like vultures to a skeleton.

Webra (Sep 23-Oct 22): Zombies are pretty well-known for trying to suck the brains out of people's heads. As was every high school algebra teacher I ever had. Coincidence? Considering that those people were always pale on the point of being green, had trouble communicating more than moans and incoherent screams, and had awkward, stumbling walks down the hallway, I think it's lucky I escaped without some horrible "Night of the Living Dead scenario." You escape a horrific fate worse than death , if you can steer clear of boring people at parties.

Scareio (Oct 23-Nov 21): You think you're being slick, but the truth is that you're like a ghost; people can see through you, and all the noise you're making is more effective scaring small children and dogs than actually doing anything. It's time to leave your old haunts and take care of that grave matter that's all your vault.

Sekeltarious (Nov 22-Dec 21): Boo! Scared ya!

Capricandycorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): You're in the zone this week! The Twilight Zone, that is, and it's going to be a creepy thrill ride with an incredibly ironic twist at the end that serves as a commentary on our mixed-up Cold War nuclear society. Don't let the creepy situations you get yourself into this week get you skittish. Let them get you Skittles; why not go Trick-or-Treating? It's fun to dress up, get given stuff, and not have to give ten percent to a big guy named Huggy Bear. And Halloween candy doesn't count as calories!