ʎʇʇıʞ uɐǝɯ - sǝıʇʇıʞ uʍop ǝpısdn

Mean Kitty Upside down.

YouTube's idea of an April Fool's joke.

This Google search isn't:

Funny Food Fortune

I had a hot dog with onions on a white bread bun tonight.

Guess that means I'm a weenie with bad breath and high blood sugar.

Peace of Mind Prescription

From the email archives:

---

An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied,

“I’d like to have some birth control pills.”

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said,

“Excuse me, ma'am, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”

The woman replied,

“They help me sleep better.”

The doctor considered this for a second, and continued…

“How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”

The woman said,

“I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night."

25 Years Ago Today

Marvin Gaye was killed.

RIP

I Heard it Through the Grapevine

Happiness is Nearby

Yeah, and he just turned up his nose at his breakfast. Darn cat.

I dunno if that's the happiness my fortune is talking about. Also next to me is a bottle of premium tequila I bought a couple of years ago for a present and put away and just found again the other day. If that's the happiness, then tomorrow's fortune will read "You feel like crap."

I usually post only the music I like, but today's fortune made me think of this song, IMO the worst song the Beatles ever did.

Happiness is a Warm Gun

Dear Whoever

Hello! I looked through your profile at e-kontakte.se and decided to write you a message and tell I am intersted in you. I'm sure that you are very intelligent and nice person. It would be great to learn more about you! I'm sure we can find something in common and begin a long a beautiful story.I'm looking only for serious relationship, I'm tired of games and dishonesty. I'm ready to give all my love and tenderness to a right man. Maybe that is you? Nobody knows!

I hope you are also interested in communicating with me! Looking forward to hearing from you! Please reply only to my personal e-mail: krasatulechka2009@gmail.com



Dear Whoever You Are,

(you didn't give a name, except for the photo; is your name "MyPhoto"???")

Let's keep this short and sweet, ok? I never left a profile at the site you mentioned; the last time I signed up for a matchmaking service they tried to hook me up with my cousin.

A "long and beautiful story" is what you want, huh? Like a fairy tale? Know the difference between a fairy tale and a Texas tall tale? The fairy tale starts out like this: "Once upon a time..." and the Texas tall tale begins "Now, this ain't no BS..."

So, if you're tired of "games and dishonesty", why are you acting crooked as a dog's hind leg?

You got one thing correct: I am a "right man". I suggest, however, that you look for a "left" one and lower your standards on "nice and intelligent" because them sunuvabitches will sleep with anybody and are stupid enough to fall for your scam.

Sincerely,
Mike

P.S. Here's your "real" address: avalotor@serialsys.com.sg

Here's hopin' the spambots pick up on it and deluge your email account.

THAT ain't no BS.