So secret that not a single soul knows. Mensa or Densa , which are you?

I really need to learn how to knit. I've got so much cat hair in my house that if I had the internal organs, I could knit me another...

The bad news is it's taking its own sweet time getting here.

Until I read my fortune: My last New Year's resolution was to never make another resolution.

Thank goodness. I was just about to go broke buying lotto tickets.

Even when they're so wrong. Heck, I have trouble unlocking my door.

That might very well be true, but trust me.... It's not always a good thing.

They nearly got it right: an ass with gumption challenged my weekend.

C'mon "someone". Don't leave me hangin'.

In these daily fortunes. When I was a kid, it was "Don't trust anyone over 30." Now that I'm over 30 (just by a little bit...

OK, I did, and I'll tell you about a little bit of it. It was a bad year; I was rushing into puberty head-over-heels and was embarrasse...

Wow, this is freaky. Just yesterday I threw out all my old Playboy magazines.

(said with fingers crossed behind back)

To put this fortune in for today.

Oh, I hope not. Especially not the dreams I have after drinking a couple of beers along with eating some pickled okra and sardines covered ...

That's so funny (and wrong) I don't even know what to say.

I had a hot dog with onions on a white bread bun tonight. Guess that means I'm a weenie with bad breath and high blood sugar.

Yeah, and he just turned up his nose at his breakfast. Darn cat. I dunno if that's the happiness my fortune is talking about. Also n...

It's probably a mortician.