But, I HATE to Paint!

You Should Be a Painter

You have the vision, patience, and skill to bring your unique visions to canvas. And you're even tempered enough not to cut your ear off in the process!

What Sort of Artist Should You Be?

Me, even tempered? 

Yeah, right.  I'm not only NOT even tempered, I don't have a lick of talent, at least in the artistic department.   I don't even like painting rooms in a house, but something like a fence is fine because I don't have to worry so much about paint splatters.

The best way to paint I've ever seen was when I was roughnecking and we painted our big fresh water tank;  someone would climb on top with a five gallon bucket of paint and walk backwards, pouring out the paint as he went.  As the paint ran down the sides, all the hands would take long handled scrub brushes and smear it all over.  The job was done in less than ten minutes and didn't even look all that bad...it was going to get scratched up in the next rig move anyway.

Hell's Bells - AC/DC

If you think this song is evil, or simply don't like AC/DC, then just go ahead and play the gong part on your own.

Cleopatra's Lipstick Bugged Her

Cleopatra made her lipstick from crushed beetles, giving it a red pigment and used ground-up ants for the base.

I wonder if the royal dishwasher had problems scrubbing it off the cups?

Jerry, Pay the Man!

Let's get a deal done, Mr. Jones...take off the tag and pay the man.  I know you have to watch the cap, but how often does a talent like this come along?

He needs to be a Cowboy for life.

Seeing Red

The color red does not make bulls go crazy; bulls are color blind. The bull is likely irritated not by the color, but by the cape's movement as the matador whips it around.

I am not an expert on color, but the recent Internet fixation on the color of "the dress" is making me angry as a bull. (If you're not aware of it, good for you, but if you'd like to know, just Google "the dress" and you'll find out.  It's received much more attention than Monica's blue dress. (and you'll need to Google THAT, too, because I'm sure not gonna link to any stories about it.)