Welcome to ToTG!



December 31, 2014

Pussycat Pit Stop

They all slide into their spots like one of those car stunts.

December 30, 2014

December 29, 2014

The Movie Theater Test

You Are Outgoing and Enthusiastic

You are funny and playful. You bring out the brighter side of things. You are one colorful character.

You tend to go to your friends for advice and opinions. You value what your friends have to say.

You have an optimistic take on life. Things are always a lot better than they seem at first.

Spending time alone makes you a little nostalgic. You tend to think about the past a lot when you're alone. 



December 28, 2014

DOES TYPING IN ALL CAPS

REALLY, REALLY ANNOY YOU?

IF SO, THEN YOU SHOULD JUST GET THE HELL OFF THE INTERNET!

Seriously, I just saw - for at least the ten thousandth time since I've been online - someone getting angry at someone else for posting in all-caps.  There can be several explanations; they could be posting with their phone and that's the only way they can see it or maybe it's too much trouble to capitalize just the first letter of a sentence or maybe they have vision problems and that's the only way they can see what they're typing (I know several people like that) or...and this has happened to me...they have a faulty keyboard on their computer and it's stuck on Caps Lock.  

The only reason I can think of to legitimately complain about is that perhaps the person simply wants to draw attention to him or her self...but how would you know that, so it's best to just shut the hell up. Maybe they're suicidal and want someone....ANYONE...to listen,  want to feel as though they're not totally worthless and that life really is worth living.  What if your complaining about them typing in all caps drove them over the edge, how would you feel then?

You probably wouldn't give a crap, though, would you?

So, if you have to be so anal and butthurt and waste your time and everyone else's in pointing it out, maybe you have more problems than THE PERSON TYPING IN ALL CAPS!!!!

Surely you can find something better to bitch about - the economy, the environment, the way your favorite team has been playing, which ever party is the opposite of the one you generally vote for...hell, you can whine about this rant for all I care, but good grief, quit complaining about someone typing in all caps.

GOT IT, YOU SNIVELING LITTLE ASSHAT?

December 27, 2014

No Words

Sorry, my Word of the Day module has disappeared from the right-hand column.  I went to the website to see if they had discontinued it or changed the code/script used to embed it, but it doesn't look like that's the case.  I used the contact form to ask about it but haven't heard back. (not surprising, since it's the holidays) 

If I can't get it back, then I'll try to find another one.  I really enjoy posting about unusual words or those I've never seen or heard.

Higher Ground - Stevie Wonder

I was listening to the Kim Komando radio show (listen here when it's on during the weekends) and she uses a snippet of this song as "bumper music" in between segments.

December 26, 2014

December 24, 2014

O Holy Night - Josh Groban

Set to scenes from The Nativity Story.

Shirley You Believe in Santa!

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.

  - Shirley Temple Black


Under The Pressure-The War on Drugs

December 22, 2014

December 21, 2014

How To Wrap Your Cat For Christmas

Showdown - ELO

Since today is the Winter Solstice, I've been seeing all sorts of posts and articles about it.  One I just read said "Today will be the shortest day of the year and tonight is the longest night." and I was blasted with a memory of this ELO song which has that line in it.   I also remember when the song came out...but that was a LONG time ago, so I don't really want to think about that right now.  It's not easy knowing I'm in the winter of my life and all the days from here on will be shorter and all the nights longer.  -sigh-

December 20, 2014

Department Store Santa

From the Photobucket archives:



Ten Things A Department Store Santa Doesn't Want To Hear:

10. "Remember me? I'm the kid with the weak bladder"

9. "You smell like supermarket gin"

8. "The real miracle on 34th Street would be if they accepted my mom's MasterCard"

7. "I want a 2004 Pontiac Aztec"

6. "Oh, by the way, if I don't get an X-Box, I'm gonna hunt you down, old man"

5. "I'm Jewish"

4. "I love you Kenny Rogers"

3. "Frankly I'm just here to humor my parents"

2. "While I'm talking to you, my mom is shoplifting blouses"

1. "Mom says you're my real daddy"


Mega-Sick

I stayed up last night to see the winning numbers in the Mega Millions lottery;  I didn't even get a single number, but at least the jackpot rolled over and will be $142 million next Tuesday night. (which will be Christmas Eve, so maybe I'll get a fantastic present for the holiday!)

What I did notice was someone hit 5 numbers but didn't get the bonus ball.  That paid a cool million, but I also noticed they didn't opt for the Megaplier which, with the multiplier of X3 would have paid 3 million bucks.

(click for larger view)



Can you imagine how conflicted they must feel after seeing their numbers come up?  On one hand, they won a million dollars, but on the other, since they didn't shell out another buck for the Megaplier, they left two million on the table.

I dunno 'bout them, but I would probably most likely puke when I realized how much money I had lost by not spending two dollars instead of one.   That's why I always play the Megaplier on the Mega Millions, the Powerplay on Powerball and Extra on the Texas Lotto.  I don't always play the lotteries, but just last week I won $12 instead of $4 because I had spent the extra buck and in the past I've won other larger amounts because of it.  No, I haven't even broke even on playing, but I'm not going to regret ever not playing the option of multiplying a lower-tier prize.

Picasso's Full Name

Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso


December 19, 2014

Catnip - Simon's Cat


Rudolph is a Girl

Well, maybe, maybe not, but it's a good bet. Male reindeer generally shed their antlers by the first of December while female reindeer usually keep theirs well into January.

I'm convinced it's a girl, because if Rudolph was a boy, he'd probably lose his way and wouldn't stop to ask directions.



December 18, 2014

Scary Downhill Run

A bit of profanity in the caption at the first and last, not too bad. I would have said that and much more if I was the rider.

Be sure and watch to the end, that's when it gets really exciting.


December 17, 2014

CURRENT CAPCHA CRAP

I went to reply to a comment under a post and saw this:

I noticed this new - and much better than previous versions - verification process on other Blogger blogs I frequent, but this was the first time I had been required to do it on my own blog.  At first I thought it was just a setting that needed to be changed, but apparently it's not something I CAN change, so I'm sorry for the extra step.

I have required OpenID or a Google account in order to post, but that's just to keep my blood pressure down and not have to delete asshole anonymous comments from anyone who wants to criticize me or something I've posted in here.  I don't intend to be offensive in here and don't think I am, but it IS my blog and if someone wants to curse me out or rebut what few controversial things I've said, then they can get their own damn blog and do it there, not in here.

So, again, I'm sorry for the extra step.  I wish I could change it, but at least it's fairly easy to read and is only 3-4 digits to type in.  Maybe this will keep the spam I get now 'n then to a minimum.

People Are Awesome!

December 15, 2014

Scared of Pineapple

Stella the pit bull doesn't like the pineapple.

I don't like 'em either, Stella.

Finally

Got my Christmas decorations up.


What Kind of Ist Are You?

You Are An Existentialist

You may sound like a complicated person, but your life philosophy is quite simple. You stay true to yourself.

You believe that only you are responsible for your own life path and outcome. You are very independent and autonomous.

You think that life is often absurd, but you're okay with that. You will find your meaning where you can.


You accept your limitations and strengths in life. You are constantly looking for new opportunities to grow and learn. 


 

December 14, 2014

Oops, It's Been Done Again

404 page on zap2it.com. "Oops" seems to be gaining in popularity on these type of pages.  How 'bout "Oops, I'll never visit your website again if you don't fix your broken links!" ?


whippersnapper



whippersnapper \ HWIP-er-snap-er, WIP- \ noun

1. an unimportant but offensively presumptuous person, especially a young one.


I knew this word, having read and heard it in countless comedy pieces, always said by some crotchety old man towards kids who are bothering him.  Now that I'M a crotchety old man, it's not something I often use but I certainly understand it. I just want the whippersnappers to stay off my lawn and leave me alone.

December 13, 2014

Slinky Master

I never could get the thing to go down the stairs when I had one.


December 11, 2014

Mozart

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Jan 27, 1756 - Dec 5, 1791) began composing at the age of five.

He began decomposing shortly after he died.


December 10, 2014

Be My Baby - The Ronettes


philosophaster



philosophaster \ fi-los-uh-FAS-ter, fi-LOS-uh-fas-ter \ noun

1. a person who has only a superficial knowledge of philosophy or who feigns a knowledge he or she does not possess.


There are literally millions of philosophasters on the 'net...I saw posts by a couple dozen just this morning on Facebook. 

Great Ghandi Groaner

From the Photobucket archives:

Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him...

... a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.


December 9, 2014

No Sample, Just an Advert

Clicked on a link to get a free sample and got this page from  Centerpoint Media.


No sample, but they still toot their own horn. Not sure why they're bragging.

Tears Trivia

The average person's eyes produce 1.2 gallons of tears a year.

96 Tears - ? and the Mysterians

December 7, 2014

December 4, 2014

A Weak Week

Sorry that I haven't posted anything for the last week, I'm still battling this horrible cold.  It's settled into my lungs and while it's not the medical definition, it felt like I had walking pneumonia.   I finally got my appetite back a few days ago, but I've still felt lethargic and didn't want to do much of anything and to be honest, I still don't.

No promises about posting every day from now on, but just wanted to tell my loyal readers - all four/five of you - that I wasn't dead....although I felt like I was dying.


Mark Twain

The only known video recording of Mark Twain.

November 28, 2014

alphitomancy


alphitomancy \ al-FIT-uh-man-see \ noun

1. the use of barley meal as a means of divination.

As opposed to alphabitsomancy, the use of children's breakfast cereal as a means of divination.

November 26, 2014

Ferret Fact

Ferrets can suffer from depression.

Maybe it's from not being able to leap.

November 25, 2014

The No Rhyme Rap - Kinne


No Posts Yesterday

Missed posting in this blog yesterday and missed posting or doing much else online, either. I did manage to post the trivia from my calendar Saturday without falling over. 

It started late Thursday, a scratchy throat, low-grade fever, some dry coughing and the last couple of days there's also been dizziness and I felt like I had been pummeled by a heavyweight boxer.  So, I stayed in bed all weekend (and most of yesterday) and watched seasons 2 & 3 of Dexter.

There was a point when I felt so bad I wouldn't have minded if ol' Dex paid me a visit. 

November 23, 2014

Herd of Giraffes

A herd of giraffes is called a tower.


"Herd of giraffes?"
"Why sure, I've herd of giraffes!"

frigorific



frigorific\ frig-uh-RIF-ik \ adjective

1. causing or producing cold.


I never had heard this word used or seen it in print, but it sounds almost obscene.

Then again, I consider the cold to be obscene.

November 21, 2014

Blinking Women

It's a myth that women blink more than men, but women using oral contraceptives blink nearly a third more often than normal for unknown reasons.

I don't care if they blink more than me, I just wish one would wink at me.


November 20, 2014

November 18, 2014

This Cat is a Jerk


Mike Rowe For President



No, no joke.  Mike Rowe For President 2016.  Why, you ask?

Well, we know he's a hard worker and willing to take on unpleasant tasks from his stint on Dirty Jobs. Sure, he's never been a politician, but that's a big plus in my book.  He's been an opera singer, a pitchman, a spokesperson, a narrator, motivational speaker and currently is promoting mikeroweWORKS, a foundation which is focused on the decline in the blue collar trades and the crumbling state of the infrastructure.   Plus, he doesn't suffer fools lightly. (and, if you read that Facebook post, you can see he's mastered the art of diplomatically telling someone to go to hell without saying it directly.)

What?  Those jobs don't qualify someone to be President?  Well, over the last 40 yrs., we've had a peanut farmer, a B-List actor, a sexual addict, a frat boy of privilege and our first black president who had little experience and even fewer qualifications before being elected.

Rowe is handsome, articulate, accomplished, youthful yet experienced in life and has a great sense of humor.  I don't know 'bout you, but all things considered, that's more than enough to be President of the United States.

I don't know which political party Rowe would run under, but I'd hope his campaign would be independent of either two main parties.

So, yes...Mike Rowe For President.  I'm not the only one who thinks that way.

November 17, 2014

Took Sunday Off

Not that anyone noticed, but I took yesterday off (from posting in here).  For the first time in years, I watched football all day long and not only was that out-of-the-ordinary for me, Dallas wasn't even playing since they're in their bye week.

I really enjoyed watching the other conference opponents - New York, Washington and Philadelphia - not only get beat, but beaten fairly badly.  Sure, the Giants didn't lose by much, but they played so poorly it was fun to watch the meltdown. 

I'll have to admit, however, that I'm about "footballed out" after watching the biggest part of four games yesterday (including the late game last night).  I doubt I'll watch Monday Night Football, but will instead catch up on some of my favorite new-found TV series.

November 15, 2014

Vegas Wedding Chapel Cam

Some guys spend their Saturdays mowing the lawn or working on their cars while others sit on the couch and watch college football all day.

Me?  I sometimes tune into the Vegas Wedding Chapel Cam.

The Elvis impersonator/minister is singing "Love Me Tender" right now.

Bacon TV

4 hour loop of bacon frying.


November 13, 2014

We Are Doomed

Texas Tech's new student political organization PoliTech goes to campus to see how much our students know about their nation's politics! You might be surprised.
 


No, sorry to say, I'm not surprised, but I am more than a little disappointed that young people in Texas are so ignorant of history and current events.

I'm hopin' that most of them are paying out-of-state tuition.

FYI, I knew every answer, even the pop culture ones, but then again, I'm smarter than any of those being interviewed.  That crap can't help but sink in from all the reading I do, but at least I paid attention in history class and don't get my news from Jon Stewart or have my political opinions shaped by South Park or Saturday Night Live.

clowder



clowder \ KLOU-der \ noun

1. a group or cluster of cats.


I have one of these, but I don't call 'em that. Sometimes when I go outside and they're underfoot, the name I call them can't be repeated on this blog.


That isn't my photo or clowder of cats -it's just a photo I found on the 'net (and should have asked permission to use) and my clowder isn't as big nor does it have so many ginger cats, but it's close enough to illustrate what I face when I step out on my porch.

Kitten Therapy


November 12, 2014

October Analytics

Just got the blog stats for October.  If I were trying to make money off this thing or justified the time spent on it by the visitor count, it would be depressing.  As it is, nearly 20 unique visits/day isn't bad, at least not to me.


I've had counters on the page before, but got rid of them because I started trying to minimize the loading time - I post so many videos and have some modules in the right-hand column that slow it down, that I wanted to streamline the other content.  The bounce rate would alarm some other bloggers or webmasters, but it doesn't bother me - heck, I don't put much in here these days that people can't find elsewhere. 

ToTG is definitely "ego-centric" - it's the stuff that I like.  I really do need to change the description of the blog because I've moved away from it being about where I live to it being more about me and the things that interest me.  I'll change it one of these days, when I get a "rountuit".  Procrastination really should be a keyword/post label. - grin-

I used to look through the stats to see what people were searching for and where they came from, but now don't bother with it very often.  It's not that I don't care about the small number of people who visit, it's just that it's a hobby, not something I HAVE to be "successful" at.

November 11, 2014

Diffen

I found Diffen a few days ago while searching for the differences between a Psychopath vs. Sociopath (and I'm happy to announce that, while I have a few of the traits of both, I'm fairly certain I can't be classified as either.).

From the site:

What is Diffen?

Diffen lets you compare anything.

What is the difference between DVD+R and DVD-R? What is the difference between a pub and a bar? An alligator and a crocodile? What is the difference between 401(k) and IRA? Treasuries and bonds? AMD Turion and Athlon processors? How is a Pentium Core 2 Duo different from Pentium Dual Core? How does the work environment at IBM compare with working at Microsoft? How does living in Seattle compare with living in Amsterdam? What is the difference between a Plasma TV and an LCD TV? Cal Tech and UCLA? Yankees and the Red Sox?

You can find or write all these comparisons on Diffen.

Diffen

November 10, 2014

Lyrebird

This Lyrebird has been playing too many video games and watching too many old Tarzan flicks.

November 9, 2014

sinistral



sinistral \ SIN-uh-struhl \ , adjective

1. left-handed.
2. of, pertaining to, or on the left side; left (opposed to dextral).
3. (of certain gastropod shells) coiling counterclockwise, as seen from the apex.

Origin: Sinistral is related to the word sinister and meant "unlucky" when it entered English in the 1400s. It was extended to mean "on the left side" in the early 1800s.


After Obama was first elected President in 2008, a slew of articles popped up on the 'net saying his being left-handed was more proof that he is the Antichrist.  Now, I don't care for his policies, but I'm fairly sure he's not the Antichrist, but who knows?   For that matter, Tim Tebow is also left-handed.

My childhood friend and classmate Janice is left-handed, but she couldn't be the Antichrist either, as she was and still is a devout Christian...although I always thought she was a little bit evil for not letting me copy off her during tests.  To be fair, it wasn't just that she wouldn't let me, but she sat to my right and her writing hand was curled around her test paper and blocking me from seeing her answers.

Wiki says 10% of people are left-handed and that they are generally more successful, talented and make more money than righties.   There have been many great left-handed athletes. (not that Tim Tebow can be included in that group)

So, being left-handed doesn't mean that President Obama is the Antichrist, just that he needs special clubs for all the golf he plays. 

You know, maybe God is left-handed, if only out of necessity.  After all, the Bible says that Jesus sits on His right hand.

.

November 7, 2014

The Best Way to Prepare Oatmeal

I've been buying oatmeal through Amazon for the last several years and my preferred choice has been McCANN'S Steel Cut Irish Oatmeal, Quick & Easy, but recently my favorite grocery store has been carrying it at a competitive price so I now buy it there.

I was going through some files in my "ToTG" folder, the one I save video embed codes, funny emails and other Notepad documents with things I use often, like the Word of the Day image or simple tables HTML I sometimes want to use in a post and found the following, a comment in an argument about the best way to prepare steel-cut oatmeal.  The date of the document was over a year ago and I didn't put in the URL to the comment, sorry.

(Me?  I just heat up water, measure out a quarter cup of oatmeal in a bowl and when the water is boiling, I pour some on it along w/ some cinnamon and Splenda then put a plate on the bowl to hold the heat in.  I then make my coffee and by the time I've let it steep and then had a cup, my oatmeal is soft enough to eat.)

Like many inane arguments, it got heated and this post pointed out how stupid it was to argue about oatmeal. 

All of you are wrong. I get so frustrated reading these mindless diatribes and misinformation. Pour the entire tin contents down a hippo's mouth. Hippos cannot break down or digest oats. Wait approximately 3 hours. Recover the steamy moist oats after it has followed the creature's digestive tract. Place fresh hot oats in your children's mittens, boots and ear muffs for added protection against the cold. Apply mortar patches to crumbling basement foundations. Place the remainder in a fine china bowl and enjoy with some Vermont maple syrup.

Let Me Out! - Simon's Cat

November 6, 2014

anatine



anatine\ AN-uh-tahyn, -tin \ adjective

1. resembling a duck.
2. of or pertaining to the family Anatidae, comprising the swans, geese, and ducks.


I wasn't familiar with the word, but I know what it looks like.

November 5, 2014

Elected - Alice Cooper

A little late for Tuesday's elections, but the sentiment remains.


November 2, 2014

crapehanger



crapehanger\ KREYP-hang-er \ noun

1. a person who sees the gloomy side of things; pessimist. Also, crepehanger.

Origin: Crapehanger is an Americanism with roots in the custom of hanging crepe paper as a sign of mourning. It came into popular usage in the 1920s.


New word to me, but I certainly know a lot of people who could be described with it...sometimes myself.

Biggest Burpers

The loudest burp - on record - is an astounding 109.9 decibels by Paul Hunn.



Take heart, ladies - the women's champion Jodie Parks holds her gender's record at 104.75db.

Monster Bust

If no one came to the Monster Mash.

November 1, 2014

100 Pumpkins vs Snowblower

Now that Halloween is over, what to do with all those leftover pumpkins?



Personally, I think a wood chipper would've been better, but that's just me.

October 30, 2014

Death is Sweet

Well, it can be.  Swedish candy maker Roland Ohisson was buried in a chocolate coffin.

And no, that's not him lying in his coffin, but you can buy some similar.

October 29, 2014

Heteropoda davidbowie

David Bowie has a spider species named after him, the Heteropoda davidbowie.

Not sure I see the resemblance, but...


October 28, 2014

poltergeist



poltergeist \ POHL-ter-gahyst \ noun

1. a ghost or spirit supposed to manifest its presence by noises, knockings, etc.


I'm pretty sure most everyone is familiar with this word, especially after the movie.


October 27, 2014

Amazing in Yellow Trousers

Here's what just hit my spam folder:


And here's the text of the message with the URL removed:

amazing lady!
for  plain-lookin man!
hello I gave a promise you that I will transfer to you my photos.(URL removed) Excuse me possibly i am not wrong. But I met you at  mall. You not forget the woman in yellow trousers. bye

contact@deblock.fr


The source of the mail shows it came from elbe.nexen.net in France.  Looking at websites hosted there, they all seem to be sites that do nothing else but try to scam.

Of course, I didn't reply, but if I COULD speak to the "amazing lady!" I'd say this.

Hello, amazing lady,

It looks like you sent your spam/scam to every "mikein" on the 'net, so I'm sorta thinking it's not all that personal.  First of all, calling me - and all the other Mikes - "plain-lookin man" doesn't seem like that would be the way to win friends.  I'll admit I'm a little plain-lookin, but I'm sure at least a few of the other Mikes are fairly handsome men.  There are probably some that are even more plain than me, bless their hearts.

No, you didn't meet me at the mall.  The one here in town has been closed for over a decade and it's been nearly that long since I went to one in Amarillo, so I don't remember a woman in yellow trousers who promised to transfer her photos.  I'm sure I would remember that, dontcha think?

Amazing lady?  Nah, I don't think so.  I'm sure you're some scammin' Frenchie S.O.B.  Even if you ARE a woman, there's no way you're amazing.  Please don't flatter yourself.

Won't Let You Down - OK Go

#1 AND #2 On The Charts!

"It's catchy Mr. Clark, and I could dance to it. I'll give it an 85!"

Public service reminder brought to you by the folks at King County, Washington.

October 25, 2014

Sunshine Of Your Love - Cream

At the Royal Albert Hall 2005

R.I.P. Jack Bruce

cygnet



cygnet\ SIG-nit \ noun

1. a young swan


I knew this word, even before I started dreaming about winning the lottery. I recently found a nice live water "ranch" that I'd like to buy if I ever did hit the lottery, Swann Ranch near Winnsboro in N. Texas. (It's "only" $2.9 million) If I'm ever lucky enough to be able to buy a place with a small lake or pond, I'd want to buy some ducks and a few geese and since the entrance gates have black swans fabricated out of metal on them, I'd want to get swans to match. Hey, I'd be rich, so....


I'd have to be rich, not only to buy the multi-million dollar ranch and homes, but to buy a breeding pair of Australian Black Swans - $2,250 for the pair.

October 24, 2014

The Bandrum: A New Folk Instrument

exiguous



exiguous \ ig-ZIG-yoo-uhs, ik-SIG- \ adjective

1. scanty; meager; small; slender: exiguous income .


Exiguous could certainly describe the number of visitors to this pathetic excuse for a blog as well as the sum of its quality content. It could apply to many things in my life, esp. the example of income, my hair, my intellect, my talents, my accomplishments and my ambition. It couldn't be used to define my large volume of character faults, though.

October 23, 2014

A Lot of Naked People

It's estimated that 80% of the images on the 'net are porn.

I personally estimate that most of the rest are of cats.


October 22, 2014

pavonine


pavonine \ PAV-uh-nahyn, -nin \ adjective

1. of or like a peacock.
2. resembling the feathers of a peacock, as in coloring.


Nice descriptive word, but something I think you'd only find in flowery prose: "The young lovers watched the golden orb of the sun sink below the far away darkening horizon, framed by the pavonine rainbow."