Welcome to ToTG!

February 29, 2012

Having a Ball

Ouch. At least he still has one. OTOH, he'll never be able to again say "Y'know, I'd give my right testicle to...."

Suing for the loss of a testicle - can't say as I blame him. I'd just hope the lost testicle wouldn't be introduced as evidence in court.

He's really lucky to have lost just the one. If he'd lost both, he would have to change his name to "Sue".

I published this post, then remembered a joke. (What else is new?)

Two cannibals had ambushed a missionary and had sat down to eat him. One cannibal told the other that when they ate someone, he always got less because the other ate faster and always got to eat more. They agreed to start on opposite ends and finish off in the middle.

Munching along, the cannibal who started at the head said to the one who started at the feet: "Hey, how's it goin'?"

"I'm having a ball!" replied the other cannibal.

 "Slow down!" admonished the one cannibal. "You're still eating too fast!"

Update: saw this article earlier: Crocodile bites off man's testes

Wow, my internet has been going nuts here lately. Just saw this recommendation when I was shopping Amazon earlier.

3B Scientific W43014 Testicle Self Exam Form

Wonder if they know something I don't?

Wow, too strange. Got this email earlier:


1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3. The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.


6. The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.


The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

February 28, 2012

It Sucks When It Blows

Got out to pay some bills earlier and driving back home, saw this stop sign; it looked like the scene from "Close Encounters" where the alien ship is making the mailboxes and signs shake. It's a little blurry because I took it looking through the windshield. (I didn't want to step outside!) The weatherman just said Amarillo had had gusts of 62mph.

Just up the street, heading into town, is a reduced speed zone down to 35 mph. I got off the gas, but had to use the brake to get under the speed limit!

Too bad I wasn't making a trip heading that direction...would've got the best gas mileage ever! The only people who love these sort of days are those who own wind turbines.

February 20, 2012

How Long - Ace

Was going through my mp3 jukebox and listened to this song I hadn't thought of in a long time. Always loved the melody and the lyrics which surely came from a heartbreak of the songwriter. I read a little about it while searching for the video; I was surprised to see it wasn't as big a hit in the UK as it was in the US.

February 14, 2012

Mystery Ingredient

One of my favorite recipe sites is Recipe Lion. It offers a newsletter, a recipe box to save your favorites in, specialty and holiday recipe collections in downloadable pdf format and many other features.

In today's newsletter, one recipe caught my eye: (because I'm a poor man) Poor Man's Steak. I clicked on the link in the email and went to the site, hoping that it would be a recipe worthy of saving. It seemed easy enough and sounded like it would be a tasty and inexpensive dish to prepare.  I saved the recipe, then had a closer look at the ingredients. Here's what I saw:

One of what? A can of some other soup? A diced onion? The finger you lopped off slicing up the loaf? A mystery ingredient, indeed.

I worry about "mystery ingredients" when I get fast food at places where it looks like just teenagers are working

Holidays for the Lonely

Laura Kightlinger: Holidays for the Lonely:

It goes: Christmas, New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day. Is that fair to anyone who's alone? Those are all days when you gotta be with someone. And if you didn't get around to killing yourself at Christmas or New Year's -- boom! there's Valentine's Day for you. I think there should be just one more holiday after Valentine's Day, just for the stragglers -- and it should be called, Who Could Love You?

February 12, 2012


From the Word of the Day:

auscultation - aus·cul·ta·tion [aw-skuhl-tey-shuhn];noun

Medicine/Medical .

1. the act of listening, either directly or through a stethoscope or other instrument, to sounds within the body as a method of diagnosis.

I'm sure this would be a great technique for diagnosing heart or lung problems, perhaps even something to do with the circulatory system,  but since I'm no medical expert, I can't think of any other problems that could be figured out by sound. When my bones creak and pop, I know that's just a sign of old age.

I guess having a chronic gas problem could be diagnosed by sound, but I figure smelling it would be the first clue.

February 10, 2012


Since I'm ranting about Facebook.... (see post just below this one)

I ran across a great new word the other day: Vaguebooking

From Urban Dictionary: An intentionally vague Facebook status update, that prompts friends to ask what's going on, or is possibly a cry for help.

Mary is: "wondering if it is all worth it"

Mark is: "thinking that was a bad idea"

I used to get those from a couple of my younger family members who are Facebook friends. Even though I didn't know what they were talking about, I chalked it up to teenaged angst. I'd message them "What's wrong?" and usually get a vague reply. "Oh, just life isn't fair." or something similar.

Yep, teenaged angst.

I've got a Facebook friend, a grown woman only a couple years younger than me, who does it too, though. That's when it's annoying. Her vague Facebook posts almost always are something like: "Don't judge me! You don't know what I'm going through!" or variations on the same theme. At first, I and other of her Facebook friends would ask her what was wrong, tell her we were there for her, etc. I've quit responding and most others have, too.

Frankly, it pisses me off. If you're angry enough with someone to post something like that, name them! Hell, I'd enjoy some drama and dissension far more than I do these vague threats.

It's my humble opinion that she craves the attention.  Maybe she thinks a majority of her Facebook friends should reply to each and every one of her posts and this is the way to see who reads her wall.  She's one of those people, however, who shares a dozen or more things each and every day.  I share stuff, too, but try to keep it at a minimum - to share things I find really odd or funny. 

(I belong to a group whose owner posts at least two dozen times/day. It's almost overwhelming.  The worst thing is she constantly re-posts things.  She does change them up some, though.  Some weeks it's bluebonnets, others it's George Strait photos.  Enough! I enjoy the group otherwise. I just wish she'd focus more on quality than quantity)

Since finding the new word "vaguebooking", I've been trying to think of one for the posts people do far too often; the "if you're my friend" type, the ones that implore you to re-post and share that post.  I'm thinking something along the lines of "disgracebooking" because of the way they try to shame you into re-posting.

Stop It!

If you use Facebook - as do many of my friends and family who follow me in this blog - you've probably received a request to play a game. Now, I spend far too much time online as it is and already have too many addictions websites I visit every day and don't need to spend even more time playing games. I recently had a games request from a long-time online friend's son and hated to turn it down, but felt I had to. I probably should have messaged him to say why I didn't want to play the game.

It's not just that, though; if you use Facebook, you've probably noticed strange messages on friend's walls, saying they've entered a contest and you should too, or you need to view some video or visit some link where you'll see something "Shocking!". Sometimes it's even posted on your own wall. Those are the "rogue" applications that can take over your account. What's worse, if you click on the link and your computer isn't completely protected, you stand a good chance of having some nasty malware installed.

For example, I just got a request from a Facebook "friend" to install an application - it was a game called "Messages From God". Now, if I want a message from God, I'll pray for one. He's seen fit to send me messages before, some I didn't want to hear.

Anyway, here's a screenshot of the request. I cut out the application name while I was deleting my personal information.(I wasn't going to name it, but since they don't care about MY privacy, why should I theirs?)

Click graphic for larger view

As you can see, the application wants permission to access your basic information, even when you're not using the app.  If you accept the app., you also grant it permission to send you email...IOW, to spam you.  Since it can access your Facebook friend's information, that means it can also spam them. Since using Facebook, my email has had a ten-fold increase in spam.  I'm certain that some of the applications my "friends" have installed are responsible.

That's not all;  as I mentioned earlier, you're also giving the application permission to post "on your behalf".  That's not only annoying to me, it infuriates me. (I post enough stupid stuff as it is - I don't need an application doing it for me.)

I've blocked the application and blocked any more application requests from my Facebook "friend".  (to paraphrase an old adage: "With friends like that, you might as well have an enema")  I've posted on my wall several times that I don't play games, don't want to be sent requests.  *Some* people don't care - or read - what you post, seems like.  If I get one more request from her, I'll just unfriend and block HER.

Facebook - other than that - is a great social media, but they sure need to do something about the security issues. It would also be nice to be able to just go into your settings and block ALL application requests.

February 6, 2012

Prop Bets on the Super Bowl

I'm not a gambler, not unless you count buying lottery tickets when the jackpot is huge or the occasional scratch ticket if I have a spare dollar or two, but I've always been fascinated by proposition bets (AKA "prop bets") They're specific bets on certain things happening in the game, such as heads/tails on the coin flip and who wins the toss, who scores first and whether it be by pass or run.

The first score was on a safety and that paid 50-1. Would've been nice to have a thousand dollars on that prop bet...but who in their right mind would have risked that much money? I guess someone who wasn't in their right mind and/or had a lot of money to risk. Not me. (I don't have that kind of money, but many say I'm not in my right mind. The odds on that are pretty much even)

Other bets were more esoteric, such as would Kelly Clarkson's bare belly be showing when she sings the national anthem? Will she forget any words to the song? How long will it last? (on the last - Odds: Over 1 Minute 35 Seconds (-115), Under 1 Minute 35 Seconds (-115) )

You could even place a bet on who the MVP will thank first. (Odds: God (+125), Teammates (+200), Does not thank anyone (+250), Coaches/Owner (+400), Family (+500)  I think it was a pretty safe wager that he'd say "I'm going to Disney World!"

There were over/under bets on who many times Tom Brady's wife appeared on TV and if they'd show his son AND if he would be wearing a Brady jersey. (I didn't look those or a few others up, sorry. If you're really interested, I'm sure you could find that information. I'm just hittin' the highlights.)

What color will the Gatorade be that is dumped in the winning head coach? Odds: Clear (Even), Yellow (+200), Orange (+250), Lime Green (+550), Red (+800), Blue (+1000). I haven't had any Gatorade in years and years, not since my own football days. I once drank too much of it after a practice and promptly threw it all back up. It was orange colored, btw.

The prop bets don't end with the game's end, either; you could also place a bet on where the Dow Jones Average will be on the day after the game. Speaking of the Dow Jones: I've always thought the stock market was the most extreme form of gambling....well, that, and cheating on your spouse. Wonder what the odds would be on who would shoot you first? Your spouse or the spouse of the person you cheated with?

More prop bets at: Super Bowl 2012 Prop Bets: The Weirdest Ways to Make Money

Bogus Barclays Bank Bilking

This was in my spam folder earlier; it's not the first similar one I've seen, but it got me to wondering just how many people fall for this scam

Important Security Message !!

Barclays Bank Plc.

Dear Customer, Your account is suspended due to the number of incorrect login attempts. For your protection, we've suspended your account .

To reactivate your account please download the document attached to this e-mail to review your account activity.

If not completed until February 07, we will be forced to close your account .

Note: If you received these e-mail in your BULK/SPAM section please add to your address book member@barclays.co.uk

Thank you,
Customer Support Service.

Copyright © Barclays IBank Plc. Limited.
All rights reserved.

Of course, I don't live in the UK nor do I have a bank account there. I guess they just use a "shotgun" mailing, sending to harvested email addresses in hopes they'll find a few who DO have an acct. with Barclays. Note the official copyright notice - added there to put someone at ease and convince them it was an "official" mailing.

I wouldn't open up that attachment for a hundred bucks...or pounds, even. They can just go ahead and "close" my account.  I'm probably overdrawn, anyway.

50-50 Weather

This was today's question at StartSampling, one of the websites I visit every day. I've posted about it before, but for anyone who isn't familiar with the site, it features recipes, contests, trivia and a daily poll. (which is great for me, because those are among my favorite things) Today's poll question is about the weather and as you can see, the responses were equally divided.

I reluctantly voted for the hotter temperature; I'd rather it be somewhere in the middle, even an avg. of the two - somewhere around 70 degrees. Even though 105 deg. is too warm, I'd rather suffer through the heat than sub-freezing temps.

OTOH, my grandpa worked out in all sorts of weather and he always said he'd rather work in the cold than the heat.  His reasoning was you could always put on more clothes, but there were only so many you could take off. 

I never cared for working in either extreme; during frigid weather I've worn so many clothes it was hard to move and during really hot weather I sweat like crazy, pouring down into my eyes where I can't see.  (I've heard people say they "sweat like a pig" or dog, but pigs and dogs don't sweat) I've never worked at a job where I could take off nearly all my clothes, but if I did, I think I'd like to work with a bunch of women.

February 3, 2012

Vive les femmes poilues!

Saw a photo of a beautiful fighter jet earlier today; it was identified as a French Dassault Rafale

I'm not so sure it's a French plane, though.

There's no hair under the wings.

February 2, 2012

Late Arrival for the Soul Train

I was saddened last night to hear of the suicide of Soul Train host Don Cornelius.

Soul Train was a favorite Saturday afternoon program of mine and I liked watching it more than I did the popular American Bandstand. The dancing was better and I preferred Motown over the mostly pop music featured on Bandstand.

Thinking of Cornelius made me think of Soul Train which in turn made me remember a black guy I used to know.  I had known him (lets call him "Freddy") since high school; he was an excellent basketball player and all-around athlete.  He lost a chance at a big school scholarship when his team was playing its biggest rival and one of the opposing players called him a racial slur.  Freddy knocked the guy on his butt and was immediately ejected from the game - the other team's intent.  Later, the player apologized to Freddy and told him his coach had told him to say what he did. 

After high school, Freddy got mixed up with drugs and lost two very well-paying jobs and it was after getting fired the second time that he approached me for a job.  At the time, I was drilling the daylight shift on a rig;  my immediate boss was a mutual friend of Freddy's and I figured he had told Freddy that I needed another hand.

With much misgiving, I told Freddy that I'd hire him, but he needed to know that the drilling superintendent was of another generation and had many of the prejudices of his era.  Oh, he wasn't what I'd call an extreme bigot, because he had hired a crew of Hispanics, but he did make some inappropriate jokes behind their backs.

Freddy said he didn't care, he really needed the job and that he'd work hard and would, when possible, stay away from the boss and try to prove himself. 

I nodded, but went on to warn him that I expected him to be on time when I picked him up in the morning.  I told him we left very early, leaving in plenty of time to allow for a sensible driving speed and time enough to stop at the store before leaving town.  He asked when we left and I told him the time - he winced, but still was steadfast that he needed the job.  Again I warned him that I wouldn't wait on him, that I'd leave town without him if he wasn't ready and that I'd fire him if I had to wait on him more than once.  He assured me that he wouldn't let me down.

I'd roughnecked with Freddy before and knew he had drank beer on the job.  I warned him that wasn't tolerated and neither would be drug use on the location.  He promised he wouldn't do either.

We stood there in silence for a minute, me wondering if he would hold up his end of the bargain and I think he was wondering the same thing.  He then asked what time we got back to town after work.

"Depends." I replied. "If the relief gets there on time and everybody doesn't dally around and no one has to stop to use the bathroom or get beer or a coke on the way home, we roll into town around four or so." (It was a long drive) I went on:

"Since you live closest to me, I would pick you up first and drop you off last, just makes the most sense and saves me time and distance picking up/dropping off the crew. You'd probably get home around 4:30."

Freddy didn't hesitate. "I can't work for you." he said with an abrupt turnaround. "Why not?" I asked, incredulous with his change-of-heart.

"Soul Train starts at 4." he said. "I can't miss Soul Train."
Edit to add: I bumped into Freddy's cousin the other day while getting water. We exchanged the usual pleasantries, asking about one another's families and all that and I was pleased to hear that Freddy was living in another state and was clean and drug-free and had a family. The guy told me he (him, not Freddy) had been working in a local grocery store and had thought he had seen me there, but wasn't for sure if it was me. I told him "Well, you know all us white boys look alike." He laughed and said "You still crazy, for sure!"

February 1, 2012

Happy Groundhog & Garazon Day!

A"bump" since I'm too busy celebrating Groundhog Day to actually put up a new post about it.

(have to use a graphic because Blogger won't let me put in those special characters) means "grin" in IM chat or forum posts, but it in this case it also stands for "Garazon", one of my best and long-time online pals. The G for grin was first used by our mutual friend, Brad and I guess Garazon and I picked it up around the same time. It became a "nickname for the nickname" for me with Garazon and that's how I started abbreviating his screen name.

Garazon and I "met" in MSN Groups, but started to become good friends when he made a flashy Halloween page for his group, complete with embedded midi sound file and some other special effects. Making a page was one of my goals when I first got online and I was determined to learn how to do it, so I started asking Garazon all sorts of questions. I'm sure he grew weary of me bothering him, but he should have been flattered if he had only known how hard it was...and still is...for me to ask for assistance. 

I hope we don't ever lose touch, but even if we do, I'll always remember Garazon because of our time in Groups and that he once said Groundhog Day was one of his favorite holidays. I don't remember exactly WHY he said it was, but I thought that was very funny and every year since we met a dozen years ago in Groups, I always think of him on this day.

The 1993 Bill Murray movie Groundhog Day is also one of my favorite flicks and I try to watch it whenever it's on. I link to IMDb often when I post about movies, but sometimes I get so annoyed when reading posts about my favorite movies; the site is full of argumentative and insulting posts.  I can understand contention when discussing politics and religion, but movies?  Good Grief.  It gets extremely nasty when a movie contains plot elements of either of those two subjects and sometimes people try to interject one or the other into the discussion when there's no reason to do so.

Anyway...just heard on the news that the groundhog saw his shadow and there will be six more weeks of bad weather.  That doesn't mean much here in the Texas Panhandle; it was a beautiful, fairly warm day yesterday but this evening is supposed to bring freezing temps and rain and possibly snow.