Definite Difference # 000000000000001
Do you know the difference between a Texas Tall Tale and a fairy tale?
A fairy tale begins with:
"Once upon a time...."
A Texas Tall Tale takes this tactful tack thusly:
"Now, this ain't no crapola...."
June 30, 2007
Definite Difference # 000000000000001
"We" want to be FFF, so this is why we're announcing our CCCC, the official ToTG
Crude Comment Control Credo
This will be a preliminary proper posting procedure, so keep this page in your preferences, please and check back frequently for further fundamentals.
"We" have decided that none of the usual, vulgar expressions will be tolerated. Bathroom humor (or "humour" if you are British or Canadian or Australian or New Zealandish) WILL be allowed, but without any curse words.
You Monty Python fans will have to get your favorite/favourite filthy fart fix from elsewhere, I'm afraid.
(ooops...I said "fart". Never again, I promise with my fearless, frivilous frequent fervor/fervour, my friend)
"Crapola" is an accepted adjective and/or adverb and can thusly be used in this context:
"His cranium contains crapola." ... which of course would substitute for "SFB".
I'm tired of being called that. Talk about labels. I'm going to usurp that unusually ugly ubiquity.
We have a weekly test of our emergency broadcast system as well as a simultaneous announcement on the loudspeakers around town. It's at Saturday noon, just listened to it a few minutes ago, in fact. The loudspeakers are easily heard, they are strategically placed all over town and also double as sirens in case of disasters such as tornadoes. I forget which signals are which but I betcha I could figger it out quick enough if sumpthin' was happenin'.
My nephew "Garf" has been up here when the things have gone off. He has commented that it smacks of "Big Brother". Clever young man, great observation and analogy, he takes after his uncle. One of his other ones, not me. Standing outside, the audio effect is almost surreal as more than one loudspeaker can be heard but they're not quite "synched" and it's almost like a reverb on an electric guitar or an echo at the Grand Canyon.
(or the echo I hear when I visit the dentist and he ubiquitously says:
"That's the biggest cavity I've ever SEEN SEEN seen seen seen seen seen!" )
The cable TV interruption is annoying, especially when it breaks into a good movie. (or during Antiques Roadshow when they're fixin' to tell something they brought in a POS) We get an annoying, squealing alarm that starts off the announcement, then the dispatcher down at the police dept. breaks in in real time and informs us this is indeed, a test, if this was a real test, yada, yada, yada. I'm always hopin' for a few bars of "Saturday, in the park...I think it was the 4th of July."
BTW, it's generally always been a female dispatcher, at least it's a feminine-sounding voice.... A woman's voice is supposed to be more calming than a man's, but I suppose that's discounting some hysterical woman screaming in your ear.
It's only happened once that I recall, but I remember some severe weather happening one Saturday just before noon and watching frequent interruptions of the regular broadcast with weather warnings. Just as they broke in and announced the sighting of a tornado in this county, "they" went ahead with the regularly scheduled test of the emergency system.
My panic attack was less than many others, I heard. At least I got that goin' for me.
Oh yeah, and one more annoying thing, I can think of others, but they also repeat the broadcast over the loudspeakers in Spanish. I guess that's for "them" that's more of a doofus than me.
Just noticed this when linking to the Texas Monthly website; it's part of their top header graphic.
Beyond MY expectations? Let's survey: just what have I come to expect from Mexico? Discounting a flood of illegal aliens, err... "undocumented Americans", I've come to expect corruption at the highest levels of govt. to the lowest, a "wink-wink, nudge-nudge" attitude towards mutual co-operation concerning our border and dirt weed that probably isn't worth smoking, much less smuggling.
(EDIT: Come to think of it after reading what I wrote, that could describe this govt. in two of the three)
Oh yeah, and a good source of illegal and ozone-destroying Freon for older cars that haven't been converted. (and I've read Freon has surpassed marijuana as the number one smuggled item, discounting illegal aliens, of course)
I've never visited boo-way-no Meh-he-co, but I would expect that if I DID visit one of the sleezy border towns, I would expect to wake up with a tequila hangover, an empty wallet and no wristwatch, a tattoo of a senorita on my chest and God-Forbid, a burning sensation when I ....
I thought today was Friday until a little while ago when I checked my computer's clock and calendar.
Easy mistake, I suppose, until one considers I was goofing around with my Day/Date images thing for several hours.
"They" say time flies when you're having fun.
It goes pretty fast when you're just goofin' off, too.
Reported by: Micah Taylor
Friday, Jun 22, 2007 @04:11pm
(Note: Inserted links below are my own, also be aware of Wiki Warning)
AMARILLO -- Texas Monthly magazine came out Friday, and a couple of our local legislators are in it.
It's called Best and Worst Legislators of 2007.
Representative Warren Chisum of Pampa is on the worst list. The writer says Chisum got in a position of power and did not set a good example. Chisum says the article is one man's opinion, and he's confident with his performance.
Over on the best list -- Amarillo Representative John Smithee made honorable mention.
There's also an article in there about Palo Duro Canyon.
No, not the football team in Philadelphia. The only way they're going to be mentioned in here is if...when...Dallas stomps 'em twice this next year. I refuse to link to their website and will probably never even mention the Liberty Bell.
Yes, that's how badly....
I'm talking about the Bald Eagle, that iconic symbol of America. It seems as though the proud bird has been taken off the endangered species list. I am so happy for that.
They don't taste as good as spotted owl, but....
I followed a link on my Panhandle news feed on the side and saw an article about the Fourth is a Fourth is a Fourth and decided to read it. ( couldn't pass up the alliteration, u c )
Pahrump was where the website was based, the town in Nevada. I knew I had heard that word before, but I was thinkin' it was like a father's admonishment at the turn of the last century. "You want to wear something less than 14 petticoats and a hem that will show your ankles? I forbid it! Pahrump!" (although I think I'm getting that mixed up with "Hurrumph!")
And I'm talking about LAST century, not this one. Anyway....
I wondered why the feed indexed a Nevada town (or that muttered, mild, massively mature mad mumble) then saw McLean being mentioned and this nice little paragraph about the Panhandle:
Just a minor personal discovery, but did you know that in the last few years, the Great Plains have shifted west several hundred miles?
Well, that is what it seemed like the other week when I was gone east on vacation. In the past, when I was a mere visitor to the Southwest, I would reach central Oklahoma and think, "Wow, the great wide open."
But now I've been out here, overall, for nearly two years without a break, and driving through the Texas Panhandle, quite a mental turnaround took place. I was hardly past Amarillo when I began noticing more green -- deep green grass up the knees of cattle, tall trees in woodlines and residential areas around, say, McLean. And long before I hit the Sooner State, I felt back amidst the foliage. By the point I passed by Henryetta, the plains were a memory.
I'm wondering if his "mental turnaround" was for the better, or for the worse? Only a Panhandler would concede to either way.
(Note: This is a couple of days old, sorry 'bout that. I did give some consideration to going to this game, I've never attended an arena football game in person. I did something equally time-consuming, though, worked on this blog )
Despite having a former Dallas Cowboys quarterback in the starting lineup, the Bossier-Shreveport Battle Wings aren't expecting a warm welcome tonight in the Amarillo Civic Center.
"We've been Googled," said a re-energized Battle Wings coach Jon Norris on Monday after his coach's show. "They've Googled me, they've Googled Quincy, they've Googled everybody on our team to find out as much as they can about us.
"They'll be wanting to get under our skin. They Google because there's nothing much else to do in Amarillo."
Norris, of course, was referring to the Internet search engine that allows you find out everything from how to raise peaches to how to build a fertilizer bomb.
Google up Battle Wings quarterback Quincy Carter and you find out first that his given name is Lavonya Quintelle "Quincy" Carter. On his first game back two weeks ago after a four-game layoff, Carter threw for a franchise record eight touchdown passes in an 81-35 victory.
If the Dusters want to make fun of Carter's name, they might want to think again. Carter's not a guy that you want to provide with additional motivation.
Google up defensive end Elex Reed and you find out that he played collegiately at Mary Hardin-Baylor. Ohio State, USC or Oklahoma it ain't and Mary Hardin won't strike fear in opposing offensive linemen.
But if the Dusters plan on making fun of Reed's soon-to-be alma mater, they can expect the same wrath that other af2 teams have come to dread. Reed has a wide lead in the 30-team af2 in sacks (15.5) and tackles for a loss (20.5).
Google up Jon Norris and you find out about a guy who is a graphic designer, artist, photographer, sculptor, and musician. There's another "Jon Norris" who has reviewed 61 items, including some Target shelving, on Amazon.com. Neither of those Norris guys coach the Battle Wings.
For harassment purposes, the latter Jon Norris is listed on the ArenaFan Web site as a 6-foot-3, 260-pound lineman, who played at American International and then played in the AFL for several seasons. There wasn't much else found to gig the guy who has turned the Battle Wings from a cellar dweller to a title contender in one short year.
With the Battle Wings on a roll and standing just a gnat's hair away from clinching the first playoff game in franchise history, the Amarillo Dusters would be well-advised to keep their Google razzing to a minimum.
FOND MEMORIES: The game at Amarillo will be a homecoming of sorts for Norris and for offensive coordinator Jon Lyles. Norris coached Lyles at Panhandle State University in Goodwell, Okla., located just a short drive from Amarillo.
"Amarillo had the closest mall for my wife to drive to," Norris said. "In Goodwell, we had a 26-mile drive to get a carton of milk. We hope there'll be a crowd driving down to watch us coach."
While at Panhandle State, Norris led the first-year NCAA Division II school to its inaugural victories over NCAA Division I-AA and Division II opponents. Lyles was the assistant head coach for the Dusters during their championship run in the IPFL.
QUINCY TIME: What did Quincy Carter do during the team's recent bye week?
"I stayed around here working and hanging out," said Carter, who was busy selling ArenaCup tickets on Tuesday afternoon.
NINJA'S RETURN: Several Battle Wings players will also be returning to a homey site tonight. Linemen Nick Codutti, Greg Hodges and Kert Turner, along with Kendrick Walker, previously played for the Dusters.
Turner, one of Norris' offensive line "ninja's," was a late-season offensive line pickup for the Wings and has been instrumental in filling in for injured players. Walker was on pace to be one of the top defensive backs in the af2 until he was sidelined with an injury. He could return in the next couple of weeks.
AMARILLO BY MORNING: The Battle Wings departed the CenturyTel Center about 11 p.m. on Wednesday for the nine-plus hour drive on a sleeper bus to Amarillo for today's 7:30 p.m. contest.
"We'll wake up in Amarillo, get some breakfast, then go about our regular routine," Norris said.
OLD TOWN HOEDOWN
Date: Jun 30, 2007 (Saturday)Time: 4:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Location: Old Mobeetie Jail Museum in Old Mobeetie, Texas
Come visit the Texas Pahandle during the late 1800's! The Old Town Hoedown will feature reenactments of panhandle hero Billy Dixon. The Regiment of the High Plains will also be on hand to perform cavalry maneuvers on horseback and discuss the history of Fort Elliott. Also - Living History Exhibits, such as gunsmithing, metal smithing, wood working, trading post, songs from late 1800's and Chuckwagon fajita meal! Games for children - Arrowhead hunt, Corn Cob Darts, Horseshoes and more! This is a fundraiser for the museum.
ADMISSION: is $12 for adults, $6 for 5-12 and 4 and under are FREE. Price includes the meal and entertainment!
This promises to be a event to remember, so come on out and enjoy the fun! The museum is located just off Hwy 152 approx. 90 east of Amarillo; 32 miles east of Pampa or 10 miles west of Wheeler, depending on which direction your wagon's heading.
See you there!
(editors note: Not me, I just copied this info)
Old Mobeetie Texas Association
There is nothing so comfortable as money, - but nothing so defiling if it be come by unworthily; nothing so comfortable, but nothing so noxious if the mind be allowed to dwell upon it constantly. If a man have enough, let him spend it freely. If he wants it, let him earn it honestly.
The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.
I'm a little chuffed (one of those British words for proud and equally alliterative if need be) of my Date/Images thing I put in at the top.
Tomorrow brings a new month, so we'll see if it still works. Might be some kinda mid-summer Y2K thing and crash everyone's 'puter.
The script isn't "simple", but it's basic copy and paste. I love Notepad, a simple app for a simple mind. (I'm not so great at Tic-Tac-Toe)
I had to have SOME alliteration, but...
I left out pantyhose and pornography, 'pert near all the particular peversions.
I really like it that I now get to "Publish Post". That's permitted me to promptly and proudly proclaim this passive post "pleasingly perfect".
I wish this photo could've better captured the contrast between the white of the freshly-laid caliche road and the dark and cloudy western sky at dawn. Maybe one of these days I'll learn the supposedly idiot-proof settings on my camera. Seems to me as if Sunset works best for Dawn, though.
Taken just off of Hwy 70 on 6/28/07
Pivot irrigation system backlit by a glorious Panhandle sunrise.
If you click on the photo and see the larger version, you will probably also notice the ubiquitous telephone lines marring the shot. I hate those things.
Taken 6/28/07 North of Pampa on Hwy 70
But around here it's a sin to kill a bull snake
They're not venomous, but they can be aggressive if bothered and annoyed. They eat mice and rats and even rabbits if they can catch them, but they're best at consuming and thereby thinning out the local population of rattlesnakes.
This was taken last summer on a Roberts county road very near where I was raised. This was a healthy creature, probably six + foot long.
I think this was the last Christmas we all were together.
Since that time, we've gained three new family members, but lost Mother & Dad.
This was taken with my first digital camera, setting the timer each time for each shot, then running back into the frame and trying to assume the same position, more-or-less. Some of us did better at that than others.
BTW, I'm the fat, balding doofus on the far-right. The best at holding her spot was my niece-in-law, second from the right, second row, and also my niece in the middle. A rock, that girl, just like Momma at the back, middle. The other is a bit twitchy; she must get that from her Uncle Mike, bless her. Just kidding...She's a beautiful girl, inside and out, as is the other one. Heck, everyone in my family is pretty 'cept for my BIL and me. I'm beating him on the balding, but he's got me on the belly bit.
As soon as I got home that evening, I downloaded the photos to my computer, then put them together with IrfanView and UnFreeze and made that animation, then e-mailed it to my momma. I called her to tell her to check her mail and heard them all giggling like crazy. It was worth the response.
(my big sister said that our BIL, on the far-left, looked to be doing something obscene)
My sisters are taking a trip to NYC at the end of the week. I wasn't asked to go and I'm sure that's because they knew I would decline. It also could've been, since they're both older, that they remember much shorter trips with a much shorter me where I whined all the way there and back.
Besides that, I went to NYC a year or so ago, just after downloading the Google Earth program. Ain't the Internet great?
First, I zoomed out from the Panhandle, took a good look at North America.
(click any pic for a larger view, then use your back button to return. Need to see about "new window" script to add to posts w/ photos/screenshots/links)
Then I zoomed in on the Eastern Seaboard; the topography is fascinating to me, especially the Niagara Escarpment.
Wow, Long Island really IS long, ain't it?
Down, down, down to the Big Apple.
Going to the max resolution, one can even see ships in the Hudson River. This tanker is on the NY side of the state line with New
Over to the Statue of Liberty.
A literal birds-eye view, no crowds, no admittance fee.
(and no Staten Island Ferry. We'll leave off the jokes)
Zoom out, get our bearings, use the hybrid view for the streets of Manhattan.
(this is the Christopher Cross satellite; it's the one between the moon and New York City)
Zoom in a little bit more; hey, there's Broadway!
(give my regards, etc. Couldn't make out Joe)
Note the wakes of the ships and other smaller watercraft. I dunno 'bout the Hudson, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to water-ski in the East River.
Let's get a closer look at that empty spot.
We must never forget.
If I travelled to New York City, I'm sure I would want to do the same things my family is doing; take in a Yankees game, a Broadway play, visit the Empire State Building...all the "touristy things"... but if I couldn't visit the WTC site it wouldn't have been worth going all that way.
(I'm fairly certain there's a double negative in that last sentence, but you do know what I mean, don't you? Do you? Do you not? )
I'm sure my family is planning on stopping by the site. When I sent my "big sis" those screenshots above, she sent me the link to some Times Square Webcams.
She said she'd wave at me.
I'm getting the hang of these things; I found the archive so past posts can be more easily searched (although why you'd want to do that, I haven't a clue) and discovered that by clicking the logo on top after going to a particular post's "page" (and I set it that way, I hope it's the best way) you can return to the "home" page.
I *think* these are Russian thistles; I asked my friend Barb - who should know, since she teaches botany- and she said they called them "Canadian" thistles where she lives. It makes me think that this is one of those cases where the things might very well be "American" thistles" in Canada or Russia, or "Texas Thistles" in Oklahoma.
June 29, 2007
A great place to check your 'net connection and even supplies the code to paste the results in your webpage or blog.
I'm fairly happy with my DSL service; I've had SBC for a couple of years and have had little trouble or outages.
I get faster speeds than the local cable provides at a cheaper price, too.
Life is good.
(click for larger size)
I took these three photos and put them together.
I wish they could have seen it. Not to brag on my "talent"...
(I know better than that, my dad wouldn't have been overtly
and/or overly impressed but my mom...well, you know moms
She would've printed it out and put it on the fridge)
...but to show them that I loved 'em enough to have done it.
I miss 'em.
June 28, 2007
For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee.
Season Shot - Ammo with flavor
What will "they" think of next? Variety is the spice of life, I guess. I suppose it was just a matter of thyme until someone came up with this idea. I hope the guy is getting some sage business advice and not getting peppered with ideas about how best to salt away his money. His wife Rosemary will probably have some say-so in that.
They do have a lovely Flash/Splash intro page.
They need to fix it where the guy accidentally shoots his dog, though.
Custom upholstry, horns included.
At the Palo Duro Canyon amphitheater
Of course you knew it wasn't real, but wouldn't that be cool markings for a Longhorn steer? I saw a cowdog one time that had a mark on its head just like Mikhail Gorbachev.
My ex had so many freckles that you could, with a felt-tip pen and some imagination, trace a pretty good map of the Solar System on her forearm. Of course, you needed her co-operation, too, and that was pretty hard to come by on most anything I wanted to do. (Yes, most anything.) I dunno, you might have better luck. There were some freckles on her butt...I'd better not get into that.
Another colorful cow
East of Miami, Texas in Roberts County
I have this little ritual I always perform after stopping and taking photos of cattle.
As I leave, I always holler "See ya!" and then, under my breath I mutter:
"On my plate with a side order of asparagus!"
This was taken at the same time and in close proximity to this calf. Probably its momma.
Workover rig on the Maddox Ranch
Roberts County, Texas
The grass is new and green because it had been
burned a few months earlier during the out-of-control
prairie fires that broke out all over the Panhandle.
This is about two miles east of where I grew up.
June 27, 2007
(click the pic for larger view)
Yep, it's purdy flat in the Panhandle at first glance and if you've only driven through here via Interstate 40, it's definitely easy to get that impression from the monotonous scenery from that route. Just south of Amarillo though, is Palo Duro Canyon, the second largest canyon in the US and to the north is the rugged Canadian River basin.
It's understandable why this is labeled "Tornado Alley", what with the Rockies on the right creating a funnel for storm systems and nothing but a three strand barbed wire fence between us and the Canadian Arctic and its cool air that sometimes mixes with the warm, humid air rising up the gentle slope from the Gulf of Mexico. It's a recipe for twisters!
This is a royalty-free image from the national weather site.
I went over to the Groom Cross the other afternoon and took a shortcut down this county road and (nearly) ran into this guy, a prairie rattler, about three foot long.
It wouldn't even move when I got out and threw some pebbles at it, didn't even rattle. For a minute, I thought it'd been run over and squished already because it looked so flat near its tail.
I had absolutely nothing longer than my arm on me except the tripod for my camera, and I really didn't want to wave it at the snake, esp. since I would soon be using it.
To be honest, I really didn't want to harm it. Now, if it was in my yard...
I backed up, then drove right alongside it.
It finally started moving a little bit after I poured some water on it and I could finally hear an audible rattle, absolutely spine tingling. If you've ever been walking in tall grass and heard that sound, it will freeze you, root you to the spot!
One of the coolest wallpaper places I've ever seen, based in the UK. Select the part of the body you wish to have the tattoo placed on, type in your name and create something unique for your Desktop.
At least it is for MY desktop.
I've never had a woman tattoo my name on her, anywhere. I'm not sure one has even aimlessly doodled my name in quite some time.
Come to think of it, I expect the last one to do that was most likely using a crayon. It was probably a stick figure drawing of me with horns on my head and dots all over my face, the grade-school equivalent of voodoo.
Here's another one I made with a different part of the lovely lady's body:
It's cool how the Brits spell "parlour" and some other words such as "favour", "flavour" and "endeavour". I shall endeavour to alter the flavour of my prose and favour the British spelling.
They talk cool too, at least the women do. I used to have the hots for Eliza Doolittle, Hayley Mills, too. Come to think of it, I could add Petulia Clark, Lulu and even Twiggy to that list, although I'd have wanted the last to eat a few more fish 'n chips.
I sure like Brit women but I like to think they really like Texas men.
I am thankful for small mercies. I compared notes with one of my friends who expects everything of the universe, and is disappointed when anything is less than the best, and I found that I begin at the other extreme, expecting nothing, and am always full of thanks for moderate goods.- Ralph Waldo Emerson
June 26, 2007
I love to play Hearts. I've never played at any of the online games websites; I wouldn't want to play against "real" people, even if it WAS "only online".
I've had a few perfect games, but this was the very last game I played, not ten minutes ago. I especially love to make ALL of the other "players" break 100 and I did that with this game. It was worth a screenshot.
(I've an online friend who every now 'n then gets a screenshot of an exceptional game from me. She said her late father loved the game and was good at it; I never met the man, but I think of him sometimes when I start to play. Love ya Barb!)
I'm not a great player because I sometimes don't remember the cards that have been played, although I'm getting better. (short-term memory loss, hmmm.....) The game would probably be better if there was some way to view the number of tricks each "player" has. I could better prevent another "player" from catching all the tricks (and there's probably some term for that, but I don't know it; I've never played the game against human opponents)
I say "player" because I am playing against the computer, and I don't know how the game is programmed, but I feel as though it's 3 against 1 sometimes. On a previous computer, I had altered the registry as so when I used some hotkeys, it would reveal the other three's hands.
The names of my opponents aren't from the Disney ducks, but inspired by the 1972 movie Silent Running with Bruce Dern. Dern's character names his helper droids on the greenhouse space station after the Disney characters.
And that would be a rare instance of the use of a second-hand nickname.