October 31, 2007
Ascaryus (Jan 20-Feb 18): This Halloween looks to be a scary one for you. But before you go around crying, "Ooooh, I want my mummy! I want my mummy!" think about this: You want more lovin’, right? Well, if you run around like a scaredycat, you will, to quoth the raven, "Neverscore."
Pieces (Feb 19-Mar 20): Vampires are evil, hypnotic people who will emerge in the night and drain you. Sounds like someone I used to date. You need to be careful because you may have closed the metaphoric coffin lid on a relationship, only to find that this person will rise from the graveyard of your heart to worm their way back into your life. One word of advice from "Buffy The Vampire Slayer": A vampire can only come in if you invite them.
Scaries (Mar 21-Apr 19): You've got to pick up every stitch this Halloween because, unless I miss my guess, it must be the Season of the Witch. If only every holiday could be commemorated with a bad Donovan song. Wouldn't it be great, on Thanksgiving, to sit around the table, giving thanks for the bounty we are to receive by singing a rousing round of "Mellow Yellow"? That is truly the most horrifying thought you can be faced with this Halloween.
Tarot (Apr 20-May 20): Sure, you ladies have been looking for some lovin'. But you don't want to go for just any Tom Dick and Harry. And heaven forfend you go for any Jack you find, especially when that Jack is some hollow-headed grinning gap-toothed idiot. But then again, despite his weird exterior, if you look inside, you'll see a flame burning bright. This might be the season of the witch, but if you try not to act so witchy and look past the odd exterior, you'll find hidden depths in the ugliest places.
OnlyOneEye (May 21- Jun 20): Horror is in the eye of the beholder, whether that eye be bloodshot and yellow, peering at you from the shadows of the night, or whether the eye is a horrible dismembered giant radioactive eye. What is truly scary? A werewolf? A werewolf is not so much a horrible half-man half-beast as a chronic undershaver. A headless horseman is just the victim of a particularly bad hair day. In much the same way, you can find the brighter side of anything that comes your way, no matter how horrific or annoying.
Dancer (Jun 21-Jul 22): Scary is relative, and we don't just mean your crazy relatives who threaten to come visit for six weeks, but rather the idea that whereas a movie with monsters made out of cardboard boxes and paper mache may have been the scariest thing you'd ever seen when you were eight, it now looks like crap. You must get over your initial fears of a new project or relationship; although it seems insurmountable now, if you stick with it, you will eventually be able to overcome it.
Tao (Jul 23-Aug 22): Frankenstein's monster was, of course, made out of the parts of a couple dozen other people, which must have been hell when it came to custody hearings. Nothing's more awkward at a family reunion than having one-tenth of Cousin Harry show up at the buffet. You, too, feel like you're being pulled in twenty different directions, but you'll soon receive the jolt you'll need to get on your feet again.
Vertigo (Aug 23-Sep 22): Pity the poor skeleton who wanders around on Halloween, looking so unfashionable in all-white a full two months after Memorial Day. Of course, he can't help it, and he is actually successful in the love department; after all, he is "ribbed" for her pleasure. This week you'll find that you attract more flies with honey than even dead zombie flesh, and being inherently nice to the opposite sex will make them flock to you like vultures to a skeleton.
Webra (Sep 23-Oct 22): Zombies are pretty well-known for trying to suck the brains out of people's heads. As was every high school algebra teacher I ever had. Coincidence? Considering that those people were always pale on the point of being green, had trouble communicating more than moans and incoherent screams, and had awkward, stumbling walks down the hallway, I think it's lucky I escaped without some horrible "Night of the Living Dead scenario." You escape a horrific fate worse than death , if you can steer clear of boring people at parties.
Scareio (Oct 23-Nov 21): You think you're being slick, but the truth is that you're like a ghost; people can see through you, and all the noise you're making is more effective scaring small children and dogs than actually doing anything. It's time to leave your old haunts and take care of that grave matter that's all your vault.
Sekeltarious (Nov 22-Dec 21): Boo! Scared ya!
Capricandycorn (Dec 22-Jan 19): You're in the zone this week! The Twilight Zone, that is, and it's going to be a creepy thrill ride with an incredibly ironic twist at the end that serves as a commentary on our mixed-up Cold War nuclear society. Don't let the creepy situations you get yourself into this week get you skittish. Let them get you Skittles; why not go Trick-or-Treating? It's fun to dress up, get given stuff, and not have to give ten percent to a big guy named Huggy Bear. And Halloween candy doesn't count as calories!
October 30, 2007
October 29, 2007
This is today's poll on my Dallas Cowboys website; I had read an article, then tried to return to the home page, but the page wouldn't come up. A refresh showed me that the page was being updated and this brand new poll was now on the page and I was the first one to cast a ballot!
Sometimes the poll results are ludicrous, especially as one would think that people who frequent a pro football fansite would probably know more than the average fan.
Anyone who knows anything about football knows that the success of a football team, esp. their success offensively, is directly due to having a dominant O-Line.
So, close the polls. I've supplied the answer.
October 28, 2007
When I was a kid, and ran out of things to read, I would pick up the dictionary, try to increase my vocabulary. Granted, I didn't pick up that many to use in most every-day conversations, but I could generally kick butt in Scrabble.
This blog has a feed down a bit in the left-hand navbar, a Word of the Day from Dictionary.com, and I've never heard of today's entry, valetudinarian
From the website:
noun:1. A weak or sickly person, especially one morbidly concerned with his or her health.
adjective:1. Sickly; weak; infirm.2. Morbidly concerned with one's health.
I loved this example they gave:
Other than the Holy Scripture, he cared for no book as well as the book of decay, its truths written in the furrows scored on the brows of old men and women; in the sagging timbers of decrepit barns; in the lichenous masonry of derelict buildings; in the mangy fur of a valetudinarian lion.
-- Simon Schama, Rembrandt's Eyes
I can use that in a sentence:
"I was the valetudinarian of my senior class."
October 27, 2007
This is a weekly poll in a political forum to which I belong. I seldom post in there, but always go in on Thursdays to participate in this poll. I'm pleased to see that Duncan Hunter, the man I'm supporting and HAVE been supporting for the Republican nomination since he declared, is slowly gaining some traction, at least in that forum.
It's interesting to see people's preferences with these polls and read what they think of each particular candidate. Of course, with my own "slanted" view, I've always known what politicians think of US.
Just turn your head to the right and view the above graphic; you'll see things MY way.
October 26, 2007
October 23, 2007
From the Bulk Folder files:
SGT. JOHN HUNTER
1st Armored Division Iraq
We are American soldiers fighting in Iraq serving in the military of the 1st Armored Division. The saga of rise in death tolls should not be news to you and i am sure you will not find this mail worrisome. We have seen so much in our days of stay here and no matter how much we paint the picture, you will never understand.
During our invasion of Saddam Hussien's family house, we recovered over 30 million United States dollars in cash and mostly in 100 dollar bills. This discovery was not made public neither was it made in one search. Most of the funds were taken by our superiors and we can not authoritatively or emphatically make over statements concerning the money.
But it will interest you to know that we have US$6.5 million dollars which we have safely secured. Now every month we have supplies of food, drinks, blankets etc from aids in Europe,the US and other allegiant countries. These deliveries are made by high commissioners and diplomats. After they have made the delivery to us they naturally depart. Now we have been able to make acquintance with two of the diplomats. These diplomats arrived from USA with supplies to us and are due for departure.
We have safely secured the sum of US$6.5 million dollars in 100 dollar bills in boxes and we will be handing over the money to the diplomats to deliver in USA. Note: the diplomats are not aware of the contents of the boxes and we have informed them that our associate will be picking up the boxes for us in USA. Once you are capable of receiving this, you will have to give us your full names, your phone number and your full contact address as we will pass them on to the Diplomats.
Note also that these diplomats are not American citizens and they will have to call you for the delivering of the fund as soon as they arrive at the Airport as they will only be transiting in USA So once you have gone through this mail. Mail us immediately through this my private email email@example.com and we will work our modalities.
Only one fitting punishment for these scam artists: Castration with a rusty pocket knife.
October 22, 2007
October 21, 2007
This was the summer of '76, I am fairly sure. I had just bought some sort of Instamatic, guess it would've been a Polaroid. The film was horribly expensive and each photo cost nearly a dollar.
These have always been two of my favorite photos, not just because I love my nephews, but they made me think I "might" have an eye for taking a decent photo.
I was deluding myself, but I'll blame that on being young.
October 20, 2007
I am SO happy today!
Can't remember if I told you about the horrid personal attack I rec. after commenting in a political board's HP thread that JK. Rowling *might* have interjected some anti-American bias into her next-to-last book, perhaps even more subtle references in others.
Well, yesterday she came out in an interview and said that Dumbledore was gay.
Here's a bit of the interview:
Did Dumbledore, who believed in the prevailing power of love, ever fall in love himself?
My truthful answer to you... I always thought of Dumbledore as gay. [ovation.] ... Dumbledore fell in love with Grindelwald, and that that added to his horror when Grindelwald showed himself to be what he was. To an extent, do we say it excused Dumbledore a little more because falling in love can blind us to an extend, but he met someone as brilliant as he was, and rather like Bellatrix he was very drawn to this brilliant person, and horribly, terribly let down by him. Yeah, that's how i always saw Dumbledore.
In fact, recently I was in a script read through for the sixth film, and they had Dumbledore saying a line to Harry early in the script saying I knew a girl once, whose hair... [laughter]. I had to write a little note in the margin and slide it along to the scriptwriter, "Dumbledore's gay!" [laughter] If I'd known it would make you so happy, I would have announced it years ago!
PERFECT!!!! This is going to drive that extreme rightwinger outta his gourd. Well, I'm gonna chauffer the jalopy, but...he'll go nuts.
NO WONDER I heard swishing when Dumbledore walked by; I always thought it was his robes. NO WONDER he was so good with his wand; limp wrist, you know. NO WONDER Dumbledore's "wand" was so powerful!
I am going to have SO much fun with this.
Just wish Brad was here to enjoy this too.
October 19, 2007
Open Minesweeper, then press:
Then hold down the "Shift" button for a few seconds.
Now, place your cursor over a box and if there's a mine, there will be a dark spot in the top left-hand corner of your browser window. A light blue, or nearly white pixel means it's safe to choose that square.
This is akin to cheating at solitaire, but it might be a great way to win a bet; tell someone you've never been beaten at Minesweeper, then do this and
take their money amaze them.
I just do it because I don't think I've ever won a single game at Minesweeper.
This effects me on some level, but I'm afraid to try to figure out just what that level is. It might be deeper than I've ever gone before.
I'm a fairly shallow person, so that's not really saying all that much.
What Your Pizza Reveals
Your appetite is that of a sperm whale. You don't eat too much, unless a wheelbarrow is now considered a spoon.
You are a very ugly pizza eater. In fact, I bet you were called "Pizzaface" as a kid, weren't you?
You like food that's either raw or cooked. You aren't impressed with "gourmet" foods because you can't even SPELL "gourmet" much less know what it is.
You are selfish, picayune, and inconsiderate with your lovers.
You are an ill-bred insufferable jerk. You should consider suicide.
The stereotype that least fits you is human being. Your friends secretly agree.
I'm getting extremely annoyed with my local Walmart. Over the course of the last year, they've had the big bags of Splenda on their shelves exactly once. They've got the smaller sizes, the boxes with the individual packages, plus the sugar/Splenda mixes (what's up with that?) but not the large size bag.
I would prefer buying my sweetener there instead of the grocery store as I can save a buck a bag at Walmart. At least the last time I spent an extra dollar I got a free Koolaid spoon.
I did purchase a new item from Splenda, a nifty little dispenser that, with one click, drops a tiny pellet that's equiv. to one half a teaspoon of sugar. For some reason I always think of rabbits pooping in my coffee when I sweeten it.
Just as well, I guess, that I have to monitor my Splenda intake; some say it's toxic.
According to Reuters, internet users in Egypt, India and Turkey Google the word "sex" more than anywhere else in the world.
From the article:
Germany, Mexico and Austria were world's top three searchers of the word "Hitler" while "Nazi" scored the most hits in Chile, Australia and the United Kingdom, data from 2004 to the present retrievable on the "Google Trends" Web site showed.
The top searchers for other keywords were as follows (in order from first to third place):
"Jihad" - Morocco, Indonesia, Pakistan
"Terrorism" - Pakistan, Philippines, Australia
"Hangover" - Ireland, United Kingdom, United States
"Burrito" - United States, Argentina, Canada
"Iraq" - United States, Australia, Canada
"Taliban" - Pakistan, Australia, Canada
"Tom Cruise" - Canada, United States, Australia
"Britney Spears" - Mexico, Venezuela, Canada
"Homosexual" - Philippines, Chile, Venezuela
"Love" - Philippines, Australia, United States
"Botox" - Australia, United States, United Kingdom
"Viagra" - Italy, United Kingdom, Germany
"David Beckham" - Venezuela, United Kingdom, Mexico
"Kate Moss" - Ireland, United Kingdom, Sweden
"Dolly Buster" - Czech Republic, Austria, Slovakia
"Car bomb" - Australia, United States, Canada
"Marijuana" - Canada, United States, Australia
I've NEVER googled Nazi OR Burrito, btw.
October 16, 2007
Note: This is from an article in the Washington Post a week ago; it wasn't reported in Drudge nor in my political forum. I don't understand; this is one of those issues near 'n dear to my heart. Texas gets 88 cents back from every dollar "we" send to Washington.
I guess I should feel lucky; that's better odds than a slot machine.
(Click for a larger image)
By Stephen Ohlemacher, Associated Press
WASHINGTON - The federal government's system of taxing and spending works well for people in New Mexico, Mississippi and West Virginia. Not so well for those in Minnesota, Delaware and New Jersey.
New Mexico received $3.10 in federal spending for every tax dollar the state sent to Washington in 2005 -- more than any other state -- said an Associated Press analysis. Delaware fared the worst, receiving 42 cents for every dollar sent to Washington. It was followed by Minnesota, which got 46 cents, and New Jersey, 57 cents.
In all, 30 states and the District of Columbia received more money from the government than they paid in federal taxes.
The Census Bureau report on 2005 spending documents the geographic distribution of $2.3 trillion in government spending, including salaries, grants, military pay, government contracts and Social Security payments. It excludes interest on the national debt, overseas spending and intelligence agency budgets. The AP compared the census data to IRS figures for 2005 tax collections.
The analysis shows that wealthy states pay more than poor ones, blue states subsidize red states and states with powerful politicians on key House and Senate committees fare well in federal spending.
High-income states like New Jersey, Connecticut and Massachusetts paid more in taxes than they received, while low-income states like Mississippi, West Virginia and Alabama got a much higher return for their tax dollars. The exceptions were Alaska, Hawaii, Virginia and Maryland -- high-income states that also received high levels of government spending.
Scott Hodge, president of the Tax Foundation, a Washington research group, said the numbers represent a redistribution of the nation's wealth.
Responding, James Horney, director of federal fiscal policy at the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, said: "I think it is appropriate for people doing well to pay a higher share."
October 15, 2007
October 13, 2007
WOODY: "What's your pleasure, Mr. Peterson?"
NORM : "Boxer shorts and loose shoes. But I'll settle for a beer."
SAM: "What's new, Normie?"
SAM: "What'd you like, Normie?"
SAM: "What'll you have Normie?"
WOODY: "What's the story, Mr. Peterson?"
WOODY: "Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you."
SAM: "Beer, Norm?"
WOODY: "How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
SAM: "What's going down, Normie?"
WOODY: "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
SAM: "What's the story, Norm?"
WOODY: "What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
WOODY: "Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
COACH: "How's life treating you Norm?"
NORM: "Like he caught me in bed with his wife. "
WOODY: "How's it going Mr. Peterson? "
NORM : "It's a dog eat dog world out there, Woody, and I'm wearing milkbone underwear."
I'm sure the
millions thousands hundreds dozens of several people who read this blog will remember this horse in my nonsensical post "Horse Laughs".
I drove back down to Miami yesterday, visited with some old friends while waiting on another one to get home from work. I was wanting to ask him who owned this horse, which was, at the time of my first photos, pastured across the road from his house. I pulled into his driveway, and saw this horse in what I knew to be my friend's pasture.
My old friend drove up just then, and was glad to see me, and loved the photos of his horse I had taken and printed off. I fed him (the horse) some sugar cubes and some lettuce I had brought down just for him and my friend told me the story behind the animal.
He had bought the horse for $650 from a friend of a friend, and showed me some documentation that came with the purchase. The wild mustang (hence the name "Ford") was about three years old when he was captured in Idaho on federal land by the BLM and then was taken to the Kansas state penitentiary and "broken" by inmates, then put up for adoption. He's a gelding, but is "proud cut". (Google that, I don't wanna explain it) He's now six years old.
I'm sorry I didn't get more details to the horse's story, but for some reason the Chinese beer I was drinking didn't allow for much information retention. It also got dark before I realized I hadn't taken any new photos. I also thought it was VERY dark down there, much darker than it is usually, then I realized I still had my sunglasses on.
October 11, 2007
October 10, 2007
But refused to get "greased".
I was watching TV yesterday afternoon and a 3M advertisement came on, showing a new product, an "easel pad" that sticks to the wall, similar to a desktop "scratch pad".
They offered a free one if you went to their website, but when I did, I found a note that said "All samples are gone.".
That made me angry...why advertise something --even something free -- if you don't have the product? That's the first step in the classic business con game "bait 'n switch" and I emailed them and told them so, also saying that such practices made me think less of ALL of their products.
I got an email from them just now saying they'll be sending me one of the pads.
I got the power.
October 9, 2007
When I switch channels on my TV.
For some reason, when I use the "recall" button on my remote, the one I use to flit back and forth between two channels, my air conditioner turns on.
The a/c has a remote, but I'm afraid to use it; it might turn on my microwave.
"Picked Apart" That was the entry on the Dallas Cowboys website last night at halftime, the Cowboys behind and Romo having already thrown four interceptions.
The Cowboys never led during the game, but managed to get back into it after scoring a touchdown, but missed the tying two-point conversion. Then came some controversy and reviews after the 'Boys recovered an onside kick. After a couple of short passes to get them within range, their rookie kicker, Nick Folk, nailed a 50+ yd. field goal, winning the game.....BUT....Buffalo had called time before the snap, so the Cowboys had to kick it again and Folk once again split the uprights.
I WAS going to title this post "Buffalo gets Folked", but...
The Cowboys website was a little more cutesy:
Not for sure if Folk is saying "Hook 'em Horns" or is practicing for the next Ozzie Osbourne concert.
Any more wins like this and I won't survive the season.
October 8, 2007
This word is so wrong; in the first place, you'd never use "old" OR this word when referring to a woman. To use both would be a death wish. I wouldn't use the synonym of "ancient" either, unless you really like getting whacked with a handbag knitted during the Truman administration.
"Canescent" would be fine, make her think she's "glowing hot", like "incandescent".
Come to think of it, THAT might get you whacked
by that old bag with that ancient handbag, too.
October 7, 2007
An 1885 8th Grader?
From the Strange Zoo website
This is the 8th Grade Final Exam of 1895.....
Imagine a college student trying to pass this test, even if the few outdated questions were modernized. This gives the saying "she/he only had an 8th grade education" a whole new meaning!
Could You Have Passed the 8th Grade in 1895? .........Take a Look:
This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895 from Salina, Kansas. USA. It was taken from the original document on file at the Smoky Valley Genealogical Society and Library in Salina, Kansas and reprinted by the Salina Journal.
8th Grade Final Exam: Salina, KS - 1895
Grammar (Time, one hour)
1. Give nine rules for the use of Capital Letters.
2. Name the Parts of Speech and define those that have no modifications.
3. Define Verse, Stanza and Paragraph.
4. What are the Principal Parts of a verb? Give Principal parts of do, lie, lay and run.
5. Define Case. Illustrate each Case.
6. What is Punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of Punctuation.
7. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time, 1.25 hours)
1. Name and define the Fundamental Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold? 3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50 cts. per bushel, deducting 1050 lbs. for tare?
4. District No. 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find cost of 6720 lbs. coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
7. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
8. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance around which is 640 rods?
9. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note, and a Receipt.
U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates:
Orthography (Time, one hour)
1. What is meant by the following:
alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication?
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each:
trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e'. Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, super.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables the following, and name the sign that indicates the sound: card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentence: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced and indicate pronunciation by use diacritical marks and by syllabication.
Geography (Time, one hour)
1. What is climate? Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes of climate in Kansas?
3. Of what use are rivers? Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America.
5. Name and describe the following: Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fermandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S.
7. Name all the republics of Europe and give capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth. Give inclination of the earth.
So, to answer the question in my own case:
October 6, 2007
October 4, 2007
October 3, 2007
October 2, 2007
October 1, 2007
This dog belongs to a friend of mine, Tim Fatheree, who also owns the Culligan franchise here in town. These were shot with some zoom, so they're not real clear. This is his black lab puppy (a child substitute, I reckon, his girls are both gone from the nest), tied up outside his shop one pretty day . She had plenty of rope, but she found it scarce on company, especially with all the customers and no one coming over to pet her.
Usually she's in the office sitting at his feet.
Oh yeah, she knows an alpha dog when she sees
She was a bit put-off by the camera, I think.
Animals are hard to photograph because they won't stand still.
They also seem to all stick their tongues out at me.