Welcome to ToTG!

January 31, 2009

Wild Fires

NW of Pampa

At this time, pasture fires are raging out of control in Gray, Roberts and Carson counties. Sunset should bring some relief with reduced wind and higher humidity.


Another love letter

Hello, I just wanted to drop you a line to let you know that I am interested in getting to know more about you. I saw your profile on dating site. I guarantee that I am a nice lady and know how to treat a men... I search a man for all my life for long relationship. Possible having found out about each other more we can join. I'm looking for a serious relationship, so please don't reply, if you aren't serious as well. I want to find kind and reliable partner in life. I with the big pleasure will answer your letter.

Please write on my personal e-mail: sfartom@gmail.com

It is better to try and fail than to give up and never know if we could have relations.

Dear whatever your name is,

Thanks for your interest. Sorry to say, even though you're very attractive, I'll have to pass on your offer.

You see, English is a tricky language and maybe you're taking advantage of that. Let's say we did get together and shortly after we're married you say "Do you want the relations?".

Of course, me being the lusty varmit I am, I say "You Betcha!"

Then, the next thing I know, we've got your mom and dad, your older sister and baby brother and maybe even an aunt or uncle or distant cousin or two coming to live with us.

So, I will have to say...so that you will understand it..."I take the pass."


P.S. You said: "It is better to try and fail than to give up and never know if we could have relations."

Uh, that's why Viagra was invented.

January 30, 2009

World's Fastest Roughnecks

So says the caption. They do make a good connection, if I do say so myself.

Much better than any other connection vids on YouTube.

AT&T = P.O'd

Got this in my ISP mailbox the other day.

Important Notice Regarding Discontinuation of LAUNCHcast Plus Service

Beginning in February 2009, CBS Radio will power LAUNCHcast Radio. LAUNCHcast Radio will still be accessible from the Yahoo! site. However, it will be hosted and operated by CBS Radio rather than by Yahoo!. As part of the transition to CBS Radio, the LAUNCHcast Plus premium service will be closing on February 12, 2009.

Existing AT&T customers will no longer receive LAUNCHcast Plus as part of their AT&T membership after February 12, 2009.

Even though the LAUNCHcast Plus subscription service will be discontinued, you will still have access to most of your favorite preprogrammed LAUNCHcast stations through the new CBS Radio-powered experience. The difference is that those radio stations will be supported by advertising and there will no longer be a commercial-free option.

With LAUNCHcast Radio powered by CBS Radio, you will also get access to some new features, including a new streaming radio player and CBS Radio's wide variety of local music, news, talk, and sports programming. The new radio player will also be compatible with Macintosh computers and Firefox and Safari browsers. Not all existing LAUNCHcast features will continue, however. Your custom "My Station" and "Moods" Stations will no longer be available after February 12, 2009. Additionally, you will no longer be able to add "Influencers" to your personalized "My Station."

There is no need to cancel or do anything with your service to make the transition to CBS Radio. Yahoo! will not transfer any of your account information to CBS Radio. You will not have to pay for the new LAUNCHcast service since it will be supported by advertising.

We hope you will enjoy our new radio experience and the broader range of radio stations that it will bring.


For more information about LAUNCHcast Radio and the changes to the service, please refer to our Frequently Asked Questions.

Radio station lineup is subject to change and we cannot guarantee that all stations will be available after the transition to CBS Radio.

My bill keeps going up and they keep discontinuing services. I can't recall all that they've quit offering, but they discontinued their alt binaries access and their Briefcase barely works. I've got the investment in the DSL modem, but I've been thinking of going total cable: phone, TV and internet access for about the amount of money I'm paying now for my phone and internet.

I listened to my LAUNCHcast quite often, at least once or twice a week, sometimes more while I'm cruising the 'net. One reason I clung to Internet Explorer is because the service wouldn't work with Firefox, but after adding the "View in IE tab" to my Firefox browser, I could listen to it.

OTOH, I've checked out the CBS/AOL radio and while it doesn't have the features I liked about LAUNCHcast (I could click through a song I didn't like), the new service does have a wide variety of online radio stations.

Still...this was a service promised to me when I signed up and I think they owe me a discount! I am going to call AT&T tomorrow, see if they can knock some off my bill. I think people would be surprised at how accommodating these companies can be, especially since they're loathe to lose customers.

Because I'm a Prince

Your 80s Song is "1999"

If you were transported back to the 80s, your life would be all about living large.

You love the excess that the 80s represented, even if the party wasn't meant to last.

You think of the 80s as a time of wild fashions, big money, and fast cars.

And that's a world you wouldn't mind being a part of!

Lee National Denim Day®

It's quite a while off, but it's never too early to prepare for Lee National Denim Day®

From the website:

How to Plan for Lee National Denim Day®

Coordinating a Denim Day team and contributing to the fight against breast cancer has never been easier or more fun. Here are the five simple steps to hosting Denim Day at your company or with family and friends:

1. Sign Up. When you sign up for Denim Day, you will receive a free participation kit with copier-friendly posters and fact sheets, pink ribbon pins, and more.

2. Promote Your Team. There are a few different ways to get the word out about Denim Day. A good place to start is by customizing the team page that is automatically established for you when you sign up. There you can upload your team’s personal story and fundraising goal, share photos, communicate with your team members and collect donations easily online without envelopes or hassle. We also have a wide variety of downloadable resources online that you can use to motivate your team.

3. Put on Your Jeans. Whether it’s on Oct. 2 or another day of your choosing, don’t forget the best part! Put on your favorite jeans as an act of solidarity in the fight against breast cancer. As a participant, you are welcome to a discount on Lee.com—check your kit for coupons. And visit the Denim Day Shop for your Denim Day apparel, where $5 of every purchase goes to Denim Day.

4. Collect Donations. There are two ways to collect donations. Ask your team members to submit them online from your team page so you can watch as you climb closer to your goal, or you can collect donations from your team members and submit them via cash or check.

5. Celebrate. It is our hope that we will again raise millions for groundbreaking research on Denim Day, and it will be because of your efforts. Pat yourself and your team on the back, and celebrate your contribution in the fight against breast cancer.

Lee National Denim Day

January 29, 2009

Free Travel Guides

From the website:

Step 1: Browse over 100 of our top destinations

Step 2: Pick the travel guides you'd like

Step 3: Receive guides free by mail or download

Step 4: No obligation, no strings attached. Go vacation!

One of the best things in life is the promise of something free. The actual best thing in life is when those promised things turn out to actually be free. Our Free Travel Guides of the United States and Canada are just that: Free. 100% no strings attached. There are two ways to get free brochures or travel information. You can click on the map and find a region of the US that appeals to you, or click on one of the 30 plus states linked on the right sidebar. You'll be able to add free travel brochures or free travel guides to your shopping cart from any page.

When planning a trip and wanting the most current up to date travel information, please consider www.TravelGuidesFree.com

Free Travel Guides

It's just me, I'm sure, but I wonder why the site's name is "Free Travel Guides" and the website URL is www.travelguidesfree.com?

They might be dyslexic and instead of sending you a North Dakota brochure, you get one from South Dakota.

Redneck Solution

From the email archives:

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)

These Southern boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, mamma or Jesus.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday

My name is Oksana

another love letter from the spam folder:

And you have very much liked me. And I have decided to write to you that will meet you to get friendly communications. I search to myself for the friend with whom it is possible to spend time and can and to create in the future serious attitudes.

If you want to learn about me more and better that write to me on mine email: oksanaalone555@gmail.com

I shall be glad to answer you. I also shall be glad to learn about you more and to receive your photo. I shall respond also to you and I shall send a photo. I very much hope that you will answer my letter. Write with personal email.

Your new friend Oksana.

Dear Oksana,

It's not even the future and I already have some serious attitudes about you.

Let's cut to the chase, all right? Attached is a document with my SS#, my bank routing number and my home phone and address. That'll save you the trouble of wheedling all that out of me with vague promises of sex and adamant vows of your love for me.

Your pal,

P.S. When you send those photos, make 'em of you naked, ok?

Smart or Stoopid?

Are you smart or stoopid?

Take the test at the aptly titled site smartorstoopid

From the website:

The Smart or Stoopid test is purely meant to be a fun quiz to see how your IQ rates alongside the average, based on the scores of other people who have taken the test. Naturally, only stupid people would take it as a true indicator of intelligence, and only intelligent people would take it as a true indicator of stupidity. Or something like that.

The quiz is on a timer and each multiple choice question comes fast, so be alert! I think I missed a couple (took this test a couple days ago and have slept since then) I saved my score w/ a screen shot, though.

Look at Mike's Big Brain, wouldja?

Past President's Puns

January 28, 2009

Pepper Pop Plasters Poor Portales

From last week's Portales NM pntonline:

Dr Pepper truck spills load

Diet or regular — Portales clean-up crews had plenty of choices Tuesday after a Dr Pepper truck dumped its load at Avenue A and First Street.

Police said a flatbed Dr Pepper truck was west bound on First Street when its load shifted while attempting a lane change.

The intersection was down to one lane in all directions, while clean up crews hosed off the sticky mess. The clean up took about 45 minutes.

45 minutes to clean up the entire mess?

I heard the clean up crews had to go back at 10, 2 and 4 to finish it all off.

January 27, 2009

This might be true, but...

You Are a Cartographer

You have a wide range of knowledge and you're very detail oriented.

You have a photographic memory, and you remember places very well.

Like a middle ages cartographer, you're also very adventurous and curious about the world.

In modern times, you would make a good non-fiction writer or scientist.

This flatters me, but I think I would probably have been a lowly peon working in the King's stable, shoveling horse...well, you know.

I'd rather have been the footstool for the Queen.

Life In Technicolor ii - Coldplay


From this blog's Word of the Day from Dictionary.com

wanton \WON-tn\, adjective:
1. reckless, heartless, or malicious; without reason or excuse
2. not moral; lewd, lascivious

This word has been used a lot lately, particularly in regards to politics. An example: "Bush's wanton disregard for (insert offended segment of the population and their beef)...yada yada yada."

That's the first definition, but I always think of the second when I see the word in print or hear it.

Think of two Texas guys in a bar, ogling a stripper who has turned her attention to them in hopes of tips being stuffed in her g-string.

"That, my friend," says one, "is a perfect example of a wanton woman."

"Yew got tha' raht." replies the other. "Ah'm a wantin' her BAD."

It's a wrap!

Story at the Pampa News website:

Independent film “Texas and Me” shot near Pampa

January 26, 2009


From the Word of the Day feed:

vacuous \VAK-yoo-uhs\, adjective:
1. showing no intelligence or thought
2. having no meaning or direction; empty

Yet again a word that fits this blog.

Hell, it fits ME, who am I kidding?


From NASA's image of the day:

This image, taken through a telescope, is of the newly designed super pressure balloon aloft over Antarctica.

NASA and the National Science Foundation successfully launched the newly designed super pressure balloon prototype that may herald a new era of high-altitude scientific research. The super-pressure balloon ultimately will carry large scientific experiments to the brink of space for 100 days or more.

This seven-million-cubic-foot super-pressure balloon is the largest single-cell, super-pressure, fully-sealed balloon ever flown. When development ends, NASA will have a 22 million-cubic-foot balloon that can carry a one-ton instrument to an altitude of more than 110,000 feet, which is 3-4 times higher than passenger planes fly.

Ultra-long duration missions using the super pressure balloon cost considerably less than a satellite and the scientific instruments flown can be retrieved and launched again, making them ideal very-high altitude research platforms.

The test flight was launched Dec. 28, 2008, from McMurdo Station, the National Science Foundation's logistics hub in Antarctica.

Image Credit:Columbia Scientific Balloon Facility

This image and many others are freely available to download for non-commercial use and several different sizes are offered as wallpaper.

January 24, 2009

Free 3-D Glasses

At your local Dollar General.

Was sorting through some stuff a few months ago and ran across a couple of pairs of 3-D glasses almost identical to the one pictured above. A few months before that I was doing the same thing and found another pair! I can't remember when I got them or what was supposed to be viewed through them. Seems as though one was for a movie and the others were for particular magazine issues.

I'm really wondering why I still have them. I probably didn't remember the reason why when I threw them in the box, hoping that the next time I found them I might remember.

I'm also wondering if there's any significance to this post mentioning Dollar General and the previous post mentioning Family Dollar. I go to both local outlets fairly often and will have to remember to get my free 3-D glasses...so I can keep them and then a few years later forget why I have them.

I'll also need to remember which store is which. Thank goodness two of the competing outlets are right next to each other. I'll probably go to the wrong one first, then instead of driving to park at the right store, will forget to look both ways and get run over crossing the street.

The advertisement says "The Big Game Just Got Bigger!" Hmmm.... Usually, 3-D glasses give depth to a printed page or a movie by using a stereo effect, but if these make things look bigger, I will have to try to remember that if I ever get a girlfriend.

January 23, 2009

Walking Through West

It's been years since I've been through West, Texas and but a couple of times in my life at that. The town is on a "lonesome" stretch of I-35 and the highway doesn't go through the town but instead zips around. It's very near a place I'd love to live and a few weeks back I thought I'd use the street view in Google Earth to see the places of interest in the town. The town doesn't have a very good resolution in their particular swath of satellite view, though.

A listing for a Chzeck restaurant caught my eye, so I clicked on the little orb in Google Earth to see what sort of building housed the eatery. According to the place mark, it was located very near or in the two story dilapidated house shown below.

A man walking caught my eye.

The Google van taking the photos took several photos going by the guy.

He glances over, reaches into his pocket.

Looks like he's shouting something, doesn't it?

The van rolls on, the man's hand returns to his jacket.

Up the same street, parking just down from the Family Dollar there's another figure coming out from beside a bright red car.

The van keeps snapping photos:

A little blurry, but it's a pretty young girl with her hair in a ponytail and I'd bet that was her car because it looks as though she's got keys in her hands.

She pays the Google van no attention.

And I'd bet she is looking at the back of her dusty car and thinking she needs to wash it.

She keeps going.

Right towards the guy walking down the street.

You should see the next few shots.

Or maybe not.

and I never crumble

You Are Traditional and Dependable

You are optimistic, friendly, and cheerful. People appreciate the hopefulness and good vibes you bring to any situation.

Your life is all about change. Right now, you may be going through some changes you really don't like.

You're easy going and easy to be around. You aren't picky or high maintenance.

You seek security in your life. Feeling safe is important to you.

January 22, 2009

Free Chocolate Turtle

Chex Mix®, that is.

I already receive the Betty Crocker® email newsletter, so I am not eligible for this giveaway, but I'd recommend both the newsletter and the new Chex Mix®. I almost always find a good recipe in my weekly email and a sample of this new product was consumed within five minutes of getting it in my mailbox. They also sent me at least half a dozen dollar off a box coupons, but the treat IS loaded down with sugar.


Step right up, getchyer free sample right here!


From the Word of the Day

rancor \RANG-ker\
noun: bitter resentment or ill will; extreme hatred or spite

This word has often been used to describe the state of the current and past few years of this country's political debate.

One word for this word: Apt

Wooly Bully - Sam the Sham & the Pharoahs

Check the Homework!

From the email archives

A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment.

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

I want to be very clear on my child’s illustration. It is NOT of me on a dance pole on a stage in a strip joint.

I work at Home Depot and had commented to my daughter how much money we made in the recent snowstorm.

This drawing is of me selling a shovel.

Mrs. Harrington

January 21, 2009

George Bernard Shaw Quote

But Mr. Shaw, I read it on the 'net so it's GOTTA be true!

January 20, 2009


The Word of the Day

pandiculation \pan-dik-yuh-LEY-shuhn\

noun: an instinctive stretching, as on awakening or while yawning

I've done this and got a charley horse so horrible it made me collapse from the pain, such a sudden shock I guess. It's taken me a long, long time to learn to do it gingerly, a little at a time. It also helps to stay hydrated, I think, because nearly every other time I've got a cramp it was when I was also thirsty.

Pandiculation isn't in my Firefox spell checker, and I didn't know the word.

10 Enjoyable Things To Do On Inauguration Day

From the email (recent) archives:

1. Search for a second or third job to help pay your higher taxes;

2. Stage a Ronald Reagan Film Festival in your community;

3. Attend a women's professional basketball game;

4. Search your kitchen for recalled food products;

5. Play Halo 3 and/or Wii with your teenager(s);

6. Ignore all news media sources for 24 hours;

7. Shovel snow off your driveway;

8. Schedule a colonoscopy;

9. File your tax return; and

10. Stay in bed.

Free Spider Chart

(click image for larger view)

This really won't help me much, as it's awfully hard to identify what sort of spider it is was from the goo under my shoe.

Get yours from termite.com

(or save this one and let me take all the resulting spam for you!)

EDIT: I remembered a few more spider posts I've made. How could I forget? -shudder-

I had a spider on my towel once.

And there was an art-loving spider.

And more recently there was some spider software , a creepy application and another creepy thing.

January 19, 2009

'Barack Obama Has Refused to Be a President'

Heads-up from JammieWearingFool about cloned Obama websites with the above title and having been outfitted with a computer virus.

The malicious websites originate from China. Whodathunkit? I thought the Ruskies and other ex-Soviet bloc nations had cornered the market on that sort of thing.

"Jammie" is one of my new favorite blogs I follow and a multiple winner of the famous Weblog Awards

They're not up there in searches for "sister's feet" like this one, though.


From this blog's Word of the Day feed:

obscure \uhb-SKYOOR\,


1. not clearly expressed; hard to understand

1. to hide from view; dim, darken

1. not well known; not prominent
2. dark, dim, murky

"Hard to understand" certainly would be the phrase to describe this blog. Used as a verb, "not well known" and "not prominent" would also fit.

"Dim" and "murky" describes this blog's author.

Kate Winslet's Golden Globes

I don't really follow entertainment news, but skimming through the news headlines a bit ago I saw where Kate Winslet won two Golden Globes this last week.

Wow. I thought she was born with 'em...or at least got 'em around puberty.

Quote of the Day 1/19/09

Every man is the architect of his own fortune.
- Sallust

I dunno 'bout "architect"; some of us are in demolition, running the wrecking ball.

Comic Book Advertisements

Top 10 Outrageous Comic Book Advertisements

I remember these very well and recall spending hours looking at these ads, wishing I had $6.95 for the Polaris Nuclear Submarine. (the nuclear sub was born the same year I was!)

I knew not to ask my folks for the money because seven bucks was a FORTUNE back then. I bet, at that time, it was three hours worth of work for my dad, nearly half a day's wages.

I remember the ad (below) very well too, but didn't want one of them because we already had a dog that would fit in a teacup!

I did have a bunch of those green plastic army men, though, bought from the Woolsworth dime store. I brought a few to school to play army with my best friend Joe Bill; we had staked a claim to a secluded corner of the playground, out of the wind and away from the girl's hopscotch sidewalk.

We had a magnifying glass and would put the "death beam" on the German soldiers (which were identical to the US soldiers except we carved a swastika on their helmets). After we ran out of Germans to fry, Joe Bill melted part of one of my bazooka carrying men. I protested, but Jody assured me he was better that way "Now he can shoot around corners!"

High Water Bill?

January 18, 2009

Danger! Danger!

I guess you'd have to be a child of the 60's like me to recognize the title of this post. It was the exclamation of the robot on the TV series "Lost in Space" whenever Will Robinson was about to get into trouble (at least once per show)

The robot was played / "manned" by Bob May.

I was saddened to just read this:

'Lost in Space' actor Bob May dies at 69

Official website

The Moral of the Story

Don't show off before a fight.


Coney Island heaven in Pampa

Story on ConnectAmarillo.com

I have a photo of the "Queen of the Coney" (Linda) somewhere on this computer but can't find it.

I've known Linda for years and years; the first time I met her was at a garage sale I had back in the mid-80's. I had a couple of old bikes for sale and she was looking for bikes for her two little girls who had had theirs stolen that week. My bikes were in pretty shabby shape and weren't what she wanted, but I offered to give them to her because I felt so bad for her kiddos.

Two other stories in this blog about the Coney:

Hey Mister!


Blueberries With Wings

Strange Laws

From the email archives:

* In Alabama, prison guards are forbidden from referring to their spouses as "the old ball 'n' chain."

* In Los Angeles, it's illegal for a waiter to tell a customer "I'm really an actor."

* In Indiana, it's against the law to dress "Barbie" in "Ken's" clothes.

* In Sedona, Ariz., it's illegal to lie about your astrological sign.

* In Texas, it's illegal to threaten somebody with an UNLOADED gun.

* In Samoa, it's a crime to forget your wife's birthday.

* In Australia, it's illegal to name any animal you plan to eat.

* In Cannes, France, it's illegal to wear a Jerry Lewis mask.

* In New Jersey, answering a traffic cop who asks "Do you know why I pulled you over?" by saying, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" is an automatic $300 fine.

* In Kentucky, it's illegal to paint your lawn red.

* In Portugal, it's against the law to pee in the ocean.

* In Connecticut, night watchmen are forbidden from drinking decaf coffee while working.

* In Vermont, it's illegal to pick your nose and stick the pickings under a table.

* In Tennessee, it's illegal to tell someone to quit smoking.

* In Oregon, donut holes must be at least an 1/8th inch in diameter.

* In Georgia, it's illegal to teach a child under 5 the words "penis" and "vagina."

* Unmarried women are not allowed to buy edible panties in South Carolina.

* In Italy, anyone considered "obese" is forbidden from wearing polyester.

* It's illegal to tear a phone book in half in Montana.

* Anyone caught selling a "smoothie" that has lumps is breaking the law in California.

* In Arkansas, it's illegal for a woman getting married for the second time to wear a white wedding gown.

* In Pennsylvania, it's against the law to put a dollar on a string on the ground and yank it when someone tries to pick it up.

* In New York City, it's illegal for a restaurant to call it a "corned beef sandwich" if it's made with white bread and mayonnaise.

Another Admirer

My name is Lyubov. I am 28 years old. I have decided to write to you and i hope we can find much in common. I am a young lady. My friends consider me to be interesting in communication, kind and sincere. I can cook it is tasty. I happen good companion in a society. I have neither husband nor children. I have serious intentions about my life. I want to find a man that I can talk to, meet him and also to creat a family. I am fond of children and I dream about a happy family with the beloved man. I dream about strong relations with the good man and the right person of course.

If you are interested in Me if you wish to see more my photos please write to Me on my personal e-mail: solnchesvetit@yahoo.com because I shall be capable to answer you only from this address and to send the photos.

I hope to find an answer from you.

Dear Lyubov,

Other than me thinking you're probably really a Russian Mafia prostitute, you've got my interest.

I'm really interested in the "strong relations". I have those dreams too, all the time, but not nearly as many as I did when I was 16 yrs. old.

Please send many photos, preferably ones of you without any clothes.

I don't buy a pig in a poke, just to let you know.

If it works out, we can do some tasty cooking together. I'm fond of children, too and prefer them broiled with a dab of bbq sauce on 'em.


January 17, 2009

A Bad Law

"Prostitution Free Zone" During Inauguration

No Hooking Allowed
There are several problems with this: One, Washington D.C. and particularly Capitol Hill is FULL of politicians whores; two, we're getting screwed anyway and three, the American People just elected a guy who has made a career out of selling out his country cheaply and has associated with other Chicago whores, pimps and crooks.

Besides that, how are they going to separate the real whores from the adoring masses who cared not one whit about their candidate's background, those who got on their knees or bent over for "The Messiah"?

I don't hate America; I just hate over half my fellow Americans.

Venus - Shocking Blue

January 16, 2009

My Painting

Ford the Mustang - Click graphic for larger view

(click graphic for larger view)

Nah, I didn't paint that; it was a photo I took last year of Ford the Mustang, but I used a new program called FotoSketcher on it.

My IrfanView has a similar feature, but without as many changeable parameters. I also liked the pencil sketches the program is capable of creating. It is extremely easy to use and the learning curve is barely one at all.

The results look cool, and I can't wait to try it on a few other favorite photos I've taken.

Download FotoSketcher

Baby Please Don't Go - Them

Shoulda Been "Ctrl+Alt+Del"

You Are "enter"

Some people might try to say you're impulsive and rash.

You like to consider yourself decisive and committed instead.

You don't have a lot of trouble making very final decisions.

You trust your instincts, and you don't waver. You just go for it!

January 14, 2009

Camptown Races

James Bond: 20 Furious Fights

The Other Dark Meat

Raccoon is making it to the table

Other raccoon posts:

A Raccoon Buffoon

B for Baculum

Alternative Uses for Vodka

From the email archives:

1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves the adhesive.

2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the vodka kills mold and mildew.

3. To clean your eyeglasses, simply wipe the lenses with a soft, clean cloth dampened with vodka. The alcohol in the vodka cleans the glass and kills germs.

4. Prolong the life of razors by filling a cup with vodka and letting your safety razor blade soak in the alcohol after shaving. The vodka disinfects the blade and prevents rusting.

5. Spray vodka on vomit stains, scrub with a brush, then blot dry.

6. Using a cotton ball, apply vodka to your face as an astringent to cleanse the skin and tighten pores.

7. Add a jigger of vodka to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo. The alcohol cleanses the scalp, removes toxins from hair, and stimulates the growth of healthy hair.

8. Fill a sixteen-ounce trigger-spray bottle and spray bees or wasps to kill them.

9. Pour one-half cup vodka and one-half cup water in a Ziplock freezer bag, and freeze for a slushy, refreshable ice pack for aches, pain, or black eyes.

10. Fill a clean, used mayonnaise jar with freshly packed lavender flowers, fill the jar with vodka, seal the lid tightly and set in the sun for three days. Strain liquid through a coffee filter then apply the tincture to aches and pains.

11. Make your own mouthwash by mixing nine tablespoons powered cinnamon with one cup vodka. Seal in an airtight container for two weeks. Strain through a coffee filter then mix with warm water and rinse your mouth. DonĂ‚’t swallow.

12. Using a q-tip, apply vodka to a cold sore to help it dry out.

13. If a blister opens, pour vodka over the raw skin as a local anesthetic that also disinfects the exposed dermis.

14. To treat dandruff, mix one cup vodka with two teaspoons crushed rosemary, let sit for two days, strain through a coffee filter and massage into your scalp and let dry.

15. To treat an earache put a few drops of vodka in your ear. Let set for a few minutes. Then drain. The vodka will kill the bacteria that are causing pain in your ear.

16. To relieve a fever, use a washcloth to rub vodka on your chest and back as a liniment.

17. To cure foot odor, wash your feet with vodka.

18. Vodka will disinfect and alleviate a jellyfish sting.

19. Pour vodka over an area affected with poison ivy to remove the poison oil from your skin.

20. Swish a shot of vodka over an aching tooth. Allow your gums to absorb some of the alcohol to numb the pain.

21. If all else fails, just turn the bottle up and drink it, nothing will matter anymore anyway

January 12, 2009

It's Girl Scout Cookie Time!

From the GS website (with a hat tip to Don't Mess With Taxes)

Q: Is the purchase of Girl Scout Cookies tax-deductible?
A: No and Yes.

* No, if the customer keeps the cookies. Individuals who buy Girl Scout Cookies and take the cookies home, or consume them, have purchased a product at a fair market value. For this reason, no part of the price of a box of Girl Scout Cookies used in this way is tax-deductible.

* Yes, if the customer leaves the cookies with Girl Scouts. Many Girl Scouts ask customers to pay for one or more boxes of cookies for use in their community service project, for example, collecting for a food pantry. The customers not receiving any Girl Scout Cookies do not benefit directly from paying for them. Those individuals may treat the purchase price of the donated cookies as a charitable contribution.

So, for example, if you wanted to buy some Girl Scout cookies for members of our armed forces overseas, you could claim those cookies as a charitable donation.

Lemme tell ya something; I got a Thin Mint addiction, like big-time, man. I'm jonesin' right now just thinkin' 'bout 'em. I need a Thin Mint fix.

I bought several boxes last year, intending to share them with my family as well as with some online friends in other countries.

They didn't make it...and I almost didn't either, what with the one long, continuous sugar coma I was in.

Thin Mints aren't my favorite cookie; that would have to be a fresh-baked chocolate chip. I could probably live with only having but a store-bought Oreo® for the rest of my life, but Thin Mints are RARE.

Once a year and only once they come in the lovely green GS boxes with pictures of cute smiling Girl Scouts on them, delivered by cute and smiling Girl Scouts, but what's best is when you open the box: Two foil covered sleeves of Thin Mints.

I always try to eat no more than half a sleeve at a time, I really do. My problem is I only allot five minutes in between the portions.

They're not really a dipping cookie as the chocolate covering is too hard to let milk soak through, but hot liquids, such as tea or coffee will melt the shell a bit and penetrate the cookie. It takes several cookies, thank goodness, to finally gauge just how long to let them soak. Too long and the cookie will break off right at the "waterline" and settle down to the bottom of the cup.

That's OK, though, because the cookie is so delicious, it flavors the coffee/tea and after drinking the liquid, there's a lovely gooey mass to consume at the end.

I've learned to be careful because a few years ago I was trying to coax the sodden cookie crumbs into my mouth, tapping on the side of the cup with my free hand - because it's easy to knock out a tooth if you use your lips to bang the cup against - when all of a sudden I had an mini-avalanche of Thin Mint dregs in my mouth and half-way down my throat.

Surprised, I did the reflexive thing and gasped...way wrong thing to do. It didn't take long for me to cough out the obstruction, but it seemed like an hour or two while I tried to get a breath and all the while I was thinking of the headlines and if it would hurt GS cookie sales.

Good Eggs

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold but so does a hard boiled egg.
- Anonymous

Kate & Edith 2

From the email archives:

Take this cake personality test; then, send this e-mail on to others.

When you send this e-mail on, put your cake in the subject box above. No cheating. Pick your cake then, look to see.

If you were buying a cake and you had your choice of the following, which would you choose:

Angel food


Lemon Meringue

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing

Strawberry Short Cake

Chocolate on Chocolate

Ice Cream

Carrot Cake

NO...you can't change your mind once you scroll down So think carefully, what your choice will be!!!

OK - Now that you've made your choice, this is what research says about you:

Angel food ... Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day. Others perceive you as being child-like and immature at times.

Brownies... You are adventurous, love new ideas, are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up, you whip out your saber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.

Lemon Meringue... Smooth, sexy, &articulate with your hands, you are an excellent after-dinner speaker and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, but you have many friends.

Vanilla with Chocolate Icing ... Fun-loving, sassy, humorous. Not very grounded in life, very indecisive and lack motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad, however, you are a friend for life.

Strawberry Short Cake... Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people and can be counted on in a pinch. You tend to melt. You can be overly-emotional and annoying at times.

Chocolate on Chocolate ... Sexy, always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.

Ice Cream... You like sports, whether it be baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. You tend to be self-centered and high maintenance.

Carrot Cake... You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. ! People like to hang out with you. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends.

Personally, I don't think you should tell people in the subject line but instead put your choice at the end of the test, THEN send it along. Seems to me as though knowing someone else's choice might influence your own answer.

OTOH, who cares?


You Are a Ski Cap

You are a comfortable, low maintenance, and even practical person.

You use fashion to look good, and you don't stray too far from the mainstream.

You are friendly and accepting. You don't really judge other people for their fashion choices.

You enjoy clothes and accessories as much as the next person, but you're not superficial about it!

I love sock caps, especially during the winter and most especially since I've been shaving my head. When I had hair I liked them, but my hair is so thin and fine it would practically tie in knots under the cap.

Back when I was a kid, there was a TV show called "Then Came Bronson" which starred Michael Parks who often wore a sock cap.

He wasn't a bad singer, either. I remember my big sister having this album:

I specifically remember "Long, Lonesome Highway" from the television show, plus he did a great version of "Oklahoma Hills".

Here's a couple of clips I found on YouTube:

Opening sequence

Closing Credits

Michael Nesmith of The Monkees (mentioned in a recent post) was another Mike who wore sock caps:

January 11, 2009

The British Invasion

Noticed that this blog was getting quite a few hits in a short period of time, most from places in the U.K. Went and checked and sure 'nuff, the movie "Cast Away" was just on BBC 1 (think it was) A few have found this site via searches and others by a link I left at IMDB.

Welcome to ToTG!

Wonder if I could make money by selling authentic dirt from the intersection?


Photobucket Coldest Places on Earth

Life At Negative 78 Degrees In Alaska

2 Google Searches = 1 Cuppa

From the UK Times Online:

Revealed: the environmental impact of Google searches

Physicist Alex Wissner-Gross says that performing two Google searches uses up as much energy as boiling the kettle for a cup of tea

Performing two Google searches from a desktop computer can generate about the same amount of carbon dioxide as boiling a kettle for a cup of tea, according to new research.

While millions of people tap into Google without considering the environment, a typical search generates about 7g of CO2. Boiling a kettle generates about 15g. “Google operates huge data centres around the world that consume a great deal of power,” said Alex Wissner-Gross, a Harvard University physicist whose research on the environmental impact of computing is due out soon. “A Google search has a definite environmental impact.”

Shoot, I use Google so much it's probably the daily equivalent of making a barrel of tea. It wouldn't surprise me to find that my computer habits waste the energy it takes to broil a cow. Come to think of it, I drink a couple cups of tea per Google search anyway, so I'm doubly dangerous to the environment.

Good Grief.

EDIT: Anytime "tea" is mentioned is the time for my tea joke:

Didja hear about the Indian chief who drank a hundred cups of tea?

They found him dead the next morning, drowned in his tepee.

EDIT: Also read where there was "outrage" over Prince Harry's recent remarks. My callous and insensitive joke above where I referred to Native Americans as "Indians" made me realize that I'm just as bigoted as "the spare".


God Bless Harry, God Save the Queen, God Bless the U.K., God Bless us one and all except for the ragheads who want to kill us.

Just saw this:


January 10, 2009

Aermotor Windmills

From Texas Country Reporter (YouTube Channel)

The location is quite a bit south of here, not really in the Panhandle, but certainly could be in regards to the landscape and particularly the wind.

My sister's in-laws used to be haying & fencing contractors and one summer hired a couple of young men who stayed with the family. One guy had a beautiful old pickup and had under the dash the only record player "deck" I have ever seen. It very seldom skipped, only when he hit a pothole.

The other guy was pretty much a greenhorn and I remember something very funny he said to one of the family "Sure are a lot of air motors around here." "Air Motors"??? The mystery was solved when he pointed to a windmill with "Aermotor" stenciled on the vane.

I certainly did not know Aermotor was the sole windmill manufacturer in the United States.

There's a lovely old wooden windmill about five/six miles out of town and I'd love to photograph it in the morning because there's nothing behind it to the east and I think it would make a fantastic shot with the sun rising in the background.

The only problem is that I'd have to pretty much be on the farmer's porch when the sun came up!

EDIT: Poking around the windmill vids at YT, I found this one:

What I Learned From Windmills

January 9, 2009

The End of the World - Skeeter Davis

Dinky Bird

From the KFDA NewsChannel 10 feed in the right-hand column:

Rare, 'dinky' bird migrates to US for first time

The "dinky" bird reminds me of my childhood friend Joe Bill; we were about 13 or so and he asked me if I had ever heard of a "dicky bird". I told him that it seemed as though I had and he told me I'd know it if I heard it, its call was:

"Sc-rooh! Sc-rooh!"

If you don't "get it", even after saying it out loud, then I'm not explainin' it to ya


eclectic \i-KLEK-tik\, adjective:
1. selecting and using what seems best from various sources or systems; made up of selections from various sources
2. broad in acceptance of ideas or approval from other sources

I like this word because I think it describes me and how I try to do things. In fact, I think the world would be a much better place if we all were a bit eclectic.

In other words, I want everyone else to be like me.

Not very eclectic of me, is it?

Don't Click This Link

Unless you want to read a truly gruesome story:

Death row inmate pulls out eye, eats it


From the email archives:

If you receive an email entitled 'Bedtimes'


Do not open it.

Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer.

It demagnetizes the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR, and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 900 numbers.

This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.


It will drink ALL your beer.


It will leave dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company.

It will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine. If the 'Bedtimes' message opened in a Windows 95/98 or Windows XP environment, it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.

It will not only remove the forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill your skim milk with whole milk.


And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.

Send this warning to everyone!


Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are partying

And look at you - you're on the computer

January 8, 2009

I'm A Flour Child

You Are Buttermilk Pancakes

Your prefer traditional, old fashioned foods.

You shy away from anything fake, and you like meals with simple ingredients.

It's not likely someone would find margarine or diet soda in your kitchen.

Instead, someone might find a loaf of homemade bread baking or a soup simmering.

This was today's Blogthing; just last night The Food Network's Alton Brown had several shows on pancakes, popovers and muffins.

I once had a very good friend who was manic-depressive and when he'd start going into a manic phase, he'd say " I'm goin' to see Aunt Jemima."

That was his way of saying he was starting to flip out.

If you'll go to the Wiki entry linked to above, and then visit the official site, you can see how Aunt Jemima has changed over the decades. (thank goodness) She still has some fine pancake mix, good for bachelors and kitchen failures everywhere, such as myself.

That said, I've always preferred Mrs. Butterworth for her syrup, even though she's now shilling for a corporate giant:

...but have always had the hots for Betty Crocker. (official website)

She not only had great cake mixes, she lent her name to the most-wished for and prized possession of many American pre-teen girls.

See how she's changed at Who was Betty Crocker?

This is one of my first memories of Betty Crocker:

I've always pictured her married to me, adoringly fixing me something in the kitchen.

R.I.P. India

The Bush family cat, a female black American Shorthair named India (often called “Willie” or “Kitty”) died at home at the White House on January 4, 2009 after 18 years of love and devotion to the First Family.

India often let Barney and Miss Beazley, the Bush’s two Scottish Terriers steal the show as she preferred more aesthetic pursuits such as music (shown here listening to a piano serenade). But she was obviously a good sport about it all as you see in the photo above of her being licked by Miss Beazley while Barney looks on.

(shamelessly stolen from Flopping Aces)

January 7, 2009

Natural Born Citizen

From the email archives:

The following is a funny and true story occurring in an AP Government class at Santa Fe High School.

In one civics class, the young adults were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States. It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 of years of age.

However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.

The class was just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone’s jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating…

“What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”

… and they walk among us and vote.

Birds of a Feather

These are, anyway.

Top 10 Birds That Could Kick Your Ass

When I was a kid, we used to have a rooster that would kick mine every chance he got. Geese can inflict some painful nips, too. I once worked for a guy who raised fighting cocks and he had a hen that took a dislike to me and would spur me as I walked by. He used to move her around from her tethered position just so I would bypass her spot and walk right by where she actually was.

Dad quit raising chickens after leaving a coffee can full of sodium hydroxide (often called "caustic soda", it's a very concentrated form of lye, was used to "scrub" our house gas supply which came directly from a well) out in the rain, rusting it and leeching the contents into the surrounding soil. He said one morning he looked out and saw several of the chickens flopping around in the driveway...because the caustic substance had pretty much dissolved their feet.

New 7 Wonders of Nature

Didn't see a single place I've been, so I didn't vote. The photos are worth the visit, though.

From the website:

You have one voice, and you have seven choices

My Word!

This is my word?


Your Word is "Love"

You see life as possibility to form deep connections with a few people.

Relationships are the center of your world, and you always take time to bond with those you love.

You are caring and giving. You enjoy helping those you love.

And when it comes to romantic love, you feel passionately ... even in a very long term relationship.

Amen to This

Never tell anyone that you're writing a book, going on a diet, exercising, taking a course, or quitting smoking. They'll encourage you to death.
- Lynn Johnston

January 6, 2009

I'm Henry VIII, I Am - Herman's Hermits

NOTE: Original vid was taken down by YouTube, sorry.

Navel Contemplation

You Are Puzzled Over

You are quirky, complicated, and brilliant. You tend to feel a bit misunderstood by everyone, and that troubles you.

It's likely that you will have four or more children... whether you use birth control or not!

You are easily effected by the world around you. You are emotional and even a bit moody.

You are a bit lazy. You sometimes don't shower or brush your teeth all day.

You are quite conservative. You are neither a flirter or a flaunter.

January 5, 2009


From the Word of the Day:

abstinent \AB-stuh-nuhnt\, adjective:
abstaining, especially from self-indulgence

I thought I was this, thought I knew the definition because I always think of s-e-x when I see this word. Then again, I think of that fairly often, especially since I've been abstinent.

I'm fairly self-indulgent, though. Completely, actually.

Meat in Your Mailbox

Get a free sample of beef jerky by going to LavernandLarry.com and then clicking on their contact page and asking for a taste of their product. (you'll have to leave your mailing address, of course)

Tell 'em PETA sent you. (j/k)

Free Wondertime Magazine

Get a free two-year subscription of the child development magazine Wondertime (a Disney product, visit their website) by filling out a deodorant survey at RewardsGold.com

(the site requires some info from you and feel free to use my address for the "tell a friend" portion. If I don't like what they send me via email, I'll relegate 'em to the spam folder, easy enough to do)

100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs

According to VH1. (view their other "top" lists)

Me, I can't accept any greatest rock song list that doesn't have "It's a Long Way to the Top" by AC/DC. I'm serious.

You CAN watch 70 of the vids, though, beginning with "Back in Black".

January 4, 2009

Amazon Selections

I was just at Amazon, thinking I might replace the old set of headphones I use on this computer. I plugged in "headphones" into the search box and these results came up:

That second entry, the "earbud" type, sure looks to me like they'd hurt like heck when you stuck 'em in your ear.