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September 27, 2010

I Think That I Shall Never See

Another quiz about a tree.

You Are an Autumn Tree

You are contemplative and deep. You enjoy observing the world around you.

You know that change is inevitable, and you try to roll with whatever life brings.

You can see the extraordinary in the ordinary. You are easily inspired.

You try to remain balanced and steady in the face of upheaval.

Lazy Sunday

I haven't been doing much in this blog - as you can tell, huh? I really haven't felt like it, plus I really need to run a new line to this computer and increase my speed back up to where it's supposed to be. In fact, the snail's pace of my DSL connection has kept me from doing much at all online. I've got some photos to upload, but I don't care to play a half-dozen games of Hearts waiting on the upload and I can forget having more than one or two tabs open at a time. I really enjoy listening to my Launchcast radio, but it takes so long to load the player I've almost given up on that.

Yesterday was really a lazy day for me and other than playing the ToTG Triva Tournament, I didn't check in here, not even to check the visitor stats from either of the "counters" I have. It must have been a lazy Sunday for everyone else because we had the least amount of visitors since I started the blog, unique OR repeat.

Still, there were a few visitors to the Cast Away threads and a couple for my post on "The Short Bus" but I was surprised there was no one checking out "My Sister's Feet" or the Gay Dwarfs.

Brought to you by the letters "T&A"

Katy Perry's Boobs Banned from "Sesame Street"

It seems the only boobs allowed on network television are the ones doing the programming.

September 21, 2010


brobdingnagian\ brob-ding-NAG-ee-uhn \ , adjective;
1. Of extraordinary size; gigantic; enormous.

One widget is worth a thousand words.

September 20, 2010


imago\ ih-MAH-goh \ , noun;
1. An idealized concept of a loved one, formed in childhood and retained unaltered in adult life.
2. Entomology . An adult insect.

A few years back, an old girlfriend from high school re-entered my life; at the time, I didn't have a significant other and was thrilled to see the woman, one of my first loves. We were visiting, catching up on family and old friends and I was reminiscing about things that had happened those many years ago and she looked distressed.

"Mike, I'm not the same person I was back then."

Fair enough, I thought; I'm wasn't either, but I thought it might be flattering to her for me to remember so many things we had done together. Oh well, maybe she didn't view those times with as much fondness as did I.

It would have taken a deaf and blind person to have not noticed the signals she was sending out, though...she wanted something immediate, something "physical". - ahem-

I turned to her and said "You remember back when we were kids? We'd go parking - you would want to talk and I'd want to fool around?" She nodded, with a small smile on her face that vanished when I went on:

"Well, now it's the other way around."

Television Hell

I couldn't sleep last night, so I decided to watch some TV, find something on that wasn't TOO interesting as so to bore and lull me to sleep. Flipping through the channels, I couldn't find anything to suit the purpose; there were no replays of baseball games, the news upsets me, and, while infomercials certainly do bore me to tears, I find myself getting hungry watching people use "chop-o-matics", power juicers and especially mini-grills.

Flipping over to the TVLand channel in hopes of finding a M*A*S*H episode I've seen a hundred times before, I found an episode of The Nanny to watch. Now, normally, I would never watch that show - Fran Drescher's voice is akin to fingernails on a chalkboard - there was nothing else on, so I settled in to watch. The half hour went by excruciatingly slow and I was relieved when it was over, hoping that the next offering would be better...but no, there was another Nanny after that one.

Getting up to check the listings, I saw that it was one of many of the same series on, all in a row; it was a Nanny marathon!

It didn't take me long to figure out just how to best watch a Nanny episode; just turn off the sound and focus on Fran Drescher's legs.

Ever talk on the phone to someone you've never seen, then meet them in person and being amazed that the person's face doesn't match up to the voice? I'd like to know how those lovely legs can belong to someone with such a horrible voice.

September 18, 2010

Deep...and wide

You Are Deep

You try to observe the world rather than judge it. You feel like you are here to learn.

You see every side to people. You know that things are complicated and nuanced.

You have trouble getting along with people who are flippant or silly. You crave substance.

You connect best with philosophical, thoughtful types. Your friends care about ideas.

September 17, 2010

Axed in the Eye

I was at WalMart the other day and stopped at the men's fragrance aisle to look at a new Axe product. I like the stuff, even though the other day I saw a post in a forum where the comment was made "that stinks worse than does five-yr. olds turned loose in the Axe aisle.". I was alone except for a woman looking at the shaving supplies. (she didn't have a beard, so I figured she was buying something for her husband)

I picked up a fragrance I hadn't seen before and lowered my glasses (I need bifocals!) to read the name on the canister, then tried to get a hint of what it smelled like by bringing it up to my nose and sniffing the pinhole where the spray comes out. I couldn't smell anything, so I pushed the button to get a better idea of how it smelled...

...and sprayed it right in my eye!

I dropped the container and yelled, getting the attention of the woman.

"Stuff stinks, don't it?"

September 16, 2010

Famous Last Words

From the email archives:

Famous Last Words

"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".

"Don't touch the red button!"

"Gee, that's a cute tattoo."

It's fireproof.

"What does this button do?"

"So, you're a cannibal."

"Are you sure the power is off?"

"Pull the pin and count to what?"

"Don’t worry, it has airbags."

"Hey, what’s that buzzing noise?"

"Don’t worry, it's not that deep."

"One time at band camp...."

"No, he doesn’t bite."

"Hey, look! A light at the end of the tunnel!"

"I can pass this guy."

"My brakes are fine."

"Nice doggy."

"I think it's trying to communicate..."

"Homicidal Tendencies"?

"Nah, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

September 14, 2010


ambrosial\ am-BROH-zhuhl \ , adjective;
1. Exceptionally pleasing to taste or smell; especially delicious or fragrant.
2. Worthy of the gods; divine.

I can think of several things ambrosial; my friend Barb's fudge, my grandmother's fried chicken and my momma's roast beef, but there is one memory of ambrosia that really stands out: once, after a hot, hard dusty day moving the rig, my crew and I walked over to a nearby windmill and had some of the coldest, cleanest water I've ever consumed.

Funny how a simple drink of water could bring so much pleasure.

September 13, 2010

And Sharp as a Cactus!

You Are Witty

You are a hilarious and expressive person. You love to entertain a crowd.

You see humor in everything, and you enjoy making light of situations.

Your friends depend on you for comic relief, and they usually don't even mind when it's at their expense.

You know that the key to being funny is pushing the envelope. And you are always willing to take a risk.

September 12, 2010


subaudition\suhb-aw-DISH-uhn \ , noun;
1. An act or instance of understanding or mentally supplying something not expressed.

Wasn't familiar with this word, but sure familiar with the definition, having been married.

September 10, 2010

New Country for Old Blog

Just checked in on our Flag Counter to see who has been visiting lately and noticed a new flag:

Antigua and Barbuda

At first I thought "What a pretty flag!"

My next thought was: "Wow, that looks like a woman looking through her sunburned thighs at the Caribbean sunset!"

September 8, 2010


gerrymander\ JER-i-man-der \ , verb;

1. The dividing of a state, county, etc., into election districts so as to give one political party a majority in many districts while concentrating the voting strength of the other party into as few districts as possible.

Origin: Gerrymander is named after E. Gerry (governor of Massachusetts, whose party redistricted the state in 1812) + (sala)mander, from the fancied resemblance of the map of Essex County, Mass., to this animal, after the redistricting.

Gerrymandering: Invented in Massachusetts, "perfected" in Texas.

September 7, 2010


kenspeckle\ KEN-spek-uhl \ , adjective;
1. Conspicuous; easily seen or recognized.

Whatever the antonym/opposite of this word is, that's me.

That is, unless it's like "the opposite of gay is depressed". In that case, I guess that could be me.

September 3, 2010

Don't Forget!

To play in the ToTG Trivia Tournament

Like I did yesterday


cachinnate\ KAK-uh-neyt \ , verb;

1. To laugh loudly or immoderately.

There's not much to cachinnate over these days.