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December 31, 2010

I'll Take a Pig in a Poke

Hogmanay\ hog-muh-NEY \, noun;
1. a gift given on New Year's Eve.
proper noun:
1. New Year's Eve in Scotland.


Not sure I'd want a pig for New Year's, but a rasher of bacon would be nice.

Oh wait. That'd contradict last years resolution, to give up pork.

And I Will

As usual



You Should Stay Home for New Year's Eve




By the time New Year's Eve comes around, you are usually exhausted. You just need to rest.

That doesn't mean you won't celebrate, but you'll definitely be toasting the new year in your own low key way.

You'll reflect on the year that's passed and make plans for the year to come.

And when the clock turns over at midnight, you'll be cheering along with anyone else. You'll just be in your pj's!


Southfork Longhorn


Taken w/ a cheap film camera, then transferred to digital.

From 2000, a trip to Southfork, the ranch from the hit TV show "Dallas", with my big sister Sharon and our British friend "Elle".

December 29, 2010

Beep! Beep! Beep!

That's the sound of me backing up...well, I already backed up, but the "beep beep beep" sound is still in my head.  Come to think of it, it was in my head a LONG time before I even got a computer.

Yup, I found my brand new but year old external hard drive and hooked it up.  Was really easy, just plugged it in, nothing to install.  It took a little while, but I copied almost* all the stuff I wanted to the HD; my photos, my music, my porn and nearly everything else.

*I say almost because I couldn't copy a folder;  it's my "work" folder I keep on my Desktop.  I create a folder each month, like "Dec-10" and save everything for that month in it, then after the month is done, I create another and drag the previous month's folder into the current one.  After trying several times and getting an error message, it dawned on me that I must have met some limit imposed by Windows, either the number of nested folders or perhaps maxing out the length of a file name due to that.  Doing a little research, I found there is a limit of 65,536 entries in a directory--that's what I found, whether that's the problem could be debatable.

What's not debatable is I am a cyber-pack rat, saving nearly everything and seldom throwing the stupid stuff away. (which is nearly all of what I save)

Whatever, I got my stuff saved now.  Whew.  I would've hated to have lost my photos, although the "best" have been uploaded to Picassa.  What would've made me sick would have been losing my music, especially the six different versions of "It's a Long Way to the Top (if you want to rock and roll)".

December 27, 2010

Why Didn't I Think of That?

Actually, I have, but didn't figure it would pay.

Man quits job, makes living suing e-mail spammers

I DID have cruel fantasies about chopping off their hands, though.

December 23, 2010

I Would've Thought "Bah Humbug"



You Are Merry Christmas




You are a traditionalist when it comes to the holidays, and you aren't going to be politically correct about it.

You celebrate Christmas, and you don't think there's any reason to hide it. Most other people celebrate it too.


You are content to wish everyone a "Merry Christmas." It doesn't have to be a religious thing.

"Happy Holidays" is just too generic for your taste. You aren't going to tone down your greeting for anyone.


12 Creative Christmas Ads

From Odee: 12 Creative Christmas Ads

The first one caught my eye because it reminded me of our dear, departed friend Brad. I think he would've liked it.

(click for larger image)


From the site:

Origami Christmas tree ball made out of newspaper, with a special advertisement for Christmas.


This Christmas all readers of the Almere Vandaag get an extra present. This free morning newspaper for all Almere residents gives away due to this festivity an origami Christmas tree ball made out of newspaper. You have to fold it yourself, of course. Gladly, the Almere Vandaag also provides the readers with a 2-steps folding instruction for beginners. So it's not complicated and you'll enjoy building it.

December 22, 2010

Strange Christmas Facts

From the Photobucket archives:


Saint Nicholas of Myra, the original Santa Claus, was the patron saint of children, thieves and pawnbrokers.

Based on previous surveys, 17 percent of you will embarrass yourselves in some way at your office Christmas party.

A Mongolian wild ass can run 8 mph faster than a reindeer.

It's Donder, not Donner.

Christmas pudding should be stirred from east to west.

56 percent of Americans sing holiday carols to their pets.

53 percent of Americans plan to "re-gift" this year.

1 in 3 men will wait until Christmas Eve to finish their shopping.

1 in 6 men would like to get rid of all the "gift-giving nonsense."

A traditional Christmas dinner in early England was the head of a pig prepared with mustard.

On Christmas Eve in 2001, the Bethlehem Hotel had 208 of its 210 rooms free.

It's "God rest ye merry, gentlemen," not "God rest ye, merry gentlemen."

There are 1.76 billion candy canes produced every year.

Kris Kringel, a man in his 40s, lives in North Pole, Alaska, and delivers pizzas for a living. He drives a 1984 Ford Tempo.

Based on a 1999 estimated population count of North America and Europe, on Christmas Eve of that year Santa Claus had to visit 42,466,666 homes in a 12-hour period -- that's 983 homes per second.

December 21, 2010

Spot On !



Your Attachment Style is Dismissing




You are confident and extremely independent. You honestly don't think about others' opinions.

You believe that you are worthwhile and deserve the best. Getting it is a whole other matter.

You have trouble getting close to people. You've been burned before, and you're not eager to be burned again.

You tend to spend a lot of time alone. You're much more comfortable when you're by yourself.

December 19, 2010

Might Be Gone

My hard drive is making funny noises, so I might be gone f/ a while. Sad thing is I have a brand new external drive, but never did hook it up. -sigh-

Getting worse as I type this. Yikes.

Might be time f/ new PC.

Love to all


UPDATE: Seems to have sorted itself out; was probably just a dust bunny in the bearing. Still, I need to hook up the ext. hard drive, not that it would help this computer, but I would like to backup my music and photos.

December 14, 2010

Gort! Klaatu barada nikto!

Found a cool trick at Firefox Facts:  

25 Most Popular Firefox Support Tips in 2010

For those of you playing with Firefox 3 – Beta 5, try typing about:robots into your address bar and hit enter.


Which will bring up a page with this: (click image for larger view)



December 12, 2010

gallivant

gallivant\ GAL-uh-vant \ , verb;
1. To wander about, seeking pleasure or diversion; gad.
2. To go about with members of the opposite sex


It's been so long since I've gallivanted, I think I've forgotten.

December 11, 2010

Orange You Glad?

You don't have to kiss me?

Any raspberry kissers out there?



Your Kisses Taste Like Oranges





You are cool headed in all aspects of your life, including kissing. You don't rush into things.

You make sure to put others before yourself. You're an excellent kisser, and you don't kiss and tell.

You are always smiling. You're optimistic and cheerful, even when your kisses are rebuffed.

You and a raspberry kisser will experience true romantic bliss, but a peach kisser will be too much drama for your taste!

December 1, 2010

Draw Poker, No Joker

I was playing a game of poker earlier today; I threw away a queen out of a pair, hoping to at least get a flush, but drew into a Royal Flush





















I was afraid to bet it too big, but my computer opponents insisted upon raising my fairly modest wager.  In hindsight, I wish I had bet more.












Yep, read 'em and weep.

November 28, 2010

Grate Ejucashun

I've been keeping up with my alma mater's football team via their Facebook page: Miami Warriors Football Fan Page

I noticed something when I first "liked" the page and have kept waiting for someone to fix it.



I guess I shouldn't be hard on whoever started the page and wrote the description. They probably went to school there, just as I did...and you know how bad my own writing are is.

November 27, 2010

At First

I thought this was a quiz about insects.

I agree w/ most of the results, although I'd never, ever buy a red car. They get ticketed the most.



You Are a Red Bug




You are passionate, spontaneous, and even a little bit wild.

Your emotions drive you, and you can be surprisingly aggressive at times.

You sometimes act without thinking. You tend to follow your desires.

You are big on instant gratification. You find it hard to wait for what you want.

Duelling How-Tos

Two WikiHow articles that popped up in my reader yesterday and today:



November 24, 2010

My Heart Skips a Beat - Buck Owens

Every time I see the "Friendship Heart" application on Facebook, I think of this song.

November 23, 2010

ABC Outs FN Chef!





















As far as I am concerned, Fieri should just STAY in the closet.

November 21, 2010

November 18, 2010

'95 Pampa Tornado

I hadn't seen this video;  it's of the second, more powerful tornado that came very close to the prison.

Gross Countries Visit This Blog

Uh, I mean a gross of countries.






From the latest Flag Counter stats

November 17, 2010

I'm a Night Owl



You Burn the Midnight Oil




No matter how hard you try, you just don't make a good morning person.

You probably don't feel like your brain turns on until at least noon.

You tend to get energized and inspired late into the evening - no matter how early you had to get up.

Try to schedule your time so that you can be productive after dark. There's no use fighting who you are.

idioglossia

idioglossia\ id-ee-uh-GLOS-ee-uh \ , noun;
1. A private form of speech invented by one child or by children who are in close contact, as twins.
2. A pathological condition in which a person's speech is so severely distorted that it is unintelligible.


Or, maybe how we Texans talk. For example, in Tex-speech, my sister Sharon's name is pronounced "Shurren".

If I Had a Daughter...

She'd probably look and act something like this young girl.

She'd most likely sing and curse like this, too.

WARNING! Some graphic language!

November 16, 2010

Beer Gear

I got a Coors gear catalog in the mail yesterday; I was surprised at how much all the stuff cost - tshirts for $18.50, sweatshirts for forty bucks and up, etc. There was even a Coors beer can mini-fridge for $180 (plus shipping and handling!). (online store)

I'll never buy any beer or liquor shirts; I've got loads left over from when I worked at the pkg. store...and I got those for free. I still get some free stuff now 'n then because when I see one of the vendors at the grocery store I ask 'em if they've got anything. Most of the time they don't - they tell me that part of the budget has been cut way back - but sometimes they do.

What gets me is that, if I bought something, it'd be free advertising for them. Seems like they should furnish the clothing and pay me!

November 13, 2010

P.O.'d Possum



The noise at around :28 seconds in is the Beej, annoyed that I was outside and not paying attention to him. Later in the vid I'm poking a stick near the cage.

October 15, 2010

Who'd a Thunk Punk?




You Are Punk Music



You've thought long and hard about what mainstream society has to offer...

And you've pretty much decided that most normal things aren't for you.

You're creative, expressive, and likely to do things yourself.

You are a rebel and a fighter. You'll defend your point of view to anyone.






I certainly agree with the parts in bold.

October 9, 2010

This Possum's Not Playing



One down, dunno how many more to go.

My faithful readers have probably noticed I haven't posted much; I've explained before that my connection has slowed to a crawl, but before I have the telephone people out, I wanted to run a new line to my computer,just so they wouldn't have anything to complain about on my end.

A couple of weeks ago, I decided I'd run the new line under the house so I got all the stuff together and made my way through the crawl space at the side of my hovel house. I hadn't gone very far -scootching along on my back, the floor joists just a few inches above my face -when I heard a strange noise, almost a cross between a growl and a hiss. I slowly turned my head and came face-to-face with one pissed off possum.

The details are a bit fuzzy, but I do remember trying to jerk myself upright, but there wasn't enough room for me to raise my head very much and I banged my noggin on one of the beams. Thank goodness I had a thick sock cap on to protect my head from the nasty, damp dirt (it had been raining) or I might have done some serious damage to my otherwise thick skull. I'm not for sure how long I was out - couldn't have been too long - but when I woke up there was a possum chewing on my pants leg.

I made my way out from under the house and after a couple of days recuperation from what I'm sure was a fairly good concussion, I found a trap my nephew had given me and set it up by the entrance to the crawl space. (it took me a while to figure out the simple mechanism, and I'm sure the blow to my head had something to do with my cognitive skills)

It took a few tries to get the trap working properly, but I found out what possums like to eat; wieners, chicken bones, lunch meat, etc. They don't seem to like bananas or strawberries though. As I said, I wasn't setting the trap properly and the bait was stolen several times (except for the fruit, they left that alone)

I found this little guy in the trap the next morning and he wasn't pleased at all to be cooped up. Still angry over nearly knocking myself out, I thought I might just shoot the little bugger, but decided I'd better just take him out to the country and let him go. (Still, I secretly hoped a coyote would give him a slow, painful death.)

It rained all the next day and I didn't release him as planned. Checking on him (and feeding it a couple of weiners)I saw it looked miserable and cold. I found an old towel, covered the cage and brought it on the porch. (and now need to clean the possum poop off the porch and will do so as soon as it dries up) I drove just past the city limits the next day and released it near a tree-filled gully. I'm sure it was as glad to get away from me as I was from it.

I've got a video I took just before I released it and will post it as soon as I get my connection sorted out. This photo took about five minutes+ to upload, so there's no way a video would be feasible at this time.

Not sure how many more are under my house, but I'm bringing a baseball bat the next time I venture under there. I'll probably wind up knocking myself out with it if I get scared again.

(There you go, Colleen! Stay tuned for the video!)

September 27, 2010

I Think That I Shall Never See

Another quiz about a tree.




You Are an Autumn Tree



You are contemplative and deep. You enjoy observing the world around you.

You know that change is inevitable, and you try to roll with whatever life brings.

You can see the extraordinary in the ordinary. You are easily inspired.

You try to remain balanced and steady in the face of upheaval.


Lazy Sunday

I haven't been doing much in this blog - as you can tell, huh? I really haven't felt like it, plus I really need to run a new line to this computer and increase my speed back up to where it's supposed to be. In fact, the snail's pace of my DSL connection has kept me from doing much at all online. I've got some photos to upload, but I don't care to play a half-dozen games of Hearts waiting on the upload and I can forget having more than one or two tabs open at a time. I really enjoy listening to my Launchcast radio, but it takes so long to load the player I've almost given up on that.

Yesterday was really a lazy day for me and other than playing the ToTG Triva Tournament, I didn't check in here, not even to check the visitor stats from either of the "counters" I have. It must have been a lazy Sunday for everyone else because we had the least amount of visitors since I started the blog, unique OR repeat.



Still, there were a few visitors to the Cast Away threads and a couple for my post on "The Short Bus" but I was surprised there was no one checking out "My Sister's Feet" or the Gay Dwarfs.

Brought to you by the letters "T&A"

Katy Perry's Boobs Banned from "Sesame Street"

It seems the only boobs allowed on network television are the ones doing the programming.

September 21, 2010

brobdingnagian

brobdingnagian\ brob-ding-NAG-ee-uhn \ , adjective;
1. Of extraordinary size; gigantic; enormous.



One widget is worth a thousand words.

September 20, 2010

imago

imago\ ih-MAH-goh \ , noun;
1. An idealized concept of a loved one, formed in childhood and retained unaltered in adult life.
2. Entomology . An adult insect.



A few years back, an old girlfriend from high school re-entered my life; at the time, I didn't have a significant other and was thrilled to see the woman, one of my first loves. We were visiting, catching up on family and old friends and I was reminiscing about things that had happened those many years ago and she looked distressed.

"Mike, I'm not the same person I was back then."

Fair enough, I thought; I'm wasn't either, but I thought it might be flattering to her for me to remember so many things we had done together. Oh well, maybe she didn't view those times with as much fondness as did I.

It would have taken a deaf and blind person to have not noticed the signals she was sending out, though...she wanted something immediate, something "physical". - ahem-

I turned to her and said "You remember back when we were kids? We'd go parking - you would want to talk and I'd want to fool around?" She nodded, with a small smile on her face that vanished when I went on:

"Well, now it's the other way around."

Television Hell

I couldn't sleep last night, so I decided to watch some TV, find something on that wasn't TOO interesting as so to bore and lull me to sleep. Flipping through the channels, I couldn't find anything to suit the purpose; there were no replays of baseball games, the news upsets me, and, while infomercials certainly do bore me to tears, I find myself getting hungry watching people use "chop-o-matics", power juicers and especially mini-grills.

Flipping over to the TVLand channel in hopes of finding a M*A*S*H episode I've seen a hundred times before, I found an episode of The Nanny to watch. Now, normally, I would never watch that show - Fran Drescher's voice is akin to fingernails on a chalkboard - there was nothing else on, so I settled in to watch. The half hour went by excruciatingly slow and I was relieved when it was over, hoping that the next offering would be better...but no, there was another Nanny after that one.

Getting up to check the listings, I saw that it was one of many of the same series on, all in a row; it was a Nanny marathon!

It didn't take me long to figure out just how to best watch a Nanny episode; just turn off the sound and focus on Fran Drescher's legs.



Ever talk on the phone to someone you've never seen, then meet them in person and being amazed that the person's face doesn't match up to the voice? I'd like to know how those lovely legs can belong to someone with such a horrible voice.

September 18, 2010

Deep...and wide




You Are Deep



You try to observe the world rather than judge it. You feel like you are here to learn.

You see every side to people. You know that things are complicated and nuanced.

You have trouble getting along with people who are flippant or silly. You crave substance.

You connect best with philosophical, thoughtful types. Your friends care about ideas.


September 17, 2010

Axed in the Eye

I was at WalMart the other day and stopped at the men's fragrance aisle to look at a new Axe product. I like the stuff, even though the other day I saw a post in a forum where the comment was made "that stinks worse than does five-yr. olds turned loose in the Axe aisle.". I was alone except for a woman looking at the shaving supplies. (she didn't have a beard, so I figured she was buying something for her husband)

I picked up a fragrance I hadn't seen before and lowered my glasses (I need bifocals!) to read the name on the canister, then tried to get a hint of what it smelled like by bringing it up to my nose and sniffing the pinhole where the spray comes out. I couldn't smell anything, so I pushed the button to get a better idea of how it smelled...

...and sprayed it right in my eye!

I dropped the container and yelled, getting the attention of the woman.

"Stuff stinks, don't it?"

September 16, 2010

Famous Last Words

From the email archives:

Famous Last Words


"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".

"Don't touch the red button!"

"Gee, that's a cute tattoo."

It's fireproof.

"What does this button do?"

"So, you're a cannibal."

"Are you sure the power is off?"

"Pull the pin and count to what?"

"Don’t worry, it has airbags."

"Hey, what’s that buzzing noise?"

"Don’t worry, it's not that deep."

"One time at band camp...."

"No, he doesn’t bite."

"Hey, look! A light at the end of the tunnel!"

"I can pass this guy."

"My brakes are fine."

"Nice doggy."

"I think it's trying to communicate..."

"Homicidal Tendencies"?

"Nah, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

September 14, 2010

ambrosial

ambrosial\ am-BROH-zhuhl \ , adjective;
1. Exceptionally pleasing to taste or smell; especially delicious or fragrant.
2. Worthy of the gods; divine.



I can think of several things ambrosial; my friend Barb's fudge, my grandmother's fried chicken and my momma's roast beef, but there is one memory of ambrosia that really stands out: once, after a hot, hard dusty day moving the rig, my crew and I walked over to a nearby windmill and had some of the coldest, cleanest water I've ever consumed.

Funny how a simple drink of water could bring so much pleasure.

September 13, 2010

And Sharp as a Cactus!




You Are Witty



You are a hilarious and expressive person. You love to entertain a crowd.

You see humor in everything, and you enjoy making light of situations.

Your friends depend on you for comic relief, and they usually don't even mind when it's at their expense.

You know that the key to being funny is pushing the envelope. And you are always willing to take a risk.


September 12, 2010

subaudition

subaudition\suhb-aw-DISH-uhn \ , noun;
1. An act or instance of understanding or mentally supplying something not expressed.



Wasn't familiar with this word, but sure familiar with the definition, having been married.

September 10, 2010

New Country for Old Blog

Just checked in on our Flag Counter to see who has been visiting lately and noticed a new flag:

Antigua and Barbuda



At first I thought "What a pretty flag!"

My next thought was: "Wow, that looks like a woman looking through her sunburned thighs at the Caribbean sunset!"

September 8, 2010

gerrymander

gerrymander\ JER-i-man-der \ , verb;

1. The dividing of a state, county, etc., into election districts so as to give one political party a majority in many districts while concentrating the voting strength of the other party into as few districts as possible.

Origin: Gerrymander is named after E. Gerry (governor of Massachusetts, whose party redistricted the state in 1812) + (sala)mander, from the fancied resemblance of the map of Essex County, Mass., to this animal, after the redistricting.



Gerrymandering: Invented in Massachusetts, "perfected" in Texas.

September 7, 2010

kenspeckle

kenspeckle\ KEN-spek-uhl \ , adjective;
1. Conspicuous; easily seen or recognized.



Whatever the antonym/opposite of this word is, that's me.

That is, unless it's like "the opposite of gay is depressed". In that case, I guess that could be me.

September 3, 2010

Don't Forget!


To play in the ToTG Trivia Tournament






Like I did yesterday

cachinnate

cachinnate\ KAK-uh-neyt \ , verb;

1. To laugh loudly or immoderately.



There's not much to cachinnate over these days.

August 30, 2010

Pak-a-Burger Has the Best Hamburgers

Bar nun.




I took these photos and a few more a few years ago; It was a beautiful spring day and I was driving past when I noticed two nuns sitting in front waiting on their orders. I stopped, approached them and told them exactly what I wanted to do with the photos if they allowed me to take them. They both giggled and gave their consent.

They told me their names, but I can't remember them now after a couple of years. I'm pretty sure one was "Sister Mary" or maybe "Sister Teresa" but maybe I'm just hedgin' my bet with those guesses.

On a related note, the building was repainted, thank God. Seriously, thank God that it was repainted, thank God it changed hands. The burgers were horrible.

About the only thing it had goin' for it, I guess, was that the customers were good.

August 29, 2010

Figure Skating

Kathleen Madigan: Figure Skating:

"I always wanted to be a figure skater as a kid, too, that was like my fantasy dream. But whenever I watch it, I think I would have totally done it alone. I don't know how these people have enough control over the tempers to be working with a partner. Because if I worked with some guy for 15 years, and we got to the Olympics, and out of nowhere he just fell -- oh, I'd skate around just to chop off his fingers. I would, and I would not feel bad about that -- ever. 'Now when you're nubbing your cereal spoon in the morning, you can look at that box and remember why we're not on it.'"

I Should Have Been a Rocket Surgeon

August 28, 2010

couchant

couchant\ KOU-chuhnt \ , adjective;
1. Lying down; crouching; reclining.
2. Heraldry (Of an animal) represented as lying on its stomach with its hind legs and forelegs pointed forward.



I didn't know this word; first thing I thought of when I saw it was the Word of the Day was Charro




I guess I was thinking of her "coochi chant" she used to do.

3 Women

Just noticed this on my Excite start page's "Born Today" module:

Musician LeAnn Rimes born 1982
Musician Shania Twain born 1965
Actress Emma Samms born 1961

What's unique about this is that these three women would all be on my "makes my heart go pitty-pat" list.

August 27, 2010

Pain TV

Last night I was having problems finding something decent to watch. There was a Mythbusters repeat episode on, but I had seen it. It was about withstanding pain:



Looking through the TV listings, I noticed other "pain" shows on at the same time, one being Royal Pains, a decent show I've sometimes watched. Other shows were on, and they too were pain-related.



There was Jersey Shore with ignorant-ass NJ young people that need to have some pain inflicted upon all of them, not just Snookie (Google "Snookie punched" for the vid). There was also George Lopez, whose shows -both talk and sit-com - I find painful to watch (NOT funny). Lastly, there was Anderson Cooper, a PITA progressive.

Won't be long until I have to take codeine to watch TV.

August 26, 2010

Growing Problem



A nifty widget.

orthoepy

orthoepy\ awr-THOH-uh-pee \ , noun;
1. The study of correct pronunciation.
2. The study of the relationship between the pronunciation of words and their orthography.



This is something I should study before old-timers Alzheimer's disease sets in.

I Am Spock




Your Brain is Logical



You are a very facts and figures oriented person. You don't get clouded by emotion.

You like to understand how things work, and you're always collecting data of some sort.

You are a critical thinker. You are look at all the facts before you make a decision.

You aren't likely to change your mind once it's made up, but new facts could sway you - emotional appeals could not.


August 25, 2010

We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister

Just a little reminder to Congress, aimed at both leftist progs. and neo-con right-wingers

galore

galore\ guh-LOHR \ , adjective;

1. In abundance; in plentiful amounts.



The only thing that's galore around these parts are my bills.

To be honest, the first thing I thought of when I saw today's Word of the Day was the character in Goldfinger.

Shame on me ... for being a James Bond fan.

August 24, 2010

No Goatee for Old Goats

For about a month, up until yesterday, I've been trying to grow a goatee. I've got, IMHO, a pretty fair mustache and have had one for most of my adult life, having shaved it off only a few times, then immediately started growing it back.

My 'stache is one thing; hair on the rest of my body is another story. Not to get too personal, but I only have about half a dozen hairs on my chest and none on my back (thank God for the latter). I've never been able to grow a beard, though, but as I've grown older the hair on my face has become a little bit thicker, so I thought I'd try to at least grow some on my chin.

As I said, I gave it a month but it just didn't look good....sparse, with far too much white and gray hair. (and as I grow older, I am getting a lot more hair IN my ears...it's white too, dammit) Looking at myself in the mirror yesterday, I lamented that I'll probably never be able to grow a beard, then it dawned on me just who I resembled with my silly-looking chin hair.

I didn't want to take a photo, because even as much as I like to self-deprecate to get a laugh, I didn't want people REALLY laughing at me. Instead, I did a Google search and found a near-perfect likeness:



As I gazed in the mirror, a voice in my head said:

"Ru rook redicurous."

August 22, 2010

Not Silver and Blue, But Green

Since I fell asleep during last nights Cowboys-Chargers pre-season game, I went to the Dallas football team's website to catch up on what I missed.

In this article: Brewster Makes Most Of Starting Role, there's an embedded video of an interview with the Cowboy rookie. Here's a screen shot:

screenshot of Cowboy's Brewster

I'm not sure what that green "noise" is in the vid, but it sure looks strange! It sort of looks like my tv does now, only it's a reddish tint and I'm sure it's from imminent picture tube failure.

This would be a good place to put a related "green" video, something like "Green Grass of Home" by Tom Jones or "Green Green" by the New Christy Minstrels.

Nah.

August 21, 2010

foudroyant

foudroyant\ foo-DROI-uhnt \ , adjective;
1. Overwhelming and sudden in effect.
2. Pathology . (Of disease) beginning in a sudden and severe form.
3. Striking as with lightning.



I've been hoping the Dallas Cowboys offense will be foudroyant - as in striking with lightning - but the word would probably better describe the sudden rash of injuries the team has suffered lately.

August 17, 2010

With Red Ink




You Are a Green Pen



You are not just a little quirky, you're downright weird. And you're proud of being different!

You go against the grain just so you won't fit in. You couldn't imagine being like everyone else.

You are creative and a big wacky. You've got a big vision, and it's changing every week.

You are surprisingly charming and popular. You may not be normal in any way, but that's part of your appeal.


August 16, 2010

August 15, 2010

It Was a Good Day

Until I read my fortune:



My last New Year's resolution was to never make another resolution.

Do Ya - ELO

August 14, 2010

premorse

premorse\ pri-MAWRS\ adjective;
1. Pertaining to the end of something irregularly shortened, as if bitten or broken off.



Another new word for me.

It got me to thinking of the things in my life this word describes. My first thought was of my thumb on my left hand, the one I cut nearly off when I was a young child. It's not noticeable unless I point it out to people, but it's smaller and shorter than my other thumb. The darn thing has bothered me all my life because there's a small mass of scar tissue or what's left of a severed tendon that will hurt if I grip something the "wrong" way with that hand.

Ever heard the old adage "Sticks out like a sore thumb?". I've lived that expression, both literally and figuratively.

Can't remember exactly where I wrote about it, but I did tell the story of a guy I used to work for that had part of his nose missing, bitten off in a long-ago bar fight.

Other things in my life prematurely shortened? For one, my marriage. It probably should've lasted at least another couple of months.

Funny thing about my thumb and my ex-wife; her dad was a doctor and he told me my thumb could be repaired and could do it in an hour or so, easy as pie: a local, reattach the tendon, a few stitches. I probably should have extended my failed marriage at least that much longer.

Just as well, the divorce. I stuck out like a sore thumb in her family, anyway. (both literally and figuratively)

My hair is another thing of premorse; its life span has not only been irregularly shortened, it's starting to disappear.

I've had people in my life whose lives were irregularly shortened too, but I just don't feel like writing about that right now. In fact, it's made me so sad I think I'll stop right here.

That would mean this post is premorse, huh?


EDIT TO ADD

Found the "nose biting" post: Who Nose?

August 13, 2010

Two-Scoop Rebel




You Are a Rebel



You're a wild child, and you aren't about to slow down anytime soon.

You're the type of person who will do something just to say that you did it!

You don't worry too much about getting caught - you're having too much fun breaking the rules.

While you may not be involved in illegal activities, you do like breaking social norms.


August 7, 2010

mojo

mojo \ MOH-joh \

noun:
1. Personal magnetism; charm.
2. The art or practice of casting magic spells; magic; voodoo.
3. An object, as an amulet or charm, that is believed to carry a magic spell.
4. Good luck or favor concerning an event or individual.



I used to have a lot of mojo (definition #1, anyway) when I was younger.

I'm not sure that whether I've lost it because I'm older, or I just can't remember where I put it because I'm older.

August 6, 2010

yeuk

yeuk\ YOOK \
noun: 1. An itching sensation.

verb: 1. To itch.



Now all I need to know is another word for "scratch".

August 5, 2010

cheechako

cheechako \ chee-CHAH-koh \, noun:

1. A tenderfoot; greenhorn; newcomer.



Oil field terminology isn't quite so kind to people starting out on the job; they're called "worms". (and if they're particularly inept, they're called "weevils", which is a worm's helper.)

It's National Underwear Day!

national underwear day logo"Official Site"

I remember my mother always telling me to be sure I had on clean underwear in case I was in a wreck. I never did say anything to her, but I always figured that if I was in a wreck, clean underwear might very well be the least of my problems.

Still, I always have on clean underwear. While not as big of an obsession with me as my socks, I have several dozens of pairs of underwear. I doubt that there's more than a couple of pairs of white ones; my underwear collection has more colors than a rainbow. I really like gray, but also buy black, blue, green and a few other colors, some in "Miami Vice" pastels.

That's the only "fancy" thing about my undies; I don't buy the nylon nor silk material but prefer cotton. I've had a few pairs of expensive underwear made of something other than cotton, but didn't like the way it felt against my skin. Plus, they also made me walk a little differently. Don't ask why.

My favorite underwear would either be my Soviet boxers, with the hammer and sickle on them or my several pairs of Hank Hill undies. I am also partial to my King Kong underwear - not making a statement when I wear them, but it's probably just wishful thinking.

What I like most about my underwear collection is that most of my larger/size Large pairs are getting several years old and I've replaced them with medium sizes.

Like I mentioned, I don't obsess about my underwear like I do my socks, but they ARE important to me. I change my undies every day, even if for some reason I miss my daily shower.

It's a comfort to me to think that if I DID get into a wreck, I wouldn't let my mother down.

August 4, 2010

Facebook Poking



Are you a Facebook fan? Even though I've been signed up for a few years, I've only recently started using the service, but post/visit even less than I do this blog. It's a great way to keep up w/ some old classmates as well as friends and family members. I don't really care for the basic setup, but I realize it's a good thing for many people because of its simplicity and ease of use. OTOH, the security flaws seem to be all-too-frequent and should concern anyone who cares about their privacy. Still, it's better than MySpace.

Shoot, anything is better than MySpace.

So when I was sitting in the United diner last week and overheard "Facebook" being mentioned by the couple sitting at the next table over, my ears perked up. The young lady was disturbed that he had many female friends, but was really upset about the "pokes" back and forth.

Now, if you don't know, "poking" on Facebook is the cyber equivalent of a friendly nudge in the ribs. Two of my friends and I exchange fairly regular "pokes". It's a quick and easy way - short of actually posting on their "wall" - to let them know you read their posts and while you might not comment, you're thinking of them. (well, that's what it means to me, but....)

The girl and the guy kept going back and forth, the girl being jealous and making no bones about it and the guy trying vainly to reassure his g/f that the "pokes" should be no concern to her.

"It's no big deal." he said. He went on, trying plead his innocence. "It's just on Facebook."

There was a extended pause in the conversation and when the girl finally spoke up, it made me snort Diet Dr. Pepper out my nose.

"Well...." she replied, "Facebook BETTER be the only place you're pokin' them."

Food For Thought

Because it seems I'm always thinking about food. This quiz says differently, but one question about ethnic food didn't have the right options. (Taco Bell ethnic? The other choices were sushi - yeah, right - and Ethiopian. I bet there's not an Ethiopian place within a thousand miles of here.)




You Are a Part-time Foodie



Food is definitely something you get excited about. You love to eat!

And while each meal you have may not be extremely special, you try to spice things up a bit.

You aren't a very picky eater, and you're always looking to expand what you like.

You are willing to give almost anything a go, and you're quite the creative cook.


August 3, 2010

I'm Glad I Don't Live

in "Taxachusetts"

From CNN: Your share of the state debt

States are taking on more debt. Here’s your state’s burden per capita.

(click link above or graphic below to go to the site)

tax burden by state

August 2, 2010

Brainstorming




is going on in the ToTG Trivia Tournament!





A new month and contest has begun!

Test your trivia knowledge against some sharp wit!

(well, in my case it's dull wit and half at that)

ToTG Trivia Tournament

July 30, 2010

casuistry

casuistry\ KAZH-oo-uh-stree \ , noun;

1. Specious, deceptive, or oversubtle reasoning, esp. in questions of morality.
2. The application of general ethical principles to particular cases of conscience or conduct.



I was unfamiliar with this word, but I have understood the definitions of it for a long time.

I've a friend who won't eat pork because of the dietary laws in Leviticus. I understand his thinking on that and prefer to not knock someone for their religious beliefs and I myself seldom eat pork. (but not for religious reasons) Still, he picks and chooses just what he obeys of all those laws, not being as strict as the laws command, such as using certain utensils/cookware for different tasks, etc. To me, that fits the first definition.

(I'd still rather discuss the Bible with him than his views that the CIA killed JFK, the moon landings were faked and especially how he thinks the Masons are a satanic organization. )

The second definition reminds me of the game of politics; one party's member will be indicted and the other party crows about it. The next week the same thing happens, only it's a vice-versa deal.

No Need to "EXCUUUUUSE" you, Steve

Especially when you speak the truth.





A movie star can be tall, short, thin, or skinny. They can be democrats... or skinny.

- Steve Martin







Image courtesy of

July 28, 2010

behemoth

behemoth\ bih-HEE-muhth \ , noun;
1. Any creature or thing of monstrous size or power
2. An animal, perhaps the hippopotamus, mentioned in the Book of Job.


As soon as I saw this word in our Word of the Day feed, I instantly remembered the first time I ever heard it used in everyday speech.

The memory is clear as polished glass; we were playing Turpin, Oklahoma, perennial state 8-Man champs. I was a freshman, thrown into the starting right guard spot due to a senior having to quit school because of getting a girl pregnant.

It was the pre-game warmups and as a classmate and I jogged to the back of the line for the drill we were doing, we turned to look at the Turpin team performing their own exercises a few yards away. They were clad in all-red* uniforms, at least 40 guys suited up. (and this is a "small" school). We were lucky to have less than half that number on our roster, and our uniforms were old, patched and faded white (yep, faded white!).

*I believe all the OK. schools we played had red in their school colors - red makes a team "look" fast and larger, while black is intimidating and mean-looking. As I said, we were dressed in white, looking like a bunch of skinny, fresh-faced medical interns.

Even with the mass of red-clad Okies, it wasn't hard to immediately notice a HUGE guy. The program had him listed at 6'4 and 265 lbs. but I think they were sandbaggin' on those figures.  Now, these days guys of that size can be found in many larger school programs, but back then, especially in OUR league, that was a monster. I was probably a bit larger than avg. for most small school teams, 5'9" on tippy toes and 150 lbs. IF soppin' wet and weighed immediately after Thanksgiving dinner.

After staring at the guy for a minute, watching as he slowly shuffled to the end of the line in his own drill, I turned to my friend and exclaimed:

"Good - gawd - awmighty." I knew it was my imagination, but it felt like the ground was moving with each step he took. The pounding, I knew though, was my heart.

"The guy's a *#^%$#@* behemoth." replied my friend.

He turned to me and then said: "I hope coach doesn't put me in tonight."

Those were my sentiments too, but I knew I was going to have to play on offense, at least, and I said a quick prayer that I wouldn't embarrass myself in front of all these Okies, plus friends and family. Mostly I wanted to get through the game without serious injury.

Thank the Lord I didn't have to play directly opposite of him. I still had to pull on certain plays and (attempt to) block him on trap plays or in some pass protection schemes. I had the best luck blocking him on the pulling plays; at least I could work up a few steps worth of momentum. Even then I usually bounced off of the mountainous "young" man . (I say "young" because I later found out the guy was 19 when the school year started and had turned 20 at the start of the season, legal within the OK rules at the time. Hell, the guy had a beard, a thick one that looked like it could be used in lieu of sandpaper! I was barely 14, barely had hair under my arms, much less on my face!)

It was one horrifying play that I remember the most about that game. We were running a play to the opposite side of the line than mine, a draw-type play meant to pull the huge guy away from the run...but it didn't work. Another classmate of mine, another freshman starting because of an upperclassman's problems (grades) was the ball carrier and was met at the line of scrimmage by the guy. My teammate was picked up like a sack of feed, much like I expect the huge guy had done a zillion times, and slammed on the ground ... again, much like a sack of feed.

Dave, my classmate, literally bounced off the ground, his head hitting not once, but hitting again on the rebound. Several of us rushed over to him and helped him to his feet.
Photobucket

He seemed to be all right, but as we huddled for the next play, he started calling a play that we didn't even have in the playbook. He shouldn't have been calling the play because he wasn't the quarterback. (He had transferred the year previous, and after later telling him the play he was calling, he said that was a play from his old school's team) He was led off the field and didn't return to action. At the time I was a bit jealous of him.

We later found that he had suffered a concussion, and no wonder; his helmet was cracked all the way from the top to the back!

After the game was over (we got our butts kicked, something like 73-0), the opposing teams met in the middle of the field and shook hands. As I got to the big guy, I shook his hand (the size of a small ham) and leaned my head back as far as my shoulder pads would allow and asked him:

"How the hell did you get so big?"

He grinned, showing a couple of missing front teeth, and replied:

"Eatin' a lotta corn and drinkin' a lotta whisky!"

I believed him. Wasn't gonna call him on it, anyway.


If this silly memory story was deflating
Photobucket

Go check out What It Was, Was Football

It's funnier.

This Should Clear Things Up

Kevin Brady's Obamacare Chart

Obama healthcare flow chart.  Link to full-sized graphic

View larger size.

Embed code available. ( too large for this layout)

July 26, 2010

DSL Problems

So I might not be here for however it takes to suss out. I'm lucky to be online now, did so much better w/ it than I did w/ the foreign dude who tried to help me earlier. He was very polite, just unintelligible.



UPDATE: Still having problems, but it's not on my end. I had arranged for a repairman, but figured I'd best check MY end of things and avoid a service charge. (took longer to cancel the appt. than it did to troubleshoot my connection and make the appt.)

Ran a new line, but still No Joy. It's hard to post things when the posting window times out, so I'll curtail my posting for a few days more. Don't worry about me, I'm fine, just stuck in not-much-more than dial-up land.


Another "bump" just to let my regular readers know I've not vanished off the face of the Earth. Love to all my friends and family!

(those that read this blog and those that can read)


Update 7-26

Still have some line problems, but have had OTHER problems to deal with, nothing to concern anyone, also like to take a break from the computer at times.

July 24, 2010

zaftig

zaftig \ ZAHF-tik \ , adjective;
1. Full-bodied; well-proportioned.

Origin: Zaftig is a borrowing from Yiddish, zaftik, literally meaning "juicy."



A rarely used word which I am familiar with because that's the physical type of woman to whom I am attracted. (that's an odd sentence structure, but I'm leavin' it that way)

To add to this post I Googled up zaftig images and nearly went blind when I looked at the results. I then clicked the "clipart" option and found this to explain my preference for full-figured women:



Sure, the thinner one is attractive, but I still prefer the larger one of the two. It's not just the physical attraction, but she also appeals to me because I'm constantly on the lookout for a girlfriend who not only fits my definition of a sexy woman, but one that also looks like she could help me put up my air conditioner.

Speaking of looking for women, I went to a bar the other night, saw a cute zaftig type of woman standing by the jukebox. I sidled up next to her and asked

"Hey darlin', where ya been all my life?"

She slowly looked me over and dryly replied:

"From the looks of you, I wasn't even alive for the first half."

July 23, 2010

Roy Rogers Cocktail

From Start Sampling





Roy Rogers Cocktail



TGIF!!!

Non alcoholic

Build:

1/2 oz. Grenadine
fill with cola
cherry garnish

Have a great weekend!!!

Please don't drink and drive!



In the comments section, a poster recommends adding spiced rum.

I'm not so sure about that; adding liquor to this drink could distort one's judgment, make you forget the way to Grandmother's house, drown in the river, get lost in the woods.

You could even find yourself over the Dale.