Welcome to ToTG!

December 24, 2016

Don't Forget!

 photo reindeer2_santawaiving_lg_wht.gif
To set out some milk and cookies for Santa!

 photo treat_forsanta_lg_wht.gif

On the other hand, after what happened last year....

 photo santa_stuck_chimney_md_wht.gif

Your Christmas Color

Your Christmas Color is Green

You love an old fashioned, genuine Christmas. And this includes lots of natural elements like trees and wreaths.

You tend to have a simple Christmas that harkens to times past. You like holidays smells, sights, and songs than have been around for decades - if not centuries.

You enjoy every moment of this season, but you don't hold on too tightly. You are good with it all being temporary and special.

You like to bring a little nature indoors if you can during the deadest part of the year. You want a reminder that spring is coming! 


December 15, 2016

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

In the now-iconic 1966 animated TV special Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Boris Karloff was the narrator and voice of the Grinch, but didn't sing its most famous song, You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.  The singer was Thurl Ravenscroft, arguably best known as being the voice of Tony The Tiger from 1953-2004.

December 14, 2016

Elf or Reindeer?

You Are An Elf

You are highly creative and artistic. You are good at working hard.

While you love to work, you also love to play. You have a naughty side to you!

You love pulling pranks and teasing people. You always seem to be getting into some sort of trouble.

People can rely on you to be industrious and responsible... but you're going to have fun while you're getting stuff done.

December 13, 2016

Stranglehold - Ted Nugent

Happy Birthday (born 1948) to the Motor City Madman!

December 9, 2016

Pi / Pie

Talking While Intoxicated


1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon


1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate


1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

December 7, 2016

Encounter With Santa

I went to get some water yesterday evening, but the Culligan store had suffered some vandalism and the vending machine was boarded up. I drove out to the water kiosk in the mall parking lot to use that one, then after I was done, decided I'd get some gasoline at the station at the entrance to Walmart.

While I was pumping my gas, a van drove up next to me and Santa Claus got out! I told him "Hey, man! Why haven't you been to see me lately? It's been over 40 yrs.!"

He looked up from putting the gas nozzle in his tank and wryly said:

"Well, you must've been a BAD boy."

Hard to argue with that!

I'm A NFL Logo Genius!

But I'm not particularly all that chuffed about it.

December 2, 2016

November 30, 2016

A Pseudonym By Any Other Name

Born on this day in 1835, Samuel Langhorne Clemens is better known as "Mark Twain", but before settling on that, wrote under other pen names such as "Josh" and "Thomas Jefferson Snodgrass".

November 25, 2016

The One Moment - OK Go

Broken Link Buzzing

While not technically a 404 page as per the label, this TVBuzer page was still cute...even if the results are basically the same.

"Busy as a bee" works when it's trying to fix a broken link, too.

(click for larger view)

HTTP Error 500 Internal server error

November 24, 2016

Happy Thanksgiving

Cranberry Trivia

Ripe cranberries bounce - hence their alternate name, "bounceberry".

Thanksgiving Personality

A little scary, this one (because it's spot-on):

Your Thanksgiving Personality is Rebel

You detest Thanksgiving. All that family drama mixed with unappetizing side dishes? No thank you!

You'll make an appearance if you absolutely have to, but you won't enjoy it. You probably don't even like pumpkin pie.

Your ideal Thanksgiving would be spent completely alone... or with the few people that you can tolerate.

You'd eat whatever you want - even in front of the TV if you felt like it. And there's a good chance you wouldn't be eating sweet potatoes with marshmallow. Gag! 


November 22, 2016

Dealey Plaza Webcam

A "bump" of this post from over a yr. ago to note the anniversary of the JFK assassination.

Another webcam I frequently visit is the Dealey Plaza Webcam in the southeast corner window of the sixth floor in the former Texas School Book Depository in Dallas. This is the view from the window from which an assassin fired the shots that killed President John F. Kennedy and severely wounded Texas Governor John Connally as the presidential motorcade drove through Dealey Plaza on November 22, 1963.

Here is the Google Earth street view looking back towards the sixth floor. The white "X" on the road marks the spot (the black arrow points to it) where Kennedy was shot.  The black arrow at the top right of the building points toward the storage room where Oswald was perched and fired the shots. It is now the Sixth Floor Museum.

Another street view of the grassy knoll where many think some or all of the shots were fired.

A photo taken that day:

During the day there are almost always tourists and sightseers and I find myself holding my breath while watching someone running out to have their photo taken on the "X".  (the person in the graphic below is hard to see because I had to enlarge it, but they're right in the center of the screen shot.)  This was at around six p.m. and even though the rush hour traffic has lessened, the road was still busy and they quickly had to scamper back as so to not get run over by cars speeding around the corner.

Dealey Plaza Webcam

The Sixth Floor Museum website

November 8, 2016

What's Your Republican Name?

Your Republican Name Is: Randy Wesley
Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. 

Randy Wesley? Really?

What's Your Democrat Name?

Your Democrat Name Is: Xavier Benjamin

Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. 

November 2, 2016

Mule Medicine

To cure a cold, kiss a mule.

I'd hate to think what you'd have to do for a fever.

October 31, 2016

It's Good To Be The King

Well, Stephen King.  THE Stephen King, that is.

Besides the famous horror writer living in Bangor, Maine, there are 2,068 other Stephen Kings living in the U.S. (according to the 2010 Census), 168 of them in Texas.

I'm Cool With Halloween

Although I used to get hot under the collar when the neighborhood thugs would chase my old black cat.

Your Halloween is Chill

You may or may not love Halloween, but you don't go to crazy on this holiday. You simply enjoy your favorite traditions and ignore the rest.

Whether you're watching your favorite Halloween movie, handing out candy, or hiding out until November, you do this holiday your way.

You may not get why people go all out for Halloween, but you appreciate their effort. An original costume or funky craft always makes you smile.

You take everything as it comes in life, and you always look for the bright side. Even if you don't dress up, you always enjoy this time of year! 


October 30, 2016

Obeng Lucy

Hi sweetie, How's going on ? I'm obeng Lucy by name , single Woman never married with no Kids. I'm the honest type, sincere, upfront, affectionate, passionate and God fearing . I just came across your profile , I have to admit that I really enjoy reading it and your picture looks interesting. I'm looking for a serious man to start a serious friendship which is going to lead to something wonderful in the near future. I know you will be wondering where I got your email , please don't look scared, I copied your username on the dating site and paste it in goggle search and it really turn out that your username is the same as your email address so predict that would be you exact and I decided to send you an email , I really want to get to know you in any way because I like your profile. Take care and be looking forward hearing from you with a smile. Lots of kisses and hugs. Until your next..


Dear Obeng Lucy,

You might have seen my profile, but there's no information under it and any photo I had associated with it was that of a horny toad.

No, my user name ISN'T the same, not in here and since I don't belong to any dating sites....

"honest type, sincere, upfront, affectionate, passionate and God fearing"

SURE you are!  Why aren't you spammer/scammers REALLY honest?  "Hello, my name is Matinga Dubuko.  I am a 33 yr. old man,  live in Nigeria and am only pretending to be a woman in order to dupe you into sending me money or sending you a link with my "sexy photos" so that you'll click it and then download some malware that will take over your computer and email accounts and all your passwords."

"Please don't look scared..." Oh, I'm not.  I would love to meet you in person and take a sledgehammer to your hands so you'd never be able to send out this crap ever again.

The caption on your shirt says it all:  GREED.

Boney Dreams

Dreaming of a skeleton on display may signify new, fascinating friends or coming events.

Or, it could mean you've got a hankerin' for some ribs.

October 27, 2016

Halloween Tang Toungler

Try saying this tongue tangler three times fast:

"Which witch wished which wicked witch?"

What's Your Color Code?

Your Color Code is Red

You are a highly independent person, and you seek power in this world, if only to have the freedom to do what you want.

You are confident and action oriented. Nothing bugs you more than to be spinning your wheels when you know you could be getting stuff done.

You are moved by logic and determination. You tend to have a grand vision, and you know how to get there - one step at a time.

You aren't one to be subject to emotion if you can help it. Of course, feelings have their place, but you have to keep pushing through. 


October 23, 2016

TWI - Talking While Intoxicated

From the   Email animation  archives









British Constitution

Passive-aggressive disorder




"Thanks, but I don't want to have sex"

"Nope, no more booze for me"

"Sorry, but you're not really my type"

"Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?"

"Oh I couldn't, nobody wants to hear me sing...."

October 15, 2016

The "at" Symbol

The earliest known example of @ is found in the 1345 Bulgarian translation of the 12th century Manasses Chronicle, which gives a brief synopsis of the history of the world up to the end of the 11th century. In it, @ was used as the symbol for “amin” (amen).

The Smithsonian website differs in the first use, but there's some interesting information in this piece:

The Accidental History of the @ Symbol

October 14, 2016

Fear of Toads

The fear of toads is called bufonophobia.

October 12, 2016

Some Batty Trivia

Bats are the only mammals that fly.
(Flying squirrels merely glide)

October 11, 2016

Keep It or Toss It?

Wondering if that jar of horseradish is still good to eat? Find out at StillTasty, your ultimate shelf life guide. There's a fridge-full of other info on the site with answers to many common perishable food questions:

Can You Safely Drink Milk After the Sell-By Date?
Is it OK to Put Hot Food Directly Into the Fridge?
Are Eggs Still Safe After the Expiration Date?

(yes, yes, yes, but as for me re: the milk-ONLY after intensive sniffing and extremely cautious sipping. Personally, I would rather get slapped in the face than drink sour milk.)

October 8, 2016


onychophagist Noun (plural onychophagists)

(rare) A person who bites his or her fingernails.

 Origin: From Ancient Greek ὀνυχο- (onuch), combining form of ὄνυξ (onux, “claw, nail”) + -φαγος (phagos, “eater”), from ἐφαγόν (ephagon, “I ate”).

I never met a plumber with that problem.

October 6, 2016


Brobdingnagian \brob-ding-NAG-ee-uhn\ , adjective;
1. Of extraordinary size; gigantic; enormous.

This is one of those fifty-cent words used when a simpler word would suffice.

"Everything's Brobdingnagian in Texas." just doesn't have the right ring to it, y'know?

October 5, 2016

What Make of Car Are You?

You Are a Porsche
You make no apologies for who you are. You are ambitious, aggressive, and and a total Type A.

You love to win in life, and you don't need to break the rules to do it. You are never happier than when you're competing.

You are a very fun person, even though you don't have a lot of free time. When you play, you really go for it.

You secretly love attention and love people being envious of you. You are proud of what hard work has netted you in life. 


There's so much wrong with these results, I'm not sure where to begin. In the first place, I'm certainly not a "Type A" person.  I'm also neither ambitious (pretty much the opposite) but I guess I CAN be a little aggressive at times...but not with my driving.

I have LOADS of free time - I have no life.  I also do NOT love attention and if someone is envious of me, then I pity them.

I WOULD love to own a Porsche - a Boxter Spyder, to be exact.

I went back and changed some of my answers several times, and is usually the case there is one of the multiple-choice questions that determines the car you are.  I changed from testing a car on the Autobahn to on a rural road and it said I was a Volkswagon. I didn't read the description for that, but it probably fits me better than this one...although I'd much rather own a Porsche than a VW.

September 29, 2016

Living in 2016

From the  photo email10.gif archives.


1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries...

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic, and you turn around to go and get it .

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list .

September 27, 2016

Tin Man - America

What Wizard of Oz Character Are You?

You Are the Tin Man

You feel like you're not compassionate enough, but you've got more heart than almost anyone else in this world.

You care deeply for others, and you are extremely sensitive. You are easily moved.

You find it easy to put yourself in someone else's shoes. You're very empathetic.

If only you were as easy on yourself as you are on others. You don't give yourself enough credit! 


The Head of Bob

From the website:

The Ultimate Oracle: Over 1625038 Questions Answered

Of the many True Oracles, none are more profound than the Mystical Smoking Head of 'Bob'. Not even the Severed Head of Arnold Palmer can penetrate the veils of bulldada protecting the Norms from the Terrifying Truths and Puzzling Evidence.

Concentrate and ask a Yes or No Question

Oh By The Frop Of His Pipe, Grant Me Vision!

With the recent death of Arnold Palmer, I'm wondering if they'll change that particular gruesome reference.  Probably not, though.

I asked Bob if I will win the lottery:

(click for larger view)

September 24, 2016

Russian Phishing

Мы ищем покупать текст ссылки, и хотим добавить ключевые слова гиперссылки на популярном веб-сайте. Мы заметили, что вы уже запустили хороший сайт: {$link}. Нас очень интересует реклама. Так вам можно рассказать мне, представите ли такие услуги? Если вы можете, пожалуйста, скажите мне, сколько ценах на текст ссылки на вашем сайте за 1 месяц или 3 месяца, и самое главное, текст ссылки не отображаются код < js - >, < no follow >, < Flash - > и < Iframe > в тексте.
Если у вас есть другие веб-сайты, можете ли вы дать мне ваш сайт список. Большое спасибо. 
Если вам удобно, скажите мне, ваш номер телефона или скайп количество и способ осуществления платежей, спасибо. 
Жду вашего ответа. 


Titanic Tapeworm Trivia

The longest tapeworm ever found in the human body was 102 feet long.

September 20, 2016

The Worm Didn't Turn

Cute 404 page on The Food Channel:

I was a little disappointed I wasn't able to find the recipe for Chicken Alfredo Soup right away, but I guess it's like real life; it's better to bite into an apple and find a worm than biting into one and finding half a worm.

How Rural Are You?

You Are Rural

You have a real yin for the quieter things in life, and as long as you're in nature, you never feel like you're missing out.

You are drawn toward a slower pace - one where you can hear yourself think and see tons of stars in the sky.

You have a depth that others seem to lack in these modern times. You connect deeply with people, nature, and ideas.

You don't get why people are always in such a rush. You believe that life needs to be lived mindfully in order to be appreciated. 

How Rural Are You?

I believe that's "yen" instead of "yin".  While "yen" is the currency of Japan, it also means "hunger". 

But yes, I do have a hunger to live in the country.  When I grew up miles from town, I couldn't wait to get out on my own and live in town.  It didn't take long for me to realize I wished I was back in the country.

September 15, 2016

Disqus 404

Got this "page not found" message on a movie site that uses Disqus for comments. It was an animated image behind the message and was cool looking, but i didn't recognize the movie or TV show from which the scene was taken. If I had to guess, what with the primitive/fur clothing and the winter landscape, that it was something from Game of Thrones (which I don't watch).

I was disappointed the link didn't work, but I didn't feel like crying like the guy in the graphic seems about to do.  Then again, if it IS GoT, then the poor slob is probably about to get executed. 

Anybody have a guess?

(click image for larger view) or you can view the page here.

Note:  After publishing this post, I do as I always do and checked the link to make sure it worked. (this blog doesn't have a 404 page, not that I know of)  I got a Batman animation with the same message, so it must rotate among different scenes.

I was trying to look up the profile of a guy who had been whining that his last post had been deleted by the moderator.  That post, as well as his account, seems to have been terminated...just like the guy in the scene, I bet.  Yep, winter is coming.

September 14, 2016

Difficult to Prove

Man, these "prove you're a human" things are getting harder and harder.   I had to go find my glucose meter for this one.

September 10, 2016

Cukes Cause Pukes

A little too close together in my Facebook news feed:

September 5, 2016

Instant Rimshot

From the site: If you need quick access to an ironically-placed rimshot sound to mock your friends, or a genuinely-placed rimshot to put your great joke over the top, you've come to the right place