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February 24, 2011

Chapped Lips

I visited one of my favorite websites earlier today, Start Sampling. I always enjoy perusing the recipes and save the best ones. There are also helpful hints every day and one caught my eye: Chapped Lips.

Now, that's an affliction I seldom suffer from, but it reminded me of being a teenager and having chapped lips. (maybe from kissing my girlfriend a little too vigorously and for an extended period of time the night before). I was applying some cherry flavored ChapstickTM and my dad noticed.

"Whattya doin'?" he growled. "Puttin' on yer lipstick?"

With a typical teenage look of disdain at him, I told him I had chapped lips and they hurt.

"No sense in wasting good money on that." he told me. "Sumpthin' else works much better." "What's that?" I asked him.

"Chicken 'manure'." he said. (to be honest, he didn't say "manure".)

"Ewwww." I said in reply, shaking my head in disbelief.

"Will keep ya from lickin' your lips." he said with a deadpan, straight face.

No Thanks



You Should Get a Tattoo on Your Arm




You are a spiritual and together person. You are wise to the ways of the world.

Personal expression is very important to you. You think we should all celebrate our individuality.

You don't mind showing off that you're different, even if others have trouble accepting you.

You would be proud of each and every tattoo on your body. If someone doesn't like your tattoos, then they don't like you.

February 20, 2011

lucubration

lucubration / loo-kyoo-brey-shuhn/
–noun
1. laborious work, study, thought, etc., especially at night.
2. the result of such activity, as a learned speech or dissertation.
3. often, lucubrations. any literary effort, especially of a pretentious or solemn nature.


I often stay up late, trying to work, study and think, but it's seldom laborious. None of the results are learned or solemn, but sometimes they're pretentious.

Kids Ask the Funniest Questions

I've got a Facebook friend - Kevin - who is the son of an old classmate; I always enjoy his posts, especially the ones about his nephews and nieces and his interaction with them.

I was listening to a classic rock station while recently checking my FB friend's posts and laughed out loud at another one of Kevin's tales about one of his nephews when the old late 70's tune came on: "Do You Wanna Make Love" by Peter McCann. (song w/ lyrics)

Thinking about this song and my own nephews when they were the age of Kevin's reminded me of something I had forgotten until the song stirred my memory. I can't remember where we were, or what we were doing, but my youngest nephew Brad - who has nearly grown children of his own now - tugged on my shirt sleeve and said he wanted to ask me a question. "Sure!" I told him, and knelt down to get on his level. It was clearly important to him that he get my opinion, so I gave him my full attention. "Uncle Mike," he started, his sweet little face looked at me with earnest "Would you wanna make love or wouldja just rather fool around?"

I was taken aback, at first thinking he was making a joke, but he was far too young to even know what that meant. It then dawned on me that he had heard the song on the radio, maybe even overheard his momma singing along. I replied the best way I knew how:

"Dunno, Brad. Guess that would depend on who I was with."

That satisfied him,thank goodness.

Here's a scan of a photo I took of him at around the same time.


February 18, 2011

I Wanna Kill My Wife Tonight - Mojo Nixon

So politically incorrect but totally rockin'!!!

February 14, 2011

Of Course It Is

Hopeless, incurable, eternally



Your Valentine's Day Personality is Romantic




You love Valentine's Day. You see it as a magical time when anything is possible.

You like to pull out all the stops stops. You want this day to be over the top romantic.

On Valentine's Day, you're all about splurging and getting spoiled. You have very high expectations.

Sure it may be a bit cheesy, but who cares? You think a holiday all about love is a dream.

A Valentine Poem

I'm sending you this Valentine

Because you're such a lovely lass
And when I turn it upside down

It reminds me of your ass.

I Remember One That Said

"Bite me".



Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"




A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.

Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out

Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking

What turns you off: fighting and conflict

Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love


buss

buss \buss\, noun, verb;
1. A kiss; a playful kiss; a smack.
transitive verb:
1. To kiss; especially to kiss with a smack.


Appropriate word for Valentine's Day.

Well, for anyone who has someone to kiss, that is. I think I've kissed goodbye my chances of getting a buss today. I'd probably get a smack if I tried to buss someone.

February 8, 2011

Some Pretty Slick Spam

I guess I got on the KY mailing list.

(click to enlarge screenshot)


No need for any of this for me on Valentine's Day. (or any other day, come to think of it)

Wow, Man

I figured I would be all three.




You Are Drugs






Whether you actually do drugs or not doesn't matter... you're one trippy hippie!

You're always seeing things from an alternative point of view. The colors are little brighter and bolder for you.

You don't live your life with any rules. You embrace freedom and challenge authority.

You want to expand your mind and your horizons. You don't mind experimenting a little to find your bliss.

February 4, 2011

effluvium

effluvium\ ih-FLOO-vee-uhm \,noun;
1.A slight or invisible exhalation or vapor, esp. one that is disagreeable


So, when the Beej is snuggled up to me, it's "feline effluvium"?

I always called it a cat fart.

"A rose by any other name...."  Well, maybe not a rose.