Top of Texas Gazette

June 28, 2008

Let's pretend: Instead of a Toyota pickup, imagine it's a '67 Fairlane. Imagine it's a long time ago, young and carefree and quite a bit careless with more horsepower than good sense.

Here's the 8 mile + route I rode or drove to school for 12 years.
(bottom right corner to top left from home/first pavement to Miami)

After I got my own car, the trip would look like the following video, but instead of 55 miles per hour at the most, it would be...well, more than that. A lot more, if the car could go that fast and the coast was clear and weather permitting. I took almost the exact same corners back then because...I had to. Thank the good Lord for not letting me kill someone and also for keeping my own young/dumb butt safe.

I never cut the blind corners though, even though the vid looks like it on some. I could see if anything was coming.

Earn entries in our upcoming "Free Gas for a Month" contest by naming the songs played and picked through during this ride. (you'll also have to imagine them being on an eight-track tape player if you wanna get authentic with the time)

Excuse the shoddy camera work; this was my second attempt at this. Excuse the singing at the end, sheesh. I also meant to drive into the school parking lot, but there was a little boy and his bike right at the entrance.

He waved, and I wish I had turned the camera on him and ended the movie right there.

Do not attempt this at home.

Beej for Prez

June 27, 2008

Dive Right In!

And caption this weird clipart:

The Short Bus

This is a small bus that belongs to a nearby church.

Let's go back in time, ten years ago: I hadn't been online for long; I didn't even have a computer but would use the ones at the library. I was in a chatroom and got into an argument with someone (I don't remember who and don't even remember what we were arguing about) and I had "bested" him with some facts, which he promptly denounced, and then called me retarded.

Now, that's something I don't like to be called. It's as an offensive term to me as the "n-word" would be to black folks. I don't think I'M retarded, but I know several "mentally challenged" people, and while they might not be as intelligent as are most people, they're more fun to be around.

I went to school with a guy named Gary; actually, I believe both of my older sisters had Gary in the same grade I did. I don't know for sure, but I think Gary stayed in the same grade for about ten years. That's the way things were done back then, especially in our independent school district. We didn't take any federal money and weren't bound by most federal rules and guidelines.

I don't know why Gary quit going to school; perhaps it was because the school did start to take federal aid and couldn't provide the "appropriate" education for him.

Gary was a lot of fun; older than the rest of us, he was also stronger and never tired of giving us piggyback rides and could push us nearly to the sky in the playground swings. Gary would sometimes "read" along with us in class, but usually spent his time coloring.

Gary was, like nearly all the other "retarded" people I know who are socially functional, a sweet "boy"...and still is, because I ran into him a few weeks back at the grocery store. He remembered me AND my name (and it'd been 25 years since I'd seen him. I know many people who can't recall a name a day later. Hmmm, who's the retarded one?) Gary nearly broke my ribs hugging on me and invited me to come visit him at the group home where he resides.

Back to the chatroom argument:

The guy went on: "Bet u rode the short bus."

I had a feeling I was being insulted, but I sure didn't know the slur. I replied:

"Well, yeah, I did ride short busses back and forth to school."

Nothing from my antagonist for a few seconds, then:

"I KNEW IT!"

I ignored him and went on:

"Actually, I remember only one short bus, and it was short because it was a van. My first "bus" to school was an old "woody" station wagon, driven by a classmate's mother. Another classmate's mom drove the school route for a few years; at first we drove their family car, then they bought a nearly-new station wagon."

I'm sure the school district didn't pay much, but it was probably enough to make a car payment and pay for gas, probably plus a bit more.

It was after I had left the chat when I looked up "short bus" and found it was a slur against someone, the same as "retarded". Since my school was tiny and didn't have any special-needs kids other than Gary, I never had found out that in larger schools a "short bus" was used to take those kids back and forth to school.

I still laugh at that guy thinking he was really insulting me, making me furious, only to have me be honest and admit I HAD rode the "short bus" to school

(even our single "big bus" wasn't all that large; didn't need to be, what with us playing eight-man football. The girls and boys both rode the bus to basketball games, even having quite a few empty seats.)

Not that my story was so interesting, sorry to make you read through all of it, but I really like this bus. I bet it gets fairly good gas mileage, and a guy could fix it up and live in it. Have to put a bed, some cabinet space and kitchen, and esp. a shower and a bathroom.

Then I could dump my sewage tank on the front lawns of all those people who like to call others "retarded".

"Funny" thing; when looking for the definition of "short bus" I found this statement, so true.

"Arguing on the Internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. You might win, but you're still retarded."

That guy might've been right, I might very well be "retarded".

Takes one to know one, huh?

Several years ago I had a woman tell me I was "emotionally immature" and "sexually frustrated".

Could've been the other way 'round, just can't remember.