Elf or Reindeer?

You Are An Elf

You are highly creative and artistic. You are good at working hard. While you love to work, you also love to play. You have a naughty side to you! You love pulling pranks and teasing people. You always seem to be getting into some sort of trouble. People can rely on you to be industrious and responsible... but you're going to have fun while you're getting stuff done.

Are You An Elf or a Reindeer?

Stranglehold - Ted Nugent

Happy Birthday (born 1948) to the Motor City Madman!

Pi / Pie

Talking While Intoxicated

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now as I have to work in the morning.

Encounter With Santa

I went to get some water yesterday evening, but the Culligan store had suffered some vandalism and the vending machine was boarded up. I drove out to the water kiosk in the mall parking lot to use that one, then after I was done, decided I'd get some gasoline at the station at the entrance to Walmart.

While I was pumping my gas, a van drove up next to me and Santa Claus got out! I told him "Hey, man! Why haven't you been to see me lately? It's been over 40 yrs.!"

He looked up from putting the gas nozzle in his tank and wryly said:

"Well, you must've been a BAD boy."

Hard to argue with that!