How to Save the Airlines

From the email archives:

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Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell, they don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a 'party atmosphere' going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and 'special services.'

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

End Of The Line - Traveling Wilburys

Christmas Dinner

It's a Gas!

Following a link to Oddee, I found a list of people with "unbelievable talents". (if you're easily offended DO NOT click on either link, particularly the last one)

One "talent" I found amazing -although not "unbelievable"- was that of

Mr. Methane


It seems that Elmer Fudd endorses the site.

Here's a YouTube vid of him accompanying on "The Blue Danube".

Clipart x 787

Inner Peace

From the email archives:

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Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So I looked around my house to see things I started and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of White Zinfandel, a bottle of Baileys, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreos, the remainder of both Prozac and Valium prescriptions, the rest of the cheesecake, some Doritos and a box of chocolates.

You have no idea how great I feel.

Please pass this on to those you feel are in need of inner peace.