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March 3, 2010

Teenager Audio Test

The Teenager Audio Test - Can you hear this sound?

Created by Oatmeal




Yeah, I might have failed this hearing test, but I darn sure can hear their window rattling music when they drive down this street.

... as I'm sure older people could hear mine when I was that age, plus the wore out glass-pack dual exhausts I had on my hot rod, too. I'd like to think I was a little bit more thoughtful in residential areas than these kids are today, but that's really my only gripe about them. I was young and dumb once, too. I'll certainly admit their stereos are much better than mine was, and so are (most of )their vehicles.

The music I listened to was much, much better, though.

Life Expectancy Calculators

via World Of Mysteries

  1. Living to 100: Take this quiz, and then find out how you can lengthen your life expectancy by following the recommendations and tips offered by the calculator.
  2. The Longevity Game: This fun quiz from Northwestern Mutual takes you through your lifestyle choices, and the image representing you waxes and wanes with your life expectancy.
  3. Original Death Calculator: Find out when you are likely to die. Answering these questions about your history, genetics, lifestyle and habits can help you figure out when you are likely to kick the bucket.
  4. The Death Clock: Answer very simple questions, and The Death Clock will return an exact date and time of your death. As for how accurate it is — who knows? Especially since it is based on your birth date, gender, BMI and whether or not you smoke. But it sure is fun.
  5. Real Age: This life expectancy quiz asks you questions about how well you are maintaining your body. Your biological age may actually be younger than the age you are now. Of course, if you haven’t been taking care of yourself, your biological age could be higher — and your life expectancy shorter.
  6. Death by Caffeine: Figure out how much caffeine it would take to kill you, based on your favorite caffeinated beverages or foods. Your life expectancy may not be longer than you can guzzle 56.31 cans of Monster Energy drink in one sitting.
  7. The Booze Death Calculator: Figure out your life expectancy if you are out partying hard and binge drinking. Pick your alcoholic beverage of choice, and see how much of it would kill you.
  8. NPC Life Expectancy Quiz: Read through this to determine how long you would survive in a video game. A fun look at life expectancy.
  9. How Long Will I Live?: Answer questions about your current lifestyle, and then get a look at how long you are likely to live. Progress further in the test to get an analysis of your health risks and how you can improve you situation and your life expectancy.
  10. Life expectancy calculator: MSN money offers you a calculator that takes into account your current lifestyle, as well as different stressors that might be part of your life, and looks at your family history and other factors.
  11. Find Your Fate: This is another calculator that asks you more specific questions and attempts to pinpoint the possible date of your death. Interestingly, whether or not you brush or floss your teeth is on this quiz.
  12. The Amazing Death Predictor: This is a tongue in cheek prediction that asks simple questions (some of which may not have to do with whether you are living a healthy lifestyle) and then generates a random death for you. Such as dying when you experience a mid-air collision when your personal jet pack malfunctions.
  13. Will You See Your 80th Birthday?: Check to see whether or not the chances are good for you to live to the age of 80.
  14. Death Date: Get a death date, and poke around for other interesting tidbits, such as what you will do in the afterlife, what you will come back as, should you reincarnate.
  15. Life Expectancy Quiz: Pacific Life tests your knowledge of life expectancy facts, and helps you figure out whether you really are adequately providing your future.
  16. Date of Death Calculator: This is a fun Facebook app that lets you figure out when you will die. You can compare with your friends and post to your profile.
  17. Life Expectancy Calculator: You can learn your virtual age as well as your life expectancy. Learn about how you compare to others of your physical age, and whether you are actually younger or older than your current physical age suggests. The sliding scale allows you to more accurately assess your situation when answering questions.
  18. Life Expectancy Calculator: What to figure your life expectancy yourself? This formula from the Minnesota State Retirement System can help you out.
  19. Life Expectancy Calculator from MetLife: This calculator will help you determine your life expectancy — and help you figure out how you can outlive your money.
  20. Life Expectancy Quiz: Answer these questions about your lifestyle, and find out whether or not you are as healthy as you think you are.
  21. Death Risk Rankings: Compare life expectancy and death risk in different countries, and by other factors, such as gender. It’s an interesting death quiz that helps you compare your life expectancy to others’.
  22. Life Expectancy Calculator/Life Expectancy Test: This quiz asks you questions about your personal life, financial life and lifestyle habits in an effort to help you figure out what your life expectancy is likely to be.
  23. What is your biological age?: Find out whether you are aging more quickly than you should be. See what certain habits and lifestyle choices are doing for your biological age.
  24. Increased Life Expectancy Calculator: Add years to your life by adjusting your fitness routine. This calculator helps you see how much you could gain by making changes with your exercise.
  25. Life Expectancy Calculator: Your age, race, education and income can all affect your life expectancy. Here is a calculator that shows you how.

eructation

eructation \ih-ruhk-TAY-shuhn\, noun;
1. The act of belching; a belch.



Oh yeah, calling the act of belching "eructation" makes it so much more classy.


Edit to add something that triggered an old memory and probably should be left unmentioned, but what the heck, huh?

I used to roughneck on a drilling rig with a guy - he was on the daylight shift, the crew that relieved mine; I worked morning tour and would try my best to either be dressed before he got there or would wait until he had dressed and was gone from the doghouse.

He was an obnoxious jerk, and I tried to avoid him as best as I could, but that wasn't the reason I didn't want to be around him; no, it was because he had a horrible habit of belching with such velocity that it was like a punch in the face even standing at the other end of the doghouse. I cannot describe his "eructation" with the horrible accuracy it deserves, but his burps smelled like a flatulent skunk which had eaten rotten eggs and lived in a septic tank.

The guy drank beer all the time, even sneaking a few out on the rig when he could get by with it. He often bragged about knocking back a case of beer after work and I had personally seen him peel an onion and eat it like an apple. He was also partial to some sort of odorous, soft, runny cheese; I don't remember the name of the cheese, but it smelled like stinky feet. It was no wonder his burps smelled so bad, especially after beer, raw onions and cheese aged in a dirty sock had been fermenting in his stomach all night. Bless his poor wife.

His burps were far worse than any, ANY fart I've ever had the misfortune to smell.

A few years later I was out of a job because of one of the several oil field recessions I went though in my roughnecking career. I was offered work by a man I really liked and respected, but when I found out the "burper" was on the crew, I had to decline. I could only imagine how bad it would be to ride back and forth to and from work with him.

March 1, 2010

My Gas Bill Makes Me Hot




You Should Stay Warm by Bundling Up



You are a rational and logical person. You are good at solving problems.

So if you're cold, it makes sense to just put another layer on. You are very practical that way.

You are rarely unprepared in life. You would never forget your gloves and hat on a cold day.

You're ready for anything that comes your way. By being responsible, you find it easy to relax and enjoy life.