Or, How I Nearly Got My Soda Ash Kicked.
Back when I was roughnecking, it was common for the guys who worked on the rig to take home some soda ash (aka
Sodium carbonate) to use when washing our "greasers" - our work clothes. It did for the washing machine water the same as the reason we mixed it in the drilling fluid, it softened the water, allowing the chemicals to better mix in the fluid and making the soap work better in the washer.
The laundromats charged .25 cents per cup and it was "free" on the rig. (I suppose it could be called stealing, but more was spilled or wasted from broken sacks than what we took home. I justified it as since we were also taking home "their" grease, pipe dope, oil and mud from the rig on our clothes, they could contribute to getting them clean) Even if you had a washer and drier at home, you still took your nasty work clothes to a laundry; otherwise, you would ruin your machines. Laundromats had designated machines specifically for these filthy clothes with big signs over them "Greasers Only!". (and I've learned to never, ever use any machine adjacent to those for regular clothes - some people don't care and will wash their work clothes in the closer machines if they can get by with it.)
I had used my wife's car (now ex-wife) for a couple of days when my boss's car was in the shop and had put what was left of a bag of soda ash in the trunk, probably about 10-15 lbs. of the stuff remaining in the bag, and had forgotten to take it out. I was working 6 days on, 2 off, at the time and we were going to make a quick trip to Denton on my short "weekend" to visit my in-laws. As I was loading our suitcase into the trunk, I saw the bag and grabbed a-hold of it and it broke, spilling nearly all that was left in the sack. I didn't have time to clean it up, so I went ahead and threw the case into the trunk and away we went.
After a six hour drive, we got there. We visited with my wife's family for a few hours and I was ready to get out of the house for a while, so with the excuse I was going to clean out the car, I drove to a nearby car wash. I washed the outside, then pulled up to the vacuums, sucked up the dirt inside the car then remembered the spill in the trunk. I decided I probably should try to get the bulk of the soda ash out before I used multiple quarters so I picked up the mat to take it to the trash by the vacuum machines.
As I was gingerly walking it over, though, I dropped one corner and the wind picked up a good bit of the chemical and it just so happened I was upwind of a big black guy vacuuming his nice, new
Pontiac Firebird (Like the Smokey and the Bandit car). In horror, I saw the white powder settle all over his recently washed car, but even worse, some got in his eyes.
Did I mention he was huge? He was also wearing a green football jersey,the color of the local
University of North Texas Eagles, the Mean Green.
(the alma mater of
“Mean Joe” Greene. The two guys looked alike, and I don't mean that as a white "they all look alike" thing. They certainly resembled each other from the neck down, at least in size. To be honest, I was more than a little afraid to look the guy in the eye, not that I could anyway, since he was rubbing it with a fist the size of a dinner plate)
If he didn't play for the school, he was so big he should have. In fact, I could have passed as a mascot, I was certainly green around my gills, although I was anything but an eagle at the time, more of a frightened chicken.
The guy was not only one of the largest men I've ever seen, he was one of the angriest. "Hey man!" he yelled at me, rubbing his eyes. "What was that ****?!?!" I might have been scared nearly to wetting myself, but maybe the adrenaline coursing through my veins sharpened my mind, gave me some quick thinking.
"Aw man, I'm sorry." I replied. "I'm SO sorry, here let me give you some money to wash your car again." I said while reaching for my wallet. "Just don't call the cops on me." He looked at me in a strange way as I started dumping the rest of the soda ash into the trash.
"Nah, thass OK." he said. He waved off my offer of money and with great relief I waved goodbye at him while I got in my car and drove away. I glanced at the rear view mirror and watched him digging the rest of the soda ash out of the trash. I stomped on the gas and hurried on back to the in-law's house and stayed there until it was time to head home. My ex wanted to get a soft drink before we left, but I insisted we instead stop at the next town. I did NOT want to run into that guy again.
