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May 26, 2016

Happy Butt

A teacher asks the new student her name. The girl replies, "Happy Butt."

The teacher says, "I don't think that's your name. You need to go to the principal's office and get this straightened out."

The girl goes to the principal's office and he asks, "What's your name?" The little girl says, "Happy Butt."

The principal calls the girl's mother to get the truth. After getting off the phone, he says, "Honey, your name is Gladys, not Happy Butt."

The girl exclaims, "Glad Ass -- Happy Butt -- what's the difference?"

spinning girl

May 23, 2016

What's Sexy About Your Name?

You Are Passionate Sexy

You are sexy because you are torrid. You are a fiery lover.

You have an extremely high sex drive. And you don't do much to control it.

You crave variety and excitement. If someone interests you, you'll pursue them... full force.


Your passion is all consuming. There's nothing that can quell your sexual energy.

Sexual freedom is very important to you. You don't like following rules.


You feel that anything between consenting adults should be fair game.

 



Sometimes these quizzes are spot-on and others...well, not so much. I'm not sure about this one.  I'd say some of it is true - and I'll leave you to speculate on just what that is - and some of it would be nothing more than wishful thinking if I said it about myself.

There's one thing, however, that I disagree with and that's the "There's nothing that can quell your sexual energy.".  Oh, I can think of several things, but a "a bucket of cold water" is my first thought. 

How about "You don't like following rules."? Well, there's some rules, the laws of physics...such as standing up in a hammock, y'know what I mean?

Plus, "You are a fiery lover."  What's that mean?  Smoking during AND after?

RHPS Redux

There are some things that should just be left alone.

May 22, 2016

19 Items



The article on MSN caught my eye:  "19 items no man over 40 should wear".  I'd link to it, but for some reason - probably since I stay signed into Bing all the time - it looks like it has my own account particulars in the URL.  I'm sure you can find it if you're that interested, along with hundreds of other, similar articles that are as equally worthless.

Oops, gave away my opinion of the article far too soon.  Here are the 19 things and my own comments under each:

The Parka:  This one is just plain silly.  I'd say the only reason to not wear a parka is if it's in the summer...unless you're in Antarctica, then I'm sure it would be acceptable.

Wide-leg trouser:  I don't get this one.  I don't think I have any trousers that would fit this description, but just exactly how wide is considered "wide"? What if you have wide legs?

The Fanny pack: I can understand this in a way because they look a little silly on just about anyone, no matter their age.  OTOH, there have been times when I wished I had a fanny pack. If I see a 50-yr. old man wearing one, I'm not going to point and laugh.  Maybe he needs one to pack along all his medications he has to take...or maybe it's to keep plenty of condoms on hand because he needs a lot of 'em.  Plus his Viagra.

The Gilet:  I have several of these and love 'em.  They're perfect, along with a sweat top or long-sleeve shirt on cool days that suddenly get colder.  At least your core body temp. can be maintained.  I think they look cool, plus have pockets which are handy when you don't have any in the top you're wearing under it.

The Soccer jersey:  I suppose the equivalent that I could relate to would be a football jersey and while they're probably not the ideal thing to wear to a nice restaurant, there's nothing wrong with wearing them to a party or esp. to a football game.  I would draw the line at having my own name on the back of the jersey or even a player's name, even if he was one of my favorites.

The Bomber jacket:  This is a silly prohibition;  bomber jackets look cool.  Chuck Yeager is over 90 and he still looks great in one.  Then again, he's actually flown bombers, so...I don't have one, but if I did, I'd wear it all the time and only take it off to slap someone who told me I was too old to be wearing it.

The Beanie:  No, not the idiotic ones w/ a propeller on top, but a close fitting sock cap.  I have several and it sometimes gets so cold here that I wear one and put another, larger sock cap on top of it.  I'd rather be ridiculed for being too old to wear one than have my old ears freeze off.

Thongs:  Finally, something I can agree with, but only for me.  I hate those things...the footware, not the skimpy undies young women wear.  Old women probably shouldn't wear those, but more power to 'em if they wanna. Personally, I don't like thongs on anyone's feet, but if they can handle that strap between their big toe and the next, then good for them. 

Speedos:  Again, something I can agree with and I personally don't think they look good on men of ANY age, but that's just me.  Maybe if I was gay.....

Leather trousers:  And again, I agree, but it's more of a comfort thing for me and also because I'm a clutz and slob and often spill things on my clothes. 

Oversized suits:  Well, they're out of style, aren't they?  I dunno.  Don't care, either.

The rock band t-shirt:  Well, I still like rock and roll, but I don't have any band t-shirts.  I'd wear one if someone gave it to me as a present, but I'm not paying 25 bucks to advertise a band that has more money than Carter has liver pills.  (I guess that last bit really tells my age, huh?)

Y-fronts:  I had to go look up the definition.  I think 95% of my underwear fits that style, even the longer leg boxer/briefs I sometimes wear.  I like the support.  I don't own any "tighty-whiteys" as they're sometimes called;  mine are all in various colors, even camouflage.  I have a few boxer undies, but unless my pants are really loose fitting, they bunch up and are uncomfortable.  Why would anyone care what kind of undies I'm wearing, anyway?

Hoodies:  Screw 'em, I like hoodies.  They're nice to wear on a cool day and the ability to put the hood up or down makes it nice, esp. when the cold wind starts blowing down your neck.

Baseball cap: I wear one all the time...well, not to bed, but you'd BETTER wear something on your head here in the Texas Panhandle.  During the winter, they keep your head warmer than nothing at all and in summer, they keep the sun from frying your brain.  I wear 'em in the house sometimes;  that way if someone comes to the door and I want to let them in, I tell them I just got home and if I DON'T want to let them in, I tell 'em I'm just going out.  (learned that from an Andy Capp comic strip, BTW)

Skinny jeans:  If you're skinny, then wouldn't your jeans be skinny too?  I hate tight jeans, so I don't wear 'em.

White trainers:  White TENNIS shoes, as I call 'em.  I have a pair, but when they started getting stained, I started using them for yard work or the like.  I'll buy another pair someday and for now, keep on wearing my brown and black pairs.  I'd like to have more colors, too.

The leisure suit:  From the example shown, I wouldn't be caught dead in one, not now or when I was 20 yrs. old.  I DO wear sweats a lot and screw anyone who thinks I'm too old to wear them....I'm too old to care what they think.

The novelty tie:  Ehh....not much on ties, but if someone wanted to wear a funny one to work as a nod to Casual Fridays in the office, then fine by me. I wouldn't wear one with kittens or copulating couples, but wearing a red tie with Christmas trees during the holiday season or a green one with shamrocks for St. Patty's?  Lighten up, sheesh.

May 21, 2016

Maybellene - Chuck Berry

On this day in history: A part-time construction worker visits the studios of Chess Records and cuts his first record, a souped-up version of a traditional fiddle tune given new lyrics, a new title, and an unforgettable guitar riff. A smash crossover hit, ‘Maybellene’ will make Chuck Berry an overnight sensation and lead Rolling Stone magazine to later write, “Rock & Roll guitar starts here.”