Free Travel Guides

From the website:

Step 1: Browse over 100 of our top destinations

Step 2: Pick the travel guides you'd like

Step 3: Receive guides free by mail or download

Step 4: No obligation, no strings attached. Go vacation!

One of the best things in life is the promise of something free. The actual best thing in life is when those promised things turn out to actually be free. Our Free Travel Guides of the United States and Canada are just that: Free. 100% no strings attached. There are two ways to get free brochures or travel information. You can click on the map and find a region of the US that appeals to you, or click on one of the 30 plus states linked on the right sidebar. You'll be able to add free travel brochures or free travel guides to your shopping cart from any page.

When planning a trip and wanting the most current up to date travel information, please consider www.TravelGuidesFree.com

Free Travel Guides

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It's just me, I'm sure, but I wonder why the site's name is "Free Travel Guides" and the website URL is www.travelguidesfree.com?

They might be dyslexic and instead of sending you a North Dakota brochure, you get one from South Dakota.

Redneck Solution

From the email archives:

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The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF)



These Southern boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, mamma or Jesus.

5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday

My name is Oksana

another love letter from the spam folder:

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And you have very much liked me. And I have decided to write to you that will meet you to get friendly communications. I search to myself for the friend with whom it is possible to spend time and can and to create in the future serious attitudes.

If you want to learn about me more and better that write to me on mine email: oksanaalone555@gmail.com

I shall be glad to answer you. I also shall be glad to learn about you more and to receive your photo. I shall respond also to you and I shall send a photo. I very much hope that you will answer my letter. Write with personal email.

Your new friend Oksana.

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Dear Oksana,

It's not even the future and I already have some serious attitudes about you.

Let's cut to the chase, all right? Attached is a document with my SS#, my bank routing number and my home phone and address. That'll save you the trouble of wheedling all that out of me with vague promises of sex and adamant vows of your love for me.

Your pal,
Mike

P.S. When you send those photos, make 'em of you naked, ok?

Smart or Stoopid?

Are you smart or stoopid?

Take the test at the aptly titled site smartorstoopid

From the website:

The Smart or Stoopid test is purely meant to be a fun quiz to see how your IQ rates alongside the average, based on the scores of other people who have taken the test. Naturally, only stupid people would take it as a true indicator of intelligence, and only intelligent people would take it as a true indicator of stupidity. Or something like that.

The quiz is on a timer and each multiple choice question comes fast, so be alert! I think I missed a couple (took this test a couple days ago and have slept since then) I saved my score w/ a screen shot, though.

Look at Mike's Big Brain, wouldja?

Past President's Puns

Pepper Pop Plasters Poor Portales

From last week's Portales NM pntonline:

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Dr Pepper truck spills load

Diet or regular — Portales clean-up crews had plenty of choices Tuesday after a Dr Pepper truck dumped its load at Avenue A and First Street.

Police said a flatbed Dr Pepper truck was west bound on First Street when its load shifted while attempting a lane change.

The intersection was down to one lane in all directions, while clean up crews hosed off the sticky mess. The clean up took about 45 minutes.

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45 minutes to clean up the entire mess?

I heard the clean up crews had to go back at 10, 2 and 4 to finish it all off.