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July 25, 2009

Goodbye Gidget

Famous Taco Bell Chihuahua Dead at 15



The famous Taco Bell Spokesdog – who charmed audiences with the catchphrase “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” – has died.

Gidget, the 15-year-old Chihuaha, suffered a fatal stroke Tuesday night, according to a report from People magazine.

The “mostly-retired” canine also appeared in the film “Legally Blonde 2,” starring as Bruiser’s mom. In addition, she appeared in a commercial for the ‘90s edition of Trivial Pursuit.

When she wasn’t starring in films and commercials, Gidget enjoyed taking hikes, sunning her fur and sleeping for 23 hours, her trainer Sue Chipperton told People.

“She made so many people happy,” Chipperton said. “Gidget always knew where the camera was.”


"Gidget enjoyed taking hikes, sunning her fur and sleeping for 23 hours..."

Wow, me and the dog had something in common.

I ate at Taco Bell yesterday and the meat in my taco tasted funny.

Just sayin', that's all.

I AM a little bit more upset at this news than I was over Michael Jackson.

July 24, 2009

A Clip, But No Money

A couple of days ago I won a bottle opener (No Cap on My Luck!)from Marlboro and today I received an email telling me I've won a cowhide money clip.

Too bad I don't have any money to put in it. I'd rather have won the cow.

Well, I'd rather have the cow AND money, because together they'd be....

... a cash cow.

Fit For a King

Something else on my Christmas Wish List.


Dagobert Wooden Toilet Throne - Solid Ash Wood

Don't forget the matching scrub brush.

Patience is a Virtue

If that's true, then I'm a fidgeting streetwalker.

The results were surprising to me; I've always thought I had absolutely no patience at all.




You Are Patient Enough



In most cases, you are patient enough to keep it together.

You may feel impatient on the inside, but you don't usually let it show.

However, if you're made to wait for too long, you will usually crack.

You're only human, after all. You don't like for your patience to be tested.



Time Won't Let Me - The Outsiders

July 23, 2009

Ma Belle Amie - The Tee Set



Ma belle amie, apres tout les beau jours, je te dit merci merci!

( My good friend, after all the beautiful days, I tell you thank you thank you! )

Cleanliness is Next to Godliness

Or so the old adage says.

It was several years ago and I was working in a liquor store while going back to school. It was an interesting job and while I didn't make much money at it, it had its perks, such as meeting all sorts of women and getting invited to parties. (sometimes the invites were issued because they thought I'd bring all the booze)

I had met a nice young lady several weeks prior and was invited by her to come to a party at her house after I got off work. To be honest, I was attracted to her, but also to one of her friends who had come into the store with her, and both women seemed to be interested in me. (I hadn't any kinky stuff in mind, but was flattered by the attention. It's rare for even ONE woman to be interested in me, and two was doubly so)

Before closing the store for the night, I purchased a 1.75L of vodka; nearly everyone who drinks likes vodka and it's a good, neutral mixer. Besides that, it was cheap.

I got to the party and everyone was glad to see me, at least they were glad to see the booze because they were nearly out. The hostess had put her kids to bed, but her friend was having some problems getting her baby to sleep. I was introduced to the folks I didn't know and also to the friend's brother sitting at the kitchen table, a rather surly looking young man with long, long hair and a full beard.

I asked the young woman if it was OK to make me a drink and was told "Sure, make me one too!" A couple of other people attending the party wanted me to make them a drink, too, so I did so after washing my hands in the kitchen sink. The surly guy was sitting there at the dining table with an empty glass, so I politely asked him if he wanted me to make him a drink, too.

He didn't even speak, instead shaking his head. "You sure?" I asked again. "I'm making mine and these others." "Nope." he replied. "I'll get my sister to make mine."

"My hands are clean." I joked with him. He again declined, telling me "Nuthin' against you, dude, just want my sister to make it for me." He then rudely yelled at her in the next room "Hey, come make me a drink."

She walked into the room, cradling her crying child. "Gee thanks, ya jerk, you woke up your niece." Nonplussed, he said "Make me a drink, 'k?"

"Let Mike make it; he's already making the others and I heard him ask you!" she exclaimed.

"Rather YOU make it." he replied to her back as she turned and left the kitchen.

"Man, I washed my hands." I told him again.

"I'm just paranoid." he answered. "I don't know you."

Sheesh, what did the guy think I was going to do, put something in his drink? I wasn't wanting to get into HIS pants, after all.

"That why you got a beard?" I asked him. " Afraid to shave, 'fraid that SOB in the mirror will cut your throat?" I joked, but he didn't find it funny. I didn't care, because I was insulted by his attitude. Once again, he yelled to his sister to come fix his drink.

After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence, his sister popped into the room, and with an obvious annoyed posture, grabbed his glass, went over to the fridge, grabbed some ice with her bare hands and put it into the glass, poured some vodka and orange juice into it, then stirred the mixture with her finger. With an exaggerated gesture, she plopped the glass down in front of her brother.

Without even thanking her, he picked up his glass and took a long swig. "Ahhh, that's what I was needing." he declared.

"Good." his sister said sarcastically.

She continued: "Just to let you know, I just changed your niece's diaper."