Gay Irish Dwarfs

(Or how I learned to quit worrying and not trust online translators)

I've had the Gay Irish Dwarfs Blogger site bookmarked for quite some time, but rarely visited it after discovering it via the "Next Blog" button at the top of the page. It caught my eye because of the "odd" title -which I find amusing- and I wonder if he ever has heard of this MSN Group? His title is a LOT less ambiguous, I'll give 'im that.

Most of the post titles are in English, but I wasn't for sure what language the rest was in and hadn't had the time nor inclination to find out. Speeding through my favorite blogs this morning, I clicked on the blog and a new post caught my eye: Lazy Days

Boston Marathon var passe koselig. Mye folk som gauket i gatene. Mer interessant er det alltid å ta turen innom en bokhandel. Følgende bøker ble med hjem: To Kill a Mockingbird av Harper Lee, Cat's Cradle av Kurt Vonnegut, The Dangerous Summer og The Sun Also Rises av Hemingway. Leste akkurat siste sidene av The Moor's Last Sigh av Rushdie. Bra bok, spesielt liker jeg dragningen mot Andalusia, noe jeg selv føler på kroppen.

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It's easy enough to see that most of that paragraph is about books and a mention of the recent Boston Marathon. (duh) The rest piqued my interest, so I attempted, through trial-and-error, to figure out what language was being used. (which would tax my feeble mind, esp. as I have trouble understanding E. Texas accents)

Since the title has "Irish" in it, I first thought I would need a Gaelic translation, but a quick search didn't turn up an online translator and instead I'd have to submit the text to forums.

Uh, no thanks. (I could do without the potential humiliation)

It seemed more "Dutch" to me, or even German, but it didn't translate well, but the fact that a few words WERE translated made me think it might be Scandinavian. I tried Icelandic, Swedish, then got a fair translation with Norwegian.

Bingo! I think. The problem lies in having to translate the translated text. Here's the translation.

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Boston Marathon stayed be convenient cosily. A great many people as gauket in avenue. Additional interesting is it always to get the boom innom a bookshop

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Here's what I think it means:

It's expensive to stay in Boston. Lots of people watching in the street. It starts falling apart there: It's also interesting to get the "boom in a bookshop"???

Uh oh. Not for sure I even WANT that last part translated.

The last bit in the paragraph translates thusly:

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Read accurate lastly pages at In spite of the fact that Moor's Blame Sigh at Rush hour. A good one book , especially likes I the allurement against Andalusia , any I herself senses at body.

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O-kay. Another book review, one that the Muslims would chop his head off over and get extra virgins allotted to them in Paradise because he's also gay. I think he's identifying with a female character in the book. I dunno, like I said, I'm not good at this.

Here's more:

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Har stort sett brukt dagen på å lese, sittende i solen. Høydepunktet var de to brasilianske vaskejentene som tryllet leiligheten skinnende ren. De la endatil sammen mine skitne klær. Noe som på en måte forplikter meg til å bruke de litt mer. Så veldig skitne er de heller ikke.

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The online translation:

Has large sett cast-off day at to peruse , in office in sun. Climax were they dates back to Brazilian vaskejentene as conjure the occasion bright clean-cut. They allow continueous comparison mine dirty clothes. Looked like in a way am committing at to consumes they a little more than. Saw awfully dirty are they nor.

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My translation:

Oh boy. Had a day off, or goofed off at the office getting some sun. The end (I hope that means the end...or maybe I don't) dates back to some Brazilian something and the memory is fresh and pure. Someone's always criticizing the way he dresses. Someone gave him a dirty look because they thought him fat but they're dirtier than he is. So there.

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I can't dwell on this sort of thing, it'll drive me nuts. Especially this:

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Har spist to burritoer i dag. Føler meg skitten, som om jeg har brutt uskrevne lover og etikette. Men godt var det.

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When it translates to this:

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Has eaten dates back to burritoer today. Senses my dirt , as if I've broken uskrevne laws and label. But be comfortable stayed facts

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Whatever it means, I'm glad he's tellin' the truth. Wonder if "burritoer" is a "burrito" and if he's talking about eating them for days or not having one until today after only eating dates? Maybe he had a burrito on a date? I wonder what he means by "senses my dirt" and what sort of laws he thinks someone else might think he's broken?