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April 1, 2008

Gift Suggestion

Something I'd love to have, because my ass sure seems chapped a lot here lately.

Taint Paint

(from the website)

Use Taint Paint's all natural mixture of bees wax,
coconut oil, almond oil and vitamin E to combat:

Mechanic’s ass
Trucker’s Butt
Chaped Chode
Torn up Taint
Athlete’s Chafe
Asshole Casserole
Diaper Rash (Both Infant and Elderly)
Farmer’s Crack
Swamp ass (Swass) and Crotch
Over Sexed Grundel
Raw Booty
Niagra Balls
Tender Haunches-
And any other rubbed or sore area.
For External Use Only

I've had all of those.(at one time or 'nother)

Remember, my birthday is close and Christmas isn't all that far off!

(I could use it before then, though)

2 comments:

sharintexas said...

I just HAD to go to the website, Mike. I've been wondering what to get you for your birthday next month. How many do you want? $6 is not a bad price if it does what it says it does. I also Googled that word and learned a thing or two that 20+ years of nursing never taught me! Guess I should have asked you for that explanation to pay you back for asking me what a "whore" was 45 years ago.

Mike said...

"My ass being chapped" really refers to being P.O.'d at the world, not a physical ailment.

I'm sure the stuff is good, but I'd bet the name is the best part of it.

Joe Bill taught me what "taint" means. Showed me too.