On Broadway - George Benson

Don't hate her because she's beautiful.

I've a friend who is the white, Texas, female version of Sanford of that old TV show Sanford and Son. This was in her front yard with tons of other junk. I tried to talk her out of it her, but she - the female Sanford, not the mannequin head - didn't want to part with it her.

This effects me on some level, but I'm afraid to try to figure out just what that level is. It might be deeper than I've ever gone before.

I'm a fairly shallow person, so that's not really saying all that much.

Pizza Poll

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What Your Pizza Reveals

Your appetite is that of a sperm whale. You don't eat too much, unless a wheelbarrow is now considered a spoon. You are a very ugly pizza eater. In fact, I bet you were called "Pizzaface" as a kid, weren't you? You like food that's either raw or cooked. You aren't impressed with "gourmet" foods because you can't even SPELL "gourmet" much less know what it is. You are selfish, picayune, and inconsiderate with your lovers. You are an ill-bred insufferable jerk. You should consider suicide. The stereotype that least fits you is human being. Your friends secretly agree.

What Does Your Pizza Say About You?

Walmart Ain't Sweet

I'm getting extremely annoyed with my local Walmart. Over the course of the last year, they've had the big bags of Splenda on their shelves exactly once. They've got the smaller sizes, the boxes with the individual packages, plus the sugar/Splenda mixes (what's up with that?) but not the large size bag.

I would prefer buying my sweetener there instead of the grocery store as I can save a buck a bag at Walmart. At least the last time I spent an extra dollar I got a free Koolaid spoon.

I did purchase a new item from Splenda, a nifty little dispenser that, with one click, drops a tiny pellet that's equiv. to one half a teaspoon of sugar. For some reason I always think of rabbits pooping in my coffee when I sweeten it.

Just as well, I guess, that I have to monitor my Splenda intake; some say it's toxic.