"I stink, therefore I am."
Fed the Beej earlier; he's been eating so much lately, I opened up two pouches for him, figuring I'd mix a little hard food with what he didn't eat and give it to the cat that's adopted us.
She's a fussy little heifer, turning up her nose at the cheap hard food and leaves nearly all of it and then the ants swarm over it and making me have to throw it away. She ate most of what I put out this time, though and to keep the ants from getting all over it I gave the remains a pitch just off the porch. It was starting to sprinkle and I figured the rain would "melt" it.
I looked outside later to see if the Beej wanted in from the rain, but my porch light was burned out. I grabbed a flashlight I keep handy and shined the light, looking for my cat. I saw a bushy tail poking up from the side of the porch and thought "Well, you little *&^$%#@! You won't eat it from the dish, but you'll scarf it up off the ground!" I took the couple of steps over to the edge of the porch, then a movement caught my eye. It was the other cat...hmmm, wonder wonder what cat it is eating that food on the ground?
One quick look with the beam of the flashlight told me all I needed to know. It was a skunk and my movement towards it had made it turn backwards towards me, tail up in the air, its backside quivering, ready to fire. I wasn't but a foot or two away from it!
I got back inside as quickly as possible. Peeking out the door and shining the light, I saw the skunk had gone away. Thinking that maybe I could pour some strong-scented cleaner on the ground to deter it from hanging around, I grabbed the bottle from under the sink only to find the skunk had gone back to eating. As soon as the light hit it, it resumed its "offensive" position again. I shooed it away several times, but it kept coming back. I even threw an old slipper at it but that didn't keep it away for very long. I figured I was pushing my luck, so I left it alone.
For a few seconds, I thought of getting out a .22 pistol and shooting it. I keep bird shot in one pistol -never have used it, but I would if a dog was harassing my old cat-varmint. It didn't take long for me to figure out that might be a bad idea, esp. if any shot ricocheted or I missed, because my truck was right behind the skunk.
I hope it's gone by the morning; I hate being held hostage in my own house by something smaller than a cat. I hope B doesn't smell like a skunk in the morning or he'll have to take his meals outside. I'll have to feed the other cat up on a lawn chair in hopes the skunk can't get up there.
August 29, 2011
This Really Stinks!
August 22, 2011
Are You Dead or Alive?
Nothing too different about the contents and intent of this scam spam, I've just never seen one worded this way. The subject line was:
ARE YOU DEAD OR ALIVE?GET BACK ASAP
Here's the text, with the funny part emphasized:
INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND
23 HERBERT MARCAULEY AVENUE
WUSE 2 GARKI ABUJA
FEDERAL CAPITAL TERRITORY
Attention:
A power of attorney was forwarded to our office this morning by two gentlemen, one of them is an American national and he is MR DAVID DEANE by name while the other person is MR JACK MORGAN by name a CANADIAN national.
This gentlemen claimed to be your representative, and this power of attorney stated that you are dead, they brought an account to replace your information's in other to claim your fund of $6.5 Million Usd which it is right now lying DORMANT and UNCLAIMED, below is the new account they have submitted:
BANK.-HSBC CANADA
VANCOUVER CANADA
ACCOUNT NO. 2984-0008-66
SWIFT CODE. BOPIPHMM
Be further informed that this power of attorney also stated that you suffered and died of a throat cancer. You are therefore given 24hrs to Confirm the truth in this information, If you are still alive, You are to Contact us back immediately, Because we work 24 hrs just to ensure that we Monitor all the Activities going on in regards to the transfer of beneficiaries Inheritance and contract payment.
You are to call this office immediately for clarifications on this matter As we shall be available 24 hrs to speak with you and give you the Necessary guidelines on how to ensure that your payment is wired to you Immediately.Just also be informed that any further delay from your side could beDangerous, as we would not be held responsible of wrong payment.
Thank you.
Mr Mark Richards
International Monetary Funds Agents
Wonder what they would say if a dead person replied to them?
August 17, 2011
Spam, Spam, Spam
And more spam. This is my revenge, posting the email addresses of those who spam me. I don't do it every day(it's almost overwhelming), but at least once a week I've copied the email addys of the spammers to a Notepad document. I posted a few the other day, but I want to make sure the spiders/spam harvesting bots get them, so this will be a fairly regular feature. I'm going to post them in the smallest font and will "white" them out, so that's what the empty space will be. Run your cursor over them if you want to see, but to be honest, I wouldn't bother.
They mess with me, I'm gonna mess with them.
August 13, 2011
And the brown gravy, too.
I don't eat at KFC very often, but I always get the mashed potatoes as one of my sides, along w/ cole slaw. Making me hungry, think I have some coupons somewhere around here. (and as expensive as KFC has become, I need a discount)
You Are Mashed Potatoes |
 You like the simple things in life. You think complexity is a lot of fuss and often overrated. You take the slow and steady approach whenever possible. You never like to be in too much of a rush. You are conventional and orthodox. You are the most normal person you know. You like and prefer solitude. You are your own best friend. |
That last part about preferring solitude is spot-on. My momma used to say I was my own best friend, and she wasn't being hard on me, either. The bit just above, though, about being conventional and orthodox and being normal is just about as far from what I am as can be. The other descriptions fit me, though.
August 5, 2011
The Quiz Cheated FOR Me
I've got a method for choosing answers on the ToTG quiz; I quickly read the question, then read the multiple choice options. There is usually one answer that doesn't belong - it's silly, or has nothing to do with the question. I then try to choose from the remaining three...I get some wrong, but the method usually works.
Of course, there are categories that suit me better than the other players and some that they know better than me. When I get Broadway musical questions, I've had pretty good luck with choosing - if they're options - either "Cats" or "Phantom of the Opera"
My next-to-the last question was one such example. I didn't recognize the actors, so I took a guess at "Cats". The last question was a gimme, considering that I basically had the answer given to me in the previous question.
Click for larger view
Since the previous question's options had only "Cats" in common with the last, it was a no-brainer! I aced today's quiz, thanks to a lucky guess on #9 and the similar last question.
August 4, 2011
Maybe You Won't Be Lonely
With a million spam emails to keep you busy.
I've had a GMail account for a long time, but never used the filters. Recently I've been deluged with spam and even though I can mark it as such, it still comes in droves. I still have to check the junk mail to make sure a legitimate email doesn't escape my attention and it takes some time to do a cursory scan of the hundreds of mails that hit the folder every day.
Now I've taken the time to set several filters with keywords in the subject line such as "sex - viagra - cialis - free- AARP - discount - drugs", etc. If you want to email me, make sure you don't put one of those words in the subject line or it will go straight to the deleted folder.
Here lately I've been getting dozens of mails every day from:
sexymilf008@gmail.com
Saying this:
"Mike I am Horny and Lonely Want to Chat"
First of all, I know these are just scams, intended to prey upon the gullible. Secondly, I can't understand why they think if one doesn't work why several hundred a week would? In the third place, if I'm horny the last thing I want to do is chat. Sheesh.
I've decided to mete out a small measure of revenge and publish the originating email addys. I'm sure the Gmail one posted above isn't a valid one, but the ones in the headers most likely are since they point to a domain of which the sole purpose is to bilk people out of money. So, I've decided to post the addresses in hopes that this post will be trawled by email harvesting bots - and I'm sure it will be - and that their domains are inundated with spam just like they have done to me.
Here's the first block of addresses and I will do another post when I've collected more:
info@twowheeldrivemanufacturers.com
info@onlinecareersolution.com
info@discountbrandvaluetips.com
info@surgerytipsfordummies.info
info@steviacookiediet.com
info@washfuelcellsforce.com
info@chautauquaworld.com
info@mobileworksuccess.com
info@storecouponvaluetips.com
I'm not really for the death penalty, but if I were on a jury trying these scammin' SOBs I'd sentence them to death. I'd slice open their femoral artery and then drop 'em in a shark tank.
Bastards.
