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October 31, 2008
But Not the Green Ones
Acme Costume Co.
A bald man with a wooden leg gets invited to a Halloween party. He doesn't know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg so he writes to a costume company to explain his problem. A few days later, he received a parcel with the following note:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and, with your wooden leg, you will be just right as a pirate.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have emphasized his wooden leg and so he writes a letter of complaint. A week goes by and he receives another parcel and a note, which says:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and, with your bald head, you will really look the part.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
Now the man is really upset since they have gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to emphasizing his bald head so again he writes the company another nasty letter of complaint. The next day he gets a small parcel and a note, which reads:
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a bottle of molasses and a bag of crushed nuts. Pour the molasses over your bald head, pat on crushed nuts, stick your wooden leg up your ass and go as a caramel apple.
Very truly yours,
Acme Costume Co.
The Wrong Appendage
Was just listening to Talking Cowboys, the daily online talk show on the Dallas Cowboys website, and one of the hosts compared the Dallas injury woes to a cartoon character, trying to stop leaks in a dam with his fingers and toes, hands and feet.
"Sometimes you just don't have enough appendages." quipped one of the show's hosts.
Uh, that's not it. It's just that sometimes, when the leaks are just beginning, that Dallas sticks the wrong appendage in the dam.
Not the fingers or toes, either.
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