I think the Beej was the model for this:
February 26, 2009
Language Pwefewences
Click images for larger view.
I was changing some of my Google search preferences and noticed that "Elmer Fudd" was a language option. 
Not a spam one!
Hello.
Please, do not be surprise - this letter is not a spam one.
You will probably be amazed of the fact that I am writing you an e-mail. Yesterday I myself was amazed too, when saw your letter in my e-mail box. The letter was about love and sensations among people. The motto of the letter was like this search for love and you ll become happy. I liked this letter very much. There was a list of e-mails where I found yours. I decided to write you. Maybe you are seeking love too? Maybe it s our destiny?
I do not know actually who was the person that had sent me that e-mail and how did he get my e-mail address.
I think it is not important. The most amazing thing is that I can write you. I would like to know more about you. Providing that it is me who is the first to write, I want to say some words of my personality.
My name is Anastasiya. I am 30 years old. I have never been married and have no children. I am cute, calm, kind and sociable.
I think it is interesting to talk with you and discover new features of yours Discover you as a person. I am a serious woman and I am looking for serious relations. For me it means no deception, no double jokes. I am looking for a real person who will manage to love and respect me. I hope you are searching for your love, too.
I do not think that in love-relations age and appearance have any importance. The chief factor for me is ability to love and respect seriously!
I have lots of hobbies and interests in life. Among them you will find sport, cooking, books reading and definitely music. I am going crazy about housekeeping and house holding. I like tiding up and general cleaning. I am keen on experimenting in my kitchen. I love changes. I am fond of animals and prefer to lead a healthy lifestyle, thus, I do not smoke or use alcohol.
Hey, my new pen-friend. What can you tell me about yourself? I want to learn more about you. In my future letter I will describe my character and my personality more precisely.
Definitely, I will send you some of my photographs. It will help you to understand who I am and where I live. My photos will reveal all parts of my life my happiness, my pensiveness and sometimes melancholy.
Please reply only to my personal e-mail: yaroslavllady1978@gmail.com
I am looking forward to your reply. I am really interested in knowing you better.
Remember of me.
Your new friend,
Anastasiya.
Dear Anastasiya,
I think you're lying to me. You say you're "calm and sociable" then you say you don't drink or smoke. Drinking and smoking keeps ME calm and sociable.
You also said you're going crazy "about housekeeping and house holding". Uh, you might want to think about taking up drinking and smoking. For example, if you smoke while running the vacuum, you don't even have to use an ash tray and there's a lot to be said for doing the dishes while drunk as a skunk.
I'm interested in "experimenting" in the kitchen, too.
On second thought, I bet you were talking about cooking, weren't you?
One thing I believe you on, though; your letter really isn't spam.
It's a crock.
Yours truly,
Mike
P.S. Next letter, when you send those photos, don't reveal your happiness, your pensiveness and sometimes melancholy. Just reveal yourself.
February 24, 2009
What is Life?
What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset.
- Crowfoot, Blackfoot warrior and orator, 1890
The Tiny Cabin
From the email archives:
A social worker from a big city in Massachusetts recently transferred to the mountains of North Carolina and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life.
Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.
'Anybody home?' she asked.
Yep,' came a kid's voice through the door.
'Is your father there?' asked the social worker.
'Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,' said the kid.
'Well, is your mother there?' persisted the social worker.
'Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,' said the kid.
'But,' protested the social worker, 'are you never together as a family?'
'Sure, but not here,' said the kid through the door.
'This is the outhouse!'
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