Top of Texas Gazette

January 7, 2010

Worst Way to Die?

From one of my favorite sites, Do I Have to Choose One?

Although the blog's posts are infrequent, the polls are almost always funny/thought provoking/horrifying. The latest poll:

Looking through the list, I would have to say that falling, drowning and suffocating would be my choices for my own demise. They're relatively quick, unlike dehydration, torture and disease. Burning would be fairly quick, but I sure don't want to go out that way, such horrible pain.

Being eaten alive got my vote; it immediately reminded me of the eaten by pigs scene in Hannibal. (believe it or not, it seemed more graphic in the book)

The Hippie & the Spice Rack

From Joke of the Day

With a screech of brakes, an ambulance pulls up at the local casualty ward and a hippie is wheeled out on a gurney. The doctor questions his long-haired colleagues.

''So what was he doing then?'' asks the physician. ''Acid? Cannabis?''

''Sort of,'' replies one of the hippies, nervously thumbing his caftan. ''But we ran out of gear, so I skinned up a homemade spliff.''

''And what was in that?'' asks the doctor.

''Um, I kind of raided my girlfriend's spice rack.'' says the hippie. ''There was a bit of cumin, some turmeric and a little paprika.''

''Well, that explains it,'' the doctor replies, looking at them gravely. '

'He is in a Korma.''

From Wiki:
Korma

Korma (sometimes spelt kormaa, qorma, kavurma, khorma, or kurma) is a dish originating in South Asia which can be made with yoghurt, cream, nut and seed pastes or coconut milk; it is usually considered a type of curry. Both vegetarian and non-vegetarian kormas exist.

Y'know, it's always been said that a joke isn't funny if you have to explain it. I guess an online joke isn't funny if you have to Google it.

How to Gleek

From WikiHow, instructions on How to Gleek

This caught my eye because it seems to me to be a rare "talent"; my big sis can do it at will, and I can do it most of the time and quite often involuntarily when I yawn. Maybe it runs in families, I dunno but when I've done it for people it's almost always impressed them. To be honest, they were my friends and, like me, are easily amused.

Gleeking is the act of stimulating the saliva glands underneath your tongue into spitting a concentrated jet of pure saliva. Usually, it happens naturally when you yawn. It takes practice and concentration to gleek on purpose but these steps will help you learn how, so you can add it to your arsenal of body tricks.

More at:

How to Gleek