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March 30, 2012

Sugar Daddy

Got an email in my spam folder just now; here's the graphic that was in it:


I'm hoping they know something I don't...that maybe later tonight I will win the lottery and I CAN be a sugar daddy.

Actually, I wouldn't want a gold digger, even if I could afford her and she was twice as pretty as the woman in the graphic.  No, I want a woman who loves me for my sense of humor, my gentle and kind nature and my good looks.

Aw, who am I kidding? Maybe I DO need to be wealthy.

Oh yeah, just because they spammed me, here's their email addy:

sugardaddy@luckblog.com

I may not be handsome or wealthy, but I am a vindictive cuss.

March 28, 2012

Choking on Artichokes

A great artichoke post hit my reader earlier:


I'll have to admit that I was basically unfamiliar with artichokes until a few years ago. Oh, I knew what they were and loved a pasta salad w/ artichoke hearts sold at a local supermarket deli.

So, I never had much experience with them until I dated a woman who cooked me dinner one night - steaks, corn-on-the-cob, baked potatoes and for an appetizer, she prepared an artichoke.  I watched her as she trimmed the leaves, then boiled the thing in a few inches of water. (basically steaming it, she informed me)

She made a couple of dipping sauces;  one was just melted butter and another was made with mayo and some various herbs and a dash of spicy mustard. The artichoke was done, so she put it on a serving platter along w/ the sauces and told me to have at it while she finished the rest of the meal.

Gamely, I snapped off a leaf, dipped it in butter and popped it in my mouth.  I started chewing...and chewing and chewing and chewing.  I chewed until my jaw was aching, then decided to swallow.  It was like swallowing shredded tree bark. (not that I've ever done that, I just imagine it was like that)

I sat there wondering what it was people saw in this particular dish. My gosh, maybe a cow would like it, what with the ability to chew, swallow, then bring it back up to chew some more, just as they do a cud of grass.  I bet grass would be easier to digest than an artichoke leaf.  Thinking that perhaps I had just got a leaf that wasn't cooked through, I popped another leaf off and started chewing on it.  Same thing as before.  This time I didn't attempt to swallow, but got up with the excuse I needed a glass of water (and I did!) but went to the trash and spat out the leaf, making sure she didn't see me.  I went and sat back down, saying nothing.

My lady friend noticed I wasn't eating the artichoke and asked me if there was something wrong with it.  She came over, snapped off a leaf, dipped it in butter, scraped it on her teeth then discarded what was left on an empty plate.  She looked around the table and asked me where my "spent" leaves were.  I told her I hadn't done as she did, but had chewed and then swallowed the entire thing.

She laughed until she was crying.  Then, when she caught her breath, told me that you don't eat the entire thing, but was just supposed to scrape the waxy covering off the leaf, then throw the rest away.

It would've been nice if I had known that before eating the entire leaf.

Sometimes ignorance isn't bliss.  Sometimes it's painful to chew.

March 27, 2012

The Waiting Game

Thought I'd check my Mega Millions lottery ticket; I knew from past experience to not even bother for a few minutes after the drawing and it's a longer wait when the jackpot is huge as it is now. The official Texas Lottery site has the results for all the Texas games as well as Powerball and Mega Millions. I waited for thirty minutes, then clicked on the link and got this error message:















A little unusual, but not totally unexpected. I then went to the official Mega Millions site and saw this:













The Texas Lottery site was probably just overwhelmed with traffic.  I bet I could have kept refreshing and eventually got the site to load.  I imagine the Mega Millions site servers have crashed.

Not sure why I'm even bothering about it; I'd bet - if I had it - 363 million I didn't win. The odds of me winning that bet are much better than the odds I won the lottery. (the same, only in reverse)

Oh well, I'll just go on to bed ,check in the morning.  I might be a multi-millionaire when I wake up.

Yeah, right.

UPDATE: According to an unofficial lottery results website, no one won the lottery. They put the new jackpot at 476 million with a cash value of $341.4 million. They also state it will be the largest prize "the world has ever seen."

I plan on buying a ticket early.  I remember a drawing for a huge jackpot a few years ago where there was so much activity, the Texas Lottery machines couldn't communicate w/ the main computer in Austin..

Tuesday Afternoon - Moody Blues