Shortly after Thanksgiving, I was shopping in the grocery store closest to my house. I pushed my cart through the meat section, looking for sales on my favorite lunch meats, hamburger, etc. when I noticed they had hams on sale. They weren't "real" hams, but those pressed lumps of pork, usually with a fair amount of gristle.
Now, I don't eat a lot of pork. I like it, but for various reasons I try to avoid it. Oh, I'll get bacon or sausage on the rare occasion when I eat breakfast at a nearby cafe, but I don't normally buy it. I try to buy chicken or beef hot dogs and about the only time I'll eat a wiener made w/ pork is when I buy a corn dog from the convenience store. I don't REFUSE to eat pork, but like I said, I just don't eat much of it.
So, when I saw those hams, I started to walk on by, but I stopped. The price was certainly good: $5.99. I hadn't seen them so cheap for years. About ten years ago or so, I practically lived on those things. (one of the reasons I don't eat much pork) At the time they were five bucks and one of them made meals for a week or more. That was nice, but ham sandwiches twice a day made me start to dislike them.
Still, a ham sandwich DID sound pretty good, so I bought one and took it home. I unwrapped it, cut off the "rind" and cut that up for the stray cat that hangs around, then thinly sliced enough off for a fat sandwich. I slathered two slices of of my double-fiber bread (I hardly ever eat more than one slice/day because of the carbs) with salad dressing, sliced up a tomato and made a sandwich that would have made Dagwood jealous.
It was delicious! So, for the next week I had a ham sandwich every day. When I reached the end of the meat, I went back to the store to see if they had more. They did - they must have over-ordered too many for the holidays. I had more ham sandwiches. I ran out again the other day, went back to the store and bought yet another one. I was a little worried about eating too much bread, so I ate ham on crackers, diced it up with beans, nibbled on a slice without anything else just for a snack. It tasted SO good, even if it wasn't a "real" ham.
Then the other day I stepped on my scales. I read the number, then thought I'd better take off my shoes and hoodie I was wearing because that weight COULDN'T be right! I stepped back on the scales and saw that the items of clothing I had taken off hadn't helped much...I was ten lbs. heavier than I had been just a few weeks ago!
Just polished off the last of the ham for a midnight snack. I think I've hammed it up enough. Tomorrow I start on a diet. -sigh- Damn ham.
2 comments:
If I blogged the post would read "Curse You Chocolate Cake". THe alliteration isn't nearly so neat but then you always were the king of alliteration. ;-)
I go by the bakery section at WM or the other grocery store and torment myself. After I leave, they have to get an employee to come mop up the drool off the floor.
I love alliteration, dunno why. I used to write headlines in literary/journalism contests and I won second place at regional with an alliterative headline. The story was about a kid who went through the garbage and fixed things up. Forget the exact headline (it was only 40 yrs. ago), but it was something like "Texas Teen Turns Trash Into Treasure". Guess the judges liked it.
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