I Didn't Know

"Slob" was a fashion

Far Away Fortune

I hope it hurries up and gets here.

So Far Away - Staind

Senseless Voices

No, they don't.

Not when my TV is tuned to C-SPAN, CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC or PBS news.

A Fortune Yarn

---

I can't sew very well, much less knit. I can only sew so-so and am not a neat knitter.

This fortune reminds me of something I saw on a bathroom wall. Someone had scribbled:

"My mother made me a homosexual."

Under that someone else had added:

"If I gave her the wool, would she make me one too?"

Flirting Fortune

Oh yeah, a sexual harassment suit is anything but dull.

Freedom Fortune

Such as "Mike, someone's made your bail."???

Fearful Fortune

I hope she's not packin' heat.

Fallen Angels

Maybe it's the angels that HAVEN'T noticed me I should be worried about catching their eye.

The only earthly angels that have noticed me lately are the fallen kind. (the Russian ones that show up in my spam folder... the angels that have an angle)

Earth Angel - The Temptations

Unfortunate Fortune

I'd jump that hurdle but I'm just not good enough.

Feathered Fried Fortune

This fortune is funny on several levels. I eat chicken several times a week and in fact, had it yesterday for lunch AND supper. There's a few pieces left over, so I'll probably have it again for my late lunch today.

Maybe this fortune is warning me that if I eat much more chicken I'll start sprouting pinfeathers.



It's certainly not fortunate to be a chicken when I'm around.

Ride the Chicken Train

Past Due Fortune

Oh, but I do.

It's done in Early Salvation Army.

Funny False Fortune For a Fool

This isn't true; I'm not interested in public service, nor would I would make an outstanding statesman.

OTOH, I'd make a better president than the one we have now...or the last several, for that matter.

I'm still not sayin' I'd make an outstanding statesman, I'm just sayin'.

The Stars Get the Moon

I understand this is supposed to be some profound statement, something to the effect that the moon affects all of us here on God's Green Earth, that it's a symbol of romance or the like, but the first thing I thought of was how it applies to Hollywood.

In that context, it's certainly true. Here's to you, Hollywood, you bunch of leftist, America-hating, self-righteous azzwipes. (Penn, Sarandon, Baldwin, et al, ad nauseam)

Green Thumb Fortune

And next week my fortune will say "Your plant is about to die".

A Fortune for Slobs

The Only Problem

With my daily fortune:



Is I HAVE to be around myself all day.

My Every Day Fortune

(to be honest, I read this wrong the first time)