A Marriage Proposal

See?



Actually, it's not. What it is is the second in an exchange between me and a scammer spammer. I'm sure you've seen them:

Dear Friend,

I am Mary Kaka, the daughter of the former Democratic Republic of Congo, Late chief Anthony Kaka, before the assassination of my father; he deposited the sum of $10.5 million (Ten Million Five Hunderd Thousand Dollars) in Accra Ghana, which i have all the detail about the deposit.

I want to present you as my late father next of kin for the collection of the funds from the security where he deposited the money,because he did not mention any next of kin when deposited the money.

I want you to do your feasibility study on how to invest the funds in a lucrative investment in your country.

After your acceptance of my offer, i will introduce you to a lawyer that will help in getting the change of title in your favour as the beneficiary (afidavid) of the funds and make the shipment of the funds to you in your country. This will enable you to relate directly with the lawyer.

Please if you are interested in helping me, get back to me so that we can start the process of getting the money to your country ASAP.

I await your response

yours faithfully
Mary Kaka

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And my reply:

I'll be more than happy to help you.

It will require some investment on your part, however. If you'll wire me $10,000 (US), I'll be glad to get a lawyer to represent you. Of course, my expenses will have to come out of that amount and you'll need to agree to send me more when I require it.

Regards,
Mike

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I love to mess with these people's heads. It's so fun to act like I'm taking the bait; I send them stuff like that, then act confused when they write back. They'll then reassure me it's all on the up-and-up. They usually quit after I tell them that I'd rather not deposit it right away in my bank account, telling them the IRS is notified on any transaction over 10k and to just send it General Delivery. When they say that isn't possible, I'll give them a fake routing number on a fake bank.

Waste of time? Sure it is, but I certainly have more time than money and hey! If I'm keeping them busy with my nonsense, it's keeping them from bilking some poor ol' widow woman out of her life savings.

That Mary...she's sure full of Kaka, ain't she?

Here's a little present for ya, Mary: I'm posting your email addy so the spambots can nab it and send YOU some email.

marykaka1@indiatimes.com

Leona Blanche Ray

Leona Blanche Ray

AGE: 79

DIED: February 12, 2009, in Pampa, Texas

SERVICES: 2:00 PM Monday, at Memory Gardens Mausoleum, with Corey Searl, her grandson, who is with Victory Life ministries from Seguin, officiating.

BURIAL: Memory Gardens Cemetery under the direction of Carmichael-Whatley Funeral Directors.

BIOGRAPHY: Mrs. Ray was born March 18, 1929 in Dalhart to A. L. and Mary White. She attended schools in Dalhart. She was a seamstress and homemaker. Leona married Robert Ray in 1984. She was preceded in death by her husband: Robert Ray; 2 daughters: Karla Cho and Julie Vinson; 1 son: Hank Vinson; 1 sister: Nello Beth Willoughby; and her parents: Aram and Mary White.

SURVIVORS: 6 sons: Steve Vinson and Scott Vinson, both of Amarillo, Tracy Vinson and Jimmy Vinson and wife Shirley, all of Austin, David Vinson and wife Tracye of Seabrook, and Jeff Vinson of Pampa; 3 daughters: Cheryl Vinson, Terry Searl and husband Danny, all of Pampa, and Kelly Richey and husband Charles of Amarillo; 1 daughter-in-law: Pam Brown of Austin; 22 grandchildren: Andrew Vinson, Ashlee Vinson, Jeffrey Vinson, Sierra Vinson, Jaycob Vinson, Tracie Jolic, Brent Noble, Christy McCollum, Corey Searl, Bryan Vinson, Stephanie Vinson, David Gruber, Lindsey Cho, Matthew Cho, Amanda Richey, Allison Richey, Ryan Richey, Terry Lynn, Stephanie, Brian Vinson and David Vinson; 16 great-grandchildren: Peyton Vinson, Emily Vinson, Gregory Vinson, Tessa Noble, Joshua Noble, Gracie Noble, Haley Jolic, Layla Jolic, Alexandra Jolic, Hannah McCollum, Hope McCollum, Kelly Gruber, Michael Gruber, Thomas Vinson, Chloe Vinson and Haylie Vinson; 1 sister: Doris Dando and husband Jim of Springfield, Missouri; 2 brothers: Ernie White of Houston and Irvin White and wife Lou Ann of Temple.

MEMORIALS: BSA Hospice, 800 N. Sumner, Pampa, Texas 79065, or the Harvest House, 736 S. Cuyler, Pampa, Texas 79065.

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This wouldn't mean anything to any casual reader of this blog, and even my friends and family who drop by probably wouldn't recognize the name.

"Mizz Ray", as I called her, was the mother of one of my very best friends I've ever had, Julie, who passed away about five years ago.

Mizz Ray was a lot of fun to be around; she had a good sense of humor and a native intelligence that lent itself to that extremely rare quality: common sense. I often went to her for advice on different things, especially those that I would've had some trouble talking about to my own mother. I was always welcomed in her home and if I was hungry when I got there, I never was when I left.

Even after Julie passed away, I tried to keep up with Mizz Ray and would see her youngest son around town and tell him to tell her that I asked about her. She and I both loved Charley Pride's music and as I sit here, am looking at a "mix" CD that I had made several years ago for her of his best songs. I should've gone by and visited, but it seemed I always had something to do and would forget or put it off until "tomorrow".

RIP Mizz Ray.

pinchbeck

From the Word of the Day:

pinchbeck \PINCH-bek\, noun, adjective:
1. an alloy of zinc and copper used to imitate gold in jewelry-making; by extension, something counterfeit; an imitation

adjective:
1. not genuine; fake

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I've never seen this word in print nor have I ever heard it spoken. It's not something I'd use even if I HAD known it, I think. I certainly don't know everything, though.

That's no news to regular readers of this blog.

It fits this blog, though.

"The Pinchbeck Gazette". Sounds good to me.

I FAIL

Because I didn't know what "FAIL" meant. Of course I know the word, but I thought "FAIL" was shorthand, like "WTF" or "LOL".

I took this test yesterday and it said I was "OMG".

(that was the very first time I've ever used that particular acronym and find it semi-offensive)

I took the test again and changed an answer to question #3, which really needed to be -- AFAIAC -- "All of the above".

You Are FAIL

You love the internet, but it sometimes gets on your nerves. How can so much of humanity be so stupid? Wait, you don't even want to know. While there are some good aspects to being online, you can't help but notice there's so much fail. You liked the internet so much more in the good old days... before all the idiots found out about it!

What Internet Slang Are You?

Mellow Yellow

They call it Mellow Yellow?

From Reuters:

A hardline Hindu organization, known for its opposition to "corrupting" Western food imports, is planning to launch a new soft drink made from cow's urine, often seen as sacred in parts of India.

The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), or National Volunteer Corps, said the bovine beverage is undergoing laboratory tests for the next 2 to 3 months but did not give a specific date for its commercial release.

The flavor is not yet known, but the RSS said the liquid produced by Hinduism's revered holy cows is being mixed with products such as aloe vera and gooseberry to fight diseases such as diabetes and cancer.

Many Hindus consider cow urine to have medicinal properties and it is often drunk in religious festivals.

The organization, which aims to transform India's secular society and establish the supremacy of a Hindu majority, said it had not decided on a name or a price for the drink.

Read the rest of the article

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I can think of all sorts of names for it, but "Mellow Yellow" sounds good to me.

There's already a theme song they could use:

Look Both Ways!

I guess this Londoner's mum didn't tell him to look both ways before crossing the street...or railway crossing.



His shoe didn't come off because the train hit it; it was because it suddenly weighed several more pounds than the other.