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September 18, 2010

Deep...and wide




You Are Deep



You try to observe the world rather than judge it. You feel like you are here to learn.

You see every side to people. You know that things are complicated and nuanced.

You have trouble getting along with people who are flippant or silly. You crave substance.

You connect best with philosophical, thoughtful types. Your friends care about ideas.


September 17, 2010

Axed in the Eye

I was at WalMart the other day and stopped at the men's fragrance aisle to look at a new Axe product. I like the stuff, even though the other day I saw a post in a forum where the comment was made "that stinks worse than does five-yr. olds turned loose in the Axe aisle.". I was alone except for a woman looking at the shaving supplies. (she didn't have a beard, so I figured she was buying something for her husband)

I picked up a fragrance I hadn't seen before and lowered my glasses (I need bifocals!) to read the name on the canister, then tried to get a hint of what it smelled like by bringing it up to my nose and sniffing the pinhole where the spray comes out. I couldn't smell anything, so I pushed the button to get a better idea of how it smelled...

...and sprayed it right in my eye!

I dropped the container and yelled, getting the attention of the woman.

"Stuff stinks, don't it?"

September 16, 2010

Famous Last Words

From the email archives:

Famous Last Words


"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".

"Don't touch the red button!"

"Gee, that's a cute tattoo."

It's fireproof.

"What does this button do?"

"So, you're a cannibal."

"Are you sure the power is off?"

"Pull the pin and count to what?"

"Don’t worry, it has airbags."

"Hey, what’s that buzzing noise?"

"Don’t worry, it's not that deep."

"One time at band camp...."

"No, he doesn’t bite."

"Hey, look! A light at the end of the tunnel!"

"I can pass this guy."

"My brakes are fine."

"Nice doggy."

"I think it's trying to communicate..."

"Homicidal Tendencies"?

"Nah, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

September 14, 2010

ambrosial

ambrosial\ am-BROH-zhuhl \ , adjective;
1. Exceptionally pleasing to taste or smell; especially delicious or fragrant.
2. Worthy of the gods; divine.



I can think of several things ambrosial; my friend Barb's fudge, my grandmother's fried chicken and my momma's roast beef, but there is one memory of ambrosia that really stands out: once, after a hot, hard dusty day moving the rig, my crew and I walked over to a nearby windmill and had some of the coldest, cleanest water I've ever consumed.

Funny how a simple drink of water could bring so much pleasure.

September 13, 2010

And Sharp as a Cactus!




You Are Witty



You are a hilarious and expressive person. You love to entertain a crowd.

You see humor in everything, and you enjoy making light of situations.

Your friends depend on you for comic relief, and they usually don't even mind when it's at their expense.

You know that the key to being funny is pushing the envelope. And you are always willing to take a risk.


September 12, 2010

subaudition

subaudition\suhb-aw-DISH-uhn \ , noun;
1. An act or instance of understanding or mentally supplying something not expressed.



Wasn't familiar with this word, but sure familiar with the definition, having been married.