From the
archives:
You Just Might Be A Scrooge...
If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon.
If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away.
If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas.
If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson.
If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night.
If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts.
If your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon.
If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park.
If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log.
If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie.
If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat.
If your favorite version of "Silent Night" is sung by OJ Simpson.
If your favorite past time is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors' string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn caricatures with egg nog.
And, finally - if your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin - you just might be a Scrooge.