Hell's Bells - AC/DC

If you think this song is evil, or simply don't like AC/DC, then just go ahead and play the gong part on your own.

Cleopatra's Lipstick Bugged Her

Cleopatra made her lipstick from crushed beetles, giving it a red pigment and used ground-up ants for the base.

I wonder if the royal dishwasher had problems scrubbing it off the cups?

Jerry, Pay the Man!

Let's get a deal done, Mr. Jones...take off the tag and pay the man.  I know you have to watch the cap, but how often does a talent like this come along?

He needs to be a Cowboy for life.

Seeing Red

The color red does not make bulls go crazy; bulls are color blind. The bull is likely irritated not by the color, but by the cape's movement as the matador whips it around.

I am not an expert on color, but the recent Internet fixation on the color of "the dress" is making me angry as a bull. (If you're not aware of it, good for you, but if you'd like to know, just Google "the dress" and you'll find out.  It's received much more attention than Monica's blue dress. (and you'll need to Google THAT, too, because I'm sure not gonna link to any stories about it.)

It's Vivaldi's Birthday!

In honor of Antonio Vivaldi and his birthday, here's the concerto Spring from his composition The Four Seasons, performed by Julia Fischer accompanied by the Academy of St Martin in the Fields at the National Botanic Garden of Wales. This post is not only to celebrate what is unarguably Vivaldi's best-know composition, but also wishful thinking on my part...seeing as how it's still winter, but that I'm desperately looking forward to springtime.

Why English is Such a Difficult Language

From the archives:

1.) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write  - but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend. If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.


P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?