What's Your Blood, Bud?

This is a "bump" up because there's only seven days left in the poll. (in the right-hand column)

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An article today in the local news feed in the right-hand column is about the Coffee Memorial Blood center and how it has helped over half a million people since it opened in 1948.

I used to "give" blood quite often; when I was in college, we used to sell it for ten bucks a pint. (and that always embarrassed my momma to no end for some reason, guess it was something she thought only winos did. We didn't spend the money on wine but instead spent it on gasoline, admission to Palo Duro Canyon, movies, beer and pot. Young and dumb, what can I say? )

We used to race each other to see who could finish first.



I remember one guy in our unit, Floyd from Dalhart. He found out we were going to give blood one day and wanted to come along and make ten dollars, too. The first-time donors have to fill out a questionnaire which asked what sort of diseases one might have had such as syphillis, gonorrhea... the usual STDs, along with TB and any other communicable diseases.

Floyd sat there filling out the form, scratching his head, when all of a sudden he put down his pencil and said "I'll just wait on you guys out in the car." I asked him what was wrong and he told me:

"Hell, I've had ALL of them things!"

They did away with paying for blood (although I think there's still a program that pays for serum) but I still gave. Instead of money, they gave you "insurance" for you and your immediate family in case you ever needed blood. (and I'm not sure if that particular program is still in place) The last time I donated was when I went back to school and it affected me as it never had before and I got very sick and nearly passed out.

I'm not sure they'd want my diabetic blood now, but if they would, I'd be willing to donate. I would have to pass on the OJ they hand out afterwards, though. It'd probably send me into a coma.

On the other hand, back in college, when we'd replace that pint of blood with a couple pints of beer, it'd almost put me into a coma then, too.

Last summer I wrote about and published some photos of the Coffee Center's Blood Bus.

You can read about the various blood types at Wiki.

This got me to thinking this might be a good topic for a new poll. Please, if you would, vote over in the right-hand column and tell us what is your blood type. I've already voted; I'm AB+, a fairly rare blood type.

I started to add "Alien" to the options, but I'm sure my ex-girlfriend doesn't visit this blog.

Blood Types & Personality

While looking at a post in an MSN Group about donating blood, I saw a post about a Japanese theory that claims one's blood type influences their personality.

From Wiki:

Japanese Blood Type Personality Chart

Type A
Best Traits: Earnest, creative, sensible, calm.
Worst Traits: Fastidious, overearnest.

Type B
Best Traits: Wild, a doer, cheerful.
Worst Traits: Selfish, irresponsible, arrogant.

Type AB
Best Traits: Cool, controlled, rational.
Worst Traits: Critical, indecisive.

Type O
Best Traits: Agreeable, sociable, an optimist.
Worst Traits: Vain, careless, ruthless.

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Since I'm AB+, I'm pretty sure there's nothing to this by my own "best traits". I'd like to think I am cool and controlled, but rational???

Since you've read this far, why don't you tell us what YOUR blood type is in the poll in the right-hand column?

You can chime in on this post, or in the "What's Your Blood, Bud?" thread.

A Lot of Blood

An adult man's body contains - on average - 1.25 to 1.5 gallons of blood. People who live at high altitudes, where the air contains less oxygen, may have up to 1.9 liters more blood than people who live in low altitude regions. The extra blood delivers additional oxygen to body cells.

Blood doesn't have it's own keyword/label in this blog, but maybe it should.

Blood Will Tell

The results of the "What's Your Blood Type?" poll:

Good News!

Only my head is fat.

I was reading a post in my reader - How I Eat - by well-known food author and personality David Lebovitz, and saw a link to the CDC BMI Calculator (BMI - Body Mass Index)

I've figured my BMI before, but it's been a while. I remember doing it about 10 years ago on my mom's computer and getting the results that I was "morbidly obese". Yikes. I was concerned, but my mom reassured me (which mothers do so well) that I wasn't all that fat and that she was sure there were other variables to take into consideration, such as body frame, muscularity, etc. Still, when I have seen BMI calculators since that time, I avoided them.  I didn't need the reminder that I was fat - the little tag on my pants told me I was every time I put them on.

I went ahead and plugged in my height - 5'11" - and weight - 185lbs - and it told me this:

Your BMI is 25.8, indicating your weight is in the Overweight category for adults of your height. For your height, a normal weight range would be from 133 to 179 pounds.

Overweight? Six lousy pounds and that makes me fat? Good grief, if I was 133 lbs. I'd have to move somewhere there was no wind, far away from the Texas Panhandle.  Remembering what my momma had told me, and hoping for different/better results,  I found another BMI Calculator. It gave me the same number but also added this:

People falling in this BMI range are considered overweight and would benefit from finding healthy ways to lower their weight, such as diet and exercise. Individuals who fall in this range are at increased risk for a variety of illnesses. If your BMI is 27-29.99 your risk of health problems becomes higher. In a recent study an increased rate of blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease was recorded at 27.3 for women and 27.8 for men. It may be a good idea to check your Waist Circumference and compare it with the recommended limits.

So, that's what I did, going to the Body Fat Calculator. As a male, all I had to supply was my waist measurement. Women have to input their wrist, hips and forearm measurements. I'm not sure why that it's so simple for men. I found it odd that women have to input so much more to quantify their body fat, but I went on. I don't think I have any sort of tape other than a retractable one, but I did know my pants size - 32 - so I used that. After hitting the Calculate Body Fat button, I got this:

You have a Body Fat Percentage of 12.55%.

Hmmm...that didn't sound so bad. Maybe not good, but not bad. I remember the chart from using the calculator at mom's that I was something like 30% fat back then.  My pants size back then was larger too, probably a 40. I clicked on the Body Fat Chart and found this:

Body Fat Percentage Categories
Classification    Women (% fat)    Men (% fat)

Essential Fat   10-12%                 2-4%
Athletes          14-20%                 6-13%
Fitness            21-24%                14-17%
Acceptable      25-31%                18-25%
Obese             32%+                   25%+

Wow. I fall within the "Athlete" category, never mind that I'm far from being one these days. I understood the results, though and was pleased that while I'm technically overweight, I'm by no means FAT.

Of course, there's also the need to factor in that there are days I'm a few pounds more than I was today and that on other days I'm a few pounds less. Water weighs 8.3 lbs/gallon and my weight can go up when I'm fully hydrated, down when I need to drink. I drink a lot of water because I know that doing so helps me control my weight and blood sugar.

Yep, water weighs a lot and that's why I shake the heads of broccoli at the grocery store before putting them in the sack. I don't want to pay $1.99/lb. for excess water.

If I was broccoli, I'd cost $368.15. Any bidders? You gotta take the 23 lbs. of fat with me, though.

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Edit to add: I bought some broccoli at the store earlier; it was .99 cents/lb. on sale.  I'd be willing to cut MY price by half, too.

The Blood Bus

At the car show yesterday (Saturday)



Nothing special about the bus, not as a vehicle (the mission it is on is a good one, namely to get folks to donate blood) but I thought the mural was cute:

Hair Raising Trivia

In the 1700s, barbers not only gave haircuts and shaves, they also pulled teeth, performed minor surgery and did bloodletting.

From Wikipedia : The origin of the red and white barber pole (often red, white and blue in the U.S.) is associated with the service of bloodletting and was historically a representation of bloody bandages wrapped around a pole. The original pole had a brass wash basin at the top (representing the vessel in which leeches were kept) and bottom (representing the basin that received the blood). The pole itself represents the staff that the patient gripped during the procedure to encourage blood flow.

My Heart Today

Will beat 102,778 times, pump 1,507 gallons of blood, and push that blood nearly 14,222 miles throughout my body!

Created by MyFitnessPal.com

Death by Mashed Potatoes

I don't get to eat much mashed potatoes these days, but certainly wasn't surprised with these quiz results;  it's always been one of my favorite dishes, not only at Thanksgiving but for any other meal.

It's a shame there are SO many carbs in the dish - carbohydrates raise my blood sugar higher than does a candy bar. -sigh-  It's not worth the spike in blood sugar for me to fix them as much as I'd like, but I do keep a pkg. of instant potatoes on hand most of the time, splitting it into several servings, doling myself out a tiny portion when the craving gets too great.

You Are Mashed Potatoes

You are easygoing and content all year long - especially during Thanksgiving.   How could you not be content with all of the delicious comfort food served up this time of year? You ignore holiday stress and drama. You focus on what's important... filling up on delicious food! You like an uneventful holiday that's pretty predictable. That may be boring, but boring can be good.

What Thanksgiving Dish Are You?

Mashed Potato Time - Dee Dee Sharp 

 

Dirty Laundry - Don Henley

This song describes the media thirsting after the blood that was shed.

 "If it bleeds, it leads."

Bionic Assessment Test

See What You're Made Of - Visit The Official Site

Skip the intro. if you like.

I really sucked at this; there's a typing sort of test, but mine wouldn't work, so I got a zero for that portion.

I'm 100% flesh & blood, except for my head...that's made of wood.

Mosquito Ringtones

From the site:

What is the Mosquito Ringtone?

The short version, A tone outside the audible range of hearing for most people over the age of 30. This means that you can get phone calls and receive text messages in class or school without teachers hearing it.

Mosquito Ringtones

Lots of other fun stuff on the site; mosquito games, printable mosquito coloring pages even some variants of the mosquito ringtones available for download.  One useful thing is the Hearing Test.

When I first came across this site, I thought "Oh, I bet my hearing is still pretty good...I certainly don't have "old" ears." I was wrong; I couldn't hear the upper ranges of the tones and after checking out the Hearing Test, I was dismayed to find that the only sounds I could clearly hear were the 10000 and 8000 Hertz Tones.

Dismayed, but not totally surprised. After the years of working on extremely loud drilling rigs, some hearing loss is to be expected. Up until a few years ago, I suffered from Tinnitus but that's gone away to where it's nearly unnoticeable. (I think getting control of my blood sugar has something to do with it, but I'm not sure.)There were times, however, during the dead of night it was maddening.

So, I guess I DO have "old ears".  I might not be able to hear like the young whippersnappers, but I bet most of them can't wiggle my ears like I can!

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EDIT TO ADD: I had several tabs open and before closing the Hearing Test tab after posting, I tried a few more frequencies; I could barely hear some of the others, then thought to check my volume control.

Duh.  I had it turned down quite a bit while listening to online radio earlier. I could clearly hear the 14000 Hertz Tone. I can barely hear the next one, but not well enough to use it as a ring tone.  I don't need a ring tone anyway...don't have a cell phone, for one.  No one ever calls me, so I hardly need a land line except for my DSL. 

Anyway, good news and bad news:  the good news is my hearing isn't as bad as I thought it was.  The bad news?  Not checking my volume control means my mind is slipping.

Breaking Bad

I'm sitting here, whiling away the hours until the newest episode of Breaking Bad airs tonight by listening to the first episodes of the last season which are on the TV behind me.  Listening, because I've seen them and I'm on the 'net, reading any articles I can find about the award-winning series.  I want some clue, some insight as to how the last shows will play out.

WARNING:  If you haven't seen any of the show and intend to, then quit reading now.  I won't reveal everything that happens on the show, but have to mention an important part that explains what led me away from the show and what led me back to it.

I started watching Breaking Bad when it first started, but early in the series I grew extremely uncomfortable with the storyline.  The episode that made me turn away was the one where Walter White has a drug dealer named Krazy-8 tied up in his basement and is conflicted about what he will do with him.  White talks with the drug dealer, more-or-less bonding over shared interests and decides he can't kill him and goes to get the key to release him.  When White realizes Krazy-8 has hidden a shard of glass in order to kill him, White has no choice but to kill his hostage.

What made me so uncomfortable was my own thinking, thinking that agreed with Walter White's decision to murder the dealer in cold blood.  White had been a sympathetic character until that moment and he truly hadn't got to the point of "breaking bad" until then.  What disturbed me was how I also saw there was no other way to resolve the situation and I agreed with his actions.   In other words, I saw a part of Walter White in me and I couldn't stand knowing that about myself.  I quit watching the series then.

Now, I'm not saying I would ever have started manufacturing meth, but I certainly understood how quickly good intentions can turn to bad.  After all, the road to hell is paved with them.  You can't play a game with the devil because the stakes are your soul.

A season or two went by and one night when there was nothing else on (or the Cowboys were playing poorly, I can't remember) I tuned in the show again. I was a little confused at how the plot was progressing, so I searched online and found the Breaking Bad Wiki site and got up to speed. The shows were thrilling to say the least and I regretted my quitting watching. Since that time, I've watched all the episodes on AMC or at other sites (I'd rather not link to). I found forums that discussed the motivations of the characters, the tiny details I had missed - the hidden meanings in colors and plot points I had overlooked and while I knew the writing was brilliant, I now think it's nothing short of genius.

I'm having a hard time waiting on the end to begin. What will be the ultimate result? The writers have left clues, but nothing definitive, at least not to me, not now, but I expect that after the end credits roll on the last show it will all become clear.

' 55 Mercury ( "Honeymoon Merc")

This car belongs to a Mr. Jimmie M. Clark here in Pampa who also happens to be a long-time family friend. (That might be presumptuous of me, but he stated he knew my grandfather and is also a friend of my uncle. Any connection to me should NOT be held against Mr. Clark. -grin-)

Mr. Clark also owns a '57 Bel Air convertible, featured earlier.

At first glance, it looks boxy and nothing like the sleek styles of today, but I'm so glad I gave it some good attention.

(click any pic f/ larger view)

In 1958, Mr. Clark was a young man in the Army, based at Fort Polk in Louisiana. On his last leave before being discharged that fall, he took a bus to Houston and saw this car and bought it on the spot for $950.00.

You can see a doofus taking a photo of that photocopy of the invoice and cancelled check posted on the inside of the window.

(I told Mr. Clark that I wouldn't post that last photo as it had personal info. on it. "I don't care." he declared. "That's not my p.o. box number anymore, go ahead!" )

I like this shot, it's as if the car is smiling, enjoying the attention. It sure attracted a lot of admirers and I had a hard time, especially later in the day, taking unobstructed photos of any car being shown.

The KFC bucket is for donations to the Coffee Memorial Blood Center; you voted for each vehicle with money.

Back to the story: Mr. Clark came back home after his stint with Uncle Sam, and while riding around town in his "new" car, he met his lovely wife-to-be and married her a few years later. (and she's STILL lovely because Mr. Clark also brings along a photo album and will show you her pictures, both then and now. I don't blame him; I'd be proud of her, too)

I had been up at the show earlier and taken some photos, then came home and transferred them to my computer. When I saw the next shot, framed without any intention, I knew I had to go back up there and tell him of the great "accidental" shot I had taken with the Mercury sign in the background.

The car is lovely, but I'm particularly attracted to the bumper, so solid...simple, yet elegant. The hooded headlights also are like sleepy eyes above the "grin" of the bumper, making the car seem to be alive.

I almost expected it to wink at me.

If you've got the time, Mr. Clark will tell you that he took his new bride to Colorado for their honeymoon back in 1960 in this car. He'll show you photos of the car back then, shoe polish messages scribbled all over it (horrible to think of that NOW!) and the obligatory tin cans tied on the rear bumper.

I can just imagine her sitting close to him on this wide front seat on their trip to the mountains.

Thanks to the new innovative automatic transmission, the "Merc-O-Matic", the proud groom could keep his new bride...now Mrs. Clark... snuggled close with his free hand!

Mr. Clark drove the car nearly every day from the time he bought it until '73, then he garaged it until 1991 when he started restoring it, a job that took six years.

He then took his wife on a second honeymoon back to the very spot they had stayed on their first, driving this same vehicle, now beautifully restored. He had a photo of the old motor lodge where he and his bride had stayed the first night, closed and run-down. He said it was now demolished.

Plenty of room in this trunk for a bride's trousseau!

(Heck, it's big enough to HAVE a honeymoon in! *grin*)

Mr. Clark said he once had some different fender skirts for it, but these are lovely. I wrenched my back getting up from this shot.

Love the whitewalls! The hubcaps have the god Mercury on them.

A lovely old car.

(as old as ME *sniff* and in much, much better shape! *sigh*)

One of the best hood ornaments ever created!

The car was featured in some auto magazine, a copy of which Mr. Clark has in the window:

There's one photo I wish I had taken; Mr. Clark's 92 yr. old mother had tatted a beautiful doily for the back seat. You can make it out in the frontal shots posted above if you'll view the large versions.

Hope you enjoyed this! This has been one of my most favorite posts I've done since starting this blog!

Silly Squirrel Story

I belong to an MSN photography Group, the highest ranked one in the category. In this recent thread

(edit to add: link removed because it is no longer valid as MSN Groups were discontinued several years ago) is a pretty good shot of a squirrel that made me think of how my folks loved to watch the squirrels in their back yard, putting out peanuts and not even caring (too much) that the tree rodents cute, loveable creatures also ate their birdfeeder empty. I believe my big sister has problems with that and has tried all the gadgets/gimmicks to keep them out of her bird feeders.

It also reminded me of a friend of my dad's; they had a lovely, shady place right on the creek and the century old cottonwoods were full of squirrels. We were down there late one summer afternoon and our family friend was showing my pop how the squirrels would come when he called them. He took a nut from his shirt pocket and tapped on the tree, making some "tik-tik" sounding call.

Sure 'nuff, here came a squirrel from a hole in the trunk of the tree; this man backed up to the tree and the squirrel jumped to his shoulder and took the nut from his hand. I was about ten yrs. old or so, and I thought it was SOOOOOO cool looking, that squirrel sitting there munching away on the nut held between its two tiny paws. It ate the meat, cast away the bits of shell after it was done, then to my amazement, climbed face down into the guy's pocket and nabbed another nut! Again, it perched nonchalantly on his shoulder and ate.

"I got almost all of 'em like this 'un here." said dad's friend, and at the same time, rubbed his nose with his forefinger, making an audible inhaling "Sniff". It was an odd mannerism he had, one my dad always said prefaced a bald-faced lie.

I think there was some validity to my dad's theory- after all, most Texans, myself included, are known to sometimes stretch the truth...but maybe not THIS time, because the squirrel, apparently frightened by the sudden movement of the finger, PLUS the "sniff" (which, come to think of it, would be more like a backwards "snort") sound rewarded my dad's friend with a quick, hard bite on his earlobe, which then sprang off his shoulder and scampered back up the tree.

Let me tell you something and take it to heart: If I ever obeyed anything that my dad told me, it was to respect my elders, the "seen, not heard" type of child and not speak unless... yada yada yada. It's not a bad thing, and I don't resent it. I still try to respect my elders, but there's getting to be fewer and fewer of them.

The thing I remember most about this long ago scene is not the squirrel bite, nor our family friend's reaction, but my own. I KNEW I shouldn't laugh, but Lord help me, I was having trouble. I alternated between my face splitting open like a watermelon in the August sun and doing my best to show the proper amount of concern, lest I embarrass the adult. After all, the ear was bleeding "like a stuck hog" and blood was staining his shirt. I'm sure it hurt, but the expression on his face wasn't one of pain, but something like the shock of betrayal.

MY ears were hurting trying to hold back my grin. You know what I'm talking about, it's almost like a funky little earache, you know you can't laugh, it's like you get a small shot of helium gas in those lymph glands, the mumps ones, they start to tingle. It's a warning sign you're about to explode with laughter. You want to laugh SO bad. It's like when someone farts in church, y'know?

When my dad started laughing like an idiot, I figured it was safe for me to laugh, too.

So Far, a Lucky Week

This just hit my email inbox:

I forget why I entered the contest; I'm sure the Grand Prize was something I really wanted or I wouldn't have made the effort. A magazine subscription isn't too bad of a consolation prize - I love to get magazines and after reading, they're good to line my trashcan with or to tear pages out of and put under the Beej's water and feed bowls. I used to take my old magazines to the laundromat but they would get stolen within the day.

It's been a fairly lucky week for me; I won this magazine subscription, fifty extra points for correctly answering the movie trivia question at StartSampling and last night I won $12 on the Powerball lottery.

It was also a very lucky week for some young punk in a red car.  I was out earlier and about to turn onto a busy street.  The light was red and there was a car ahead of me.  I started slowing as I normally do, easing to a stop. (saves gas, saves brake wear) There wasn't but a few car lengths between me and the other vehicle when the red car zoomed around me and cut in front.  I had to slam on my brakes to avoid slamming into the car.  I saw him glancing in his rear-view mirror and I gave him the bird.  He didn't look back again.  I was itching for a fight- he had scared me and that just about makes me angrier than anything else.

As we sat there waiting for the light, I got more angry.  He wasn't saving any time, he had to wait anyway.  When the light changed, he sped off, zipping from lane-to-lane w/out signalling. He also ran a yellow light when he got to the next intersection and turned. 

I wasn't in a very good mood, anyway.  I had tried to drop off my vehicle insurance payment last week, but there was a sign on the office door "Be Back Soon". I went back by several times, but there was no one there.  I put the check and invoice on the passenger seat and forgot about it.  When I got in my truck earlier, I noticed it and remembered that it was due tomorrow.  I got to the insurance office and saw the same sign on the door.  I went to the Dollar Store, did a little shopping and dropped back by only to see the business was still closed.  I killed a little more time and went back - the sign was still up, the door still locked.

Fuming, I went home and called the after hours number listed on the door.  Nothing.  I then called the regular number and a woman answered.  I told her I had been trying to bring my payment by and wanted to make sure someone was there to take it.  "Oh, I stepped out for a little while." she told me.  Yeah, a week is a "little while" I thought, but didn't say it.  She then informed me that the boss was gone, had been for a week.  That made sense then - she was enjoying her four hour lunch breaks.   She's lucky I didn't lose my temper with her.  She's even luckier I didn't have to file a claim for rear-ending that red car.

I'm lucky to win the few things I have this week.  To be honest - I'm even more lucky I haven't stroked out.   I seem to be getting more and more angry at things here lately.  I got a little angry earlier at a reply to my license plate post on Facebook.  An old friend and schoolmate wrote "Why would I want a license plate with 'Mike' on it?"  It shouldn't have, but it hit me wrong.  I started to reply "Well, it would be just as well....'smartass' wouldn't fit."  I've been a little snarky on Facebook myself lately, though, and didn't want to be a hypocrite.

To top all that off, the stray cat I've been feeding has been in heat. (I thought she was pregnant, but she is just fat.  I've cut back on her food- all she gets is B's leftovers now) I love cats, but the only thing more disgusting than the smell of cat urine is a female cat in heat.  Thanks to her "condition", there has been a dozen tomcats hanging around.  I've been woken up a dozen times  this week by the caterwauling;  it's either her and a male cat or two males dueling for her affections.  I've discovered one thing about cats;  you can't tell whether they're fightin' or foolin' around by the sounds they're making. 

It would probably help a great deal if I quit frequenting political forums.  If the Republicans nominate Gingrich, then they will have to give up the "party of family values" label they brag about.  If they nominate Santorum, then they'll lose any chance of getting a gay person to vote for them ever again. Both of them are a little...let's say "ethically challenged".  The Republicans definitely need to stop touting that they're for limited govt. and need to quit pretending they're conservative. (and the TEA Party has allowed itself to be hijacked by the neocons) I'm lucky I'm too old for the draft, because we'll need one for the war machine if we take on Iran.

I know I lowered my blood pressure at least fifty points by not reading posts in Dallas Cowboy forums.  The "Tony Homo" posts infuriated me.  Probably Santorum supporters.

Embedding a YouTube Video

May Cost You a Bundle in ASCAP Bills

Fresh off a court victory against Google's YouTube, ASCAP tells us it is setting its sights on users of the video-sharing site. Welcome to the exciting world of copyright licensing, blogger; you may already owe gobs of money!

ASCAP licenses the performance rights for music, collecting royalties for its songwriter members when their songs are played in certain contexts.

Those contexts now include a YouTube video embedded on your blog or website, assuming your site is not "purely" non-commercial and is deemed large enough by ASCAP. The group just sent a collection letter to internet entrepreneur Jason Calacanis (pictured) for YouTube videos embedded on his Mahalo reference site. Based on what the group told Valleywag, other startups should be worried:

"ASCAP does not offer licenses to – or require licenses from – those who simply make their personal blogs available on purely noncommercial Web sites. Mahalo.com is a larger venture than simply a personal blog, and therefore ASCAP is engaged in discussions with Mr. Calacanis concerning the use of ASCAP members' music on the site."

ASCAP sent collection letters to other website owners in the spring; YouTube told recipients to refer the group back to YouTube. But then a judge ruled Google owed ASCAP $1.6 million while a court fight between the two sides over licensing drags on. At some point, website owners are going to start wondering how much longer Google will offer to handle all the legal complaints over YouTube embeds — and just how many songs they've embedded over the years and now owe royalties on.

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I'm not worried; they can't get blood out of a turnip, and my own defense would be this: How am I to know whether someone posting a YT vid has permission or not?

YouTube does a pretty good job of policing this stuff as seen in so many videos I've posted being taken down.

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You Tube has this to say:

There have been a few questions in the forum regarding ASCAP and we wanted to provide our perspective on the issue. We have become aware of yet another misguided effort on the part of ASCAP to double dip--this time by pressuring third-party websites which embed YouTube videos to pay royalties to ASCAP. We believe there is no legal basis for ASCAP's position because YouTube itself is currently licensed by ASCAP pursuant to its application made under the antitrust consent decree that governs ASCAP's operations. The license requested by YouTube covers all US public performances of ASCAP music in YouTube videos from YouTube's servers all the way through to the end user, regardless of whether a third-party website is embedding the YouTube player. We believe that YouTube has already cleared any necessary public performance rights for US playbacks of ASCAP songs, and ASCAP's attempt to collect an additional payment from another party for the very same stream is not credible.

Regards,

YouTube Team

Horse Laughs

I had been driving for a couple of hours and had consumed about two liters of water. Do I need to draw you a picture? Something had to be done. Quickly.

I went down a deserted road on the outskirts of town and pulled off behind a small stand of mesquite trees and got out. I had no more got started when I heard a deep voice say:

"Y'know, if you were in the city limits that'd be indecent exposure, I'm only eight years old...yuk yuk yuk."

I turned around and saw THIS!



Frightened, I staggered backwards against my truck.

"Better zip 'er up there, Wilbur." said the horse with an insultive nicker.



"Uh, wasn't quite done here, pal." I retorted.

Quicker than you could flick your tail came the rejoinder:

"Potty blush?" smirked the wise-cracking horse.

"OK Bashful...I'll turn my head, water that yucca while yer at it."



We chatted a while, then I told him I wanted to take some photos of him for my friend Barb who loves horses. He agreed, but then did some bad accents "N' Ham-shya", some snide cracks about Yankee liberals being the real horse's as...well, let's just say he was smarmy. Totally uncalled for.

He then started out on some darned life history thing, frankly it was quite boring and really unbelieveable, some blathering boasts about "Apaloosa/Arabian blood", quarterhorse this, quarterhorse that and some BS about a great great great grandfather coming in second at the Preakness, but you know... I've heard it all on the 'net, and besides, I know how Texans are about braggin', especially when he started talkin' smack about being bigger/ better/stronger/faster and much much prettier than Trigger or Silver.



I asked him if he was that rare Polka-Dot breed but he ignored me.

"Say," asked the horse. "Heard any good horse jokes lately?"



I'm clever and quick-witted, too.

"Well..."I said "A horse walks into a bar..."

" 'Why the long face?' " came the rude interruption.

He kept rubbin' it in:

" Yeah, first time I heard THAT one I was a colt, sheesh."

He snickered and stuck out his tongue. Like I said, rude.



"Heard this one?" he asked.

"A cowboy goes into a bar, has a beer, walks outside and finds his horse has been stolen. He walks back into the bar, fires his gun through the ceiling. "Which one of you mothers stole my hoss?" he yells. No one answers. "All right, I’m gonna have one more beer and if my hoss ain’t outside by the time I finish, I’m gonna do what I dun in Texas." He drinks another beer, walks outside, and his horse is back. So he gets on it and gets ready to ride out of town. The bartender walks out of the bar and asks, "Say pardner, what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turns to him, and says, 'I had to walk home.' "

"No." I told him "Wished the hell I hadn't heard it, either."

Nonplussed and with a few shakes of his ears and a swish of his tail to shoo the flies, he went on in rapid fire:



What does it mean if you find a horse shoe?
Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.
*****
What did one horse say to the other horse?
The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane.
*****
What are the only animals to sleep with their shoes on?
A horse, of course!
*****
How many horses have three legs?
They all do!
*****
What breeds of horses can jump higher than a house?
All breeds. Houses don't jump.
*****
A man rode into town on June 3rd, stayed a week, and rode out on June 3rd. How is this possible?
His horse's name was June 3rd.
*****
How do you make a small fortune in the horse industry?
Start with a large fortune.
*****
What animal has more "hands" than feet?
Why, a horse, of course!
*****
What is the best type of story to tell a runaway horse?
A tale of WHOA!
*****
How long should a horse's legs be?
Long enough to reach the ground.
*****
When do vampires like horse racing?
When it's neck and neck.
*****
Where do horses stay in a hotel?
In the bridle suite.
*****
What did the waiter say to the horse?
I can't take your order. That's not my stable.
*****
What's the quickest way to mail a little horse?
Use the Pony Express.

Seriously, they weren't all that funny to ME, but he sure was laughin' at his own dumb jokes.



"Henny Youngman you ain't." I snorted.

I kept on the attack.

"What's with the peculiar laugh? Or is that your 'braying jackass' imitation?"

"Keep your day job." I advised.

And once again, he was rude.

Sorry, but I just don't get that sort of comedy.

diatribe

diatribe \DAHY-uh-trahyb\, noun:
a bitter verbal attack or speech

---

I see diatribes all over the 'net these days; oh, I've seen them before, but not nearly as much as now. They're not verbal (unless they're on YouTube) but I think the term still applies to these posted rants.

I don't join in on them much these days...blood pressure, you see.

What Flavor Kit Kat Are You?

You Are a Dark Chocolate Kit Kat

You are a passionate and quick-tempered person. You know what you love, and you know what you hate. You are very competitive and even a bit ruthless when you need to be. You have what it takes to get ahead. You are a daredevil that loves to take risks. You pride yourself on your courageousness, and you love to test your own limits. You have a real flair for adventure - and it starts with being impulsive. You do what you feel like, and you often feel like flying solo.

What Flavor Kit Kat Are You?

Not to wax philosophic about candy, but these results are spot-on...well, maybe I'm flattering myself a little bit...although I do like the regular milk chocolate ones, as well. Dark chocolate is supposed to be better for you, I've read.

They're just about my favorite candy bar. I don't think I ate them much until I saw Richard Simmons being interviewed and he was asked how to deal with chocolate cravings. He said he liked Kit Kats because he could open one up and eat just one segment and satisfy his craving. I was thinking "Yeah, right. Don't think I could stop at one little piece." and he added that he sometimes ate the whole thing. He went on to say that they were fairly low in fat compared to other candy bars.

These days I'm not so much worried about the fat than I am the grams of sugar, but it doesn't seem to affect my glucose levels as much as other sweets and doesn't even come close to what rice or pasta does to my blood sugar.