Damn Ham

Shortly after Thanksgiving, I was shopping in the grocery store closest to my house. I pushed my cart through the meat section, looking for sales on my favorite lunch meats, hamburger, etc. when I noticed they had hams on sale. They weren't "real" hams, but those pressed lumps of pork, usually with a fair amount of gristle.

Now, I don't eat a lot of pork. I like it, but for various reasons I try to avoid it. Oh, I'll get bacon or sausage on the rare occasion when I eat breakfast at a nearby cafe, but I don't normally buy it. I try to buy chicken or beef hot dogs and about the only time I'll eat a wiener made w/ pork is when I buy a corn dog from the convenience store. I don't REFUSE to eat pork, but like I said, I just don't eat much of it.

So, when I saw those hams, I started to walk on by, but I stopped. The price was certainly good: $5.99. I hadn't seen them so cheap for years. About ten years ago or so, I practically lived on those things. (one of the reasons I don't eat much pork) At the time they were five bucks and one of them made meals for a week or more. That was nice, but ham sandwiches twice a day made me start to dislike them.

Still, a ham sandwich DID sound pretty good, so I bought one and took it home. I unwrapped it, cut off the "rind" and cut that up for the stray cat that hangs around, then thinly sliced enough off for a fat sandwich. I slathered two slices of of my double-fiber bread (I hardly ever eat more than one slice/day because of the carbs) with salad dressing, sliced up a tomato and made a sandwich that would have made Dagwood jealous.

It was delicious! So, for the next week I had a ham sandwich every day. When I reached the end of the meat, I went back to the store to see if they had more. They did - they must have over-ordered too many for the holidays. I had more ham sandwiches. I ran out again the other day, went back to the store and bought yet another one. I was a little worried about eating too much bread, so I ate ham on crackers, diced it up with beans, nibbled on a slice without anything else just for a snack. It tasted SO good, even if it wasn't a "real" ham.

Then the other day I stepped on my scales. I read the number, then thought I'd better take off my shoes and hoodie I was wearing because that weight COULDN'T be right! I stepped back on the scales and saw that the items of clothing I had taken off hadn't helped much...I was ten lbs. heavier than I had been just a few weeks ago!

Just polished off the last of the ham for a midnight snack. I think I've hammed it up enough. Tomorrow I start on a diet. -sigh- Damn ham.

Best Slam Ever!

There's a time for snark and there's a time to just not say anything if you can't say something positive.

An Amarillo news outlet's Facebook page posted a link to a horrifying article:

Texas online editor walks into plane propeller

Lauren Scruggs, 23, landed at Aero Country Airport -- off Virginia Parkway -- about 9:30 p.m. after viewing North Texas Christmas lights from a small, private airplane.

The prop struck her upper body, according to her friend Janeé Harrell, resulting in a skull fracture, severe facial cuts and the amputation of her left hand, among other injuries.

There were several comments wishing the injured woman well, but as is far-too-often the case, there were some cruel and thoughtless posts, too. (One said "She's a blonde!") Someone wrote they couldn't understand how this could happen and I wrote:

One of the posters who had the poor taste to make a crude comment then made this reply to another person criticizing her for her comment, then someone else replied to her with the best slam I've read on the 'net in a long, long time.



Yep, that described her to a "Tango".

French Toast & Fresh Tears

Earlier today I followed a link in my reader to a recipe site post about French toast. I didn't learn anything; the post was about how good the ends of a loaf of bread were for that dish, but a single sentence about her mother eating the ends of the bread because her kids wouldn't eat them touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes.

Moms make sacrifices all the time, both big and small. I didn't realize it at the time, being a self-centered child, but my mom sacrificed so much for her kids. I couldn't even begin to list the things she gave up so my sisters and I could have a better life...and there were probably hundreds more I never knew about.

I sure miss my momma. I’d give half the rest of my life to have her back for just one day.

You Don't Have to Spell 'Em

To have 'em, I suppose.

This screenshot is from the Facebook page of an Amarillo media outlet. The subject was mandatory testing for AIDS and as is usual with controversial topics, there was plenty of outrage...and "moral" superiority.

The names were blacked out because...well, I'm pokin' fun at 'em.

I had "some" Moriales once...Rosa, think her first name was.  She didn't give me AIDS, just a little something penicillin cured right up.

Just kidding, but the real joke was the self-righteous attitudes, one lecturing on "moriales" and the other calling the first one out, not realizing she was nearly as bad as the first - and making a spelling error, too.

I Found My Thrill

With a blueberry spill.

Went out to WalMart yesterday evening; I'd been having problems with the sound on my computer and finally figured out it had to be my headphones. I really don't like to get out and waste gasoline on a single item, so I gave a quick thought to what else I needed at WM.

Got there, got my headphones (no inexpensive ones in the headphone section, but there was a greater selection in the mp3 player aisle, go figger)then went shopping for the other items I intended to purchase: dry cat food, tuna, bread and I also wanted to price small coffee makers or a french press if they had one.

I got the things I needed, then since I was near the bakery dept. on my way out, I decided I'd go look at and smell of the donuts. (was tempted to buy a half dozen, but didn't!) As I was making my way towards the check-out counters, I went by the produce section. For some reason, WalMart usually doesn't have as low prices on produce as does my grocery store, but I noticed blueberries at a decent price, so I stopped, grabbed one of the "clam shell" packages to look at the berries. I like to inspect not only where they're from (I don't buy produce from Mexico) but also check to make sure there aren't many broken or off-colored berries. They're too expensive to buy rotten ones.

As I turned the pkg. over to look at the bottom berries, the top gave way and berries went everywhere! To make matters worse, at the same time a man in a wheelchair passed by, crushing berries as he went. I hastily said I was sorry, briefly thought about trying to pick up the berries - some of which had rolled 15-20 ft. away - then did like a kid who had just hit a baseball through a window and skeedaddled after grabbing another pkg. (I didn't inspect this one)

I picked the closest cash register and started checking out. From my vantage point, I could see a produce dept. employee standing there, hands on his hips, shaking his head with a scowl on his face. I really wanted to go over to apologize, but that wouldn't have put the berries back in the box and I was afraid I might be banned from the store.

Oh well. At least I got some blueberries for my oatmeal. I'm a little leery of karma though and am afraid one will get lodged in my windpipe.

---

Blueberry Hill - Fats Domino

Spam: The Story of my Life

Checked my email first thing this morning, read the mails, cleaned out the spam, then did my regular rounds. After an hour or so, checked my Gmail acct. again and saw quite a bit of spam in the folder.

How do they know so much about my life?

I used the black dating service and met a lovely young woman. She loved to prance around only in her bra, which necessitated me getting some extra testosterone, even though I really just wanted to watch my new satellite TV. To be honest, I'm not sure my heart can take all these extra hormones and lovemaking.

Buying all that underwear made me have to get a new job, so I found a job on weekends making graphics for websites. The stress of the extra job made me start drinking, then I lost my part-time job AND my regular job and had to declare bankruptcy.

I love my new girlfriend, but I'm not so sure she loves me back. I just found out she had taken out a million dollar life insurance policy on me...and bought some more sexy bras.

Chile in Texas

From Wiki:

The flag of the U.S. state of Texas is similar to the Chilean flag, which was created and introduced 21 years before that of Texas.



The national flag of Chile is also known as la estrella solitaria which is Spanish for "the lone star". The star represents a guide to progress and honor; blue symbolizes the sky and the Pacific Ocean, white is for the snow-covered Andes, and red stands for the blood spilled to achieve independence.

The Texas flag



Also from Wiki:

The Texas flag is known as the "Lone Star Flag". This flag was introduced to the Congress of the Republic of Texas on December 28, 1838, by Senator William H. Wharton. It was adopted on January 25, 1839 as the final national flag of the Republic of Texas.

When Texas became the 28th state of the Union on December 29, 1845, its national flag became the state flag. While the Lone Star remained the de facto state flag, from 1879 until 1933 there was no official state flag. All statutes not explicitly renewed were repealed under the Revised Civil Statutes of 1879, and since the statutes pertaining to the flag were not among those renewed, Texas was formally flagless until the passage of the 1933 Texas Flag Code. The code assigns the following symbolism to the colors of the Texas flag: blue stands for loyalty, white for purity, and red for bravery.