Here lately my spam folder has been deluged with more of what I call "wanna hook up?" scam emails. I've been deleting them because they're basically all the same and don't have photos with them as have the others I've posted here on my blog. It's a lot easier to poke fun at them when there's a (fake) face behind the (fake) name.
That said, I happened to open this one up instead of deleting it; here's what it said:
Simona Viola fwuinbhcpr@wellfs.com
Meow honey,
I saw your photo in the social network and realized that we live in the same town.
How about spending a couple of hot weekends together and having fun without any needless questions? ;-)
(URL removed)
With kisses,
Simona Viola
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Simona Viola have sent you this message via Private Network.
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or write to:
233Main Street #234
Isla-Colon
Bocasdel-Toro, Republic of Panama
I'm not going to write her back, but if I did it would be something like this:
Dear Simona,
In the first place, I don't belong to any social networks besides Facebook and Twitter...and I don't even check my Twitter account.
What's up with the "meow honey" salutation? I like cats, but if I'm scratched by one around here, I can always put a little alcohol on the wound. You'd probably give me something penicillin couldn't cure. Is that supposed to be some sort of veiled reference to what you're offering me? I guess so, what with wanting to spend a "couple of hot weekends together". There'd have to be a question or two I'm sure, such as "How much do you charge?" and "Did you see my specially made condom I brought? You know, the one made from a truck tire inner tube."
Also, the last I checked, the town I lived in was in the Panhandle of Texas, not in Central America. Panama, huh? I thought ships entered the canal, not you.
Sorry, Simona, I think I'll have to pass. I might be stupid when sizing up women, but I know Shinola from Viola.
That said, I happened to open this one up instead of deleting it; here's what it said:
Simona Viola fwuinbhcpr@wellfs.com
Meow honey,
I saw your photo in the social network and realized that we live in the same town.
How about spending a couple of hot weekends together and having fun without any needless questions? ;-)
(URL removed)
With kisses,
Simona Viola
-----------------
Simona Viola have sent you this message via Private Network.
If you would like to stop receiving notifications from our members,please go here.
(URL removed)
All unsubscribe requests are handled promptly.
or write to:
233Main Street #234
Isla-Colon
Bocasdel-Toro, Republic of Panama
I'm not going to write her back, but if I did it would be something like this:
Dear Simona,
In the first place, I don't belong to any social networks besides Facebook and Twitter...and I don't even check my Twitter account.
What's up with the "meow honey" salutation? I like cats, but if I'm scratched by one around here, I can always put a little alcohol on the wound. You'd probably give me something penicillin couldn't cure. Is that supposed to be some sort of veiled reference to what you're offering me? I guess so, what with wanting to spend a "couple of hot weekends together". There'd have to be a question or two I'm sure, such as "How much do you charge?" and "Did you see my specially made condom I brought? You know, the one made from a truck tire inner tube."
Also, the last I checked, the town I lived in was in the Panhandle of Texas, not in Central America. Panama, huh? I thought ships entered the canal, not you.
Sorry, Simona, I think I'll have to pass. I might be stupid when sizing up women, but I know Shinola from Viola.
1 comment:
So funny!! I'm glad you didn't pass up on writing a response to Simona even though she didn't send you a photo.
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