We Screwed Up

Well, yeah. 

From the site:

What has two thumbs and screwed up? Me!!!

We just relaunched and redesigned the website. It was getting old and clunky and it was time for an overhaul. When you move you always end up losing something. I'm sorry you couldn't find what you were looking for but feel free to:

• Visit the Home Page
• Listen to a Podcast
• Watch a Video

I looked for the recipe for chicken hearts I saw on another website, but it's not there.  That's heartless to not include that...or maybe chicken.

Ancient Words For These Times

A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly.

But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself.

 For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men.

 He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murderer is less to fear.

 ~ Marcus Tullius Cicero
Roman Statesman, philosopher and orator (42 B.C)

Hearts Marathon

Well, it took a long time, but I finally managed to complete my 1000-game Hearts marathon.  I regret I didn't note the date I started, but it was over a year ago. (I checked past Hearts posts to estimate,but couldn't find anything)

Going into the last 100 games, I had a winning percentage of 54%, but I had an extremely bad run and wound up, as you can see, at 52%. I tried to play at least one game each day but found myself playing 3-4 or even more once I reached 500 games and started wanting it to just be over.

There were times when I'd start a new game, then catch the Queen of Spades a couple of times in a row or have my quest to Shoot the Moon ruined and be so far behind, I'd just exit and give up on the game.  What was especially maddening was trying to Shoot the Moon and playing the Queen on the very last hand and have two of the other players lay down the Ace and King and spoiling my hand. 

Which leads me to the firm belief that the game "cheats".  Oh, I know it's just a program, but I do think the code for the game has the computer players "collaborating" and it seems the better I'm doing, that's when "they" do it.  As in my example above, it seems most human players would slough off their Ace and King of Spades when they could earlier in the game as so to not catch the Queen. 

Anyway...I think I'm done with Hearts for a while, but I don't think I'll delete the results and start anew.  No, I believe that when I get over my being fed-up with the game, I'll start again from where I left off, maybe extend the marathon to 2500 games!

Bet you can't wait for THAT post, huh?

Amazing in Yellow Trousers

Here's what just hit my spam folder:

And here's the text of the message with the URL removed:

amazing lady!
for  plain-lookin man!
hello I gave a promise you that I will transfer to you my photos.(URL removed) Excuse me possibly i am not wrong. But I met you at  mall. You not forget the woman in yellow trousers. bye

contact@deblock.fr

The source of the mail shows it came from elbe.nexen.net in France.  Looking at websites hosted there, they all seem to be sites that do nothing else but try to scam.

Of course, I didn't reply, but if I COULD speak to the "amazing lady!" I'd say this.

Hello, amazing lady,

It looks like you sent your spam/scam to every "mikein" on the 'net, so I'm sorta thinking it's not all that personal.  First of all, calling me - and all the other Mikes - "plain-lookin man" doesn't seem like that would be the way to win friends.  I'll admit I'm a little plain-lookin, but I'm sure at least a few of the other Mikes are fairly handsome men.  There are probably some that are even more plain than me, bless their hearts.

No, you didn't meet me at the mall.  The one here in town has been closed for over a decade and it's been nearly that long since I went to one in Amarillo, so I don't remember a woman in yellow trousers who promised to transfer her photos.  I'm sure I would remember that, dontcha think?

Amazing lady?  Nah, I don't think so.  I'm sure you're some scammin' Frenchie S.O.B.  Even if you ARE a woman, there's no way you're amazing.  Please don't flatter yourself.

Worm Facts

Earthworms usually have five hearts, but some species can have up to nine. It's called a heart for simplicity, although it is actually an aortic arch. In between each arch is a gland that helps the worm digest calcium, which it gets from eating a lot of dirt.

More earthworm facts: There can more than one million earthworms in just one acre of land. Earthworms contain both female organs, as well as male organs, making them hermaphrodites. The largest earthworm ever recorded was found in South Africa; from its nose to its tail it measured 22 feet long.

(source: Earthworm Facts)

Hard on Hearts

More people have heart attacks on Mondays than on any other day of the week.

Hearts: Round Two

Here's my second go-around of playing a hundred games of Hearts (first one here: Half-Hearted); I did a little better this time.

Now, I'm sure this post doesn't interest many - if any -  of you reading it, and probably is boring to the rest, just as if I were to post about the dreams I have or what I had for supper, but please cut me some slack...you'd pity me if you knew just how boring my life is otherwise. (nearly as boring as my dreams) A close game of Hearts is about as exciting as it gets for me these days. (well, there ARE my thrilling Skip-Bo sessions)

I think I'll give Hearts a rest for a while, maybe have another go at a hundred games during this upcoming winter when it's too cold to do much else.  I'll post about that after I'm done.

Or not.  I may just have some sympathy for the pitifully few readers of this pathetic excuse for a blog.

Strange Hearts

I've been playing another 100 game set of Hearts (see: Half-Hearted) and just finished a game.  It started out with one of my computer opponents "shooting the moon", then I did, then another one did, all in the first three rounds.  I had never seen that before and was thinking "What if the fourth player does it, too?"

A little way into the hand it sure looked that way, but I couldn't be sure;  the computer game isn't like a real-life Hearts game where you can see who is catching all the tricks.  I've sometimes passed up the chance to catch a trick and ruin one of my computer opponent's chances of shooting the moon because I've been so intent upon my own hand I don't pay much attention to which of the others are catching the most tricks. 

This time, however, I was being a little more aware because of the extremely rare way the game was playing out.  Even though I didn't have to, I caught a trick in the middle of the hand and after it was over, saw that it was indeed going to be the fourth-in-a-row shoot the moon...and that it caused me to lose the game by a single point.

Half-Hearted

I think it was sometime in May I decided to see just how good of a Hearts player I was. I've had the game on this and my last few computers, but until I got this PC and game, I never did very well. I can't remember if this game came with the computer or I had to download it (it came with my last couple of computers) but I certainly like this version best of all I've played.

So, I decided I'd get a large enough sample of games to be significant and figured a hundred would be good enough.  As you can see by the screen shot below, I did fairly well, winning nearly half the games.  I had started a few games, then got discouraged or had to do something, so when I closed the program, it counts the game as a loss.  I don't know if I would have won those games or not - probably not, because some of them started out badly, catching the queen right off the bat several hands in a row.

Still, I'm fairly proud to have done so well. In the other Hearts programs, I very seldom won, hardly ever over 25% of the time. That's probably about right for a novice Hearts player such as myself. Still, it seemed as though my three computer opponents "ganged up" on me.  I know it's programming, but I couldn't help but think of the computer players as "real"...but "real" players wouldn't have taken the cursing I gave them like I did my computer opponents. (named Huey, Dewey and Louie)

My better play can also be attributed to my better remembering the cards that have been played, which is one of the most important strategies of Hearts but I also think this version of the game is more "fair".  With this version, the other players will seem to try to keep one of them - and me- from "shooting the moon" and winning all the tricks. With the previous games, it seemed as though I was the only one trying to prevent it. 

Now, you may think a blog post about a computer cards game might be silly and you might think I don't have a life posting about it and playing so many games of Hearts.  You'd be right thinking both.  Need proof?

Previous post about Hearts and another and another

Beat This Fact

Did you know a woman's heart beats faster than a man's? The bigger a person is, the slower their heartbeat. Women are generally smaller, so their heart beats 6-8 beats faster than the average man's heart.

I have known some women whose hearts were made of stone, though.

I ♥ Hearts

After getting a new computer, I've had to d/l my favorite games again. When I was younger, I used to be an arcade freak, but now that I'm older I find I don't care all that much about those sorts of games, even though there are PC versions of most of my favorite ones. No, I have come to love my computer card game versions, such as Hearts.

I've previously posted my best games from my Hearts games on my last computer - I'm sure they were thrilling posts to this blog's readers. I probably won't do that again, but I'm going to post a couple of screen shots from this new version of Hearts. Sorry. This will most likely be a one-time deal.  Maybe not.  I might do an update of my win/loss record after a thousand games;  that will probably be in five years or so.

I really like this new version; I didn't think I would because it, like this computer, was different and I'm getting to the age where I don't really like new things, preferring the things I'm familiar with...broken in and comfortable, like a favorite pair of sneakers. It didn't take long to get comfortable with the new Hearts game and I'm of the mind that it's programmed to be more "fair". (With the last Hearts game it seemed as though I didn't just play the three computer opponents individually, but that they ganged up on me!)

What's really cool about this new version are the sound effects: a little "doom" sound (for lack of a better word) when the queen of spades is played and a breaking glass sound when Hearts are "broken". It also keeps a running tab of how many points you've taken during the trick and you also get a congratulatory message if you catch all the tricks. "You've shot the moon!"

The neatest thing is when you win a game and get all the little floating hearts which explode when they float upwards:

The only thing I wish I could change in it is my player name; it goes by what I named the computer when I first booted it up.  It did allow me to change my computer opponents to Huey*, Dewey and Louie - not from the Disney ducks, but the names of the robots in the old sci-fi flick Silent Running. I really liked that movie and so did my British friend Elle.  It makes me think of her when I play the game.  I also think of my good online friend Barb's dad when I play the game, even though I never met him, but she once told me he loved to play cards and esp. Hearts. 

* I need to change that to the proper spelling.  I always get that wrong when I spell it.

It's also cool that you can save a game and also that it keeps a running count of games played/games won.

I've already played more games than that shows, though, and have won half of the games played.

Yep, getting old. I used to get enthused about going out to the bars and getting drunk or making a road trip on the spur of the moment. Now? I'm happy to play Hearts and listen to online radio.

Choking on Artichokes

A great artichoke post hit my reader earlier:

One Ingredient, Many Ways: Artichokes

I'll have to admit that I was basically unfamiliar with artichokes until a few years ago. Oh, I knew what they were and loved a pasta salad w/ artichoke hearts sold at a local supermarket deli.

So, I never had much experience with them until I dated a woman who cooked me dinner one night - steaks, corn-on-the-cob, baked potatoes and for an appetizer, she prepared an artichoke.  I watched her as she trimmed the leaves, then boiled the thing in a few inches of water. (basically steaming it, she informed me)

She made a couple of dipping sauces;  one was just melted butter and another was made with mayo and some various herbs and a dash of spicy mustard. The artichoke was done, so she put it on a serving platter along w/ the sauces and told me to have at it while she finished the rest of the meal.

Gamely, I snapped off a leaf, dipped it in butter and popped it in my mouth.  I started chewing...and chewing and chewing and chewing.  I chewed until my jaw was aching, then decided to swallow.  It was like swallowing shredded tree bark. (not that I've ever done that, I just imagine it was like that)

I sat there wondering what it was people saw in this particular dish. My gosh, maybe a cow would like it, what with the ability to chew, swallow, then bring it back up to chew some more, just as they do a cud of grass.  I bet grass would be easier to digest than an artichoke leaf.  Thinking that perhaps I had just got a leaf that wasn't cooked through, I popped another leaf off and started chewing on it.  Same thing as before.  This time I didn't attempt to swallow, but got up with the excuse I needed a glass of water (and I did!) but went to the trash and spat out the leaf, making sure she didn't see me.  I went and sat back down, saying nothing.

My lady friend noticed I wasn't eating the artichoke and asked me if there was something wrong with it.  She came over, snapped off a leaf, dipped it in butter, scraped it on her teeth then discarded what was left on an empty plate.  She looked around the table and asked me where my "spent" leaves were.  I told her I hadn't done as she did, but had chewed and then swallowed the entire thing.

She laughed until she was crying.  Then, when she caught her breath, told me that you don't eat the entire thing, but was just supposed to scrape the waxy covering off the leaf, then throw the rest away.

It would've been nice if I had known that before eating the entire leaf.

Sometimes ignorance isn't bliss.  Sometimes it's painful to chew.

Lazy Sunday

I haven't been doing much in this blog - as you can tell, huh? I really haven't felt like it, plus I really need to run a new line to this computer and increase my speed back up to where it's supposed to be. In fact, the snail's pace of my DSL connection has kept me from doing much at all online. I've got some photos to upload, but I don't care to play a half-dozen games of Hearts waiting on the upload and I can forget having more than one or two tabs open at a time. I really enjoy listening to my Launchcast radio, but it takes so long to load the player I've almost given up on that.

Yesterday was really a lazy day for me and other than playing the ToTG Triva Tournament, I didn't check in here, not even to check the visitor stats from either of the "counters" I have. It must have been a lazy Sunday for everyone else because we had the least amount of visitors since I started the blog, unique OR repeat.



Still, there were a few visitors to the Cast Away threads and a couple for my post on "The Short Bus" but I was surprised there was no one checking out "My Sister's Feet" or the Gay Dwarfs.

Best Hearts Game

This is, I think, the best score I've ever had playing this infuriating game.

Honoring September 11th: He Kept Us Safe

John Nolte at Big Hollywood:

My sense that the September 11th attacks would transcend partisan politics lasted less than a few days. That may sound cynical, but after counting myself as one of them for over a decade, I know how the Left thinks and I knew what was coming.

Within days of the attacks, it began. Without a word, those who had endlessly looped the video of the beating of Rodney King stopped airing footage of Americans jumping to their deaths from the burning World Trade Center. Not long after, those who would later sear the images of a few misfits at Abu Ghraib into the hearts and minds of the enemy, began the inevitable murmurs of “being responsible” when it came to airing footage of passenger planes exploding into the towers.

Soon, and predictably, the footage all but disappeared.

Step one at chipping away at our resolve was complete, and all in the name of a few sophisticates doing what was best for us.

What followed was also expected.

The Leftists, these Enablers of Evil, stopped at nothing. Skewed coverage, front-page CIA leaks, taking it to the streets, Hollywood’s unholy brand of patriotism…The list is as endless as the dirty work was relentless. And yet, as they wielded their worst, 50 million people in two countries were liberated and we have not been attacked again … because of something else we’ve come to expect.

The valor and bravery of those charged with keeping us safe: The United States Military, the CIA (especially the interrogators), the FBI, our first responders and finally, something that was not expected…

The mettle of President George W. Bush.

“He kept us safe” is not an argument of last resort after the other side has finished ticking off well-rehearsed talking points, it is why George W. Bush is a great man.

He Kept Us Safe.

And while he did, while the Enemy Within rained hell on him, this uncommonly decent man stood firm as he grew old before our eyes.

Where this country would be had he not possessed such unexpected grit is unthinkable.

And we now know what it is to live with the unease of him not being there.

God bless the men and women who guard the wall. God bless President Bush. God bless the grand and noble experiment that produced them.

Close, but....

At this moment, I'm sitting here listening to online radio, namely the Michael Smerconish Show. (that's his website; I'm listening to AOL Radio which replaced my Yahoo/ATT Launchcast) I wouldn't ordinarily listen to him; he's a blowhard, it's "all about him" and he fills in the time between commercials with plugs for his book. To top all that off, he says he's a conservative Republican, yet admits to voting for Obama. Sheesh. I can listen to liberals, but I don't much care to listen to hypocrites.

I wasn't paying a lot of attention, but instead was concentrating on trying to win the 122,347th game of Hearts I've played, then Smerconish brought up a topic I thought interesting and the show started taking phone calls. The subject was "What president would you most like to play golf with?" One of the first callers brought up Ronald Reagan and I immediately thought you'd have to give him a pretty extreme handicap being as how he's dead and all that. I understood the premise, though, so I played along with the fantasy picks.

My first choice of a president I'd like to play golf with was Eisenhower because I think it'd be cool to talk to him about WWII while we played and one caller echoed my choice. The other presidents named were Bush I and II and someone called in and said "Nixon" because he knew he could beat him. (And the inference was he'd not only beat him in the match, but he'd beat him with his nine-iron. Good Grief, the guy's dead and the hate still lives on)

Another guy called in and named Obama because "I've heard he's honest with his scorecard." I didn't doubt that, but figured you'd never get to see it and you'd also get stuck with the greens fees and the tab from the clubhouse bar...for the next 20 years.

Then some woman calls in and in a gushing voice said she'd LOVE to play golf with Clinton. "I think it's be SO COOL to play a round with him". Hmm, from the sound of her voice, it sounded like "play around with him"....and that's probably what she meant, from the unbridled admiration that came through the speakers. She went on: "I'd love to sit there and smoke a cigar with him, just talk about STUFF!"

Uh, dear heart, I'm sure Mr. Clinton would want to talk about "stuff", probably "your stuff". I also wouldn't take a cigar from him, not in any shape, form or fashion.

Welcome to America!

A big red, white and blue welcome to Alison, my online bud Garazon's betrothed.

Over the last few days, I've been reading his posts in his blog as he counted down the hours unti Alison came over here for good. I've felt like a third-wheel...which I'm used to being...especially when Alison would reply to his public declarations of love for her. I'd post, but would feel like I was intruding!

Bless their hearts, they met several years ago, both of them having lost their spouses and developed their love affair even before they had even met. I know, from personal experience, that you CAN fall in love before even laying eyes on the other person...and actually, I think that might even be better than the proverbial "love at first sight" because you can get to know them without the added pressure of a possible physical affair. (sexual tension, guess it would be)

I had a very good friend I met online, and we developed something similar (I'd like to think) a long time before we ever met in person. My friend (let's call her....oh..."elle") elle and I knew that we had something special because of the thousands of emails and hours we spent chatting on IM.

We never really mentioned "that" until we had decided to meet. At first, I was going to fly to England and we were making plans. I don't know what made me say it (and I don't know why I say a LOT of things) but thinking about the physical part made me nervous and as I do many times, I made a joke out of it.

"Y'know...." I told her late one night while on messenger "It's been a LONG time for me."

"Me too." came the reply.

"It's been a REALLY LONG time." I typed, hoping she'd understand what I meant.

"Me too." came the quick answer.

Good, we were on the same page. I was blushing and there was no one there to see me. I was squirming in my chair, hoping I hadn't been too rude, too presumptious, but even my anxiety didn't stop me from cracking wise.

"It's been so long, honey....well, all I gotta say is you'd better have a mattress strapped to your back when you meet me at the airport."

As soon as I hit "Send" on that last bit, I regretted it. I bet I had crossed the line. I sat there, turning even a more deeper shade of crimson.

It wasn't but a few seconds until her reply came on the screen:

"You'd better be the first man off the plane."

Welcome to America, Alison! Home of hot dogs, apple pie and very bad jokes.

I Gotta Have Hearts

I love to play Hearts. I've never played at any of the online games websites; I wouldn't want to play against "real" people, even if it WAS "only online".

I've had a few perfect games, but this was the very last game I played, not ten minutes ago. I especially love to make ALL of the other "players" break 100 and I did that with this game. It was worth a screenshot.

(I've an online friend who every now 'n then gets a screenshot of an exceptional game from me. She said her late father loved the game and was good at it; I never met the man, but I think of him sometimes when I start to play. Love ya Barb!)

I'm not a great player because I sometimes don't remember the cards that have been played, although I'm getting better. (short-term memory loss, hmmm.....) The game would probably be better if there was some way to view the number of tricks each "player" has. I could better prevent another "player" from catching all the tricks (and there's probably some term for that, but I don't know it; I've never played the game against human opponents)

I say "player" because I am playing against the computer, and I don't know how the game is programmed, but I feel as though it's 3 against 1 sometimes. On a previous computer, I had altered the registry as so when I used some hotkeys, it would reveal the other three's hands.

The names of my opponents aren't from the Disney ducks, but inspired by the 1972 movie Silent Running with Bruce Dern. Dern's character names his helper droids on the greenhouse space station after the Disney characters.

And that would be a rare instance of the use of a second-hand nickname.