A Big Difference

Here lately my spam folder has been deluged with more of what I call "wanna hook up?" scam emails.  I've been deleting them because they're basically all the same and don't have photos with them as have the others I've posted here on my blog.  It's a lot easier to poke fun at them when there's a (fake) face behind the (fake) name.

That said, I happened to open this one up instead of deleting it; here's what it said:

Simona Viola fwuinbhcpr@wellfs.com

Meow honey,

I saw your photo in the social network and realized that we live in the same town.

How about spending a couple of hot weekends together and having fun without any needless questions? ;-)

(URL removed)

With kisses,
Simona Viola
-----------------
Simona Viola have sent you this message via Private Network.

If you would like to stop receiving notifications from our members,please go here.
(URL removed)

All unsubscribe requests are handled promptly.

or write to:

233Main Street #234
Isla-Colon
Bocasdel-Toro, Republic of Panama

I'm not going to write her back, but if I did it would be something like this:

Dear Simona,

In the first place, I don't belong to any social networks besides Facebook and Twitter...and I don't even check my Twitter account.

What's up with the "meow honey" salutation?  I like cats, but if I'm scratched by one around here, I can always put a little alcohol on the wound.  You'd probably give me something penicillin couldn't cure.  Is that supposed to be some sort of veiled reference to what you're offering me?   I guess so, what with wanting to spend a "couple of hot weekends together".  There'd have to be a question or two I'm sure, such as "How much do you charge?" and "Did you see my specially made condom I brought?  You know, the one made from a truck tire inner tube."

Also, the last I checked, the town I lived in was in the Panhandle of Texas, not in Central America.   Panama, huh?  I thought ships entered the canal, not you.

Sorry, Simona, I think I'll have to pass.  I might be stupid when sizing up women, but I know Shinola from Viola.

Potent Patriotic Potables

Did you know the music for The Star-Spangled Banner was originally used for a British drinking song? The song combines Francis Scott Key's poem "Defense of Fort McHenry" and the tune "To Anacreon in Heaven".

 

Gog Bless Us All

This was one of the replies to a post on Facebook about a neighbor's condition;  she recently had heart surgery and was in critical condition, with her kidneys not functioning.   I was glad to see that she's doing much better, but I had to laugh when I saw this.

(I cropped out the poster's name and photo)

I think I would have deleted the post and posted again or at least used the "Edit" feature. Oh well, her heart was in the right place and her sentiments were good, if not her spelling.

hirtellous

hirtellous hir·tel·lous [hur-tel-uhs]

adjective

minutely hirsute.

---

"minutely hirsute". That describes me, to a "T".  I don't have a lot of hair on my head or anywhere else, for that matter.  I saw a gray hair on my chest the other day and pulled it out...and diminished my chest hair by a third when I did.

I may start using 'hirtellous" as a nickname in forums.

Heavy Metal

Did you know "heavy metal" was once used exclusively by the military to indicate something that was heavily fortified by tanks and guns? In 1968, a journalist for Cream magazine used this expression to describe a performance of the band MC5 from Detroit. Soon the same magazine was using the term for many other bands of that era, and it caught on in the broader community.

List of heavy metal bands

I could post any video from any band on that list, but why not use a tune that's ABOUT heavy metal?

Heavy Metal - Sammy Hagar

agita

agita \AJ-i-tuh\ , noun:

1. Agitation; anxiety.
2. Heartburn; indigestion.

---

Nothing a glass of bicarb wouldn't cure...with a Xanax dissolved into it.

Add a little tequila to it and you'd have an Agitarita.