Woman 'bit off boyfriend's tongue'
The article says the couple had gone grocery shopping, got some food, the two bottles of booze, then she wanted a kiss.
Maybe she had left tongue off of the shopping list?
He should've picked up some brains while he was there.
I take these crazy women's names and put 'em in a little black book so I'll know to avoid them in the future. I know, I know, she's way the heck over in England, but that's barely enough space between me 'n crazy women.
Sometimes I will strike up a conversation with a guy and he'll tell me he just got divorced and will elaborate on the crazy stuff she did while/after they were breaking up. I always ask the guy if she's taking her maiden name back and would he please tell me what it is?
They almost always get offended, thinking that I'm going to go after her. They always laugh when I tell them about my "list" I keep and that I want to know what her name is if/when I run into her.
I've dated enough crazy women in my life, far more than my fair share. Some other guy needs to pick up the slack.
March 4, 2009
2 Bottles of Vodka + 1 Kiss =
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I have a carnival funhouse mirror; it doesn't take any weight off of me, but it makes me look goofier than I already am. My non-existent self-esteem can handle it.
I did this to a photo of me, but I don't think it made the pic any lighter.
March 3, 2009
Too Bad
I can't find a girlfriend with this sign:
You Are YIELD |
 When you're confronted with a problem, you slow down and assess exactly what is going on. You don't want to act too quickly, but you will act when you know the coast is clear. You believe that going too fast and going too slow can be equally damaging. You aim to end up somewhere in the middle between recklessness and stagnation. |
March 2, 2009
The Perfect Pancake
Want to know how to make the perfect pancake?
It's easy! (if you're a rocket scientist)
Here's the formula:
100 - [10L - 7F + C(k - C) + T(m - T)]/(S - E)
And the closer you get to a 100 - the better the pancake.
According to the article Formula for perfect pancake unveiled by scientists the complex formula L represents the number of lumps in the batter and C equals its consistency.
The letter F stands for the flipping score, k is the ideal consistency and T is the temperature of the pan.
Ideal temp of pan is represented by m, S is the length of time the batter stands before cooking and E is the length of time the cooked pancake sits before being eaten.
