A man got a job as a night watchman at a factory. There had been a lot of thefts by the workers on the night shift, and so every morning when the night shift workers passed through his gate it was his job to check their bags and pockets to make sure that nothing was being stolen.
Things were going along very well the first night on the job until a man pushing a wheelbarrow of newspaper came through his gate. Aha, he thought, that man thinks he can cover up what he is stealing with that newspaper. So he removed the paper only to find nothing. Still he felt that the man was acting strangely, so he questioned him about the paper.
“I get a little extra money from newspapers I recycle, so I go into the lunchroom and pick up all the ones people have thrown away.” The guard let him pass, but decided to keep a close eye on him. The next night it was the same, and the night after that. Week after week it went on. The same guy would push the wheelbarrow of newspapers past the guard’s checkpoint. The guard would always check and find nothing.
Then one night, about a year later, the guard reported for work only to find a message had been left for him telling him to report to his supervisor. He walked into the supervisor’s office and before he could say a word, the boss said, “You’re fired!”
“Fired?” he asked in total surprise. “Why? What did I do?”
“It was your job to make sure that no one stole anything from this plant and you have failed. So you’re fired.”
“Wait a minute, what do you mean failed. Nobody ever stole anything from this place while I was on guard.”
“Oh, really,” the boss answered. “Then how do you account for the fact that there are over 250 wheelbarrows missing?”
From Bits & Pieces
November 9, 2009
To Catch a Thief
November 7, 2009
Summer Hangin' in There
Was warm Friday, too, but next week's temps will start to slide down.
I'm already ready for spring. Supposed to be a cold, wet winter.
EDIT: Meant to add that yesterday was a record 100yr high. Just a few minutes ago I overheard a conversation at a convenience store between two women:
"My goodness, it certainly was warm yesterday!" exclaimed one woman.
"Yes, a record high!" said the other. "That's from global warming!"
I wanted to butt in and ask what caused the high temp a hundred years ago.
Sheesh, that's just the weather in the Panhandle for ya. It snowed in Amarillo a week or so ago. Guess that's global warming, too.
November 5, 2009
My Brand
I got an email from Marlboro this morning, offering me some coupons and a free tshirt. I don't smoke Marlboros now and give away the coupons they send me, but I'm always up for anything free, especially a free tshirt.
The nifty thing about the free tshirt is that I could create a unique "brand" to print on it.
It's the "Flying 4Q".
November 4, 2009
Obama Weather
From the Weather Channel, an application to advise you as to how Obama would dress if in your city or town.
It's a little chilly here this a.m., so Obama would dress against the wind chill:
Not many people around here wear mufflers, and many around these parts would probably want him to wear it a "bit more snugly" around his neck.
It will be warmer tomorrow, so he would dress accordingly:
Gotta get me some of those cargo shorts.
Obama Weather
In Other Words
I would be an oxymoron.
You Would Be a Smart Celebrity |
 You're already very well read and curious about the world. So why would that change simply because you got famous? If anything, with more money to devote to traveling and charity, you would be even more worldly. Even though you may abhor most celebrity causes, you'd probably have a cause of your own if you were famous. You just care too much not to. You'd be a celebrity in the mold of Angelina Jolie, Gwyneth Paltrow, Brad Pitt, and Matt Damon. |
November 3, 2009
November 2, 2009
I Got a Really Dirty Look
From the checker at WalMart Saturday (Halloween) night.
Hey, I really DID run out of apples and razor blades!
November 1, 2009
Free Gong Button
Not so sure how useful this is unless you want to click the button a few times and then hum AC/DC's "Hell's Bells".
Free Gong Button
November Trivia Tournament Begins!
Congrats to Barb, who won October's tournament!
1. barb (73 points, 13 wins)
2. garazon (66 points, 3 wins)
3. ToTG (62 points, 8 wins)
4. candyfloss (44 points, 6 wins)
Play the ToTG Trivia game!
October 31, 2009
The Candy or Mexican Food?
You Should Give Out Hot Tamales |
 You are a very spicy person, and you always like to put your own little twist on things. You don't just make an appearance. You make an entrance, are the life of the party, and make a lasting impression. You throw caution to the wind and do whatever you're gut is telling you to do. And usually, your gut is telling you to be bold! You may be a little too much to take sometimes, but life would be extremely boring without you. |
One of the questions was what is the worst thing to pass out on Halloween...one of the possible answers was "pennies. (I opted for "religious materials", something sure to get one's house egged, betcha)
"Pennies heated up in a frying pan" shoulda been an option.
October 30, 2009
The Beej IS a Devil
Your Pet Should Be a Devil for Halloween |
 Your pet is wild, out of control, and at times downright destructive. You can't help but wonder if you've adopted a devil. It's likely your pet is simply young or lacking training. But that doesn't mean your pet isn't very evil seeming at times. You love your pet, but he or she can be a real handful. You've learned better than to turn your back. Your pet is very lucky to be so adorable. Your pet is cute enough to get away with murder... and knows it! |
Al Roker's Close Encounter
With an Ewok.
NOTE: This might push the "G" rating of this blog, but it was just too funny to not post.
Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy
October 28, 2009
Color Me Black
Your Name is Black |
 Your name tells people that you are serious and sophisticated. Your name makes you seem like a total mystery. You are elegant and a bit apart from everyone else. You are much more formal than those around you. People see you as smart and together. You also come off as a bit eccentric, and others respect that you are different from them. You can adapt well to most situations, but you never feel like you truly fit in anywhere. |
Paint it Black - The Rolling Stones
October 27, 2009
Something for the guy who has everything
Feeling a little chilly under that stocking cap? Tired of scalp irritation from wearing that fedora? You need an Undercap™! Fits most heads!
October 26, 2009
October 17, 2009
October 16, 2009
October 14, 2009
Andromeda in Ultraviolet
From NASA:
In a break from its usual task of searching for distant cosmic explosions, NASA's Swift satellite acquired the highest-resolution view of a neighboring spiral galaxy ever attained in the ultraviolet. The galaxy, known as M31 in the constellation Andromeda, is the largest and closest spiral galaxy to our own. This mosaic of M31 merges 330 individual images taken by Swift's Ultraviolet/Optical Telescope. The image shows a region 200,000 light-years wide and 100,000 light-years high (100 arcminutes by 50 arcminutes).
Image Credit: NASA/Swift/Stefan Immler (GSFC) and Erin Grand (UMCP)
The US Civil War In 4 Minutes
Sorry, but the video was taken down due to copyright issues. There are short trailers on the 'net, but I couldn't find the full video. You can purchase a copy here.
October 13, 2009
Actually, I'm looking for...
Miss Behaving
You Fall for the Sensitive and Romantic Type |
 You are a bit of an idealist when it comes to love, and you want to be with a partner who appreciates romance as much as you do. You know you've found your soulmate when you're with someone you'd die for. You believe in sacrificing everything for true love, if necessary. A simple "I love you," kiss, or even look can sweep you off your feet. You tend to get lost in the moment. You believe in happy endings, and you're looking for a prince or princess willing to ride off into the sunset with you. |
October 12, 2009
exculpate
exculpate \EK-skuhl-payt; ek-SKUHL-payt\ , transitive verb:
1. To clear from alleged fault or guilt; to prove to be guiltless; to relieve of blame; to acquit.
When I first saw this word, I thought I knew the definition, something to do with legal forgiveness, then the name "John Grisham" popped into my head. I got into a jag of reading legal thrillers several years back, shortly after Grisham's novels became so popular. Exculpate was probably used a few dozen times in all those books.
'The Golden Age of Video' -Ricardo Autobahn
Cool mashup of old and newer movies, some classic (some not) plus short TV clips.
October 11, 2009
Cast Away Count Contest
Just got up from watching the Cowboy game to see what was coming on afterwards, and noticed that "Cast Away" is beginning on the FX Channel now as I type.
I predict there'll be nine hits - or more - on my Cast Away posts. (there was one from Pasadena, CA earlier, about four hours + ago)
Gee, I hope I win something neat-o.
UPDATE:
The movie ended five minutes ago, and a quick count shows 11 hits in the last forty minutes.
World Travel
World Travel
Click as close as possible to locations on the map. The faster the better ... Speed counts!
It was hard for me to suss out the between-question box, but after I got that figgered out, I still didn't do so well.
October 10, 2009
Hair's My Quiz Results
You Are a Mustache |
 You are eccentric and even a bit of a weirdo. You are a bit out of step with the mainstream, and you honestly don't care. You have cultivated some unusual interests and practices. And you definitely have a sense of personal style that's highly unique. You have a bizarre sense of humor. No one ever really gets when you are joking, and you tend to laugh at things that other people don't find funny. You approach the world with sincerity. The problem is, no one else understands that you're being genuine. |
Wow, big surprise considering I've had a moustache pretty much since I turned 18. I bet I haven't shaved it off more than a half-dozen times, and always started growing it again immediately after whacking it off.
October 9, 2009
October 8, 2009
The U.S. of A shreds 7,000 tons of used currency each year.
This was from a "Facts" RSS feed that suddenly appeared in my Google Reader. I don't recall subscribing to it, but maybe I did a few weeks ago, then...as sometimes happens after adding a new feed...all the posts show up at once.
Anyway...the facts are cool, but the link is to some affiliate site, like this:
Europe is the only continent without a desert.:
"Get Facts To Your Cell Phone. Sign Up Now"
The link is invalid, because I cut a bit of the URL out of it. It goes to www.b4u.com and it doesn't look like a site I'd want to hang around.
I may keep using the facts, but cut out the URL to the website, screw 'em.
titivate
October 7, 2009
Diet Big Red™ Soda
From the website:
If you're searching for a diet soft drink that tastes great and tastes as good as or even better than the original flavor, you should try Diet Big Red. Diet Big Red was one of the first diet soft drinks to offer Splenda brand sucralose as a non-nutritive sweetener. The growth of this brand over the last ten years has far exceeded the growth of other diet sodas. It's a delicious, easy to drink diet soft drink.
I couldn't have said it better! I've been looking for a decent diet soda since I found out I have diabetes. I used to drink regular Coke™, but their diet offerings leave something to be desired. I never drank much Pepsi™ , but their diet soda is much better than Coke™, which isn't saying a lot.
The flavored pop is OK in diet; I've tried orange and root beer and they're not too bad (they HAVE to be super-cold or over ice for me to drink them) but this last week Big Red™ was on sale and I bought a 12-pk. It was delicious and without the horrid aftertaste that most diet sodas have.
When I was a kid, we used to drink Fanta Red Cream soda with our hotdogs at the Coney Island Cafe here in town, but I haven't seen it in a store in a long, long time. Momma used to buy us the Faygo brand strawberry soda; it was a cheaper product and came in stubby little bottles. We didn't care, though; it all tasted good and gave us the required sugar rush!
Anyway...I highly recommend this soda if you drink the diet kinds.
Original Post 8/21/09
Am bumping this up because ToTG was mentioned on the Big Red™ Twitter page.
