Ruining AOC's Holiday

  Click graphic f/ larger view.

turpitude

turpitude noun [tur-pi-tood]

vile, shameful, or base character; depravity

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I knew of this word and have seen/heard it used most often in the phrase "moral turpitude". I haven't thought of it or heard it used in a long time, but from now on I'll think of it when I see a certain someone:

Looks like I'll think of it a LOT over the next four/five years. Gag.

Heaven help us all.

The Cancer of Democracy

Bread and Circuses is the cancer of democracy, the fatal disease for which there is no cure. Democracy often works beautifully at first. But once a state extends the franchise to every warm body, be he producer or parasite, that day marks the beginning of the end of the state. For when the plebs discover that they can vote themselves bread and circuses without limit and that the productive members of the body politic cannot stop them, they will do so, until the state bleeds to death, or in its weakened condition the state succumbs to an invader--the barbarians enter Rome.

— Lazarus Long, in Robert Heinlein's To Sail Beyond the Sunset

(Note: To anyone who wants to nitpick - yes, I know that's from the cover of a paperback edition of Time Enough For Love, but it IS a depiction of Lazarus Long, so just stow it before you whine, all right?)

Tough Teddy

On October 14, 1912, Theodore Roosevelt was shot, and then went on to give a 90 minute speech while covered in blood, the bullet still lodged in him.

Wrong Place, Wrong Shirt

First, let me say I usually like to post the link where I found a particular 404 page, but even though I just found this one a couple of days ago, I've already forgotten where it was and I didn't save the URL.  So, I went to TinEye, the image search service, uploaded the image and found 85 matches.  Apparently it's used all over the 'net and not just on the site where I found it. (whatever that was)  I saw it was also used in a progressive political site to disparage "tea baggers".

("tea baggers", the progressive pejorative used for conservatives, not just the ones who adhere to the TEA (Taxed Enough Already) Party "platform", which is basically lower taxes and smaller govt.  You can count me in as a "tea bagger" then, even though the term first came into being as a homosexual sexual practice.  I'd much rather be gay than a progressive, anyway. It's obvious that progressive political site is run by and frequented by ugly, bitter, man-hating lesbians)

Anyway, I thought this one was clever. (click graphic for larger view)

Yep, I'd say the guy is definitely in the wrong place.  With - or without-  a shirt like that, I'd rather be in Hawaii.

cherry-pick

cherry-pick \ CHER-ee-pik \ verb

1. Informal: to select with great care: You can cherry-pick your own stereo components.
2. Informal: (in retail use) to buy only the sale items and ignore the other merchandise.

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I see people do this all the time with facts...and not just people, but websites, too.

For example, Yahoo had an article about President Obama's latest vacation and cherry-picked facts about the numbers of vacation days he had taken since being in office and comparing them to the total vacation days of other presidents. Even though the candidate Obama promised to devote every waking minute to the job, it's unrealistic to expect someone to never take a break, to not have any down time.

The way I feel about it, it's not the number of vacation days a president takes, but rather WHEN he takes them.  Making a short statement, then going on a golfing vacation after radical Islamists beheaded an American citizen and made threats towards the U.S. is not a good time to go on vacation, Mr. President. 

prevaricator

prevaricator [pri-var-i-key-ter] noun

1. a person who speaks falsely; liar.
2. a person who speaks so as to avoid the precise truth; quibbler; equivocator.

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This definition should be illustrated with a group photo of Congress and this administration.

Smell Some Fresh Body

So said the subject line of an email in my Gmail spam folder. Actually, the entire line said "SMELL some fresh body of adorable Breanne W. Dysinger" and the originating address was from Breanne at: aevaky@taty.org.

Here's a screen shot of the email: (click image for larger view)

I posted the image because when I copied the mail to a Notepad document to then post in here, I got a lot more weird stuff that was in tiny letters between the rest of the text; here's an example:

ðayNow josiah as big brother. Asked as well enough fer the truth
A2³½Where you need for trouble. Whenever she hoped the strong arm around
uq³Cj'²dlhUJ¦i0ℵ¦bc96ΤZk47>7 sÃÕþbƒ5öàeoQâ4lÃo⊂¤lpeΩóoA5E²w⊇Ipf ⊃ÿ'⊇t0uQooé©ℵ® 5c©ζvΝÏh2i≅C÷íeFj¤fw©Daφ l6Κ7mm¹6Íy1dfm 6áÿÀ(0SuI190—Êm)e8Âø û7dOpv9íZrM¹cÒi0­¸ΟvFV'Íai4≡Υt1e94eρ1⊂U ç§∗CpIliΝhZ7¹ooAI87tþJšαou9nRsx±δÛ: Will you were the only. Ignoring the ground but pa had ever Stay there were too far away.Something emma in one when they could.feBreanne's֭  p i c sRRJHVAsked mary sat by judith bronte george. Asked will but the ground and mary. Besides the kiss on her head. Leave with that moment emma.Since emma lay down on with more. Just one last for everything. Well enough fer all this morning josiah.

There was a lot more, but I'm sure you get the gist.  I'm certain all that and the rest was an attempt to get past the spam filters.

I think I'm going to petition my congressman to pass a law that mandates the death penalty for spammers.  After a few dozen robo-calls this last week from politicians wanting my vote, I doubt he'd go for it because I want them to be executed, too.

From A to Pee

How much liquid does the human bladder hold?

If you were to ask most women, the answer would probably be "Not enough!" Seriously, the bladder in humans and other mammals is an extremely elastic and expandable muscular sac. The average adult can comfortably hold up to about one-third quart of urine. More urine causes the bladder to become distended and uncomfortable. Each individual is different, of course, so there are wide variations in urine capacity.

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It had been a while since I had done trivia and I couldn't remember if I had already posted this one, so I did a quick search. I hadn't, but was surprised that there were quite a few more pee posts.

I'm not really fond of bodily function humor, but one of the earliest jokes I ever remember was my momma saying "Just call me Peepee...I'm all urine." That was funny when I was about ten or so. I guess it still is. It's much funnier than the other similar joke I heard around the same time; counting off: "You're a five, You're a six, you're a seven, you're..."

That's about all the jokes I know about peeing, although when it was raining heavily my dad would say "It's coming down like a cow peein' on a flat rock."  It also reminds me of talking about the differences between men and women with an old girlfriend and she said women can do anything a man can do PLUS have babies.  I told her they couldn't write their names in the snow. 

The next time it snowed I reminded her about her boast and in just a few minutes, she proved me wrong.  Her "writing" wasn't as neat as mine, but to give her credit, it was legible.   It was also hilarious to see.

Oh, there's one more peeing joke I had forgotten.  It's been around as long as I can remember.  The first time I heard it, it had Richard Nixon in it, so that should tell you how old it is.  I'll update it to be current.

One snowy Washington DC morning, President Obama woke up and saw "Obama sucks!" written in the snow on the White House lawn.  He was so enraged, he got the FBI on the case, taking evidence to find out who was the culprit.  A few hours later, they came back to him with the report.

"We hate to have to tell you this...." said the FBI agent.  "Tell me!" commanded the President. "Well, we ran tests and it turns out it's Joe Biden's DNA."  Furious, the President glared at him.  "We have even more bad news, Mr. President." the FBI agent continued.  "What could be worse than having my Vice-President mock me?" asked the President.  "Well..." stammered the FBI man.  "It was in Michelle's handwriting."

OK, enough horrible jokes.  I'm sure they're pushing the G-rated classification of this blog as it is.    I'll just close with this admission:

I suffer from Paruresis.

cahoots

From our Word of the Day module in the right-hand column:

cahoots (kəˈhuːts)— pl n

1. ( US ) partnership; league (esp in the phrases go in cahoots with, go cahoot)
2. in cahoots, in collusion

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I've never been one to engage in conspiracy theories; I believe it was just Oswald who shot JFK, I believe we landed on the moon and I'm sure it was Islamic extremists who flew into the World Trade Center towers and not some diabolical plan by Bush and his evil henchmen. (and if you DO think that about Bush, then get the hell off my blog, you're too damn stupid to read what I write.  There's a lot President Bush should answer to and take the blame for, but that's not one of them.)

That said, I am beginning to think that the Democrats and Republicans, for all their public squabbling that would have you think differently, are in cahoots. Honestly, I can't tell the difference.

Romney Sings Concession

Note: I wasn't thrilled with the outcome of the election but I wouldn't have been thrilled if it had turned out differently. Whatever...this is funny and points out the problem that comes from having a candidate that is nothing like the average American.

Time to Reboot

Dear Republicans,

You've got a problem:



I really don't think it's possible to "continue normally".

Clear cache, cookies, run HijackThis, look through the logfile, fix the errors, reboot.

Install True Conservatism...you know, the one that's for limited government, lower taxes, personal responsibility, etc.  Open up the big tent, kick the RINOs out, along with the racists, the gay bashers and religious extremists. Let in the conservative libertarians and stop harping on the social issues. Stop it with the anti-abortion and anti-gay stands; neither are illegal, haven't you heard?  Abortion is here to stay and gay marriage won't be the downfall of this great nation, but the continued loss of our liberties very well may be.  If you don't back off on these two issues, you'll never get the future generation on your side.

Lead by example, don't preach down to people. If you're going to talk the talk, you'd damn well better walk the walk.

There's really not much wrong, after all.




Of course, you can ignore my advice and continue down the losing path, but don't expect another vote from me.

Rumspringa

That's a new word I learned today. I saw it in a reply to a post in Big Hollywood - the topic was Katy Perry, Jessica and Ashlee Simpson and how they were raised in a church, but weren't being Christian in their careers. I like to read Big Hollywood but don't really like it when they interject religion or politics into their articles. (because 99% of Hollywood is liberal and the posts and replies mostly bitch and moan about it... and criticisms of religion almost always wind up sounding "holier than thou".)

One of the replies said the girls might be on their Rumspringa "and they'll get over it." From the context, I had an inkling as to what the word meant, but I wasn't familiar with it. Wiki says Rumspringa is a time when Amish youth "sow their wild oats". It was an interesting and informative read, so I did a little more research. I've read about Amish kids being busted for selling/using drugs and I seem to recall a recent murder that shocked the Amish community, but the funniest thing I have read about Amish crime has been beard cutting assaults. (Well, funny to me, but I wasn't the one getting my beard cut off.)

Maybe I'm insensitive about that, but I've never been able to grow a beard, just a mustache and Amish men don't wear mustaches. (I'm not sure about the Amish women) I could never be Amish, I guess, because I like my 'stache and my TV and microwave.

I also found out there's a band named Rumspringa and this is where I'd normally add the video, but I'm not in the mood for alternative music.

I do know an Amish joke, though:

What goes "clip clop clip clop - BANG BANG BANG - clip clop clip clop"?

An Amish drive-by shooting.

dudgeon

dudgeon \DUH-juhn\ , noun;

1. A state or fit of intense indignation; resentment; ill humor -- often used in the phrase "in high dudgeon."

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I was "in high dudgeon" earlier;  I was in a conservative political site and had commented on Glenn Beck - that I didn't like him, mainly-  and I was told to not "shoot the messenger". I replied, saying I didn't want to kill him, but I WOULD like someone to shoot him in his butt, the sorry SOB.

I then got a reply from the same guy, accusing me of uncivility and how it was a shame when people today could't be polite, citing several instances such as "RINO", "Libtard", calling Michelle Obama a "wookie" and how people made fun of Sarah Palin and her mentally challenged child.  He gave several more examples of namecalling that "hurt America" and insinuated that I was what was wrong w/ America.

(I've never called anyone a libtard - my friends and regular readers of this blog know how I feel about people using "retarded" as a pejorative. I do think *some* liberals are dumb as a box of rocks, but I also think some conservatives are that way as well. I wouldn't dream of making fun of Sarah Palin's child and think it admirable that she bore the child and didn't abort him, even though that would have been the easy way out. I've never called Michelle Obama a "wookie", either. First, I'm not a huge Star Wars fan and secondly, she doesn't seem to be all that hairy. I will admit to not finding her as attractive as some do, but I think the ugly thing about her has been some of her public statements about not being proud of America until her hubby was elected and sitting with him and listening to their preacher Wright's anti-American rants and not getting up and walking out.)

It didn't take long to look through his Intense Debate profile and find just a day ago where he said "I could kill him for that." and calling another poster a POS and telling Newt Gingrich to "STFU".  He also had several instances of calling Ron Paul a "loon" and not coming to his defense when others called him worse names.  I found a dozen examples of his own rudeness about politicians and to other posters;  I gave up after I had enough and had scrolled through a dozen pages of his posts.

I tried to be polite, telling him what I said was hyperbole, and saying if he wanted civility, then he should practice it himself.  I then I pulled out my old standby retort when someone is being hypocritical, telling him that getting advice on civility from him was akin to getting drug counseling from a crackhead.

I don't like Glenn Beck;  he's a weepy, overly-dramatic fear monger.  If you love him, that's fine...it's a free country, after all, but I'm not changing my mind about him.  I was flipping through the channels last night and he had an excellent show going on about black people who helped found our country and had influence in its shaping.  Then he started to cry over something, and I turned over to something a little less dramatic. 

I've become misty-eyed over some things - old veterans carrying the US flag, thinking of all the things my parents did for me and I didn't let them know how much I appreciated it, even the endings to the last Harry Potter book and the movie "Rudy".  I consider myself to be overly-emotional and that's hardly ever a good thing, but if we had in Texas the on-air tears that Beck has wept, we'd be drought-free for the next hundred years.

I'm Not Typical

We Can't Predict Who You Voted For

According to our quiz, there's a 42% chance you voted for Obama. But that means there's an 58% chance you voted for McCain. You aren't very typical. You tend to be independent, and your vote is highly coveted. While we can't predict how you voted, there's a good chance you voted for the winner!

Did You Vote for Obama or McCain?

Blogthings: Free Quizzes for Everyone

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An interesting political quiz. As I've said before, I'm a conservative, but that's by my own definition and not by anyone else's. Some of the answers I gave are responsible for the 42% chance I voted for Obama (I did not)such as gay marriage (I really don't care, but let them call it something else - "marriage" is between a man and a woman. My only objection is one of semantics, I suppose)

Another question that put me in that 42% is "Do you think America has changed for the worse since September 11, 2001?" I said yes but it's not for a single reason - it's the economy, the political hatred from both sides, the ever present threat of terrorism, the eroding of our civil liberties...many reasons. Another question that put me in the percentage is "What should we do in Iraq? Keep our troops there/bring them home?" I want them home, just as I want our troops home from all over the world. We're financing the very socialism we decry in other countries mainly because they're not paying for their own defense and are instead spending that money on socialistic programs.

Other questions that put me in the other percentage category are where do I live, do I have a favorable opinion on Bush (I did when I took the test, but ask me again tomorrow and I might have a different answer)

Take the test, see for yourself. I know these tests aren't to be taken seriously or literally, but I AM proud of what it says in my results:

"You aren't very typical. You tend to be independent, and your vote is highly coveted."

Beatle Bashes Bush

via Big Hollywood:

Classless Paul McCartney Trashes Bush In Front of Obama at White House




From the article

The Brits, as we all know, have a thing about “class.” For example, your accent not only denotes what part of the country from which you hail, but whether you are “working class,” “middle class,” or “nobility” and all things in between. And if you have the “wrong” accent, good luck getting accepted into certain circles.

For someone who comes from a nation that’s still so hung up on class, Paul McCartney recently demonstrated that he has none.

McCartney – excuse me, Sir Paul McCartney, obviously a classy guy – was in the East Room at the White House, receiving the Library of Congress Gershwin Prize for Popular Song. Despite the non-political nature of the event, which featured McCartney himself and other musicians performing his songs in front of a select audience (including the President and First Lady), somehow Paul couldn’t hold back a snarky remark about Obama’s predecessor:

“After the last eight years, it’s great to have a president who knows what a library is.”

Nice.

What the heck, here's the rest, unethically stretching the "Fair Use" allowance, but it says exactly how I feel:

Here you are, invited to the United States to receive a prestigious award from the Library of Congress in the White House, the most celebrated address in America no matter who resides there. Bush was not your president then, just as Obama is not your president now. You’re just a visitor. And yet you, the guest of honor at a very swank party, have to mar the event with a tacky insult aimed at a man who is no longer calling the shots but is now a private citizen minding his own business. You also feel the need to tell the current president’s critics that Obama’s a great guy and you’re a huge fan, so “lay off.”

I’ll bet you were a brown noser in school too.

Just imagine an American singer or actor being similarly honored in your country and making such a remark at an event sponsored by David Cameron about either Gordon Brown or Tony Blair. The press there would rightly have a field day dragging said celeb over the coals.

By the way, you might want to try reading some of the same books as Bush has, rather than Obama’s biography, which was written before he’d even done anything worth writing about other than singing his own praises.

I find it amusing that Bush is widely known to be a dummy by celebrities like you, many of whom have not gone on to higher education themselves, but have decided to become musicians, actors, and so on. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Not going to college isn’t necessarily a sign of lack of intelligence, just as getting that degree doesn’t necessarily mean one is a genius.

But since you seem so eager to portray Obama as one of the greatest minds of our time, perhaps you could use some of your clout as a world renowned musician to get his college transcripts released so that the rest of us can bask in the rainbow glow of righteousness right along with you. After all, look how well the mantle of brilliance worked out for John Kerry.

Look, you don’t like George Bush. I get it. And never would I suggest that your right to speak your mind be taken away – part of the reason America sought to get away from the “mother country” was indeed about the tendency of the Crown to try to silence its critics. Yet because you think Obama is a “great guy,” you feel the need to tell the rest of us to “lay off” the poor sod as you continue to “lay into” the guy who isn’t even president anymore. Free speech is a two-way street, baby.

To quote Bugs Bunny: what a maroon.

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Ditto from me, Sir (said with the same sneer as "cur")Paul. This hurts me because I've always been a huge fan as well as an unabashed Anglophile. Now I regret all the money I've ever spent to help line your pockets. (well, yours and your ex-wife's -snicker- ) I still love your music, but it will be hard for me to listen to it from now on thinking of the dumbass thing you said. Makes me wish I'd have stolen the tunes, instead.

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Edit to add: I posted this shortly after seeing it pop up in my reader; there are now two pages of comments, many of them - like me - disappointed in McCartney's comment. Some others are more vicious...but funny.

GOP Valentine's Day Cards

Send your favorite right-winger a Valentine e-card with GOP Valentine's Day Cards.

Some are very clever; here's one of my favorites:



(I couldn't use the Al Franken one as an example; it makes me nauseous to think of him or hear him, much less look at his ugly mug)

I suppose the recipient doesn't necessarily have to be a right-winger; you could send one to a liberal you want to infuriate.

GOP Valentine's Day Cards

quietus

quietus \kwy-EE-tuhs\ , noun;
1. Final discharge or acquittance, as from debt or obligation.
2. Removal from activity; rest; death.
3. Something that serves to suppress or quiet.

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We need to put the quietus to Congress...all of 'em.

penchant

penchant \PEN-chunt\ , noun;
1. Inclination; decided taste; a strong liking.

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Our govt. certainly has a penchant for lying and stealing.

rapacious

rapacious \ruh-PAY-shuhs\ , adjective;
1. Given to plunder; seizing by force.
2. Subsisting on prey.
3. Grasping; greedy.

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Yet another word that aptly describes Congress and this current administration. (and many other past ones, too)